New Moon, New Musings from the Cocoon of Colette!!

Updated: July 8, 2013


What a week! What a glorious, crazy, maniacal, nutty, logjam of broken telephone and mutterings of “off with their heads” from nowhere in particular, other than soccer games (I cannot even bear to talk about Brazil’s horrors) and people slinking off into the bushes just waiting to pounce, while drunk with fantasy about what the world really owes them.

It wasn’t “fair” that I got into that accident on my beautiful new Harley Purrl, now deceased. I admit I did consider “I didn’t deserve it”, that “Excuse me I had things to do people, to see and places to go!” That mind-set lasted about a day but I know better. My guardian angel was beside me saying “suck it up Princess- participating in your own rescue means stop doing and start being and yes you’re going to have to stay in bed for five solid weeks until you get it.”

I am responsible and I know it. It’s not about blame- it’s about knowing that I am creating my reality by my responses to life on life’s terms as well as igniting the creative spark within me to make a new life that only I can choose in partnership with a Higher Power.

When I was blogging before I thought I was supposed to teach and share my wondrous spiritual insights to my tribe. I remember the uproar that happened when I got upset when my website got hacked and I suggested said hacker might be better suited to gastro intestinal disorders, etc. I admit that was not very nice but it really was my personality and I was being funny.

The accident brought my true radical self to the forefront and I said screw it, I am going to talk to them directly about everything. The ones who will respect it and get it will and the ones that won’t are not going to vibe in my tribe and that has to be ok.

We cannot be all things to everyone.

You can’t. I can’t.

Entitlement is cancerous and any of us at any time can lay prey to that place within where we may refuse to surrender to life’s experiences because our expectations are not met. What do we think we deserve? It’s an interesting question that has come up a lot this past week as we’ve all been invited to check out our narratives of childhood expectations not met or met well. (Check out Robert Ohotto’s brilliant insights at

Entitlement is a difficult state of mind to gauge in others when no one really can be inside another’s head. Nobody really invites anyone else to jump on in to share that special personally-decorated, lavish mind-space, pull up a chair and have a coffee klatch at a table to enjoy an honest straightforward conversation of what’s really going on in their connection.

It might go something like this:


Girl: Hey, you asked me out to dinner, kissed me and helped me with my broken computer. You did not call me the next day. Did you not get the memo? That meant you were supposed to give me a ring and buy me a new car and never ever look at another girl. I texted you a thousand times and you did NOT get back to me. You OWE ME! Waaaaaa. I hate you but I really want you to love me so I can win this thing. Then it will prove that deep down I am not unlovable and what happened to me at nine years old with the neighbor will be all healed. Or maybe I will just dump you and that might make me feel better but either way I need a shot at this so you need to contact me. Where is the pie? I need pie!


Guy: Listen, you were cute and kissable and I like helping girls. I fed you but you went on and on about your dreams of a relationship and how we had so much in common and frankly after the texting and calling you scare the [email protected]*T outta me and I wish you would just go away. I do not understand women. Phew that was close OMG. Can I go now? I never could please my mom either JEEEZ. Plus your perfume smells like old socks.


Two people can have very different ideas of their relationship, sometimes based on lack of clarity and other times on sheer projection of what they believe they’re entitled to.

What I have noticed, especially from the letters coming in for my “Ask Colette” series is there is a considerable idea that scapegoating others for your own lack of success seems to be a favorite pastime of many people this past month.

A mother wrote in how disappointed she was that her son’s special education (she paid for) got at an executive coaching school did not make her son a successful coach in his first year.  I actually know the person who owns this school, and like me, scratches his head about how people expect to magically morph into a SUCCESS overnight while doing very little to participate in their own rescue or business building.  He is a very enthusiastic teacher, and like me, provides all kinds of ideas and information to students about how to move forward.

Both of us have a business whose purpose is only to educate not to provide clients for coaches, and we both do our best to support the students within reason.

We are both educators. Period.

Yet, people will still expect the moon will come with that piece of cheese they got, and may stamp their feet if it turns out to be well, just cheese!

Kids, the moon is taken.

Create your own place in the world. Trade your cheese for the mouse that will lead to the next experience and so on and so on. Voila – a life!

I digress.

Everyone needs to be proactive these days and consider their thoughts as well as their actions.

Kevin Hart, my all-time favorite comedian has this chant he does with his posse before his show that goes like this “Everyone wants to be famous but nobody wants to do the work.” Hmmmmmm.

