Life Interruptus (or; thoughts on staying present when life offers lemons that don’t make lemonade)!
Updated: June 30, 2014
Life Interruptus (or; thoughts on staying present when life offers lemons that don’t make lemonade)
Dearest seeker of light and love,
Have you noticed that it’s getting easier and much quicker to manifest these days? This is why meditation and stilling the mind is crucial to make the roller-coaster a less nauseating ride. I feel the veils are becoming thinner between worlds of what is and what might be and parallel worlds collide at these extraordinary choice points we may not be prepared for. The way forward is always to jump in as if you knew 10000% that your guides and angels are waiting to catch you, or at the very least encourage you to unfurl those wings you have tucked inside your heart. It’s a bumpy ride in these halls of mirrors between intention setting, releasing, seeing the amazing effortless arrival of events, then holding on too tight just in case it might not be real while trying to remember that the Universe is a perfect organizer.
Right, we all know this. When we get out of our own way we all know this to be a fact.
My oracle cards are accurate mirrors of that statement. Pick cards when you’re stressing and they will mirror that. Come detached and you get the oracle message for you clean and clear.
So what happens when you’re all “zen” and grounded and doing the right things, seeing the signs that Spirit is listening and delivering too, then something unexpected and undeniably inconvenient and painful occurs?
This weekend with all that I know (and so much I don’t) and the deepest most trusting part of my soul I was rudely interrupted by that giant pain in the A** – Life Interruptus. You know how it is, right when you’re on a roll, getting in the soulful groove, calm cool and collected as you’re waving your manifesting wand (none of us here are Muggles now are we?) getting closer to getting what you want than ever before and BAM some kind of crap happens and you’re left saying “excuse me?”
Let me explain.
I had some plans. Weekend plans. Date with my man, riding on my Harley, writing some music, toodling around with the new oracle deck I’m creating with my buddy Pam Grout (stay tuned The Oracle of E is coming next year and it rocks!), reading a great novel and an at home spa treatment. Plans made. I’ve worked so hard these last few months I am ready for this weekend! YAY!
Enter the latest trip to the emergency with my dog Beanie.
She’s not been well for quite some time, to make a long story short her plastic windpipe we had put in 4 years ago isn’t working anymore. She has an airway disease common in these tiny breeds. She is like her mom, a klutz and bumped into the stairs while trying to climb them and twisted her knee. So although the knee dislocation was causing her to scream (the worst sound in the world) she quickly began to have trouble breathing. She needed oxygen. Traffic was horrible and I was freaking out which didn’t help her one bit.
Until I surrendered.
I’ve been paying triple into my spiritual insurance policy recently meditating an hour or more a day. This has been the most profound choice I’ve made lately. I committed to slow down and be present to the best of my ability no matter what conditions are thrown at me. It’s been an amazing mood stabilizer.
Of course I forgot all that for a couple hours! Humans plan and God laughs. Is the joke cruel or is it just the layers and layers of that which we’re not meant to understand? Life Interruptus always has rotten timing.
Sitting in the emergency room I took some deep breaths and accepted the fact that the question I typically ask was the wrong one. Why? Why? Why now? Why this sweet baby? Etc. So what is the better question? The better question to ask was How? How do I deal and be present to all this with grace and ease?
Then that centering feeling of joy in spite of conditions, gratitude in spite of grief and fear, and acceptance in spite of the inconvenient truth that this situation is not going to get any better just came. It just settled into me as if it was a magical flower of wisdom I had forgotten I swallowed.
At the end of the day, sometimes life is going to slam us like it or not. To be honest I love my dogs more than anything in the world (other than Marc) They are my kids, they are my family and I committed to the quality and care of their life when I adopted them. Both my dogs will die before I am ready to let them go. I know this because in the past 15 years I have loved and lost four others. It never got easier. These are the kind of lemons that will always be too bitter to make lemonade.
Yesterday was a bust only if I took that perspective. Did nothing we planned and just huddled as a little family on the couch from late afternoon into the evening making sure she didn’t fall off since she was stoned on painkillers and was very woozy.
Yet, this morning as I woke up to her sad little stinky face with goo dripping down her muzzle so apologetic because she had vomited all over the bed sheets right where my face was turned, I was filled with so much gratitude. I realized with deep conviction that I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. No perfect future destination could match this intimate moment that will be so fleeting but so meaningful.
Life is life, interruptions or not.
Spirit has an idea about the workings of the Universe I will never understand at all. Not sure we’re meant to “ figure it out.”
Humans plan … dogs get sick, and blessings are still everywhere we choose to look.
Oh, and did you know that bitter lemons make great marmalade?
Always, yours now and forever with whole bunches of love,