Powerlessness, Bargaining, Surrender, and Serenity!

Updated: February 22, 2015

Dear sparkling you,

This week I found myself hanging upside down on a metaphoric roller-coaster that felt perilously like I was going to fall off at any minute. It’s been a wild emotional ride that finally seems quieter although the conditions that set it off remain the same.

You all know about my older dog Sebastian and his issues, but my other sweet little girl of 10 – Beanie, has been consistently having severe pain and seizures twice a day now for about 3 weeks.

Numerous vet appointments, distance healers, animal communicators etc. have not been able to accurately say what’s wrong and we’ve tried everything- since the episodes seem to happen around meal time, we’ve been treating her for ulcers, changing her food, giving her pain meds and holding her while she goes through the episodes which now extend past 90 minutes. Nothing has worked.

Finally a neurologist found the center of the pain at the base of her skull. They want to check for brain tumor now. An MRI and spinal tap will be the best way to determine how to help her. Because of other issues doing this procedure has serious risks for her but so does allowing this to progress without some way to help her.

Instead of my daily meditations being peaceful and all about “thy will be done for the highest good etc.” I confess 50% of the time I have been in bargaining mode. “Please make this go away and I promise I will do “x. Don’t let this be happening, don’t let her suffer or worse-die, this isn’t fair, etc.”

It’s heart breaking to see her like this. And the choice is daunting since she can’t advocate for herself. I will do anything for my dogs.

I’m conscious not to project the worst and aware the need for certainty triggers both “ it’s all bad” and “a miracle will happen” states of mind.

Chicken Little and Pollyanna vie for my attention constantly these days.

Thankfully my awareness reminds me that these will pass and to remain steady and trusting, and get out of my own way as best I can, remaining in the moment- this is the right choice.

I remember “ I can’t, God can, So I’ll let God”

Have you ever felt like that? Like the events of your life make you feel so powerless that you hang on for dear life and try bargaining with God?

The paradox of life is that two truths are accurate- “ I create my reality”, and “I must surrender to Life on Life’s terms”. I am not always privy to what the “highest good” is going to look like no matter how much I want to demand it.

Today, as I write this I admit I have no idea what the highest good is for her. I know what I want it to be but that is not up to me.

I am however immersed in the truth of the Serenity Prayer. “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Today I have ceased bargaining and only focused on how to make her comfortable in the moment, surrendering to the Highest Good and allowing the discomfort of the Unknown.

I think I need a hug.

Love to all…

love colette 200x103

PS — send a prayer for the “ highest good” for Beanie.. whatever outcome is right for all as by the time you read this she will be where she needs to be and hopefully with your prayers with as much comfort as possible.

UNIVERSAL ENERGIES VLOG

Showing 151 comments
  • Suzanne
    Reply

    Dear Colette,
    So with you! I feel your pain and fear and the frustration that come with watching our little babies suffer or be in dis-ease. My parrot, Spirit, has an issue right now in his tummy (digestive croup), and the doctors also can’t seem to determine the cause. Meds are not really helping his condition, and if it is a tumor, we won’t be able to do much! So I pray, like you, that it is not a tumor and that he will be well, then I think I am not sending the right energy by focusing on the ailment vs the healing. Then I remember to collect myself and again, give it up to Spirit (the Other one!). I hope that you and Beanie receive some comfort, and do keep us all posted. I know the Spirit, by birdie, is a God send. Please send a prayer for him next time you pray for Beanie!
    Suzanne

    • Colette Baron-Reid
      Reply

      prayers for you Spirit too … from all of us here form my heart to yours .. hugs for us all

      • Marion Desborough
        Reply

        Hello Colette, I can totally understand your feeling about your dogs, I feel the same way. I now take in older dogs, who, for whatever reason find themselves without a home in their later years, not through any fault of their own, but they find themselves ” family less”… I usually have them for a number of years to give them a decent home, roof over their head, good food in their stomach with no expectations and where they can live their lives out with dignity and respect. I have had many dogs who, because of their advanced age, have physical issues and I have to make decisions around their quality of life and whether to let them go. It is always hard, and I cry for weeks, but I also realize that this is an honour to have them in my life at all , even for a short period of time and I cherish all the time I do have them. Remember the” Rainbow Bridge”. I tell you there are going to be a lot of them there for me, when I pass on, and I soooo look forward to it. I just want you to know there are animal lovers out here who know the path you are walking and we are praying for you and for your babies…they are our fur babies…. Namaste, Marion

    • Victoria
      Reply

      Colette,
      My name is Victoria. I read your biography and connected to many many trials you have under gone. At 20 I even read cards but gave it up for God. I am Jew by my Mother like you but am more of a spiritual blood type B independent type. When you lived in NH I also lived there. Now I live in Connecticut with my love of life and and savior. Because he gave me hope. When I was really reaching out to God a few years ago I dated a man with a sick dog. The dog underwent Accupuncture and this was the only thing that helped. Please try this. something inside of me needed to read this email and I believe this could be why. Lots of love and God bless!

    • Kristi
      Reply

      Prayers are with you for Beanie. I’ve had a dog with seizures before and I know how heart breaking it can be. May it all have the best outcome

    • Shari
      Reply

      Blessed Colette,

      Our prayers for Beanie and you are sent with light and love surrounding both of you. It reminded me that we are only here for a little time and that we are God’s. He loves Beanie and all of us more than we can imagine (I know hard to believe) and that is where surrender comes in. You have done the right thing and Beanie is in God’s hands now, you have done your part now God will do his part.

      Light and Love,
      Shari

    • Brenda
      Reply

      Hi Collette
      Big hugs! I know how hard it is to see our fur babies having problems. If only they could talk! I know from personal experience that it is hard when you don’t know what to do for them and you feel helpless because you try everything you can think of to help them, and no answer can be found. It is hard to surrender and go with the flow. You never know if you should push harder, or give in to the facts, whatever they are. Sending light and love your way. Prayers for all of you.

    • Safena
      Reply

      I wish you and Beanie much comfort and strength. I think watching a loved one go thru pain and discomfort is one of the hardest things we have to go thru here. Sometimes it feels like too much. I personally go thru anger at the seemingly senselessness of it, then the no choice kicks in and I have to surrender. Beanie is one of the luckiest souls on earth to have such an amazingly loving Mom. Beanie knows on some level what is happening and I believe you will know what is the right next step. Beanie will let you know. I hope too this is a blip in Beanie’s life and you will both come out of this with a blessing. My heart and prayers go out to both of you and the other family members in your home. Trust me…i have bargained my $#@$ off and sometimes I swear it worked and other times I’ve just had to accept the higher plan. Much love to you both. You are both being held right now. That I know for sure.

