The Secrets in Colette Baron-Reid’s Name

Your Name Contains Secret Codes

Secret Codes in Your Name

Your name creates an instant impression. But did you know your name has secret codes?

Just like the Bible has a code, your name does too.

It reveals clues about your past, present and future. Your name also unlocks mysteries and riddles you may have been pondering about for years.

The codes are called Lexigrams.

Here’s an example. The name ‘President Abraham Lincoln’ unlocks the following extraordinary revelations and premonitions about Lincon’s life:

‘Born in a cabin, he healed a torn nation.’
‘Others hated him, he hated none.’
‘Lincoln is a sad man, alone in a mob.’
‘He told no lies – others lied to him.’
‘He led the North, and calmed the rebels’
‘The Nation remained united.’
‘His death came from a shot in the head.’
‘He had a coma in the brain.’
‘Abraham Lincoln lead America home.’
‘His star is eternal.’
‘Honest Abe.’

Yes, lexigrams are stunning and empowering. They contain forecasts, tendencies, your talents and even give you warnings. They can be silly or serious.

How are they created. From the letters in your name.

First you create words using those letters. Then you make sentences or phrases from the words you found.

These phrases are the secret codes that describe you and your life.

Recently my close friend, Colette Baron-Reid, asked me to give her a reading of her name’s hidden codes. In case you don’t know her, Colette is world renowned intuitive and author.

She was astounded by what her name revealed.

Colette’s lexigram codes confirmed details nobody else would know about. They show her passion, dedication, and tendencies. Her past, present and future.

Her name also proves she was destined to reach the world.

These lexigrams moved her so deeply – Colette wanted me to share it with you.

Please note. If you have not read Colette’s books, then in order to understand the first lexigram, you need to know that when Colette was young she was an alcoholic and drug user. At age 19 she was gang-raped.

Look at what her first two secret codes reveal.

‘Once In Decline And Deterred, Borderline Derelict Colette Retired Tonic Bottle And Reoriented To Create A Bold Doer And Robed Elder.’

‘Colette Learned To Read In A Battle.’

Unbelievable. Yes, Colette is a survivor. 24 years ago she pulled herself out from the depths of hell and is now living a life of glorious achievement.

Most importantly, she is happily married and totally dedicated to her hundreds of thousands of clients around the world through her radio show, books, private sessions and seminars. The great Wayne Dyer raves about her abilities.

Colette is the real deal. She is down to earth, genuine, giving, very funny, and incredibly intuitive.

So let’s see what the codes in her name reveal about her magnificent gifts.

‘Colette Baron-Reid – Born To Be A Celebrated Oracle Reader.’

‘Colette Baron-Reid Orbited Into An Icon.’

‘Enter Client-Centered and Trendier Colette Baron-Reid.’

‘Role – To Create A Reborn Client.’

‘Colette Liberated And Retooled Client – Leads Client To Create Oracle.’

The next lexigram uses the word ‘doctrine’ in place of book. Remember, each one of these words is contained in her name.

‘Read Entire, Credible Colette Doctrine.’

Colette and I share another passion – music. She is a singer/songwriter and an EMI recording artist. Her voice is gorgeous, and her songs beautiful, sophisticated and passionate.

Of course the name ‘Colette Baron Reid’ would indicate her musical gifts as well –

‘Colette Has A Tender Treble and Baritone Tone – A Note Crooner.’

My friend’s future has already been partly revealed in earlier lexigrams. Here are two more clues as to Colette’s potential -

‘Icon Colette Encored and Entitled To the End.’

‘Director Colette In Control At Lectern.’

Lexigrams give other indications as well. I call them warnings. I found one concerning Colette’s physical health and advised her to take more quiet time to rejuvenate from her hectic schedule. This is what I found.

‘Need To Tend To Tired Colette.’

Your Lexigrams often reveal colors, numbers, animals, locations, and even foods. For example, Colette has the animals Lion, Deer, Colt, Bird, Loon, Critter and Bronco -demonstrating her astounding range of talents and her ability to tune into all types of people and situations.

The ‘Instant Manifestation’ number ‘Ten’ is also in her name. As is the Number ‘One’ symbolizing creativity, originality and leadership. These two numbers – 1 and 10 – describe Colette’s expansive range.

