The Mirror of Love: Transform Your Relationships with Forgiveness!
Listen to MJ’s Man in the Mirror while reading this post. If you’re a woman change the lyric to woman, simple. 
What do you see when you look into the mirror of love?
Yesterday I was out doing errands around town when I looked down and noticed one of those little sweetheart candies in the parking lot near my car. Curious to see what it said, I peered down to make out the faint pink letters. It said: Soul Mate. As I was driving home, I thought about the many soul mates I’ve had in my life (including my amazing husband Marc) and what I’ve learned from all of those relationships. Even in the midst of the letdowns and struggles, my relationships have invited me to take a hard look in the mirror and to grow, heal, and forgive.
All of your relationships are a reflection of who you are and who you could be. So, if you want to improve the relationship you have or find great love, you must take a close look in the mirror and forgive.
Forgiveness is truly one of the best ways to open yourself up to more love. If you’re feeling any shame, bitterness, resentment, confusion, anger, impatience, or loneliness, those feelings exist inside of you—not in the experiences that created them. And you bring them to your present circumstances. So, if you still harbor any unresolved feelings about a previous partner, your current relationship, or even yourself, you energize the same experience over and over. To not forgive means that you’ll continue to re-feel those feelings. That’s doesn’t sound very fun, does it?
I know that you may have had painful experiences when it comes to relationships. You may have been hurt and treated unfairly and wonder how on earth you can really forgive that situation or person. But, remember that forgiveness is not about condoning someone or something. It’s about releasing yourself from repeating the same feelings over and over. Forgiveness is about YOU! And it’s one of the keys to having an amazing relationship.
Romantic relationships are ignited by your soul. They are spiritual experiences meant to help you grow and heal. All the people on your path are teachers. So, if you’re judging any relationship as failed, I’d like to invite you to look at it as a teacher and healer for your soul.
What can you learn from your past and present partners? When you look into the mirror, who were you in that relationship? How can you grow from the relationship?
Remember that time is not linear. You can go back and heal the past. You can change your perception and experience gratitude for the present. Relationships have a way of re-opening old wounds that haven’t been healed. The more we forgive, the more we raise our vibration to a more healthy and loving relationship.
A good relationship will support your growth and help your soul heal. Much as our culture loves fairy tales and romance novels, there will be challenges and times when life isn’t so rose-colored. Good conflict helps you grow. It’s also important to focus on accepting your partner the way he/she is right now rather than try to change them. Yes, you may not like the way he dresses or that she doesn’t share your hobbies, but love is about accepting someone.
If you’re single, ask yourself if you have someone to forgive. What can you learn from your experience with them? Use your intuition on this. Maybe there were red flags that you didn’t want to see. But, you can vow to keep your eyes open for red flags now and trust your instincts. And when you see all the green flags, but ‘he’s just not your type’, ask yourself, how has choosing ‘your type’ worked out for you. If that’s the case, time to really reflect to see where ‘your type’ has gotten you thus far.
In my next blog, I’ll go into some of the amazing scientific reasons why ‘your type’ is not really your type. Make sure you read it, it’ll change everything you’ve ever ‘felt’ about ‘your type’.
Also, remember to forgive yourself. You cannot change the past or change who you were in the past. Send love to the “you” who experienced that situation and recognize that you did the best you could at the time.
Download the FORGIVENESS meditation
Happy Post Valentine’s Day!!
Love,
Colette
And please use the link below to share this post with everyone you know.
(6 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading ...
Oh my…this hit direct to the heart. I am at a loss for words and ready to cry. I am going to send this to several people that I need to forgive and forgive myself in the process. Thank you.
As usual with your postings, this is very true and profound.
Speaking only for myself I would like to think I was already aware of what forgiveness really is and that I practice self forgiveness and that we need to do this daily or more often.
In reality, I often forget to forgive and even forget what it really is – in my busy life self often falls by the wayside so these little reminders are necessary and very welcome.
Thank you Collette.
Lynda O
Incredible, Colette. Thank you. Love the blog with soundtrack as well!
Excellent Colette..Am Going to send *Looking in the Mirror* to everyone i know & for those who seek answers wil become enlightened by the LOVE majik of forgiveness, Wow including myself. Thanks so much Colette
L*L*L
Genie (L)
This hit right into my heart and soul. I just ended a short lived painful relationship with someone literally a couple of hours ago. He was a soul mate, all right, one to show me the way I need to grow and listen to Spirit’s heart whispers. I thank Spirit that at least I have grown enough to end it when I did, instead of waiting longer as I used to do. Now is the time to haul out the mp3 player and listen to Forgiveness. I downloaded it from your first website a long time ago. Bless you and keep you, you are an inspiration to us all.
Love,
Barb
Forgiveness can be tricky, especially when it was not explained to you. Most people believe forgiveness does condone what a person did to you. This is why there are so many “wounded” people in the world.