This brings me to the interesting quantum curiosities that no one seems to agree on but we all know has truth, which is inherent in the statement, “thought creates reality.” We get what we own as true but … ta da…that we have no attachment to. Hmmm … let’s all chew on that one and have a chat. I’m due for a more interesting slide down the rabbit hole and something more interesting to talk about than the stuff that’s not working. What if all of it is? What if entitlement has a deeper expectation of failure deep down of “see I told you so?”

It’s a new moon, a new start.

What do you think about this?

A great quote to discuss from Pam Grout (one of my new faves and author of E-Squared) is:

“The problem is, we all look at the world with a giant chip on our shoulder. All we need to do is change the course of our crummy lives is to get over our ongoing grudge against the world, to actively see and expect a different reality.”

Can hardly wait to hear from you!


The InVision Project
Founder, CEO

If you have a question you would like to ask Colette, write to her at [email protected]All published questions and answers will be anonymous – we honor and protect your privacy. (Please, Colette respectfully asks that you do not request a reading as the anticipated response to your question.)

Showing 55 comments
  • sharon

    For me I have found I did all the work for 30 years to heal and also to be able to be well enough to work. For me I realized I did not know how to surrender- that I can not fix everything or control this. I never even accepted I was “disabled” as i tried so hard to keep up with people who were not in my physical condition. I had a realization recently that I am and this has happened and no amount of trying and wishing will make it go away. No one tried harder then me or as one intuitive told me was “How are you still alive- another person would not”. In the surrender and acceptance of what is and not fighting so much is where change may or may not happen.The ultimate may or may not happen is not up to me and that is where i give it to G-d. Sometimes trying too hard is a problem. For some reason i thought if you work hard enough and take the steps i would be healed and well thats not the case. Acceptance.

    • Colette Baron-Reid

      you are an extraordinary power of example Julia. It’s how you live your life as you are now that is precious. xooxox

      • Noticing A Pattern


        I enjoy reading your posts and feel that you have alot to offer. When I have the odd free moment, I indulge in your podcasts….find them informative.

        Sorry to hear about your accident and glad that you are recovering quickly. Finding it a little strange as you keep harping on the loss of the Harley Davis motorcycle. As an enlightened soul, you may need to remember….its all material. You are alive to tell the tale. Its a trap I find many spiritual/ motivational leaders fall into these days….losing touch. Wayne Dyer does an interview on youtube and talks about his $70,000 watch which doesnt lose a second or its returnable. that really an issue on our path to enlightenment? Financial success and the trappings that follow are wonderful. But thats not what the essence of the new journey you are on. The abundance manifests and its great that this can be shared…but most cant relate to this and may end up feeling less than. Wayne and many others appear shallow as a result…I have been told he was more “in touch” at the beginning. If after years of meditation and yoga, true success is measured by the tolerance/ compassion for all that you encounter in life – sweet and bittersweet. So quit throwing the pity party. Bike will be replaced. Lets focus on the important things and keep it real.

        Have a wonderful insightful day,

        • Colette Baron-Reid

          Thanx for your post. It brought me to think about a lot of things so I am grateful for the inspiration!A question for us all!
          What do you want to be in touch with ? What manifests in your consciousness? What you believe is what you see and how you will perceive it. So what are you looking for when your eyes open?

          I always find it interesting what people pull out of my blogs. I do hope they help you reflect on how you might compare yourself to others and why you might fall into the trap of comparison rather than identifying with the deeper layers that others see.

          In your case you focused on the material aspect of the motorcycle story instead of recognizing the metaphor. I could care less that I lost something material, rather my bike represented both freedom, remaining independent and refusing to allow anyone’s labels, as well as the shadow of speed and the need to slow down. Pity Party? That’s hilarious. If you know anything about me at all I think pity parties are complete bullshit and a waste of breathing.
          I have no time for drama or self pity, I have an awesome life to attend to.

          I may have been writing and speaking in the inspirational/ self help/ personal development world for years, but never once have I claimed to be an ” enlightened soul”. That is a very dangerous label of spiritual materialism and suggests aspirations of some kind of arrival date of some gain in the spiritual hierarchy.

          Honey I am a work in progress and I use my life as a subject for sharing my stories as they help me evolve so that others are in turn inspired or helped. Sweet and Bittersweet, Sour and salty all of it counts
          But since we’re on the topic.