Imagine how empowered you would feel if you knew the riddles hidden in YOUR name.

Now you can.

I am finally offering the brand New ‘What Your Name Reveals’ lexigram report.

Lexigrams take many hours, even days, to unlock. For this reason I am limiting the amount of reports I create to only 8 a month.

So discover ‘What Your Name Reveals’ now.

HYPERLINK “http://taniagabrielle.com/lexigram.html” http://taniagabrielle.com/lexigram.html

The codes in your name WILL astonish you and change your life.

Warmest Regards,

Tania Gabrielle

P.S. Read the amazing lexigrams for Michael Jordan and Luciano Pavarotti here – “http://taniagabrielle.com/lexigram.html”

In today’s busy world of to-do lists and endless obligations, it’s easy to forget that we’re all part of a greater Universe. But, when you really take a moment to think about it, all of life is incredibly amazing! A spectacular web of Divine energy flows through you as well as every other living being. When you experience the world around you with reverence, you open yourself up to that Divine energy and expand your intuitive awareness. You step beyond the local reality of your “Me Bubble,” rise above your ego and rational mind, and open yourself to the vast mystery of something greater than yourself. You feel awake, alive, and cared for. With reverence, you’re in tune with life and able to hear, see, and feel Spirit’s messages more clearly.

Do you remember one of the first times you looked at the world in awe? When I was growing up, I remember feeling incredibly amazed about the teachings in of my faith. I was fascinated by the idea of the soul, angels, and stories in the Bible. I’d also pour over my father’s books reading about other cultures and ways of life. I was awe at the complexity in which people across the world strove to understand and revere the Divine. Many of my clients and friends have also told me about their early reverence of nature. I have a friend who remembers peering out her bedroom window when she was about four, seeing the sun stream down and suddenly realizing that the world around her was on her side, even though life at home was in a constant state of upheaval. Reverence often comes more naturally to us as children; we’re more open to possibilities and have yet to get caught up in our left-brain society. As adults, life tends to get much more complex and moments of reverence become fewer and fewer.

Reverence for the brilliant world around you can alter your life. One of my most dramatic experiences with reverence happened in early 1986 when I was in treatment for alcoholism and felt my life had completely fallen apart. Wrapped up in a self-centered “Me Bubble” as addicts often are, one day I decided to take a walk around the grounds rehab center. With my head down, I wandered along a muddy path around a beautiful lake. I was deep in my own little world and not watching where I was going when the heel of my boot got stuck in the mud. I was forced to pause and assess how to pull my heel out of the suctioning mud without losing my nice leather boot. In that moment, I glanced up and noticed a gigantic tree towering up right in front of me. I was taken aback in awe at its beauty and the profound creative power of nature and All-That-Is. In that magical moment, I knew I wasn’t alone, but was part of a greater world of Spirit. I can still vividly picture that tree and its breath-taking beauty.

In addition to those spontaneous moments of awe, we can cultivate reverence in our everyday experience. We can become more reverent by doing reverent things. What steps can you take to show your respect to Nature and the Divine on a daily basis? As I mentioned in my last blog, I am vigilant about only eating cruelty-free animal products and using skin care products that have not been tested on animals. My husband and I also make certain we recycle our trash and bring reusable bags to the grocery store to cut down on plastic use. I have many friends and clients who have switched to green cleaning supplies, solar power in their homes, and vehicles that do less harm to the planet. You can also take a moment to acknowledge and support nature around you, perhaps by feeding birds, caring for plants, or cleaning up trash you notice on the side of the road.

Remember that when you treat the world around you with reverence, you open yourself to the All-That-Is. You rise out of your local ego world and move into a vast creative pulse greater than yourself, where you can see, hear, and experience more of your intuition.

Exercises:

1. Step into Reverence Everyday:
What steps can you take to experience reverence each day? Perhaps take a walk in nature, enjoy some fresh flowers, switch to “green” products, care for plants, put up a hummingbird feeder and watch the birds, conserve water, etc. Commit to doing this everyday for a week.

2. Connect with Nature
Find a beautiful natural place by water, perhaps near the ocean, a river, or a pond. If you can’t get to a place near water, visualize it in your mind.

Relax and breathe deeply. Allow your five senses to take in the environment. Note how it smells, feels, etc.