    • Dorothy
      Reply

      Dear Colette-
      When I was 17 my brother had a bad motorcycle accident and we did not know if he would survive. I went through all the bargaining you are talking about, so I know how you came to where you are now in releasing this to God’s will. So many people prayed for us, sent food and supported us, but perhaps the best gift was a neighbour who had a brother that survived a terrible accident, so he brought us hope. Where there’s
      Life there is hope. Prayers for Beanie and you.

    • Lori Ruth Ingram
      Reply

      Dear Colette,
      I am so sorry about Beanie. I lost one of my pets, Punkx on Valentine’s Day. My other cat and I, Sylvester (a tuxedo cat) miss Punkx so much. He had kidney failure and could no longer defecate or urinate. He was so miserable and was growling at us it hurt so much. But he let me care for him. Can you imagine giving an enema to a cat? When I took him to the vet there was nothing to do. They could operate, but the anesthesia would either kill him or make him incapacitated, so I opted to put him to sleep. I have watched many people die horrible deaths…I could not see that for Punky-Punkx . He could not meow as a kitten until now, he growled… squeaked. went “ooop-oooP” and did tricks! Sexy -was full out frontal belly exposure…Breakdance..”Break It Down”- was belly exposure and wiggling on his back..sometimes with a paw clap. Why am I not rich now? Because as soon as he would see a camera..He would stand up and ignore us for the rest of the day!LOL! Well, he went to sleep in my arms which took an hour under sedation; and once asleep received the shot to stop his heart without pain. He looked me in my eye as I sung my favorite Rickie Lee Jones…and the music playing during his final shot was “Blinded by the Light!” I knew all the words, I am secretly a RockBaby and I sung it loudly..Yes the vet was even crying! But the next day, Sylvester and I were sitting together and Sylvester was purring a wee bit and going in for a rub..and we both heard the motor-like purr of Punkx..the loud, sounding like a gassed-up Harley purr. And Sylvester stopped to listen… we waited and knew that Punkx is still here..And for once I thanked God that knowing dead entities was one of my gifts…I get tired sometimes. a lot of things dead people want, well we just can’t control..But Punkx is one step away, across an unseen threshold..and me and Sylvester will see him there one day!

    • Deb
      Reply

      Dear Colette,

      My heart goes out to you as from one animal lover to another. Our animals are not just pets, they are our family and it is so painful to see them ailing. You have helped touch so many of us with your beautiful spirit and teachings and hope that Beanie is touched with God’s healing and that you and your husband are wrapped in His love for strength to see this through. A prayer for Sebastian too. May the angels guide you through this and know that you are in my prayers as well as many others. I am going through this with my son so my heart goes out to you. We just have to let go and let God. Many blessings and thank you for your wonderful work that you do!

    • Anjali
      Reply

      Dear Colette,

      I have sent a ‘highest good’ prayer for Beanie. May she recover fully and help her dear Mama and family not worry too much.
      I say a prayer for you and Mark and Sebastian too. May you all be comforted in knowing that so many of us care for you and want you all to be well.

      Thank you dear Colette for all the wonderful blogs/newsletters you write. All the timely stories you impart. They have a way of going straight to my heart. I always look forward to receiving your weekly blog. You are so very touchingly eloquent. Thank you for your light.

      Anjali

    • doreen
      Reply

      My sweet Molly passed away at home just two weeks ago, she had cancer. she was our most lovable wheaten terrier and I was blessed to share time with her for the last 13 years. what a beautiful gift of light and love she brought into my daily life. I think our pets, especially mans best friend ..the dog …greatest gift is that they truly seem to have No Ego….if only we as humans could also diminish our egos…what a loving world we could manifest…much love and prayers that your Beanie finds the comfort she so deserves, what ever that may be… as well as those whom love her.. In Grace and with gratitude, Doreen

    • Rosslyn Picton
      Reply

      Dear Colette,
      I send healing to your little four-legged love!! It is simply painful to watch any of our loved ones go through any discomfort. I pray that you find the cause and a solution without “Beanie” going through too much!!

      Best Wishes,
      Rosslyn Picton
      Toronto, ON.

    • Tamera
      Reply

      Dear Colette, I am sending prayers of “healing” for Beanie and prayers of “comfort” for you. In Love and Light.

      • Colette Baron-Reid
        Reply

        thankyou.. Beanie died last night … so I will accept the comfort and will see the quickness of her passing because so many wished her well..

        • Sue Ronnenkamp
          Reply

          Colette, my heart goes out to you for your loss. Many thoughts and prayers will be with you.

    • Nancie
      Reply

      Colette, our pets are our fur children and as their guardians, for all the unconditional love and support they give us, it is our privilege and duty to care for them in whatever way we can. All they ask is that we be their voice and love them now and ever after. Your Beanie knows your love and knows you will do what’s best in the greatest good for them. I’m not saying anything you don’t already know. My Abbey started suffering from seizures at age two… We did every test under the sun, short of the spinal tap. Her seizures are of unknown origin. She is on meds ( not phenobarbital )… It’s a human seizure med. She started this at 2 and she’s now 14…. She seeks me out moments before a seizure ( if she has one) and I get down on the floor and hold her, talk to her ( even though she’s deaf now) and keep her safe until she stands up and shakes it off. The med she takes is Zonisamide

  • Debbie
    Reply

    (((hugs))) Colette! Wrapping you in strength, peace, and comfort. May Beanie be well. Blessings to you and yours.

  • Madina
    Reply

    Dear Colette, thank you for your openness. I am giving you a BIG hug! Much Love and Light to you and your beloved ones.

  • Leslie
    Reply

    Hi Colette,
    I am sending my love. I find this part of loving animals is the hardest for all of us. I had to put my dearest companion down several years ago but to tell you the truth…we both (her and I) new it was time…however, this did not make it any easier. When my husband and I took her to the vet, she laid on the blanket on the floor, with her eyes closed and did not move, like she was exhausted…she lay like this for several minutes, when the vet came in to send her on her way to heaven, I told her that it was okay to go and that she was going to a place where she could feel good again. Although, I second guessed myself many times…I felt at peace with my decision! I know she is watching over us, even today, chasing mice, laying in the sun and running free!!! Very often it is difficult for us to remove our emotions in these kinds of situations. I feel your prayers and questions may have been answered. There are no answers…it may be her time to be set free…where she can run, play and chase butterflies. No matter what you decide…you are sent many hugs and love. I do not take lightly the decision you have to make as I too will have to make this decision again! It will always be a part of my life as dogs, cats and horses are so much a part of me. Take care Colette and God Bless!