          Does one need to be without material things to be enlightened? Do people only identify and learn from thought leaders that are on the same economic page? Why does that make a difference?
          Maybe for some people, and typically those people believe that having less means they are more and somehow better than someone who can afford a 70 thousand dollar watch.
          True Wealth has very little to do with things although there is absolutely nothing wrong with material accomplishments. The problem is comparison.
          No one has the power to make anyone else feel ” less than”. It is only in the poverty consciousness of the person that sees someone else as having more than them,thereby being unable to identify with them as a fellow co-creator. If you know who you are and what your value is you would not need to see them as “losing their influence” because they have gained material success.
          Would you prefer that Wayne have remained the same guy as when he sold his books out of the trunk of his car?
          What do we need to do make you or others with your same attitude to make you more comfortable?
          Shall we all redirect and give away all our toys to make you feel more part of?
          95% of the people that read my blogs are not my clients,some may never buy a book, yet I write”em anyway! They are my Tribe because they choose to be and the human experience is about community and shared resources and growth.
          My business has evolved too. My brand is changing according to who I have attracted and who I best serve given my skills. My clients for example are high achievers and business leaders and influencers, they are also spiritually aware and know they have a responsibility to the world. Not everyone can afford me and that’s fine with me.
          They don’t have time to read my blogs!
          But you do! And it’s free!
          That said, I totally understand how you are forging your path and absolutely honor and respect it.
          Sometimes the problem we end up having (as the ones who write for you to read) is being the subject of projection.
          And, as Wayne would say Excuses Begone! I personally would spend that money on a life time membership to the Company Store to ensure I would always have 600 TC sheets that had teeny dots in them as my husband and dogs love them best. That said only after I would donate 10% to charity so that others could know the miracles of sharing.
          We all have a choice.
          Wishing you joy and abundance on your spiritual journey to what you consider enlightenment to be.
          And I am still looking forward to my new Harley whenever I feel like manifesting one as I stumble and laugh at myself and share it with whoever wants to listen.
          The End.

  • lisa Froman

    I really liked the “old” Collette. A lot. But I LOVE the new, straight-up with a chaser of truth, Collette.

    You’ve got things to teach…and I have more to learn. And your comment about imparting advice in a certain voice….and then deciding to shuk it, at least a bit, for what feels more authentic now, is something I can relate to. Thanks Missy!

  • Cindy

    This new … me not letting anyone take advantage of me anymore..I deserve Respect and I don’t get it..Not even from my own child…He has bet of more the he can chew..Its like what ,do I wear a stupid sign or lets pick her shes easy!! Wow…is all I can say. In a different mindset and My Faith is stronger then ever. Colette , thank you!
    Much love and respect, you are an angel!!

    • Colette Baron-Reid

      welcome Cindy honey! thanx for writing!

    • Holly

      Cindy, try turning what you are seeing on the outside…in 🙂 so you don’t see anyone giving you respect…do you respect yourself? One of my teachers always says it starts with us, you see outside of you; your expectations and what you need to heal. So if it’s in your face turn it inward and change the “them” to “I”

  • Cindie

    Hello my name is Cindie and I need to get off my butt and work towards my dreams, my goals. I feel like I should be at some mystical meeting confessing my lack of doing very little to participate in my life. Three years ago I took a mentorship program to become a animal communicator. This has been a huge dream of mine and when the communication and messages did not just come easy I let doubt and fear get to me. I have been told by more then a few I will be wonderful as a animal communicator and this is truly my path. Lately when I ask the universe why has this dream not manifested for me all I hear is get off your butt and do the work. Over the past few weeks even months I have started to work on me to love myself. I am a cancer so this retrograde in cancer has been wild for me. I have walked around screaming and yelling at the universe. My current financial situation and one with my daughter brought me to a breaking point this week and I broke. I spent most of last Saturday sobbing, I mean crying like I have not in years. I guess the point to all this rambling is surrender and do your work… Today I feel a sense of clarity, it is my hope that the energy of this New Moon and my active part will bring about positive changes to my life. The fact that I could even write this is so huge for me…..

    I send you all love and light.

  • Ronda

    I grapple with ‘deserve’. I deserve, they deserve, they don’t deserve, they’re getting and they don’t deserve, I’m not getting and I deserve! Round and round….I’m much more peaceful in my life taking deserve, fairness, and entitlement out of my realm of consciousness. It is my opinion that they are irrelevant. What is relevant is how we respond and what we do to help ourselves. I learned from my mother who in her 20’s was diagnosed with a rare disease that gave her under a 10% chance of living. That was over 30 years ago. She had two failed kidney transplants, had both her breasts removed from cancer, had her uterus removed, a right hand that suddenly stopped working, open wounds that won’t heal, dialysis for the last 12 years, 4 times a week, 5 hours at a stretch and no vacation Ever from that job! Yet she smiles everyday. She is grateful everyday! It is remarkable. Not to mention we lived below poverty prior to her diagnosis (she being a single teenage mother) and her illness prevented her from work, so she has lived her entire life below poverty. Her attitude has always been one of immense gratitude. The real heroes in life don’t think about things like deserve and entitled and fair. They dig deep, find the silver lining, pull themselves up and have a smile for others as they count their blessings. I’m simply a novice at this, still learning from the real great people on this planet that serve as lighthouses for lost sailors like me.