Now turn your attention to the water or the image of the water. Be present with it. Think about its significance and the life force that created it.

Take in the vastness of it and make a conscious commitment to honor and revere all living things.

Think about the limitless connection of everything. Say a prayer of thanks to Spirit for the water and nature around you.

Finally, close your eyes and tune into your surroundings with your sixth sense. Write down any messages you receive.

Love
Colette

Try this Reverence meditation which can be found in my online store as an mp3 download.

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One myth is like a miniature world.  A world in which there are seemingly infinite avenues of wisdom imparted.  Each avenue within a story points in a philosophical direction.  Moving within a myth, we are offered symbolic cues – signposts, roadmaps, landmarks – all of these are waiting for our awareness to discover.

And once uncovered, these symbolic breadcrumbs can catalyze our understanding.  Why? Because myths are also a training ground for the psyche.  What we, as “civilized” humans may not be able to act out in society – we can certainly get a taste for in myth.  The trick is to submerge within the myth and intimately relate to the characters, setting and direction.

Consider the deities in myth.   Gods and goddesses in myth are symbolic archetypes.  Deities are “in your face” – typically grossly overdramatized.  Honestly, is Zeus a subtle dude?  I think not.  There is reason for this.  Gods and goddesses are technicolor stunners designed to accentuate the personal sagas each and every human encounters in life.

These high-voltage personalities magnetize the reader.  They pull at our consciousness and coax an enlarged perspective of life, behavior and action.  Egos in myth get blown up (maybe even out of proportion), so we can get a magnified view of a personality.  This magnification prompts natural identification to our own personality traits.

Even if we can’t align our understanding with the mentality of a god or goddess, we might encounter paradigm shifting through their attributes.  Each deity has their own set of symbols.  Zeus has got lighting rods.  Diana, her bow and arrow.  Hypnos has his poppies.  Astarte, the lion.  Epona, rides the horse.  On and on, we see sacred emblems associated with all the mentionable immortals.  Our consciousness can benefit from a romp through these attributes.

Learning the connection between a god and their symbol can galvanize keen wisdom.  Adopting a specialized symbol in your meditations can be revolutionary too.  Give it a try.  Sometimes our connections with the so-called “inanimate” can be more profound than anything else.

Lastly, and most overlooked is scenery in myth.  Epic environments can yield major epiphanies in understanding.  From Mount Olympus to the River Styx – Valhalla to the Yggdrasill – landscapes and landmarks in myth can be real earth-shakers for our awareness.  As you are moving through a myth, consider yourself a tourist and take in the local scenery.

Recognize the elemental properties within each scenic feature (fire, earth, air, water) and contemplate these implications.  Ask yourself how these features can broaden your views.  Like, why does Cernunnos hang out in the forest?  What makes volcanoes prime real estate for Pele?  Take these questions a step further and ask what these landscapes represent to you.  Your responses may surprise you.

To be sure, the realm of myth is endless in its ability to serve up a feast of perspectives to our hungry spiritual senses.  In the end, it’s what we do with myths that reaps the highest reward.  How we interpret them – how we pick them apart – how we translate their meanings as they apply in our own lives…this is what can potentially feed our souls.

I hope this article on variable symbolism in myths encourages you to take a fresh look at the ancient stories of all cultures.  Moreover, I hope this innovative approach to myths unlocks your own sacred knowing.

Avia Venefica

Though the word “cledon” sounds a little bit star trek-ish, it’s a concept that actually originated in ancient Rome. For our ancestors in the Roman Empire, it was common practice to pray to the gods for guidance and then go out into the world to get a message. People expected to get their insight from Apollo through day-to-day interactions; for example, they’d overhear a conversation between strangers at the local market, or a friend would unknowingly deliver a message over dinner.

We still receive cledons all the time today. You might hear a conversation at the mall in which two random strangers say just what you need to hear. Or, perhaps you’re having lunch with a friend who says something that answers your question on what to do next in your career. You may even be listening to me do a reading with a caller on my radio show or with someone at one of my events and just know that what I told them is also a message for you. (I get many fascinating emails from radio listeners and event attendees who have had this experience. I love hearing them!) Common cledons can come from other people, songs on the radio, the T.V., and billboards.

