Fear of Success is a Weighty Issue!

Updated: May 28, 2013

Dear Colette,

I am on the verge of self-publishing my spiritual memoir, and I saw my extra weight as me carrying my unfulfilled life purpose on my body, but also carrying spiritual light in my body.  You speak about carrying the weight of the world on our bodies so I thought you might have some insights as to what is making me put on these extra pounds, without eating more or exercising less.  – Heavy Burden

Dear Heavy Burden,

Many times our fear of success will also create a need to pad ourselves with protection. Exposing ourselves to the public with our ideas can be a daunting thing.  I’ve seen it with some of my clients where they’re about to launch a project and they start putting on a lot of weight, and when we delve into our coach/client conversation we find out that at the basis of that they’re trying to be seen by the public but they’re afraid to be really seen so their body becomes larger. They feel that they’ve never been heard and this is the first time their words will be heard and so instead of just being the bright light that shines out into the world their bodies grow instead. So they say ‘see, you can’t miss me, look how big I am.’ 

Also the idea of somebody carrying spiritual light could also be the idea that we can’t always contain our new growth and it’s almost like we grown faster, we grow spiritually faster than our bodies can keep up. This is strictly theory but from what I’ve seen in other people, it is not uncommon that these confusing periods of weight gain happen prior to becoming noticed by the public. 

So your weight gain can be either one or the other, or both:  (1) to make yourself noticeable but in a way that you don’t want to be noticed, and (2) the weight gain is a result of the stress of protecting yourself from the possibility of failure or success. You’re afraid that people will actually hear you and listen to you—which would be new—and there’s also the idea that you could possibly be somehow rejected (that there will be no success).

I am wishing you not only success, but also the enjoyment of success absent of fear.

Love and blessings,
Colette Baron-Reid
Intuitive Counsellor

If you have a question you would like to ask Colette, write to her at AskColette@ColetteBaronReid.comAll published questions and answers will be anonymous – we honor and protect your privacy. (Please, Colette respectfully asks that you do not request a reading as the anticipated response to your question.)

Showing 11 comments
  • Trisha

    Very well said!

  • Dear Colette,

    I can relate to what is being said above, about how u can feel the extra weight being part of ur soul’s unfulfilled purpose, & with it also making her experience light moving through her Spirit. Going through pregnancy & having a child makes ur body go through this. I feel I have been gaining weight, even though I’ve been eating less, & my exercising hasn’t changed much. Do u have any advice or insight on why I haven’t been able to eat much lately? I feel that my child & partner aren’t eating correctly because of my body’s reaction, I think caused by all of the insecurity I’ve been feeling, as I do not feel I’ve come close to fulfilling my soul’s purpose., & am beginning to seriously wonder if I fit anywhere in society. I’m scared to get out into the world. I’m scared to be heard, & to not be heard. I want to help people by relating some of the burdens i have overcome & how to overcome them, but have no idea how to. I started writing a book years ago, but now am wanting to write children’s books, but hardly have any hope sometimes in myself. I don’t know why I’m so sad. I think about the problems of the world constantly & get stuck in negative thinking patterns. I don’t want to burden my family. I do want to be a more healthy, happy, more productive person for the best intentions of all involved–but am totally overwhelmed the past 20 months since I’ve had my kid…. I can barely eat, I am so stressed about $ problems & how to provide for my family, & have lost waay too much weight. Any ideas of what’s going on with me, & anyone else going through the same ‘weight’ issues, but to where u can’t eat hardly, & r still gaining weight?

    • Colette Baron-Reid

      I think you might want to pick up 2 books. One- The Art of Extreme Self Care by Cheryl Richardson and my book Weight Loss for People Who feel Too Much, and the third book called Are You Tired and Wired? by Marcelle Pick. Between the 3 books I think YOu’ll find a lot of answers and guidance on this issue. You’re not alone! oxox

  • Laura

    Very insightful! Truly eye opening.

  • Shirin

    I’ve had a lot of family problems and some obstacles in trying to break into the workforce for the past couple of years. Now that I’m getting ready to go back to school, I’m suddenly gaining weight like crazy. It’s so disgusting. I wanted to just feel encouraged and get ready, not have the additional stress of insane amounts of weight gain. It’s really upsetting. I know that getting upset about it will only make it worse, but it’s just such a shock to my system. It’s driving me crazy.

  • Adair Andrews

    Sending you lots of healing energy! We all miss you at Wholelife Expo!

    • Colette Baron-Reid

      thanx Adair! am in bed with a bad leg from the accident..!

      • Cynthia

        God’s healing energies to you Colette. I appreciate your guidance and willingness to answer the call so that your light can help ours to shine.

  • Catherine Pagliaro

    Surrounding you with love and healing energy.

  • The Dame Intl

    Ok, so you’ve explained the weight gain, but how do we get it off?

    I eat very healthily and do yoga and ride my bike, I work from home so I sleep a lot and have enough rest, but yet I am at my biggest I have ever been.

    I think for me, the weight gain is not having people around me, or a social circle. It’s comforting, but also makes me self conscious when I do venture out into the world.

    I definitely see it as a protective layer, but I dont know how to get rid of it. Ihave a beautiful body under all this padding!

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