    • Colette Baron-Reid

      and that my dear was the whole point of the blog! … when we let that go… awwwwwww miracles

      • Ronda

        My mom made a choice somewhere along the line. She wasn’t born with a special sense of gratitude. She cultivated it.

        Many times I listened to her cry herself to sleep sobbing…why? Why? Her hair fell out, her body morphed, her energy all but left. Her own mother committed suicide when she was 11…so she could have begun her dissertation on what is fair back then!

        She made her choice; life.
        She made another choice; I will not be bitter.
        She made another choice; I’m going to smile for my daughter, so she has hope.

        Our choices to help ourselves, trickle down and serve as examples for others. I so want to be an expert at helping myself! I can only take baby steps everyday and not condemn myself for the 4 steps backwards after the one step forward…I guess that’s the Life Cha Cha Cha! Thank you Colette for posing these questions that cause me to reflect and define my inner self.

        • Roxie

          Thank you Ronda. That bit you wrote about “She made her choice…” really resonated with me and nothing has been able to get through to me in that way for a very long time. I don’t usually read through any of these posts anymore because I have had such a rough few years I lost all hope, but for some reasons Colette’s posting hit a nerve with me and I read it and it made me think and then for some reason I kept going and read the comments and yours really stuck out and hit me over the head! I have an 8 month old daughter and realize I do have to choose life, choose not to be bitter and choose to smile for my daughter so she has hope.

          • Ronda

            Roxie, I understand that feeling of hopelessness and how sometimes reading other people’s posts can make those dark feelings worse. It’s ok. Don’t feel bad about it. It just means you’re working stuff out…. I am So Happy you read my post! I want to share how you have been my gift….
            As per Colette’s recommendation, I’m reading E2. One of the experiments is to expect a gift in 48 hours. My deadline for my gift was this morning. I had a momentary bummer feeling a few minutes before seeing your post that I didn’t get a gift. My inner voice said ‘don’t give up’ (see, there is a hard deadline for the gift. Mine was 9:00am. At 8:56 I was bummed). At 9:02 I logged on to see if Colette had a new post. She did. But I also noticed, there was a new comment on the old post and something caused me to SEARCH for the new post. It was YOURS. Your post was MY GIFT. I feel like I may have helped you and that is beyond wonderful. Thank you Roxie!
            Your daughter is very fortunate to have a mother like you…very very fortunate. I hope you have not just smiles today but some giggles too!

    • DLLJRandfurballs

      Awesomely, put Ronda. My Mom is one of those lighthouses. In fact Collette is a beacon as well. I believe in prayer to your Higher Power(s) and tell it like it is. That has been the best I could hope for right now. We do only have this day. I love to plan and make it happen in peace (still my goal). My stresses which are financial are killing me but I have no other way but to face them head on and as usual vow to myself never again will I allow to be in the kind of vulnerable position financially. My next ten years are over yet saved God willing I be provided with safe funds as opposed to making my family sick over the lack of funds. God bless me with employment today and everyday for the next 30 years. Or the miraculous lottery could be fix my financial problems and then I could do what I love and that is to share : )

  • Jenn

    “if no one told me who I was, who would I be?” Excuses be Gone! – Dr. Wayne W. Dyer.
    That statement alone, helps me shift my perceptions, and when I say it to friends who are stuck with a case of the “Poor Me’s” seems to help. 🙂

    Loving the Vibe of your Tribe Colette! xox

    • Colette Baron-Reid

      You got it and welcome to the TRIBE where we vibe “straight up with a chaser of truth” !

    • DLLJRandfurballs

      Excuses Be Gone, Amen.

  • Suzanne Whitaker

    “Kids, the moon is taken.

    Create your own place in the world.” BRILLIANT, Colette!