Here’s an example of one of my own recent cledons. It was actually pretty amazing when it happened. I was in LA with my husband at breakfast. At the time, I’d been wrestling with becoming a vegetarian; I’d just read Skinny Bitch and saw an upsetting video on factory farming and dairy cows. I wasn’t sure that the milk in my coffee was organic and wondered if the cows that produced the milk were treated well. I mentioned this to my husband while we were sipping coffee, and he said, “Why don’t you pray about it or ask for a sign?” So, I asked Spirit for a sign. Just a few seconds later, this little girl not even yet two years old had sat at the next table with her father and she started looking at me and saying “No!” Her father profusely apologized to us saying, “She never does this. I’m so sorry!” I was taken aback because little kids and puppies always respond well to me. Even my husband said how weird it was. Then the little girl looked right at me and loudly exclaimed: “MAD COW!” Well, her father was beyond shocked and turned to her to ask, “Where did you learn those words?” The little girl just looked at me giggling and smiling and then turned to her dad and continued on as if nothing had happened. I have since only used organic soymilk in my coffee and have become pretty vigilant about only eating cruelty-free animal products. This is only one story among the many cledons I’ve experienced.

So, how do you know you’re getting a cledon? Your sense will be heightened in a noticeably different way. It will feel like truth amplified. For instance, you may experience a heightened feeling and suddenly in that moment you’ll just know intuitively that what you overheard was a message for you. Or, you may experience more sensitive hearing; perhaps the radio will suddenly seem louder during a song with a message that Spirit intends especially for you. When you receive a cledon, it’s as if Spirit knows exactly what’s on your mind and addresses it.

Of course, Spirit does know what’s going on because it’s part of you. It lives in you as your higher self, and your intuition is your connection to the Divine. Spirit is what made you and its highest desire is to help you manifest your utmost life experience. Remember that Spirit is always communicating with you and looking out for your best interest. So, as long as you ask for guidance, you’ll receive a message. Spirit, however, decides the how, when, and what. And, of course, you will not necessarily get the answer you want.

Exercise:
Take a moment today to ask Spirit for a message about something you’d like guidance on. (For example, your career, love life, finances, a decision you need to make, etc.)

Now, continue to go about your life and trust that Spirit will send you a message in Divine appropriate timing. Sometimes you’ll get a cledon right away, but other times it will come a few weeks later. Just have patience and trust Spirit will answer you.

I’d also like to encourage you to start a journal and begin recording the messages Spirit sends you. In future blogs, I’ll share more ways for you to communicate and receive guidance from Spirit. So, be sure to start a journal and you’ll be truly amazed at how you’re never alone—the Divine is always guiding you to your perfect destiny.

Also be sure to report back and share your cledon experiences!!

Love,
Colette

As I mentioned in my last blog How To Tune Into Soul FM!, intuition feels like truth. It might not make logical sense, but when you initially tune into it, it will feel real. It’s only after you filter it through your ego mind, it can get distorted. So, today I’d like to invite you to explore the inner workings of your ego.

You can answer the question “Who am I?” in two ways: I am Me (the five senses, the ego, the mind, etc.) and I am more than Me (the higher self/higher consciousness, the soul, etc.). We filter all of our experience and even our intuition through the first Me or what I call the “Me Bubble.” Our higher self, on the other hand, directly engages with Spirit.

To tap into the higher self and your intuition, you have to get past all the extra fluff coming from your “Me Bubble.”

Until you know who you really are, it can be very hard to distinguish between messages from your “Me Bubble” and your higher self. This is why many of us have had the experience of wishful thinking. The filter between the two gets clogged because your ego really wants to only acknowledge your local reality as truth. For example, you might meet a man and get all excited that he’s “the one” and block out the whispers from your intuition that he isn’t. When you objectively know and accept your truth—your ego tendencies, your story, your “stuff,” your idiosyncrasies, and so on—you fully open yourself to your intuition.

The bottom line is that in order to tune into your intuition, you need to know the true content of the world that exists in the mind of Me.

So, it’s time to take a personal inventory and get clear on who you are! Taking inventory is truly one of the most powerful exercises you can do shift your consciousness. I’ve done several personal inventories over the years and each time I gain greater awareness about myself and my higher consciousness.