This really resonated with me, “…If you’re single, ask yourself if you have someone to forgive. What can you learn from your experience with them? Use your intuition on this. Maybe there were red flags that you didn’t want to see. But, you can vow to keep your eyes open for red flags now and trust your instincts. And when you see all the green flags, but ‘he’s just not your type’, ask yourself, how has choosing ‘your type’ worked out for you. If that’s the case, time to really reflect to see where ‘your type’ has gotten you thus far.” I can relate to this. I finally healed from an experience because I allowed myself to see the “red flags.” Whew! Better late than never. I’m paying attention to the “green flags,” but I’m taking it slow.
Thank you for this post, it is one that has benefitted me and will help many, many people. ( I was also just thinking of writing a post on forgiveness!)
I have one past significant (non-romantic) relationship in particular, where I think I am still harbouring anger and resentment.
If I am totally honest, I think I am hanging onto the anger because I felt totally powerless at the time, and I think I equate my anger with power.
Now that I am feeling more authentically powerful, I would like to forgive that person, as I think I’ve spent enough years feeding something that isn’t nourishing me.
Thank you also for the incredible download on forgiveness. Your voice is so healing.
Kara
I totally agree with the TYPE cause i can say for myself , my type was the macho man with beard, they also came with a consequence those macho man also wanted to be all the woman man. So with having now a healthy relationship with trust and respect , i am so happy to have think a little outside the box and give a chance to the none my type. It came out great.
When you said ‘forgiveness’ and ‘not my type’ I thought about a guest you had on the Buddha Lounge, the Dating Expert. She was telling a story about a friend of hers wanting a guy who was a number 15 on a scale of 1-10 and her friend was a number 6 or 7. I was thinking that you have to ‘be’ want you want and how can be attract that if we haven’t healed ourself and adjust ourselves to be the most spiritual person we can be?! Great article.
Leave your response!
Tao Quotes
Guest authors:
Archives
Daily Stars with Shelley von Strunckel
www.shelleyvonstrunckel.comNo Aries is happy about being cornered into doing anything. But the circumstances triggered by your ruler Mars' encounter with the fair but tough Saturn indicate exactly that. Battle these if you must. Ultimately, however, you'll realise that tedious as these seem, tacking them would be in your best interests. By Shelley von Strunckel
Obviously you're unhappy that others are making decisions that should be yours to deal with. And this is especially true now, since these are bringing changes as disruptive as they'd be unnecessary. Or so you think. Discuss this with the person in question. Their reasoning is likely to win you over. By Shelley von Strunckel
The secret to getting through the next few days successfully is to regard even the simplest of arrangements as but one stage in many. That way when the unsettling and often unexpected developments triggered by the current rather intense planetary activity take place, you'll make whatever adjustments are needed, and without any dramas. By Shelley von Strunckel
If you're worried about something or someone, you'll usually reflect on past experience until you feel you understand what you're facing. However, with so much in transition, such a review will only confuse matters. Instead, discuss concerns openly with others. Daunting as this seems initially, what you learn could revolutionise your outlook. By Shelley von Strunckel
With both Saturn and, as of now, the impatient Mars accenting your perspective on various crucial decisions, you could rush into things. The trick is to react swiftly but make no arrangements you can't reorganise. What you discover over the coming weeks could be surprising, enough to substantially alter your thinking and priorities. By Shelley von Strunckel
Now that both Saturn and, as of yesterday, Mars, have departed your sign, you get a break. This is a relief, but you won't entirely escape this period of dramatic change. Rather, you'll no longer feel you're responsible for holding everything together, as you have for most of the past three years. By Shelley von Strunckel
As a Libra you often agonise over decisions. This is particularly the case now, because situations are pressing and you're conscious that what you opt for will profoundly influence others. Still, your priority must be you. Discuss this if you must, but only to explain your thinking. Not to obtain anybody's approval. By Shelley von Strunckel
When there's anything you regard as unwise or simply don't want to do, you'll find a diplomatic yet firm way to avoid it. Often without those involved realising they've been refused. Now, however, you're urged to talk this through. Only once you do, will you recognise just how much you'd be missing. By Shelley von Strunckel
Occasionally you'll gloss over tedious details because you expect others to be as bored with them as you are. On the contrary, not only are certain individuals actually interested in these, allow them to take the lead and they'll offer invaluable insights and guidance about how you should be handling such matters. By Shelley von Strunckel
Inevitably, your ruler Saturn's recent move into the gracious Libra will make you even more conscious than usual about the need to handle sensitive situations diplomatically. Still, with things so urgent at the moment, you'll probably have to employ a firm hand when it comes to planning, but combine it with a gentle touch. By Shelley von Strunckel
Sometimes it's not until others challenge your views that you actually stop to think them through. This certainly appears to be the case now. Annoying as a few of the issues being raised seem, they're forcing you to examine what's behind certain ideals and objectives. And just when such a process is timely. By Shelley von Strunckel
You're about to go to battle over an issue that simply isn't as important as it once was. But you resist acknowledging that things have changed. Do so and you'll not only liberate yourself from a tedious and increasingly time-consuming drama, you'll be free for other, far more rewarding, pursuits. By Shelley von Strunckel
© 2009 Shelley von Strunckel
Recent Posts
Most Commented
Most Viewed