  • Susan

    Hi Colette,
    I really enjoyed the frankness of this article. (And Remembering the Future. And Weight Loss for People who Feel Too Much!) I got the pink Himalayan salts to add to my bath in the fine grain and it doesn’t dissolve well in the bath! Ugh. Will get the bigger grains next time. You are very inspirational!!! May you heal quickly and be stronger than ever!!!! Susan

  • Karla

    For many years I struggled with “why me, it’s not fair”. I attached myself to what I now know were enablers who fed my sickness and made me feel I was entitled to feel that way. Finally talked with someone and after much struggle realized I’m not a victim, I’m a survivor!!! Now when something happens I think ok why did this occur and what am I supposed to be learning from this? Still searching for answers but know they will come when I am ready! We’re here to grow and learn and how could we ever do that if all our wants and desires were handed to us on a silver platter?
    Love reading your blogs Colette! You rock!!!

  • Juan Gonzalez

    Dear Colette, I am new in the tribe and I love it! After the Universe guide me to your book The Map and to the cards I look for your site and WALLAA here i found a wonderful information and great souls sharing information and point of views that enhance people life. As you mention everyone is responsible for their actions and results, so we need to deal with it! 😉
    I personally believe that our thoughts create our life and we are always thinking so we need to watch very diligent what we are thinking. Sometimes is very energy draining but the exercise help us to be more aware and alert to create a magnificent life in the here now and beyond. The moon is not a cheese entree! If you want to achive something start doing whatever your spirit guide you and let it be, trust and be happy, imagine the best resuts. Mutes thoghts of lack of fear, what the heck is that “No way Jose” here we go and I claim my abundance, prosperity and happiness everyday and at every moment. Hope All is well, looking foward for your feedback and for more news and info in your website. Light, love and abundant blessing for you and your family including the tribe!!

    • Colette Baron-Reid

      thanx for writing Juan ! yes the moon is not a “cheese entree” ha! welcome to the the Tribe !

  • Christine McIver

    I am sitting here laughing out loud & yelling YOU TELL IT SISTER!
    Oh boy that was me so often & now I am taking responsibility and choosing my new reality.
    Thank you for being your brilliant transparent self.
    I wish you much more fun travels up & down rabbit holes.
    You are a wonderful teacher & you inspire me to be more of my brilliant self.
    Happy Pre-Birthday to you! (we share that in common too!)
    Light, Love & Laughter!

  • Catherine Pagliaro

    You Rock sister as always. My favourite mantra is Gandhi’s Be the change you want to see in the world…I am a continual work in progress and have come through a most interesting year of having a person in my life that helped me reach some deep damage that I couldn’t see without the trigger to reveal it. Ugly stuff but so relieving to let it go and move forword with a new piece of cheese so to speak…I love the new moon and its power of intention creation….as I love getting up everyday because we get up and can hit the restart button on positivity know matter has gone on.
    Love to all xo

    • DLLJRandfurballs

      I need to Be the change and not look back. Problem is I cannot tattoo that on my forehead. I think I miss out on not having it (all the truthful, awesome, inspiring, courageous mantra’s) right there all the time. I am happy to have pulled myself out of one hell but now I get another one that I have to suck up. It is crazy like low-pay (no-pay) and high prices (gasoline, clothes, allergy diets). Life could be like a precious stone: cool, colorful, and a time to meditate on oneness. I used to balk at Mom, 87, being so polite but now in my mid-age I understand how important it really is. Its too much sugar sometimes but life is tougher without it.

  • Susan

    Dear Colette,
    I was walking outside just now when a thought popped into my head. The time out you describe as cocooning is sort of like what I do for the shabbat–(I don’t keep it halachically accurately but I do create this special time to “just be”)–you are more considered than I am but it seems like every soul could use an “island in time.” (A 24 hour island–maybe not a 5 week one!) Sent with love, Susan

  • Tracy Reifferscheid

    Perfect timing for this article. I just made the same decision that I know lknger am sugar coating. I am tired of others expecting…then I realized if I am tired then I am putting energy into their stuff. So I will call it as it is and let them decide what to do with it. Thanks Collette and the Divjne for this article that reaffirms what I was thinking and feeling.