Exercise:

First list the main events in your life. List them as facts in chronological order.

Then, write your story from the perspective of how you were wounded. It could be by anyone or by a situation. This helps you see how you may unknowingly be playing out the role of victim in your life.

Now, rewrite the same story from the perspective of what was good in your life.

Now, reread the three parts and notice how your perception has changed. We experience our personal truth through the interpretation of events. For intuition to be clear, we need to be neutral. You have to have perspective—for what is true for you today might not be true for you tomorrow. What is true for you now also may depend on your mood. Always keep this in mind so you can recognize your response to the world.

As you go about your day, stay conscious of what’s contained in your “Me Bubble.” Even small things such as likes and dislikes or a white lie may bias your perspective and leave you confused about what your intuition is telling you. So, live in your truth!

Staying in this truth will help you turn up the volume on your intuition.

Love,
Colette

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Today the numbers 3.3.3 are activated. It is the 3rd day in the 3rd month in 2010 – a 3 Universal Year.

3 times 3 adds up to a 9 Universal Day – a  number of compassion, release, wisdom and endings. Like 3 and 6, the number 9 is an emotional vibration.

So you will FEEL deeply today.

In order to keep from getting overwhelmed by emotional distractions, put your thoughts and ideas into Action. 3 is a number of creative activity and self expression. Imagine a goal – large or small – and create it.

By putting your ideas into action you’ll experience the joy of this beautiful number. 3 in the highest sense symbolizes Perfection.

The flip side of the 3 is that some people will express negativity and get pulled into the drama.

Notice how 3 faces to the left. Left is the past – Right is the future. So if you feel negative emotions today, or during this 3 Universal Year, it is because you are caught up in what has been and never will be again.

You are not present in this moment CREATING.

Much of depression results from the pain of the past and an inability to clear the mind of emotional and mental cobwebs.

3 always reminds us that Creativity is the natural cure for fear.

So today, be bold. Pay attention to the positive in your life. This alone will uplift and attract the delight and joy of the number 3.

Today you can generate a major internal shift.

Warmest Regards,
Tania Gabrielle

Our culture has long honored logic and intellect as the most valuable way to experience the world. We tend to love facts and figures and distrust what we cannot prove. Yet, intuition is one of your most powerful senses. Okay, I know I’m kind of biased as an intuitive! But, even many of the world’s most successful people—including Apple CEO Steve Jobs, physicist Albert Einstein, and real estate developer Donald Trump—have said that they wouldn’t be where they are today without following their intuitive hunches. Every new discovery is made with the power of the intuitive hunch.

Intuition is just as much a part of you as your other five senses, but it operates outside the limits of your physical body and reaches into another reality, one that is nonlocal. Nonlocal reality is comprised of events that are occurring without a relationship to where you are in your direct physicality. For example, you might know something has happened to your child at school, but you’re not there physically when it occurs. You don’t know how you know little Bobby was hurt but you just do. When I do a reading I reach out into that reality that is not my own, nonlocal to me, to source information about the person I’m serving. I might clearly see that your father has just passed and that you’ve just put your house on the market. This is where intuition reaches.

Intuition involves a greater way knowing that you cannot simply explain through logic. It’s like tuning into a stream of information that includes emotions, experiences, other peoples’ memories. Your sixth sense comes to you through hunches as well as more dramatic experiences like precognitions. For example, you may have a sense that someone is going to call only to have the phone ring a few minutes later. You may meet a person you instantly don’t trust. Or you may have a dream only to have it play out in your life a few days later.

If you’ve read Remembering the Future or have listened to my radio show on HayHouseRadio.com, you might recall my example of Soul FM and Ego FM. Think of intuition as Soul FM, a radio station that’s sending out details about everything around you—all that’s happening, is happening, and will (or potentially could) happen. Ego FM is the station that only broadcasts from your “Me Bubble.” The “ Me Bubble” is the term I use for the limited environment that comprises your identity, personal memories and physical awareness. Intuition senses the world beyond those limitations.

Are you tuned into all six senses or just the five? If you’re listening to Ego FM, you’re going to only experience what’s in your head, the intellect, and the five senses. Frankly, this station is limiting and the songs get kind of repetitive and boring. Soul FM is a station that’s connected to everything. The radio waves of Soul FM are vast; they include you and go beyond you to All That Is.

