Myth: Control Will Help You Escape Stormy Fields and Sticky Swamps!


Updated: October 25, 2012


As many of you already know from reading my archetypal work in The Map, we can feel trapped in the chaos of Stormy Fields when someone’s action (or inaction) makes us feel powerless and angry.  The powerlessness of the Storm Fields, as with the Sticky Swamp, is when nature is taking its course and we feel we have absolutely no control over the life experience.  In fact a lot of people are feeling this way right now due to circumstances with their relationships, finances, careers and family dynamics.

To compensate for feeling powerless, our tendency is to try to get control in any area of our lives.  For instance, when we feel like our finances are out of our control, we may try to exert power in other areas of our lives.   We can become very harsh and very brutal as a result of needing power over someone or something.  In our minds we take the position of pulling up our bootstraps and taking control wherever possible.

It’s during these challenging times that we can often wake up our self-sabotager, our Goblin.  Our lack of control over a particular circumstances can release the inner messages of we are failing so we find ourselves fighting for and defending ourselves against anything and everything.

The best tool for changing your landscape is Compassion:  compassion for others and compassion for yourself.  Once we recognize that everyone suffers and we’re not alone in those feelings, we realize we don’t want to cause anymore suffering to others.

We need to engage in Radical Forgiveness.  This is when we recognize and fully accept that an event has occurred and we make a commitment not to cause any more harm.  The only way we can do that is if we can detach ourselves from the actual experience rather than be in a reactive state.  When we get caught in the Sticky Swamp or the Storm Fields we become reactive; that’s human nature.

Self-care has to come first.   When we don’t like ourselves because of our weaknesses, it makes it difficult to find compassion for others. When we make matters worse by refusing to see our part in things, our denial of our own culpability and our insistence on being right makes it impossible to keep our hearts open. Once we recognize that we all have a shadow and that shadow engages itself in stressful circumstances, then we can say, “Okay, I need to respond by starting with myself first.”  Only then will promising to do no harm become automatic.

Have you ever found yourself having a short fuse with people completely unrelated to a challenge you are having in another area of your life?  What did you learn from that experience?  What are you doing differently now?  Please share your comments below.

In service and love,
Colette Baron-Reid

Showing 6 comments
  • christy

    When I find myself having a short fuse with someone else, and the irritant is really my own perspective on the subject, and not something they are doing. I try to move to my own space and work it out as best I can what exactly – or how exactly a- am I seeing this, and what feelings are being awakened in me about it… am I sad, hurt, fearful, angry and why? Do I feel powerless about it and feel like they have some ability to withhold the feelings that I want to experience? i.e. – Do I think they can do something that will keep me from being happy? or feeling loving toward them? Then when I have worked out my own connection to the love that we both really are – and come from – I go and talk with them in a way that owns my feelings about the situation. I then feel safe and secure within myself enough to allow the intimacy of the conversation about what I am feeling and my perception of those feelings. 🙂

    • Colette Baron-Reid

      This is great, similar to IN-Vizion where we ask ” Where Am I?” , see the environment of thoughts feelings and beliefs as a place you inhabit, detach and give yourself distance and choose somewhere new to travel to. You are 100% right its all about perception …

  • Lisa Savauge

    Dear Colette,
    I am thankful I have a little goblin. I look at him as an important part of my inner work. He grows bigger when I my ego feels threatened, humiliated, and just when I get my feelings hurt. My goblin is evolving . He takes longer to get activated and has become more resourceful when dealing with emotionally charged situations. I give him unconditional love,compassion, acceptance and the most important thing, forgiveness. When I take time to let things vent then settle without action the situation usually takes a turn for the positive. We(goblin,ego,little girl warrior woman etc.) are challenging ourselves everyday to alter the thoughts, words and actions we use. I have found the others around us are beginning to do the same. Turning the negative energy into a creative, prosperous magic is just beginning for me and I look forward to continuous growth with this shift of consciousness. Addiction and depression seems to be our greatest concern, so slowly we(I) are embracing the dark instead of fighting it. Thank you for your light. It reached out to me last Nov. and it brought me to Jean Tweed. It was an enlightening experience. Love, Light, Freedom and Blessings:)
    Lisa Savauge:)

    • Colette Baron-Reid

      I celebrate you Lisa- Jean Tweed saved my life and every day I am grateful. Remember one day at a time, we live in the miracle and the grace one day at a time.
      big big blessings to you Lisa xooxoxoo,
      LOve, Colette

  • Paulo

    “Have you ever found yourself having a short fuse with people completely unrelated to a challenge you are having in another area of your life?”

    I’m not sure if this is the same thing but often when I try to organise events via email with friends and they don’t respond for a day or two I wind up feeling frustrated and powerless. I become more harsh in my emails and try to cut off from the emotions. I believe that these actions will help my desired outcome to manifest but this is never the case and end up feeling like I’m too ‘pushy’; I hate it. I suppose that’s why I’ve put off entering another intimate relationship for so long; because I will just end up destroying it with my controlling tendencies – yuk!

    I have yet to break this habit….

  • Travon

    How could any of this be better stated? It cuoldn’t.

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