  • DLLJRandfurballs

    Nice to chat again. Not smiling however I was told the other day that they were a firm believer in God gives you what you deserve. And here we are; together. I have shunned the word deserve and spirituality as one. I believe in the spirit holy or just spirit the label does not matter to me it is the message and the plea that matter, to me. I fell in my life to a place I can not tolerate or handle – enough! I rose and could look into the eyes of other human beings; I felt respected. Too soon for too long I cannot be healthy, well, or happy that I now will have a heavy burden plaguing me in daily life. I moved to a different USA state and it is worse regarding employment. I thought I would never be in this type (being suffocated) of predicament ever again and now it is worse. I will never be able to get any federal help for anything on my house because of a lien. I got into trouble when I lost 99.99% of my independent contractor receipts and because of a nasty child custody case regarding my one an only granddaughter I lost too much finances for the gimme-gimmie to get a better lawyer and stance and I stupidly gave. I found it hard to choose a stranger over my flesh and blood. Yet that flesh and blood has not given back a penny nor in empathy or work-trade. It was more comfortable to make me insane instead. I have prayed long and hard and am willing to pray daily (I do anyway light or hearty) I will do almost any decent job -even bake biscuits – , although I do have preferences that I am better suited for, and need an average paycheck of the $2000 per month (I know). It should not be so difficult to attain work here but it is and I am losing hope of the TRUTH. The truth that it should not be so difficult to survive and happily. Why did evil win? Most of the jobs went overseas, why? It is like kill the American, so sad. Why is it so difficult to keep on the light side? Why was I a fool to believe? I am sad and really could have a stroke with the truth. It would be an ugly mess but all my debts would be forgiven except the lien that will take the house. Being sad is bad. Have you ever hurt so much? Sorry, I do have an appointment on Friday to see a charity counselor, maybe there will be a lead to employment somewhere close to home. Mid-life, age, should not be treated as if we mid-ager’s do not need to keep moving forward especially in my case I have done my best to keep building yet nobody would help me with the problem spots – I did reach out many a time obviously not enough. Do you think I will be helped the correct way now? Winning the lottery would allow me to live another day in peace on this beautiful Earth. I only say that because I could erase my debt and misery with finances. I wish and pray I could be hired right now and nobody will hate me because I had too much on my plate and I needed help. LOVE Very cheered you can be Happy, can I have some or a lot : ) Share, please.

    • Soulshine79

      ** “Don’t wait for someone else to bless you when you sneeze… Bless yourself!” **

      To be honest with you… I actually stopped reading your post a few sentences into it. As I began to feel a great deal of pressure, overwhelm, and desperation. I have to wonder: if ‘this’ isn’t the energy/feelings you are trying to avoid acknowledging by focusing on SO many external details… If so, it is my hope that by acknowledging and taking responsibility for your ‘feelings’, you are able to accept where you’re at. So, that YOU can get on with creating something different! I understand that this is a difficult time for you. It is my sense though, that the Universe is attempting to teach you to be there for yourself, in a greater and more authentic way. So, if it seems like what you’re looking for- is being withheld from you… perhaps this is why!!

      **You’re not getting what you WANT…You’re getting what you NEED!!
      ~When you’re able to appreciate this… is when you’ll find something more.

      In other words, when you decide that you’re happiness isn’t so dependant upon the fluctuating circumstances of your external environment… you’ll find your external environment seems alot more willing to co-operate with you. It isn’t that the Universe is actually withholding anything from you… Actually, believe it or not, it’s that you’re withholding it from yourself! You’ve made your happiness and your worth dependant on what you “have/don’t have”, and you’ve focused yourself upon your “powerlessness” to a force that can “give/take” it all away. It isn’t rocket science really, I mean, do you like when someone makes their “everything” dependent upon you? When you know it isn’t your responsibility, and never was? You, are the savior you’re waiting for! It’s your love, acceptance, and support you need most! Trust me, I know first hand how difficult it is; to even want to see how we’ve created a mess of things. Yes, we’ve all made choices that have gotten us where we currently are, including you, including me. Bless your mess… and bless yourself! Don’t wait for someone else to bless you when you sneeze! Bless yourself! When you sneeze, say “I am SO blessed!” :)***The people that are; where you’d like to be, may have been where you are; at one time or another. They learned from where they were at, started from where they were, and eventually ended up where they are now. You can too!! -Thank you for these reflections. We are SO BLESSED!!! ( And p.s.- I just went back and read your entire post. I felt that it was important that I confront any of my own resistances, with honesty. Especially, if I was going to hope the same for you. *** The greatest challenges can become the greatest opportunites… when approached with trust, curiousity, openness, humility, and a willingness to let go of what we think “should” be otherwise. *** This too, shall pass. -Thanks again.)

      • Soulshine79

        Sorry, I could have specified that the above ^^^ was in response to: DLLJRandfurballs post. I apologize for any resulting confusion. Thanks;)

  • Lois Whittle

    Hi all… I am new too to this site. I just read through everyone’s comments and wanted to say thank you for all your insights it really helped me to see something I needed to see! Entitlement, deserve and fairness really hit home with me. I have been going through an inheritance situation and we are going to court next week and I am doing everything to keep myself calm because I can really let it upset me. I let it go and gave it to the universe so I could stay calm and not let it drive me crazier than I already am and I have found myself very calm and very grateful for everything and again for all your comments.

