Glitter is always an Option (a hodgepodge of thoughts on losing a friend while life goes on)!
Updated: November 2, 2014
How goes it in your world? I’ve been pretty pensive about life and what it all means this week as I’m trying to land a solid footing here in my new home. I’m still up to my eyeballs in boxes bemoaning the fact that none of my sheets match (I know big problem –NOT).
As I mentioned in earlier blogs I am a die- hard Cancer female who is nutty about her home so this is for me admittedly a tad jarring. My Aries husband sees the whole thing as an adventure (and no he doesn’t make the bed either)- I am the one that must have the smooth surface and pillows just so. Plus I’m over 56 now so I don’t care anymore what anyone thinks when I show up with my own sheets and pillow from home.
But I digress.
This past weekend marked the amazing three- day Trifecta of Spirit beginning with Halloween, then All Saints Day followed by All Soul’s Day when we’re supposed to honor those in our lives that have passed, maybe even share a laugh or two with the other side since the veils between the dead and living are thinner during this time.
In synchronistic timing, one of my oldest and dearest friends passed over this week also.
Angie was one of the most vibrant human beings I had ever known. She was bright and sparkly and colorful and wise and faithful and always managed to wear just the right shade of red lipstick. She was the kind of person that walked into a room and filled it with goodness and hope and glamor and scarves and always managed to make everyone want to wear a kimono with chopsticks in our hair. You know the kind of girlfriend I’m talking about right?
She was always organized and tasteful. Organized with a capitol O. When in doubt, clean and sparkle. Glitter is always an option.
When she was diagnosed with the “C” word she insisted none of us treat her with sadness, only uplifting words and deeds, only gratitude and joy and love and positive conversation. She wanted her world to be organized and managed like this right until the end.
I get it Angie.
I get it – it’s all about gratitude.
Life is good.. I love my new home, where I am today is exactly where I need to be and I have this unshakeable faith these days that we are in alignment with a higher purpose. I’ve come to believe IKEA, Ace Hardware and Home Depot were placed here by special powerful magical alien beings.
Watching my house come together-It’s almost as good as watching Samantha wiggle her nose in Bewitched.
I sometimes long for days when life could be like it is in those stores. Millions of nuts and bolts and knick- knacks all in their perfect place with special numbers where no matter how insanely crowded and weird and wooly and scary the world gets you will always know where things are.
Everything has its rightful place. Life would be so much easier wouldn’t it?
Maybe that’s why going there this week has given me such odd relief.
On one hand I am so sad for the loss of my friend and I find myself stretched between two worlds – one where I’m in a grab for control and organization, and the other where I’m free falling into the abyss of knowing that life is fleeting, and maddening sorrow can weave its painful bittersweet vines right through my heart while I search for the right kind of waste basket for the kitchen.
I know we don’t die. It’s my job as a medium to converse with the other side but it hurts like hell anyway.
Do you know what I mean?
So as I continue my task of trying to find normalcy in my home, I am going to bring my friend Angie with me shopping this week as her indomitable spirit will likely be the one who tells me to buy the glitter ball for my dining table.
Life is so chaotic these days, for all of us and I can’t help but mention the 3D world is wobbling, so it’s so important to be present in each moment even if they are wildly swinging from deep pain to awe and reverence and joy.
I know there are many departing the planet now. There isn’t only one feeling that can be described. Sometimes there are no words.
Life really is just a huge hairball of beauty, pain, joy and sorrow and, glitter.
Fly free soul sister …sending love and kisses to all those I’ve lost. As I fold towels and underwear, as I brush my teeth as I feed the dogs I am thinking of you.
I wonder if you dear reader might also share your story of life and loss and life-I would love to hear from you.
Love you always and forever, with deep gratitude especially for reading (and hopefully writing back) this week.
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