    • Colette Baron-Reid
      Reply

      thanx for your kindness… I know whatever will be will be – staying in the moment. 😉

  • Lori
    Reply

    Dear Colette,
    My dog, Mingus was my ‘first’ baby before my daughter came along. When we brought my daughter home; Mingus went through this routine of running from window to window; then he would poke his head over the top of her bassinet. This went on for days! Our pets are a part of the family. He comforts me when I am sad and will not leave my side when I am hurt or sick. My husband often calls him ‘mommy’s boy’ as he follows me through the house and does not like to leave unless I am coming too! These beautiful creatures are sent to love, protect and comfort us unconditionally. I think I remember reading that you adopted one of your dogs if not both. I am reminded of a bumper sticker that reads, “who saved who?” I’m sure you feel the feeling is mutual. Sending healing thoughts and energy your way.

  • Leesa Sereda
    Reply

    Praying for the highest good of all. When in doubt, and especially when I have little to no control over the situation, I remind myself to “surrender” I.e. not to give up but give it to God, having faith and being at peace with the knowledge that whatever happens was for the highest good, even if it doesn’t seem obvious at the time. When I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer 8 years ago, i surrendered and that was the start of an amazing healing. I am praying for Beanie and your family to have the strength and love to face this challenge in faith.

  • Shawn and Lyn
    Reply

    Dearest Colette

    All of us with four legged friends know what you are going through. Our dogs Sully and Oliver send kisses. We send our loving thoughts. With our animals we have the choose to be humane.

  • Diana Boles
    Reply

    Thy will be done! How hard that is when we feel the need to control the outcome. When we are a “take action” kinda Gal (or Guy)——-“take a comfortable seat & wait” feels so contradictory to our core. We so often have to answer the needs of others without them knowing that we are taking the luxurious breath of patience. Whether fur baby or two legged off spring, “Feed me, get me, bring me, drive me, play with me, read to me, walk me, pet me” and on and on. So now we find ourselves in a place where breath feels more like panic. A place where we have lost the ability to take action. A place where remembering that patience comes from wisdom. A place where we forget how wise we are. Where our wisdom allows us the luxurious breath of patience. A place of abandoned control. A place where we must fluff up our wisdom and know that the best control is in the Hands of the Higher Power.
    Candles glowing and prayers flowing for your Beannie and Sebastian, and for you and your hubs, Mark. Blessings, toots!

  • Jane Francis
    Reply

    Holding positive, loving, healing thoughts for beanie (and you). Thank you for authentically sharing with us and offering us the opportunity to hold and support you energetically and with prayer … it is an honor.
    I thoroughly enJOYed your Daily reading course … I feel it is adding to my reading skills!
    Still a bit technically challenged ~ have only 1 time been able to figure out how to get the page where I can submit a reading … and cannot seem to get into the Journal except for a partial try. Trusting I will figure it out or find someone to show what I am doing incorrectly!! 🙂
    Meanwhile, know I am continuing to work on my skills and I enJOY the weekly lessons and readings!
    HEART HUGS ~ JANE

  • Angela
    Reply

    Colette, you give so much to me and others. The least that I can do is send you a hug and a prayer for you and your precious Beanie x

  • Jennifer windsor
    Reply

    hugs your way. I have 2 little dogs that are the light of my life. They ground me in my horrific pain of dealing with a son with addiction. The loss of his brother to addiction just over a year ago. a husband that is totally disabled. As well as now trying to help his aged mother transition to long term care. this is a time in our life that should be a time of joyful retirement. I tell you all this because you Inspire me every day. I send you a hug and love put in the hands of the universe and the outcome will be the best for your baby and you. My hope and prayers are that you can love your self and inspire your self as much as you do others everyday.

    • DLLGRJandfurballs
      Reply

      Awesome, Jennifer
      LOV: ) Blessings
      Miracles do/will Happen!
      Added Light to All Lights!
      Colette is a good kid, I agree! LOL : )

  • isabelle
    Reply

    London calling sending a huge hug love for all your family divine wee dogs with huge hearts. bless em all loveizxxx

  • Ramesh Parmar
    Reply

    Dear Colette
    Very Good Day
    The more we receive, the more we have to give. Hold nothing to the self, but give and give on giving, and so make room for more to infill us. The more aware we are of the changes which taking place, and the more open we are to them, the faster can they come about. So be open Heart to receive and pass on to others.

    • DLLGRJandfurballs
      Reply

      Full agreement, Ramesh:
      In the giving – not expecting to receive – is true Divinity.
      Miracles do/will Happen!
      LOV: )

  • Roweana
    Reply

    you story about your dog touched me dearly. As I have just been going through the same sort of thing with my dog. Have tried pain medication, anti depressants, behaviour management, reiki and had countless readings and very little success. I love my 5 year old and don’t want her to continue biting, have just put her on more medication that is making her dopey and we lost a little of her beauty. Hopefully it will settle down after she has been on the medication a bit longer. I have been asking for spirit to help and I trust they will lead me to the right path for her. As I am sure they will with you dog. Best wishes Row

    • Colette Baron-Reid
      Reply

      hugs …to you

    • DLLGRJandfurballs
      Reply

      Roweana:

      The local library and the system of branches within a state or WorldCat are sources for helpful “positive reinforcement” techniques. I found great sources for months and will always revisit them as well as recommend them to others especially those who fear behaviors that can really be controlled. My pups love peanut butter. I buy in the local supercenter store – real ingredients not artificial stuff; a little bit of the treat for every desired behavior ignoring, or affirming undesired behavior goes a long way. Dogs will be canines who were not afraid of people wolves are pack animals not looking for a human companion whereas dogs do that. The Dog by Linda Case is an interesting start and might be available from someone who does not need it anymore or a local university to lend you. All sources especially fun and “when you see it really does work” (dvd-video’s) sources give you the motivation to continue forward in helping your pup communicate in mellower manner. All three of mine have different ways of approaching the same object because each has had unique to them experiences with others. Sometimes when my cats do not allow to be touched it is because they are ill. If your pup sometimes bites at inappropriate times first he/she needs to be physically well, then loved, and practice “positive reinforcement” with first food, hand signals, words, then tone and praise. You Can Do This! Give yourself and year and then see where you are with your pup; in the mean time keep him/her out of reach of situations where biting would be a problem. My one pup has potential to do that – it is something to divert, learn about, heal it, and monitor/maintenance. Keep the Faith though. Everything combined together is the answer above all Gotta Lov’em. Take a firm stance on “no bite”. Your pup may have missed out on early or secondary socialization but you can work on turning it around, everyday. Read or skim all books and watch all available training sources to be on top of techniques – it works in time.