    With love and light, Lois

  • Susan

    Once I learned about how we plan our life lessons that we want to learn, I got a new perspective on things in my life. (I literally saw me and my spirit guide planning my life that I am now living, during a hypnosis session). When hard things come along, now I ask, what is this here to teach me? What lesson am I not getting? With this perspective, there is no looking at life as fair or not, or thinking about what I might deserve.

    I learned that I wanted a big lesson in forgiveness, so I picked an abusive family situation to grow up in. So very much healing has been done around all of it.

    And sitting on my butt with a broken foot is allowing my recent healing work to really sink in. I am not able to do much for those around me, so they are having to step up and do for themselves and for me (for a change). I see healthy boundaries really being established.

    Love the no holding back, balls to the wall way you are writing now. Much more YOU! Even though your bike may not have made it, I still sense that you are riding (writing) free!!

    • Colette Baron-Reid

      veey insightful Susan.. hugs to you and yep .. I am riding a different kinda free these days .. xoox

  • Jessica

    Colette, I only first heard you on Healing with the Masters last month and your talk resonated so much that I was so pleased to be able to listen to you on the Hay House World Summit. 🙂

    Thank you for being yourself, for acknowledging the human responses we all have, even when we know, intellectually, it’s not the highest vibration possible.

    I’m in the midst of starting this new business and I know my energy input into it directly relates to the fruits of that labour, but that energy can fluctuate – so I’m trying to use the new moon to infuse!


  • Angie

    I have found myself in an unexpected place in my career. It’s really not what I had in my mind’s eye for my next step. BUT I’ve surrendered my expectations to the Love of the Universe, knowing that I have a limited view of what is possible. I am here, at this moment, for a reason. It is my job to keep my eyes and my heart open knowing that the path will be shown to me.

    Expectation/Entitlement is the killer of creativity and the mother of disappointment. Gratitude for where I am, all the cool stuff I’m learning and creative people I’m meeting is where I am today.

    Loved this whole blog post. Thanks for sharing.

  • Anne

    Great musings! I was wondering why I kept thinking about my brother and acting like my mother- must revisit the childhood….ick!! I want to run away! Sideways or whatever way! Summer always makes it harder to confront/deal but I know it will help in the long run.
    Glad I found your page of musings, etc!

  • bonnie

    I had an interesting thing happened on the way to the rest of my life this last two weeks.After years of asking where do i belong and what am i supposed to be doing and getting what i thought was no answers, i realized that i already know the what. I have the dream with all the details rivht here in my head and heart. It’s been there for years silly rabbit.Ok so that means a new question is in order hmmmm. Alrighty i like the game …new question and lets just say i know what answer i would like to see. There’s that create your life idea by your thoughts thing again. Question then became where is the place where the dream can most easily manifest and succeed. I swear within hours a job sbowed up in the very area I wanted.after months of searching, applying, getting no responses. So I’m intrigued and amused … I’ll keep playing. Applied, interviewed, hired. Wow just like that? So next week this silly rabbit is moving and jumping down a brand new rabbit hole. Can’t wait to see what’s in there but I can tell you for sure I’m concentrating very hard on holding graditude and love in my thoughts. And a grand vision of the dream that needs only my work and right action to fly.

    • Colette Baron-Reid

      BRavo! and, if you really want to get into this read Esquared by Pam Grout- best book out there on manifesting I’ve read in 20 years!

      • bonnie

        I will go get it today.

      • Bonnie


        Another big wow today. While waiting for my truck to get a little work done for the trip, I picked up “Prosperity” by Charles Filmore which just happened to be riding around with me lately. First thing I read is a huge confirmation of exactly what you are talking about. Thoughts of entitlement (or as he calls it, debt) that we think someone or life owes us whether it be finanacial, a better life, relationship or job, a different childhood (my big one), or an apology etc etc are living entities in our spiritual field and they take up space. Where those thoughts live no thoughts of abundance or prosperity can be because the two cannot coexist. So thoughts of debt of ANY kind against anyone (including myself) attract and create??? Ohhhhh …. more debt and lack in my own life. I’m really starting to get the bigger picture here. As you said, no one but me creates my life or the experiences in it. It’s what I do with it that matters. So today I decided that no matter what supposed offense life or people or the bee that stung my toe committed they are all forgiven. Completely and totally. I send them all only infinaite love and gratitude in place of debt. As Charles puts it “no one owes you anything.” I believe Pam’s quote says the same thing in different words – “The problem is, we all look at the world with a giant chip on our shoulder. All we need to do is change the course of our crummy lives is to get over our ongoing grudge against the world, to actively see and expect a different reality.” I am excited to read your next blog. I just know it’s going to be so amazing.

