The Mirror of Love: Transform Your Relationships with Forgiveness!
Listen to MJ’s Man in the Mirror while reading this post. If you’re a woman change the lyric to woman, simple. 
What do you see when you look into the mirror of love?
Yesterday I was out doing errands around town when I looked down and noticed one of those little sweetheart candies in the parking lot near my car. Curious to see what it said, I peered down to make out the faint pink letters. It said: Soul Mate. As I was driving home, I thought about the many soul mates I’ve had in my life (including my amazing husband Marc) and what I’ve learned from all of those relationships. Even in the midst of the letdowns and struggles, my relationships have invited me to take a hard look in the mirror and to grow, heal, and forgive.
All of your relationships are a reflection of who you are and who you could be. So, if you want to improve the relationship you have or find great love, you must take a close look in the mirror and forgive.
Forgiveness is truly one of the best ways to open yourself up to more love. If you’re feeling any shame, bitterness, resentment, confusion, anger, impatience, or loneliness, those feelings exist inside of you—not in the experiences that created them. And you bring them to your present circumstances. So, if you still harbor any unresolved feelings about a previous partner, your current relationship, or even yourself, you energize the same experience over and over. To not forgive means that you’ll continue to re-feel those feelings. That’s doesn’t sound very fun, does it?
I know that you may have had painful experiences when it comes to relationships. You may have been hurt and treated unfairly and wonder how on earth you can really forgive that situation or person. But, remember that forgiveness is not about condoning someone or something. It’s about releasing yourself from repeating the same feelings over and over. Forgiveness is about YOU! And it’s one of the keys to having an amazing relationship.
Romantic relationships are ignited by your soul. They are spiritual experiences meant to help you grow and heal. All the people on your path are teachers. So, if you’re judging any relationship as failed, I’d like to invite you to look at it as a teacher and healer for your soul.
What can you learn from your past and present partners? When you look into the mirror, who were you in that relationship? How can you grow from the relationship?
Remember that time is not linear. You can go back and heal the past. You can change your perception and experience gratitude for the present. Relationships have a way of re-opening old wounds that haven’t been healed. The more we forgive, the more we raise our vibration to a more healthy and loving relationship.
A good relationship will support your growth and help your soul heal. Much as our culture loves fairy tales and romance novels, there will be challenges and times when life isn’t so rose-colored. Good conflict helps you grow. It’s also important to focus on accepting your partner the way he/she is right now rather than try to change them. Yes, you may not like the way he dresses or that she doesn’t share your hobbies, but love is about accepting someone.
If you’re single, ask yourself if you have someone to forgive. What can you learn from your experience with them? Use your intuition on this. Maybe there were red flags that you didn’t want to see. But, you can vow to keep your eyes open for red flags now and trust your instincts. And when you see all the green flags, but ‘he’s just not your type’, ask yourself, how has choosing ‘your type’ worked out for you. If that’s the case, time to really reflect to see where ‘your type’ has gotten you thus far.
In my next blog, I’ll go into some of the amazing scientific reasons why ‘your type’ is not really your type. Make sure you read it, it’ll change everything you’ve ever ‘felt’ about ‘your type’.
Also, remember to forgive yourself. You cannot change the past or change who you were in the past. Send love to the “you” who experienced that situation and recognize that you did the best you could at the time.
Download the FORGIVENESS meditation
Happy Post Valentine’s Day!!
Love,
Colette
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Oh my…this hit direct to the heart. I am at a loss for words and ready to cry. I am going to send this to several people that I need to forgive and forgive myself in the process. Thank you.
As usual with your postings, this is very true and profound.
Speaking only for myself I would like to think I was already aware of what forgiveness really is and that I practice self forgiveness and that we need to do this daily or more often.
In reality, I often forget to forgive and even forget what it really is – in my busy life self often falls by the wayside so these little reminders are necessary and very welcome.
Thank you Collette.
Lynda O
Incredible, Colette. Thank you. Love the blog with soundtrack as well!
Excellent Colette..Am Going to send *Looking in the Mirror* to everyone i know & for those who seek answers wil become enlightened by the LOVE majik of forgiveness, Wow including myself. Thanks so much Colette
L*L*L
Genie (L)
This hit right into my heart and soul. I just ended a short lived painful relationship with someone literally a couple of hours ago. He was a soul mate, all right, one to show me the way I need to grow and listen to Spirit’s heart whispers. I thank Spirit that at least I have grown enough to end it when I did, instead of waiting longer as I used to do. Now is the time to haul out the mp3 player and listen to Forgiveness. I downloaded it from your first website a long time ago. Bless you and keep you, you are an inspiration to us all.
Love,
Barb
Forgiveness can be tricky, especially when it was not explained to you. Most people believe forgiveness does condone what a person did to you. This is why there are so many “wounded” people in the world.
This really resonated with me, “…If you’re single, ask yourself if you have someone to forgive. What can you learn from your experience with them? Use your intuition on this. Maybe there were red flags that you didn’t want to see. But, you can vow to keep your eyes open for red flags now and trust your instincts. And when you see all the green flags, but ‘he’s just not your type’, ask yourself, how has choosing ‘your type’ worked out for you. If that’s the case, time to really reflect to see where ‘your type’ has gotten you thus far.” I can relate to this. I finally healed from an experience because I allowed myself to see the “red flags.” Whew! Better late than never. I’m paying attention to the “green flags,” but I’m taking it slow.
Thank you for this post, it is one that has benefitted me and will help many, many people. ( I was also just thinking of writing a post on forgiveness!)
I have one past significant (non-romantic) relationship in particular, where I think I am still harbouring anger and resentment.
If I am totally honest, I think I am hanging onto the anger because I felt totally powerless at the time, and I think I equate my anger with power.
Now that I am feeling more authentically powerful, I would like to forgive that person, as I think I’ve spent enough years feeding something that isn’t nourishing me.
Thank you also for the incredible download on forgiveness. Your voice is so healing.
Kara
I totally agree with the TYPE cause i can say for myself , my type was the macho man with beard, they also came with a consequence those macho man also wanted to be all the woman man. So with having now a healthy relationship with trust and respect , i am so happy to have think a little outside the box and give a chance to the none my type. It came out great.
When you said ‘forgiveness’ and ‘not my type’ I thought about a guest you had on the Buddha Lounge, the Dating Expert. She was telling a story about a friend of hers wanting a guy who was a number 15 on a scale of 1-10 and her friend was a number 6 or 7. I was thinking that you have to ‘be’ want you want and how can be attract that if we haven’t healed ourself and adjust ourselves to be the most spiritual person we can be?! Great article.
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