  • Victoria
    Reply

    Ps met you in Providence at the convention center and we talked for a bit. I had to take my mom to see Sylvia before she moved on-That’s where I got your Biography book and CD. Sylvia Brown was there and I specifically a beautiful turquoise necklace. You have angels that dance around you and a sense of joy & peace. I hope I hear of something local again. It really is so funny I lived in North Hanpton NH when you lived in Portsmouth. Now I’m in Beooklyn Ct. I don’t believe in coincidence. Lots of love again and Accupuncture for your little angel

  • leona
    Reply

    Dear Colette,
    I rise early today as my doggie LuLu hears one of our cats outside the bedroom (and cat patrole is a serious duty in LuLus world)…..and make I coffee and check emails. My heart opens wide for you and Beanie- Colette. I am sending blessings of serene beauty now. You are not carrying this alone- your sharing has invited the love of the collective (such a good thing). I am holding your concerns and worries to the light right now.
    Blessings Colette~
    Leona

  • Donna Paris
    Reply

    Dear beautiful Soul, as I read your words above, I was right there with you, by your side, holding your hand in comfort. I too had a beloved that had a brain tumor, Moses a yorkie, a beautiful soul he was/is. It has been 4 years now and there is not a day that I do not long to watch him run across the lawn to his favorite spot. The day we helped him transition, I wrapped him in a blanket and brought him outside and carried him to each of his favorite places to lay on the lawn, when I laid him down, he would lift his head with his eyes closed and just soak up the beautiful August sun!

    It was at that point that I realized there really are not any words that bring comfort, except to say that you are loved, Beanie is loved. Letting go and releasing the outcome is hard sometimes, powerlessness comes to mind for me as that is how I felt at the time, I would have done anything for Moses especially for him not to feel ANY discomfort. His tumor took him over and it was an act of pure love that he transitioned in my arms. Several Mediums have seen him very close to me since his transition and I am so grateful to have him as one of my animal guides.

    Colette, you, your husband and Beanie are in my heart, all wrapped up with love & light!
    God Bless
    Donna

  • cheryl
    Reply

    Colette,

    I am sending you hugs and prayers for Beanie, yourself and your family..

    Love and peace

    Cheryl

  • Jenny Smagala
    Reply

    Dear Colette,
    Here is a big sparkly hug for you and Beanie. I applaud your balanced perspective even when you are scared and sad. I know what it is like to watch your dear animal friend have seizures. It’s never good. But there will be a resolution, and there will be a time of calm, and you already know how to trust in highest good. You already know the shining light that is Beanie’s soul – the beautiful, eternal presence that is her. And you know, don’t you, that she will always be a part of your soul, even if she chooses to surrender the physical realm for a frolic in the Etheric fields. No matter what happens, it will be her choice.

    Lots of love to you, Colette, in this sad and fearful time. Keep your heart whole, my friend. Beanie would not want to see it broken.

    oxox Jenny

  • Elu
    Reply

    Oh Colette! My heart goes out to you. Sitting here with soggy tissues, as I relive the grief I experienced when the time came to cross that rainbow bridge, for the the kitty I got my for kids when they were little, who became my companion cat when they grew up and went off to university..
    It’s not easy, is it. Pets teach us about unconditional love.
    Bless you for having the courage to share, and sending you and Beanie much love, and warm hugs.

  • Shelley
    Reply

    Prayers and love for you, Colette, and for your dear little Beanie. ♥

  • Gina C.
    Reply

    Hugs, warm and gentle, for you and Beanie. And thanks for your words of wisdom and insight.

  • Mary Jo
    Reply

    Colette
    Prayers for your Beanie for the highest and best good. Dogs are such wonderful gifts from Heaven.

    Xo

  • Barbara
    Reply

    Prayers and positive energy for both you and Beanie. Big cyber hug to you.

  • Rachel Medhurst
    Reply

    This has been a huge life lesson for me for the last year. I’ve been in the zone of switching from surrender to bargaining for a long time and I’m finally settling into surrender and acceptance.

    My old boy suffers from arthritis but he isn’t generally in pain so he’s happy at the moment.

    Huge hugs, Colette.
    xxxx

  • cheryl
    Reply

    Prayers for you and yours.

  • sue montalbano
    Reply

    Sending prayers to you and your fur babies. I love the serenity prayer and I will continue to pray for you.

  • Kimberley
    Reply

    Dear Colette,
    My heart goes out to you! My dogs are my family and my teachers. It is so very difficult to be objective in a situation where ones heart is concerned, especially when it comes to our pets. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Beanie…BIG hug for you all!

  • Maggie
    Reply

    My heart is full of love and positive energy going out to you and Beanie. We love our little furry children and hate it when they are so ill that they are beyond our love and care. I just went thru the same experience with my loved one of 11 years and unfortunately my little one had to leave me. But he always is on my mind and in my heart. They leave little doggie prints in our heart! He has sent me two messages let me know he is fine and sometimes i look down and see him by my side! I miss him terribly but know that the most humane thing was done in the end. Hugs to you both! See you in London!
    l

  • Ana
    Reply

    Sending you a big hug and that Divine love soround you.

  • Johanne
    Reply

    Sending you love and warm hugs. My girls are 12 and 5 years old. Lucy (12) is showing me signs of the beginnings of her senior years. She found me when I couldn’t put one foot in front of the other in order to climb up and out of my black hole. I can’t imagine not having her in my life. Be strong and hang onto to love and hugs everyone is sending you and know that you are not alone.

    • DLLGRJandfurballs
      Reply

      I agree, Johanne:
      Remember.
      Remember to Remember
      Yesterday, Today, and for Tomorrow
      LOV: )

  • Karishma
    Reply

    Hugs!

  • Stephanie Harris
    Reply

    Colette,
    Sending a hug your way from Michigan…
    I hope this note finds Beanie comfortable and pain free. My heart goes out to you and your family as it is never easy to witness a family member such as Beanie suffer in such pain and feel helpless because they can’t talk and tell you what is wrong with them.

    On a side note, thank you for the hidden gems in your message which is a friendly reminder for me. I am battling with the Chicken Little and Polyanna right now as the current state of my future will shift tremendously this week. Needless to say I am a bit unsettled and feel as if I am indeed free falling.

    Peace & Blessings Colette,
    Stephanie

  • june
    Reply

    Dearest Colette,
    I feel your pain and I send hugs to you, I lost my best buddy three weeks ago, it was suddenly, unexpected right in front of me , I felt so
    helpless as I am sure you are also feeling this way my prayers are with you and Beanie, we who love animals truly feel your pain lol

  • irene
    Reply

    Colette,
    I am sorry for all your heartache right now. I will keep your babies in my prayers and you. Especially for little angel Beanie. I think I speak for all of us, we thank you for helping us even when you yourself are going through such a difficult time, by the blogs, the cards, your guidance, your love. We are sending it right back to you.

