Take the Kindness Challenge: Rise Above Drama and Step into Your Power!
How do you react when you someone is rude to you? Do you get angry, picture yourself plunking them over the head, and then let it eat away at you? Or do you respond with detachment and perhaps even compassion?
I was recently at an event where I ran into someone I was excited to finally meet in person. I walked up to this person and introduced myself, but he didn’t share my excitement; in fact, he snubbed me! In that instant, I was hurt and taken aback. Isn’t it funny how your wounded ego can grab a hold of a seemingly small incident and start screaming with frustration, anger, and pain? After a few moments, I quieted my little Goblin and remembered that I really had no idea what was going on in this person’s life at that moment. I could make a conscious choice to detach from the experience and just have compassion. In fact, just before the event, I’d actually planned to do this blog on showing kindness and having compassion. Talk about a synchronicity!
If you want to rise above the dramas of life and step into your power, you must show kindness and have compassion for the world around you…even when someone triggers you. Have you ever had the experience of someone lashing out at you and then held onto your anger for days? We all have… but it doesn’t serve us. When we get wrapped up in “low” emotions like anger, judgment, or unworthiness, we actually dim our light, disconnect with our intuition, and step off our highest paths. The more you react, the more you remain attached to the situation and asleep at the wheel of your life! And then you’re not even being kind to yourself!
So what about the people who are just plain mean? The ones who seem to deserve a plunk over the head? Remember that we all have wounded egos; people who are unkind are mostly acting out of their own fears and shadows. When you remind yourself of that, you can have compassion and detach from the situation. Of course, I’m not saying we should go hug a stranger who speaks to us rudely. But, rather than get fired up with anger, we do have the power to look at them in a different light. We can then be firm and calm and walk away.
Of course, the importance of kindness and compassion extends well beyond the people who trigger us. The more we hold kindness and compassion in our hearts and integrate them into the complexity and stresses of daily life, the more we connect with Spirit and pave the way to a better future for both ourselves and the world. As I’ve said in Remembering the Future, we’re all connected. Kindness from one of us reverberates through the world. Kindness includes smiling and saying hello to a stranger, saying thank you, and showing reverence and respect for our environment. With compassion, rather than kill the bug on your kitchen floor, we bring him outside. And, of course, kindness also includes respecting, honoring, and loving yourself.
Ultimately, when we approach life with kindness and compassion, we do our part to create a world where kindness is never a random act, but a way of life. Imagine what such a world would be like!
Exercise:
Do a kindness challenge! Commit to living from a place of kindness and compassion for the next week, no matter what.
When someone is rude, choose to raise your consciousness, react with kindness, and detach. If a lizard gets stuck in your bathtub, bring him outside. Pick up the empty can on the sidewalk. And, take initiative to bring kindness to others. Smile at those you pass by on the street. Make cookies for your neighbor. Send a thank you note. Likewise, practice compassion for yourself. Each day, ask yourself what you can do to be kind to YOU. Use your intuition. Perhaps you need to get outside, do affirmations, or have some more fun.
Here is a FORGIVENESS meditation you can try. If you’d like to purchase it, visit this link.
I’d love to read your thoughts. What do kindness and compassion mean to you? Please share your stories!
In service and love,
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It is so important. The best thing about it is that you can walk away without any regrets, because if we are unkind back to mean people, then it will only continue to hurt us. Remaining kind keeps our spirit free. Great article Colette, very well said.
Engaging the observer within us always reveals compassion — not only to others, but to ourselves. Love this article; thanks for sharing your wisdom with us.
Talk about synchronicity. I’ve spent most of day reminding myself how important it is to show compassion to those who hurt us and make us feel undeserving, reading helpful material to help me get over my frustrations. And here is the big “BUT” – what about when those that make you angry and hurt are those closest to you, in my case my children. They seem to be oblivious of the fact that their actions are hurtful to me. They seem to think that they can walk all over me because I believe in compassion and forgiveness, and when I do get angry over this, they remind me that I am not practicing what I preach. I am struggling with where I need to set boundaries when it comes to my children. I feel like it comes so much easier with strangers and friends.
Boy, is this something I’ve needed to practice lately at work. I have a boss who dumps his anxiety on everyone around him. He whines and complains daily and only talks about himself. It is difficult and yet I know I’m in the situation to learn how to handle people like that, instead of being triggered by them. I have just recently had an opportunity to practice detaching from the situation and not fearing the consequences. Whatever happens, happens but I will not hold on to anger with people like that – otherwise I’d be angry all the time. I know this person showed up in my life for a reason and I’m learning from it.
This is timely!
Thanks for sharing your life with us.
With Love,
Brandie
You are such an angel! I just had this experience yesterday with my own sister. Your blog just took me to a different level. I did take the high road and still loved her with compassion, If I retaliated and called her names it only lowers my spirit. I had to ask myself, when you are called a whole bunch of bad names, especially in front of a crowd? (and most laughed at me.) How to re-act? Then I realized that it was my ego being bruised and I didn’t want others to think of me that way. What to do? Self talk? Peoples minds can always be changed, even if there is a bad seed planted on your reputation.
Thank you for the insight!!
Wise information. Life’s too short to allow others to take away our power and joy. It’s not easy (believe me, I know), but I taking a deep breath or sending a person love/joy is better than holding onto the anger.
I am grateful for this blog! But one question? What if a mosquito bites you and you smack it? I do let the bugs out of my house, and I teach my kids to do the same thing. Its just the reaction of getting bit.
Love the forgiveness meditation, brought me to tears.
I had silver butterflies cutting the cords.
Very generous of you to include that Colette!
Thank you
This is so timely. I recently had a communication with my ex in which he attacked my character. Instead of lashing out, I detached myself from his anger and chose not to absorb it. Because I did not react he repeated his comment and I repeated my response which was very neutral. It did hurt my feelings but I have chosen to view the situation with compassion. It’s not my usual way of responding, but by not adding fuel to the fire I felt good about myself and I did not allow the situation to escalate into a fight. This article was a signpost of confirmation to continue to deal with a challenging situation with love. Thanks Colette
I have been going thru some old baggage lately sorting it out. Instead of feeling better, I was still feeling lost. After reading this I did the forgiveness meditation and was shocked at the line of people I was still holding on to. I felt the tears of release come dripping down my face. After the meditation I felt peace. Now I will go on and do some more for even more peace. Thank you Colette:)
thank you just seems inadequate for all you do, including this wonderful meditation. I felt emotions washing through me as it progressed.
My finances are limited at the moment and so your generosity in all you share is much appreciated.
Namaste
Yetta
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