We all have our own special Soul FM station and receive the information in different ways. To tune into Soul FM, you have to turn down Ego FM and quiet the committee in your head. Then you must simply let yourself be and you’ll find your radio dials. One is clairsentience, which means that you feel and sense emotional intuitive hits. Then on the second dial is clairaudience, which means you hear your intuitive information as voices, names, and so on. On the third dial is clairvoyance, meaning that you see your intuition like a movie in your head. Then on the fourth dial, you have clair-cognizance which means you just “ know” something without previous exposure to the subject.  The fifth is retro-cognition, which enables you to know things about a person or place’s past. We all have each of these abilities, but each of us has a unique, sensitive radio.

In the coming weeks, I’m going to talk more about recovering intuition. I’ll share some of the vital keys for tuning into Soul FM and teach you some of my most powerful exercises and tips. So, be sure to check back!

To help you get started with experiencing your intuition, here is one of my favorite exercises.

Exercise: A Truth and a Lie

This exercise will help you know what your intuition feels like. Intuition feels different for everyone, but it will always feel like the truth. It will feel real, solid, grounded, and in the moment. People often ask me how to tell the difference between intuition and wishful thinking or the ego. Well, wishful thinking will feel like a lie. So, in this exercise, you’re going to tell yourself a truth and a lie.

To start off, take a deep breath and get centered. Now, tell yourself a lie. Here are some examples: My name is Yoda. (I’m assuming no one reading this is named Yoda!) Or, I just won an Olympic medal. (Unless you really do have one!) Or, I love onions. (When you hate onions.) Now scan your body from top to bottom and sense how you feel. Take a few notes on your impressions.

Take another breath and get centered again. Now, tell yourself a truth. Here are some examples: My name is__________. My favorite hobby is_________. I love________. Scan your body from top to bottom again and note how you feel. Write down your impressions again for what the truth feels like.

Your intuition will feel like truth. Wishful thinking and your ego will feel like a lie.

This is a powerful exercise, and you should make a conscious effort to really go through your day and use this when you are talking to people. Note how you feel when you’ve just spoken the truth and how empowering it is. Now note how you feel when you’ve told someone a lie (even a little white one), and take note of how that feels. It takes effort to lie. I want you to really pay attention to this and how you feel. Do it for a few days if you can. Really pay attention. Once you’ve tuned into the feeling of truth and lying, you become more sensitive to it. And when you’re more sensitive to that sense, the sixth sense, you’ll see how much more effective your truth or lie radar becomes. You may not know why, but your intuition will be super strong, and like the people first mentioned in this article, you’ll be right on the money. Every time.

Love,

Colette

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The first time I saw anybody meditating, I was in my late teens. It was at the Vedanta Society Temple in Hollywood, a lovely if tiny refuge from the excesses of that city located, bizarrely, by the Hollywood Freeway, on which eight lanes of cars zipped by, day and night. Yet inside there was a profound stillness. There resident monks would meditate before evening talks or Sunday morning lectures. Although I had no concept what they were doing, I tried to emulate that stillness – outer and inner.

Since then, I’ve not only become somebody who meditates regularly, I often recommend it to friends and private clients. While there is no zodiac sign that could be said to favour meditation, the individual chart reveals an inclination for it. Doing meditation is by no means a requirement for an astrologer. For this one, however, it’s both a need, especially when life is trying or deadlines are pressing, and it is a source of increasing pleasure.

Yet frequently, the mere mention of meditation triggers a response that’s the reverse of the calm centredness it’s meant to engender. The most frequent remark is a concerned, “I couldn’t empty my mind.” Which makes me think that while the practice is rewarding in countless ways, meditation itself has a bit of an image problem. It’s seen as worthwhile – but beyond the reach of ordinary mortals, particularly those with untamed thoughts.

While it’s true that over time meditation begins to quiet the inner chatter that keeps so many awake at night and feeling jangled during the day, that isn’t its purpose. It’s about aligning with the Ultimate Stillness and, with that, discovering a strong, resilient core that remains solid whatever challenges life doles out. And the great news is, there are all kinds of ways to do it – all kinds of meditation.