    Love, Irene (gardenia on FB)

  • Annemarie
    Reply

    Dear Collette, I’m sorry your Beanie is having such a rough time (and you). You mentioned “animal communicators” in your message. I don’t know if this will help, but I’ve consulted with this woman (Cindy Smith) several times on issues with my furbabies (by phone). I’m sure you and your vet are doing all that’s possible, but I’m offering this recommendation as another tool in case you need it. Cindy really helped me understand what was going on with my furbabies so that I could make adjustments for their well-being. http://www.animalsmith.com/ Best wishes to all of you!

  • Jaqueline
    Reply

    Dearest Colette,
    Sending you a big tight hug and sending healing to Beanie for the best outcome for her highest good!
    Love and prayers abound

  • Leigh
    Reply

    Blessings of love to you and yours, Colette. Praying for the best and highest good… And, embracing you in a heartfelt hug.

  • Rhea
    Reply

    I would do anything for my dogs also. Seeing the right outcome for all involved (even if it isn’t what we want). Sending big HUGS to you and yours.

  • Esther
    Reply

    “Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.” – Anatole France

    Sending you a hug to wrap you in peace of mind and sending Beanie peace & love as well to lessen the pain, discomfort. You are both Loved

  • Elizabeth
    Reply

    Dearest Colette,
    I just went through what you’re going through with my wonderful cat Oscar. After 4 weeks of nursing him through a progressive brain disease and trying everything he died in the midst of an MRI. He was only 6 and almost blind from a congenital condition, but I loved him more than any animal I’ve had the privilege to share my life. He broke my heart open in a way no human or animal relationship ever has. It will be 4 weeks on Thursday that he is gone now and I still have moments of deep deep sorrow. But I just let myself cry.

    I think animals know the future further than we do. When I asked my guides through an akashic records communication back when he first got sick they told me he knew he wasn’t up for the journey ( I am getting ready to sell my house and move) he was tired of being blind and ready to go back home. We made a pact he and I that he reincarnate in the next few years. I got a clear voice (when I didn’t expect to get one) from him saying “yes Mama, and when I come back I want to look just like Yodi (his svelte Tonkinese/Devon Rex brother -Oscar was a little chubby teddy bear of a Tabby) because Yodi’s handsome and can run fast and jump high.” He also told me that even if he was a girl I was to call him Oscar. That tiny bit of communication, whether it actually happens or not, keeps me going through this grief right now.

    I know the heartbreak you are feeling. It has been a journey, a tough one I’ll never forget, but for the 6 years I had with him it was totally worth it. He’s changed me for the better, the roots of love in me are deeper and more compassionate than before. I wish I was there to comfort you.

    With much love,
    Elizabeth

    • DLLGRJandfurballs
      Reply

      Elizabeth:

      Beautiful Oscar : )
      Miracles can/do/will Happen!
      LOV: )

  • Barb
    Reply

    Hugs, hugs and more hugs! I know exactly how you feel ad would give anything if I could do something to relieve you of this suffering and uncertainty, but I know that we have to go through this stuff because it is part of being human (the part that stinks, I know, but there you have it). I remember when my male cat and my best buddy, Charlie, was dying. I was too poor to take him to a vet to help his suffering end – he too was having seizures and his system was obviously shutting down – and all I could do was bargain with God: “If you have to take him, at least take him quickly instead of prolonging his suffering. I will do anything if you will just give him some peace.” I stayed up with him all night and he finally passed early in the morning. I will always remember that regardless of how angry I was with God for making him go through that, over the years I have come to know that I was supposed to go through it, too. Maybe one day I’ll know why. For now, I’m putting my arms around the two of you virtually and sending you love.

  • JD
    Reply

    Colette – thanks for being so open about the pain and helplessness that you feel about the health of your beloved pooch. What is it that Gibran says in The Prophet about love? To know the pain of too much tenderness? Blessings and prayers your way!

    I’ve learned about surrender this year. I was up for two jobs and was absolutely convinced I would have one only to find out that I got neither. I know this is for my highest good, even though my now situation causes me moments of panic and restlessness. I also know that things can change for the better in an instant, and when it’s right, my new venture will come to me with ease and joy. So I’m breathing and relaxing, knowing this surrender will in God’s timing bring about a new path and adventure.

    xoxo

  • Dianne
    Reply

    Ugh! I so feel for you. Hugs and love your way. Xoxox

  • Terri C.
    Reply

    Dearest Colette,

    You look so beautiful in your video today. In spite of your pain, your whole being is radiating. I sense God is preparing you for something bigger and clearing a path for you through your beloved Beanie. Every animal lover who reads your blog, understands the roller coaster you are on, and we know you will give 1000% for her highest good. We gather in prayer with you.

    And how symbolic that you have a butterfly pictured with you. Wings are the emblem of the adult butterfly, after their transformation within the chrysalis, and flight becomes a way of life for however long the butterfly lives.

    Take great care of yourself and know that you are surrounded in the Love and Light of your tribe.

    xoxoxo

  • Dana
    Reply

    Hi, Colette,
    I am sending you the biggest hug I can. Your question was “have any of us ever felt powerless.” I am going to give a different take on things. Last Feb 25 my daughter gave birth to a 1lb 3oz baby girl. She was so premature there really was no medical hope. The doctors were negative and grave. My daughter kept smiling and positive. She was reprimanded for this and they felt she didn’t understand what was happening. We all remained positive. I contacted healers from all over the world. Everyone prayed for her. After 7 months in hospital and 8 surgeries she came home September 25 and on Wed we will be celebrating the first birthday of a totally healthy tiny little girl. We felt helpless every day for 7 months. We fought when we needed to fight and we surrendered in between. She still scares us periodically over things that are minor. We have not relaxed yet. Letting go and letting God is difficult no matter who you are, what you know or how much practice you have. We are human and it is hard. We go through it and we come out on the other side a little different than how we started. No matter what the outcome. I am saying a prayer that you and Beanie also receive a miracle, they do happen. Love and hugs.

    • Colette Baron-Reid
      Reply

      love this…

    • DLLGRJandfurballs
      Reply

      Dana:

      … this is true …
      “We are human and it is hard. We go through it and we come out on the other side a little different than how we started”
      Miracles do/will Happen!

  • Ellie Ballentine
    Reply

    Sending you deep love and extra warm hugs, Colette! I feel a lot of LOVE in this moment. Blessings. xo

  • DLLGRJandfurballs
    Reply

    Hug0hug0

    “God grant us the serenity
    to
    Accept the things we cannot change
    Courage to change the things we can
    and the
    Wisdom to know the difference “

    When I had my reading with you years ago
    your pup(s) wanted to get up on your lap.
    You said “they don’t usually do this…”

    Something happened because my pup got
    afflicted a few weeks ago also, the money is
    not available to treat him and it knocked me
    for a loop at a worse financial time. I have not
    been able to go back to the vet in the past two weeks,
    and am loving and watching, trying to heal
    with time and foods however the gland is still
    protruding but not hideously swollen as it
    was after the discovery. Obedience has been
    better for food rewards like peanut butter which
    they all love.