      • Ronda

        Thank you for the great recommendation! I’m too am reading Pam Grout’s Esquared.
        I’m starting my days with some good ole’ teenage fist pumping which is really fun and makes me laugh for no reason. That in itself is good enough for me! Looking forward to doing the experiments!

        • starrdusk

          that actually sounds great. are you doing it with a dvd or going to a group. I need something like that to start my days I think.

  • Bridgett

    “stop doing and start being”
    “Everyone needs to be proactive”

    Seems like contradictory statements and, I don’t know, maybe they are. I feel like I hold one in one hand and one in the other.

    I’m compulsively proactive. I recently read a statement that was something like – true practice is about letting go of rather than adding to.

    My jaws are sore from chewing on this. I know I need to breathe through it and open both of those hands – neither are wrong or right. Open the hands rather than have fists that are duking this one out!!!

    Thank you – your writings always stir up things I want to sift through.

    • Colette Baron-Reid

      ha! both are true.. the first was about doing too much and also about being the thing I want to achieve first – in my case it was being in balance and flow therefore I had to slow down. The proactive part was about the action to take one step towards the gods, rather than expect to be entitled to this or that without taking any step. Pro-active can be paradoxically being. Entitlement brings up and idea of pouting when you don’t get what you think you deserve. It’s a lack mentality and shows the focus is on the ” not having”. When we focus on the miracle and follow our inner guidance not the compulsive one that screams at us to keep going! , we become what we believe. I did bring up a whole lotta layers in this blog. You gave me a good idea to address in the next one.
      It is a delicate balance between doing and being.. but “wanting” without either is the epitome of entitlement.
      thanx for writing.. now I have lots to chew on too!

      • starrdusk

        I wondered the same thing also when I read them. Actually, what I have often wondered is how do other people interpret the ‘just be’ part for themselves?

        I just now closed this page out and checked my email and found this, which i think goes well with this….by Ram Dass
        Question: How can I judge myself less harshly and appreciate myself more?

        Ram Dass: I think that part of it is observing oneself more impersonally. I often use this image, which I think I have used already, but let me say it again.

        That when you go out into the woods and you look at trees, you see all these different trees. And some of them are bent, and some of them are straight, and some of them are evergreens, and some of them are whatever.

        And you look at the tree and you allow it. You appreciate it. You see why it is the way it is. You sort of understand that it didn’t get enough light, and so it turned that way.

        And you don’t get all emotional about it. You just allow it. You appreciate the tree.
        The minute you get near humans, you lose all that. And you are constantly saying “You’re too this, or I’m too this.” That judging mind comes in.

        And so I practice turning people into trees. Which means appreciating them just the way they are.
        And, there was a period of time where I used to have a picture of myself on my puja table…….
        ….As a psychologist, I can study those phenomena in another person; why not study it in myself? And part of what drugs did for me, and then mediation did for me, and all the spiritual things is it helps me stand back and get outside of it. To see it for what it is. As just stuff — phenomena.

        full text here

  • Diana Boles

    It was ingrained in me. Those 5 words of wisdom my Dad lived by—“Nobody don’t owe ya nuttin'”—–but when you are surrounded by people who feel just that way, it is hard to keep that well polished phrase on my Angels lips. And its rancor definitely catchy. I begin to feel edgy And just about the time I’m about to collapse with distracted anger, I hear the Voice say, “I’ll take it from here. They haven’t a clue what they sound like”.
    So my dad always said those words, but that doesn’t mean there weren’t moments that I felt “I was due—“. But life taught me some very important lessons at a very early age.
    The hardest thing is to keep yourself from being a doormat—or the silent wallflower.
    The “You owe me” of others philosophy can have that effect as well. How to stay balanced when others are pushing? Breathe, just breathe.

  • Nancy P

    Love the dialogue between man and woman! Very funny!

    I feel we get a lot of false expectations from our culture. Contemplation, reflection, hard work, boring gruntwork, process–it’s all underrated but necessary to get great results. I think the more we notice and laugh at that, the easier it is to get the reality check and let go of impatience and unrealistic expectations.

    My biggest challenge is being sick or fatigued–I’m a bear if I lose a day to fatigue or brain fog, even though it happens once a month or so because I’m still working through some sleep disturbance issues. It used to be twice a week so I’ve made fabulous progress, but I don’t acknowledge that. I just whine about how oh, I planned to get so much done today, it’s so frustrating, boo hoo! Needed to read your funny kick-in-the-butt piece today, for sure.

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