Put simply, meditation is defined as a state of relaxed attention. This occurs naturally when we’re lost in a particular activity, from gardening to playing music or even when cooking. These aren’t about emptying the mind. It’s about calming it. Effortless focus. It’s like the difference between a calm ocean and a stormy one, with furiously lashing waves.

When it comes to doing it, the range of techniques is huge. There’s focusing on the breath, concentrating on an object, a candle perhaps, or a sacred image, or perhaps chanting, silently or aloud. Most religions have some variety of beads, so prayers can be repeated without actually counting them, thus creating a meditative state. And there are lots of teachers offering techniques, some religious, some distinctly not.

In every case, the objective is achieving a stillness so powerful that it alters even life’s greatest challenges. The worry and angst are replaced by a still power that reduces the size of those challenges. At first, temporarily. The benefits of meditation are cumulative. The more it’s done, the longer those blissful feelings last, and the easier it is to recall them even when not actually officially meditating. Over the years I’ve learned to access that state in a taxi – and sometimes even when I’m in the midst of urban chaos.

Not only is there no single way to meditate, the way that suits a single individual can change as their life evolves. While some involves sitting, others are done walking. And many religious communities encourage meditation while cooking meals.

Whatever the method or teacher, the benefits are the same. First and foremost, calm. Serenity when actually doing it, and a wonderful after effect, one that lasts longer the more it’s done. There’s stress reduction and lower blood pressure (in fact, according to tests done by TM, Transcendental Meditation, meditators age more slowly than those who don’t). Sleep comes more swiftly and is deeper and more nourishing.

Like so many of life’s greatest joys, from sex to Haagan Dasz Ice Cream, experiencing it is infinitely better than describing it. You don’t need a teacher to try it. Next time you’re driving yourself crazy, instead of worrying more about what you think is the source of your problems, choose to turn your attention to something else. That simple choice is the beginning of altering your state. Anything will do – a flower, the sun, the moon, a cloud. Dwell gently on it and sense the stillness that comes as the mental storm is calmed.
There. You’ve done it. Meditation.

Does the idea of communicating with your loved one involve idle chit chat while gazing at the T.V.? Are you struggling with conflict and disagreements with your partner?

Good communication is essential to having a loving, harmonious relationship. But, most of us were never really taught the art of relationship dialogue. Sure, we read magazine articles about finding the right moment to express our needs and how we need to learn how to compromise, etc. We try to keep trying to get them to hear our point of view and then get frustrated when our partner doesn’t seem interested. Or… there’s another argument with raised voices. Yikes! Then we wonder why our relationships aren’t perfect like they are in the movies.

Today I’m going to give you relationship communication techniques that work! I discovered these strategies many years ago while studying the work of Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. Many of you have heard me recommend his books Getting the Love You Want and Keeping the Love You Find, and his work has truly had dramatic impact on my own relationship.

So, take a deep breath and have hope. You can reinvent your communication style and dramatically improve your relationship as a result.

Dialogue is our primary means of relating. You never really understand someone else’s internal reality until they tell you, just as they don’t really know your reality until you share it with them. Without good dialogue, you’re essentially relating to your version of their reality and thus yourself—not them. When you’re relating to yourself, you’re bringing all that extra “stuff” to the table—preconceived notions, beliefs, old wounds, regrets, and so on. Good dialogue requires that you step back from yourself and really hear the other person. You must seek to understand, not react. Harville Hendix calls this process Intentional Dialogue and it consists of three parts—Mirroring, Validation, and Empathy. Here’s how it works:

Step 1:

Mirroring is the process of reflecting back to your partner to reassure them that you heard exactly what they’ve said. You must leave out any opinion, judgment, rationalizing, and distortion. For example, let’s say Joe is mad because Suzie went on a bit of a shopping spree.

Joe:
I can’t believe you spent all that money on clothes again. You said you’d be more responsible with those credit cards. I’m so tired of always having to be the one to take care of our money. I thought we were going to save more. And it’s so disrespectful that you didn’t call me to discuss buying such an expensive dress.

Suzie:
So, if I’m hearing you accurately, you can’t believe I bought all these clothes. And when I didn’t call to tell you that I was buying this dress, you felt that I was rude and didn’t respect you. And you’re tired because you take care of our finances.”

Note that Suzie didn’t try to defend herself. Yes, the dress may have been a great buy, but she mirrored back Joe’s feeling without judgment!

