Myth: Control Will Help You Escape Stormy Fields and Sticky Swamps!
Updated: October 25, 2012
As many of you already know from reading my archetypal work in The Map, we can feel trapped in the chaos of Stormy Fields when someone’s action (or inaction) makes us feel powerless and angry. The powerlessness of the Storm Fields, as with the Sticky Swamp, is when nature is taking its course and we feel we have absolutely no control over the life experience. In fact a lot of people are feeling this way right now due to circumstances with their relationships, finances, careers and family dynamics.
To compensate for feeling powerless, our tendency is to try to get control in any area of our lives. For instance, when we feel like our finances are out of our control, we may try to exert power in other areas of our lives. We can become very harsh and very brutal as a result of needing power over someone or something. In our minds we take the position of pulling up our bootstraps and taking control wherever possible.
It’s during these challenging times that we can often wake up our self-sabotager, our Goblin. Our lack of control over a particular circumstances can release the inner messages of we are failing so we find ourselves fighting for and defending ourselves against anything and everything.
The best tool for changing your landscape is Compassion: compassion for others and compassion for yourself. Once we recognize that everyone suffers and we’re not alone in those feelings, we realize we don’t want to cause anymore suffering to others.
We need to engage in Radical Forgiveness. This is when we recognize and fully accept that an event has occurred and we make a commitment not to cause any more harm. The only way we can do that is if we can detach ourselves from the actual experience rather than be in a reactive state. When we get caught in the Sticky Swamp or the Storm Fields we become reactive; that’s human nature.
Self-care has to come first. When we don’t like ourselves because of our weaknesses, it makes it difficult to find compassion for others. When we make matters worse by refusing to see our part in things, our denial of our own culpability and our insistence on being right makes it impossible to keep our hearts open. Once we recognize that we all have a shadow and that shadow engages itself in stressful circumstances, then we can say, “Okay, I need to respond by starting with myself first.” Only then will promising to do no harm become automatic.
Have you ever found yourself having a short fuse with people completely unrelated to a challenge you are having in another area of your life? What did you learn from that experience? What are you doing differently now? Please share your comments below.
In service and love,