    One Day at a Time.

    I just love them every day they are with me and
    I plan my life around them because they are my
    responsibility.

    Healing is a Blessing!
    Miracles do/will Happen!

    Hug0hug0 for your fur-babes, family, career, life, the world, Amen
    Add Light to All Lights
    LOV: )
    Surrounding Beanie and Sebastian
    with
    Pastel Sparkles of
    Gold, Pink, Blue, Green, and White
    Wisdom, LOV: ), Protection, Healing, and the Brilliant Light/Heat of Spirit/Higher Power
    This goes for All of Us gathered here …

    I envisioned “Seba” and “the Bean” stamping their little paws on these sparkly ether mats of color asking them which colors they like. Both were given the white first, then Bean picked pink and I gave her all the rest and she wrapped herself in gold. Seba kept stamping his little paws on mats of all the colors also wrapping himself in gold. When it came to pink though I told them how much their mommy, you Colette, loves them very, very, very, very much – there is no limit…

    If you do what is available in modern medicine in a “safe manner” then what is left is the LOV: ) you heal with a home…

    Keep Well
    Loyally, Always Grateful for your Blessed Sharing
    You are Fabulously and Luminously Loving
    A feather in your/our cap!
    Stay U

  • Nancy
    Reply

    Dear Colette, Sending you a hug and healing energy for Beanie that whatever shall transpire will be with ease and grace. I can feel your pain and confusion and ask that you honor that within you that so wants to hold onto Beanie with the deepest of love. Your love for this beautiful little spark of light will be enough for whatever decisions need to be made. It has always been enough. Trust my dear trust. Sending you love and a hug, Nancy

  • Rachel
    Reply

    Sending you and your family (canine and human) so much light and love. I know how hard it is. My dog Jackson was with me for 15 years, and there was a whole lot of life that happened. Even though he passed over two years ago, not a day goes by that I don’t think of him and the joy and laughter he brought to my life. xo, Rachel.

  • Renee Sugar
    Reply

    Dear Colette; I wish I had some words of wisdom to lessen your pain.
    Witnessing the suffering of another creature furry or human
    makes us feel so vulnerable, and powerless. You are doing everything in your
    power medically to minimize the pain and discomfort. Know that you are surrounded
    by the prayers and thoughts of others who do understand the animal/human bond and
    how deeply it touches so many people. Know that love and peace wraps its arms around you.
    Distance doesn’t matter. We are with you and include you in our prayers for the strength to
    carry out the Divine plan.
    Lots of Love and Hugs.
    Renee

  • Beverly Westcott
    Reply

    I know the pain and uncertainty you are going through. I have a little Japanese Chin who has seizures and they don’t know why. I send requests for healing and prayers through the Universe that you will get through this quickly and your baby will be ok. I surround you both with the White Light of protection. I send you hugs.

  • Janet
    Reply

    Heartfelt prayers, hugs and blessings to you and your family, Collette. Our dogs and cats are extensions of us. They are constantly imparting messages if we can step out of our pain into the silence and listen…..always easier said than done❤️

  • Beth Ann
    Reply

    Dear Colette,
    Our dogs are our “children” and as a mother we want to protect them and we love them fiercely. Whatever their journey, make no mistake they feel the fierce devotion and love you have for them. I believe it is this that helps them get through.
    Big Hugs,
    Beth-Ann

  • Tess
    Reply

    Colette,
    Thank you for sharing. Love, light, blessings and prayers to you and yours.
    Warm Hugs and prayers of highest good for all.
    Tess

  • T
    Reply

    Colette,

    Prayers for both Beanie and for you, my dogs are as much a part of the family as my kids and have agonized over more than one pet! I will pray for the best outcome for all according the highest good. that’s about the best thing I can think of to do for the two of you.

  • Kathy
    Reply

    Hugs and prayers for you and Beanie.

  • Maria
    Reply

    Colette, I know what your going through! I went through a similar thing with my dog. I tried to heal her but I think my hands were too hot for her. I kept trying…. and I also took her to the vet but they kept telling me nothing was wrong. I argued with them! By the time they found the cancer it was too late. I was going to keep her ashes with me…then I thought , no she loved the outdoors. I released her in a beautiful place and I pray that she is happy. I believe she is in heaven and sometimes she comes to visit me (I am sure of that). My prayers are with you and your loving Beanie. Know that Beanie understands everything your doing and the love that you have and express for her. It’s always hard for us to surrender when it’s our loved ones that we want to protect. Our God is a loving God and Beanie will go to a child in heaven who wants to love and play with her. You will see her again! Prayers, Love, Light and Peace.
    Maria

  • Debbie
    Reply

    Dear Colette,
    You described that limbo place so many of us go during our animals’ traumas. Can’t think straight is how I put it. Years ago, when my horse started having seizures, I was at work when I got the call, and I couldn’t do another productive thing. My brain went into fried mode. I had a wonderful boss, who told me to go be with my horse. My horse didn’t die that day, but he was on his way out… Since, I have been through sickness and health and loss with other dear animals, including cats and birds… Many dog losses during my childhood.

    Sometimes the reality is too harsh to bear, no matter what spiritual spin we put on it, but all we can do is our best.

    I love that you love your animals so much, and wish you the very best for them.

    Sending love~~

  • Heather
    Reply

    My prayers and blessings are with sweet Beanie and her people. Blessings to all our 4-legged guardians! I thank God for them.

  • Cath
    Reply

    Dearest Colette,
    Hearing your pain in every word of this week’s Oracle post, like all healers, I first wanted to make it go away. But then I remembered the deeper teachings about pain being our greatest teacher and I thought, Colette knows this so what can I do to help her best? It came to me to do a one-card reading for you and I decided to use the Oracle card deck you created with P.C. Cast “Wisdom of the House of Night” even though I have done your on-line course (loved it!), have all your other decks (Avalon is my fav), I believed some perspective was called for and thought this choice of deck would lend some objectivity, since it has your energy through and through it but more like a mentor, or a wise one, rather than a creator. Anyway, I asked “What does Colette need to know right now to help her through this time with Beanie?” As soon as I drew the card, I knew it was the only answer: “Beauty”, which has a lush red rose on it, shedding a petal, with an aura of golden light behind: The caption in the booklet reads: “Every rose has its thorns, and the symbol of beauty reminds you that beauty is never perfect, just as the beautiful experiences you have will not be perfect for ever.” The booklet goes on to explain about keeping positive, but I have a feeling here for you right now of the Buddhist teaching of impermanence. Appreciate the beauty in every moment because this too shall pass. I love you, Cath

  • Gale
    Reply

    Positive energies to you and the dogs Colette – I have, breed and show irish terriers. They are family! I have found that energy healing through acupuncture helps quite a bit with pain management and if your acupuncturist is gifted , it too can manifest into channeling the master breeders …for me I have found that a gift of education and words from Spirit. I ask Spirit to guide with with the best actions for the dogs. I try very hard to feed the dogs the best that I can, and also offer filtered water, as the heavy metals are very problematic and can create neurological problems. Small tumors can create seizures, and it’s so frustrating when vets cannot diagnose, only to say – unknown cause. Have any inoculations been given recently? Change in foods? Processed treats that are not “made in the USA”?

