The Art of Surrender: Stop the Struggle and Co-Create with Spirit!!
Updated: November 10, 2010
You may be thinking, “But Colette, what if I really really want it with all my heart?” Maybe you’re in a relationship that you really want to work, but things just haven’t come together. Or perhaps you’ve been pursuing a career path that you’re determined is best for you, yet it’s not moving forward. It may even be that your efforts to change or avoid a difficult situation aren’t working.
Most of us have had the experience of wanting something so badly, we’d do almost anything to have it or make it happen. Determination is after all one of the most important keys to success in any area of your life. Yet, what happens when you keep trying to make something happen but it’s just not falling into place?
When we resist or try to control an outcome in our lives, we create more of what we resist. As we push harder, we become stressed out, exhausted, and emotional. All that wasted energy just feeds our Goblins, the wounded ego we all have that tries to keep us focused on separation, abandonment, anger, and so on. There’s the missed sleep, the blaming self-talk that comes from feeling stuck, and the worry that takes up valuable space in our minds. With resistance, we disconnect from our intuition and Spirit, as well as from the present, which is where all of our power is. In the end, resisting stops us from moving on by keeping us trapped inside emotional pain and longing.
Surrendering involves doing what you can and then letting go to let Spirit lead the way. As much as you might try to be general manager of the universe, you aren’t; ultimately, you’re a spark of something greater and your self-will alone cannot just make things happen. If we want to live authentic and purposeful lives, we have to co-create with the Divine, which has the true power. We must do our part and then get out of the way so Spirit can work the magic. We must trust in Spirit’s plan for us, which is only revealed in Divine appropriate timing. And we must accept life on life’s terms, allow things to be as they are, and see the greater value in whatever we’re resisting. When things don’t happen as we want, they’re usually being withheld for a reason. For example, losing a job could be a push from the Divine to finally listen to your intuition and start your own business. The end of a relationship may be making space for something better. A difficult situation often opens our eyes to strength we didn’t know we had.
I’ve often said that I haven’t let go of anything that doesn’t already have my claw marks all over it. I’m the first to admit I’m a bit of a recovered control freak who used to try to map out exactly how things we’re “supposed” to unfold in my life. As I talk about in my books Remembering the Future and Messages From Spirit, I was dead set on how I thought all the areas of my life should unfold, from my relationships to my career. When I finally surrendered in each area and trusted Divine guidance, my desires were paradoxically fulfilled for the highest good. I ended up with a career that I love, a relationship that is beyond my wildest dreams, and have experienced more than I ever imagined by letting go.
So often we put off surrendering until it’s a last resort, as if it’s something negative that we’re forced to do when there’s no other option. Yet, surrendering isn’t about giving up or relinquishing your power. It’s about aligning with all that is in your highest good as well as the highest good of the universe. Surrendering gives you freedom to respond to life rather than live through reaction.
Remember, when you do what you can, then let go and trust in the inherent goodness of the Universe, you have the most power to experience more joy, purpose, and happiness.
What might you need to surrender? Perhaps whether or not you meet that amazing partner, a job search, whether or not someone likes or loves you, worry about your adult daughter’s spending habits, the outcome of a relationship, or whether or not you land a new client. Once you’ve done what you can, it’s time to let it go.
Create a God Box or Jar: Hand all your attachments over to the Divine. If you don’t already have a God Box or Jar, find a simple shoe box or empty jar. (You might even want to decorate it!) Then, write down all the worries, fears, concerns, and anything you’re trying to control on pieces of paper. Fold each paper up and then as you put each in the box or jar, acknowledge you’re handing it over to Spirit. You might say something like: “I can’t, He can, so I’ll let Him.” Or, you might name each thing you’re letting go of and pray to Spirit for assistance.
Meditate: Even ten minutes of meditation a day helps quiet our mind and focus on the present. And, if you find yourself starting to resist or worry again, stop the thought process and count your breath for a few minutes.
And, please share your experiences and advice on surrendering. Remember, we all learn from one another.
In service and love,
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