Step 2:

Validation is recognizing that the other person’s experience is true for them and makes sense from their perspective. You put yourself in their shoes. Here’s what Suzie would say:

Suzie:
I see what your saying, Joe. From your point of view, we had plans to save more money, and I went out and bought new clothes. I can understand why you are angry.

Step 3:

Empathy is communicating with the other person that you understand his or her feelings and that they make sense. To take it to the next level, you can also communicate that you’re experiencing those emotions yourself.

Suzie:
I understand what you’re saying and I can imagine that my buying this dress and not calling to discuss it made you feel angry and not respected.

In any relationship, no matter how loving and harmonious, there is bound to be conflict. In fact, in a good relationship, conflict will help you grow and heal. I talked a bit about this in my recent blog on forgiveness. Practicing good dialogue in your relationships helps you and your partner reach a whole new level of intimacy, healing, and understanding. This process also works in all relationships, including with friends and family.

Exercise:

Share this process of mirroring, validation, and empathy with your loved one. Make an agreement to practice this intentional dialogue everyday. You don’t have to wait for a conflict, but can also use this process when it comes to simple conversation. For some of you it may seem or feel contrived at times, but go through with it anyway, you’ll be pleasantly surprised at the amazing results. And report back on how it’s working for you!

Love,

Colette

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Have you ever met a drop dead gorgeous person only to have all the attraction fade the minute they open their mouth? When it comes to dating, chemistry, and love, that getting-to-know you chat and flirtatious sweet nothings have impact far beyond that words being said. In fact, several studies have shown that the qualities of our voices transmit important details about attraction, health, and fertility to potential partners.

I actually knew my husband Marc was “the one” when I first heard his warm and friendly voice on the phone before meeting him in person. (We first connected on the Internet.) Hearing his voice took me intuitively to the friendliest inner sense of awareness; it was like coming home to a place I’d always wanted to go but hadn’t been to yet within myself. This inner-knowing came simply from hearing him for the first time. So, I was especially fascinated by some of these recent findings on the correlation between voice and attraction.

Studies show that listeners are able to match a voice with the correct speaker’s photograph over 75 percent of the time. And those people with symmetrical traits (a sign of genetic fitness) were rated as having more attractive voices. And, it’s no myth that good-looking men often have deep voices. A study conducted at Northumbria University in the UK recorded men speaking and had men and women rate their voices based on attractiveness, dominance, confidence, and sexiness. The listeners then looked at pictures of the men and rated them. The men with deep voices were rated higher than those with high voices. And the deep voices also corresponded to more attractive faces.

Just as women smell more attractive during ovulation (which I talked about in my last blog), it also turns out their voices are rated as more attractive when they’re most fertile! A 2008 study recorded women’s voices at four different times during their menstrual period. The women’s voices were rated as most attractive during ovulation and least attractive during menstruation. For women, voice pitch depends a lot on estrogen, which is the female hormone produced by the ovaries. So, high levels of estrogen result in higher pitched voices.

And, what about accents, speed, and inflection? Studies show that we judge fast talkers as more educated and those with varied inflection as more interesting. Pitch correlates only loosely with height, but is closely tied to hormone levels—meaning it’s a good indicator of fertility or dominance, as well as health and attractiveness.

Beyond all the science, it’s crucial that you use your intuition when it comes to dating and love. Close your eyes and listen to your partner. How does their voice make you feel? Your intuition will speak to you with in the first 30 seconds. For example, you may not like their nervous laugh, but still feel good when you hear them. Or, they may be incredibly good-looking, but their voice just doesn’t resonate with you.

Since we’re talking about voice, I’d also like to encourage you to think about sound in general and how it impacts your well-being and thus your attractiveness. What sounds make you feel GREAT about yourself? It might be sounds from nature, your favorite music, or even day-to-day sounds like cooking or kids playing. Be sure to take some time each day to enjoy sounds that make you feel amazing. And I’d love to read your comments on voice and your favorite feel-good sounds!

Love,
Colette

PS: The song you just listened to is  Breath of You from my EMI cd Magdalene’s Garden. I think it represents the feeling you get when you meet the right person and what their voice does to you.  Follow the links to our store to find the song or CD.

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