    • Colette Baron-Reid
      Reply

      thanx so much for this wow I cannot believe how many people wrote in !! OMG. Thank you for your thoughts. We just heard from the vets. Beanie has 4 ruptured disc – degenerative disc disease and a brain malformation that has caught up to her. So she will manage on some steroids and I am going to go the alternative therapy route since she is playing and eating and completely normal between episodes. Thank GOD its not what they thought and although this is painful it is only painful because she has moved a certain way. The spinal fluid has built up near her brain stem and gets inflamed. So we can make her comfortable until she lets us know when its time to go. I won’t put her through an operation. – by the way I fed my dogs Chicken Poppers – made in china 5 years ago and both dogs went into full seizure within minutes of the other. I called the company but it went nowhere. I feed them organic home cooked meals now!

      • DLLGRJandfurballs
        Reply

        Peace of Mind : ) Colette

        Inspired to make healthy treats at home for the pups, thanks.

        LOV: )

  • Michelle Mulnix
    Reply

    HUGS!!! <3 <3 <3

  • Rina
    Reply

    HUG!
    asking for the Most Benevolent Outcome for all. Not in our hands. Love and Light to you.

  • Deanna
    Reply

    I truly believe our pets are little angels sent to us from Heaven, they help us keep our hearts open…they are little angels meant just for “us”…and sent at just the right moment…please know I am sending you a big hug right now.
    Sending you so much light, love and comfort…you are all in my thoughts and prayers…xo

  • Alina
    Reply

    Sending you and your loved ones love and light to get thru those moments with Beanie. May the Angels bring you comfort and peace. I think of you often with love, thanking you for the moments when your words have comforted me….;) May the grace of God touch and heal Beanie.

    • DLLGRJandfurballs
      Reply

      That’s a lovely Blessing, Alina.
      Miracles do and will Happen : )

  • Cheryl
    Reply

    Prayers with you. I just went through similar circumstance with Candy my cat. It is very hard and my heart goes out to you. I also did everything I could for her and everyday I voiced it was in God’s hand. Prayers with you.

  • Anita
    Reply

    Prayers for you and Marc, Sebastian and poor Beanie. All will be well, whatever the hightest good outcome will be. Hugs to you all.

  • Genene
    Reply

    Ah, Colette, my heart goes out to you in a loving hug of positive energy. My doggie herd and I went through three years of seizures with my Lab/Shepherd mix dog. I became an expert in what seemed like everything related to seizures in dogs. I looked up the emotional cause of seizures in Louise Hay’s book, Heal Your Body, and came at treatment from that angle too, knowing dogs mirror our own issues. This was the third time my Stewart had been with me in this lifetime, always at critical times–when I was abused as a child, when I finally told my parents and was not believed, and when I was working on releasing this victim story. The last week of his third life, we finally got to the heart of this issue–he felt he had not protected me. However, it was not his role to protect me but to support me in the experiences I had chosen, and he did that with everything he had. His spirit was always with me and, last summer, he returned to me in a healthy physical (female!) body. Knowing everything I do, I still went through that crazy emotional roller coaster you talk about. So I want to add my support for you to that others have offered, and will continue to send positive energy to you, Beanie and your family.

  • Victoria
    Reply

    Colette….
    I read your blog and watched your video…It wasn’t easy for you to do this video and I THANK YOU for doing so with great courage.
    Sounds like a LOT of us in this forum know only too well, the depth of the pain experienced when we witness our animal persons suffer. NO SMALL TASK!
    I’ve been there 11 times in the last many years…but…the animal-persons SO TEACH US….and what hard lessons we have to learn….it’s always BITTERSWEET, is it not? Whew!
    Sending you Light and Love…in any way, shape or manner it comes to you….that “letting go” thingy is WICKED HARD! (Especially for those who are Capricorns!!! I SWEAR it!) I don’t know what sign you are…but as an astrologer….I see my clients feel their ways through life…no matter WHAT sign they are….The human condition is quite the challenge and quite the experience….
    Go gently, my friend…go gently….
    Victoria

  • Raewyn
    Reply

    Dear Colette. I SO feel for you in this current situation with Beanie. I also have a small dog whom I love with all my heart, so know how unconditionally they love and are devoted to us, as we are to them. Little Angels in disguise. I wish you all the best for her, and also know that what ever is best for her, will come about. So often we need to hand things over and the decision is out of our hands. You have done all you possibly could, how ever it pans out. Lots of love to you and your wee Beanie xoxo

  • Laurie
    Reply

    Colette, my little pom Peaches and I send you both our love!

  • Lynnda
    Reply

    Beanie has had great love from you and that love will be what she feels no matter what direction her soul takes. Watching a beloved pet suffer is almost impossible but somehow their wisdom guides us. I’m sure Beanie will guide you. Blessings, Colette. Sending love and faith that you are given what you want for Beanie. More time with her. xoxo

  • Kathryn
    Reply

    Dearest Colette,

    Please know that your precious Beanie is in the deepest of my prayers. I know painfully how excruciating your days are at this very moment. I know why you have been bargaining. Your embracing love for ever so sweet Beanie is with her… your baby, your daughter. I have been there and empathize with tears right with you. I wish so much that this was not happening.
    YOU are the sparkling beautiful being and you deserve all the support and love which extends to your precious Beanie each day.
    We are all right with you.

    Prayers for Beanie~ Sweetest being~~
    With love and embrace,
    Kathryn

  • Sharon
    Reply

    Colette,

    Just BE with your precious little girl. Enjoy every waking moment with her, knowing the outcome may not be what you would like. It is a bittersweet pill to swallow, but in the end you will be thankful for the undivided attention and love you gave her. It is terrible to watch the ones we love suffer so, especially those who cannot verbalize what they are feeling. Prayers, love, light and hugs to you.

    Sharon

  • Sylvia
    Reply

    Hey Colette,
    Have you tried bringing Beanie to a chiropractor who adjusts pets? I too had a lot of issues one day with my dog, and found out after spending a hefty sum of money that it was a pinched nerve. Worth a try! Big hug to you and the little one.

  • Jaime
    Reply

    Un Gran Abrazo sweet !!!

    A ntidoto especial es la Tranquilidad
    B aron plus
    R aid crearan en ti , aceptacion
    A nte el curso natural de la vida,
    Z ambullete por un instante en un
    O lvido del pasado y el futuro y siente la paz de tu sabiduria.

    There is not words , when this happen, but
    I just want to give you this thought :

    ABRAZO= hug

    the translation would be like :

    Special antidote is Tranquility
    Baron plus
    Raid will create in you, acceptance
    on the natural course of life,
    Dive for a moment on
    Forgetting the past and the future and feel the peace of your own wisdom.

    • DLLGRJandfurballs
      Reply

      Jaime

      “Forgetting the past and the future and feel the peace of your own wisdom”

      This antidote is key …
      Like Colette implies in her philosophies to be authentic which means being in the present moment neither in the ghostlands nor projecting outcomes.

      LOV: )
      Miracles do, can, and will Happen!

  • Michael
    Reply

    Hi Colette,

    Have you tried tapping on yourself around this issue? And have you tried tapping on Beanie? Maybe tapping around your feelings, helplessness, surrendering, etc. I know you are well aware and part of the tapping summit….but I still felt guided to mention it. : ) Sending you and your family prayers!

    XOXO

  • Marilyn
    Reply

    Hi Colette!

    I lived with a Marijuana Activist for many years & know Marc Emery – The “Prince of Pot” – Cannabis has so many uses – all healthy & really good for seizure disorders…actually “the only” medicine which has stopped near-death seizures in children seizing all day long… you can make some cannabis oil by cooking the bud in coconut oil on medium heat or soaking the bud in a high fat (i.e., Soy milk) solution overnight… The recipe for this milk is on David Suzuki’s web site!! Much Love to You as I sit here reading & crying… I’m all verklempt over the news as it’s bringing back memories of losing beloved fur babies.. Some people have used milk thistle extract when being told their pets were in liver failure & their pets lived a lot longer…as well I read that apple cider vinegar is great as well… but for seizures – you can’t beat Cannabis… Lots o’ Love & Hugs xoxoxoxoxo… P.S. Did you move into your new home yet? Just wondering as I’m a Dowser & work with “earth energies, etc.” I will do some energy work for you & your new home.. re: arthritis… I gave my cat Cartrophen injections & it worked very well… I’ll check re: brain malformation & see what I can do… Take it Easy (not easy huh?) xoxoxo

  • Maureen
    Reply

    Love, love and more love to you and to Beanie. Peace and heart hugs. They are such angels in our lives…

  • Delilah
    Reply

    You are doing the best thing and exactly what needs to be done with and for your dear sweet Beanie. You are being present with her process and being present with yours. Sending so much love and prayers for little Beanie girl and you during this challenging time. (((hugs))) Delilah

  • Princess Leelee
    Reply

    Love and hugs and present moment “highest goodness” to Beanie x

  • Le Anne in LA
    Reply

    Yes, Colette I understand you completely. I do the same thing as well. My dog has had seizures and it has been frustrating to not understand why or what to do… I have prayed with no answers whatsoever… My dogs are the best thing that have ever happened to me and I love them dearly! They sleep in my bed and are with me 24/7 as I work from home. I believe sometimes we have to let go and let god regardless of what we want. It is hard! We have desires but yet sometimes the universe knows best! I have been spiritual since age 19 studying everything spiritual… It started with my first book Out on a Limb by Shirley McClaine and never stopped… been fascinated with psychics my whole life… when I was in my marriage… I remember running up a bill of over $1000 or credit card on the psychic hotlines…. hahahahahahaha…. no one else thought it was funny! Then to finally find the best of the best in all psychics… YOU…. I tell everyone… eventually if you want something you will work your way to the top! But Yes, I do the bargaining thing! We are humans in a spiritual body on this physical plane… we are all going through similar things I am sure no matter how aware we become! Much Luv

  • Andrea
    Reply

    Dear Colette. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Beanie today! Your blog and forecasts each week help me through the days. I thank you so much for being You! and sharing it with us. Love Andrea

  • Jaime
    Reply

    Sorry… !!! is Reid !!! typewritten mistake

    A ntidoto especial es la Tranquilidad
    B aron plus
    R eid crearan en ti , aceptacion
    A nte el curso natural de la vida,
    Z ambullete por un instante en un
    O lvido del pasado y el futuro y siente la paz de tu sabiduria.

  • Eric
    Reply

    Colette,

    I read on your FB page that Beanie passed. I am so sorry for your loss; bear in mind that you can’t lose something when you know where it is. While you may be in pain now keep in mind that she is no longer in pain. There was a reason that she was brought into your life; that you were brought into each other’s lives. As you may be wondering if you had done all that you could for her maybe she had done all she could for you. Whether she was here to teach you serenity, compassion, to continue to “let go and let God”, or simply how to love unconditionally you both are enriched from the experience.

    It was tough for me when Rufus passed; no more barking, no more fur everywhere, no more fox holes in the backyard. I was entering another phase of my life; I had just turned 17 and was getting ready to go away to school for the first time. Like I mentioned in the pet post in your blog it’s been hard to forgive myself for feeling I didn’t do everything I could for him. Even still it’s been hard for me to get close to anything or anyone for fear of not being able to live up to their expectations. Then again, maybe these are MY expectations and I have to learn when some one loves you unconditionally they will love you “warts and all”. Maybe I need to learn serenity; to let go and let God when I can’t affect change, courage to act on those things I can change, and wisdom to know the difference. Another quote I like by Will Durant is “knowledge is power but wisdom is liberty”. I changed it to “knowledge is power but wisdom is divine”. We often know the “who, what, where, when, and how” of an event, but the “why” may be the hardest to grasp. The knowledge is the “who . . how” but the “why” is the wisdom. We may have the knowledge to, say, make a fire, but the wisdom to apply that knowledge, the when and when not to make a fire or the “why”, is divine. The ultimate wisdom lies with Spirit and as we obtain more wisdom through our life experience we get closer to our soul’s perfection and realizing our life’s purpose.

    I hope my words helped and you could understand my points; they made sense to me when I wrote them. :/ Thank you for sharing Beanie with the rest of us. I feel like I knew her and lost her too. We may not know the “why” Beanie was taken at this time, but Spirit, the ultimate wisdom, knows why and just know that when she brought you joy you brought joy to the rest of us and for that we are all better off for you having her in your life.

    • DLLGRJandfurballs
      Reply

      Eric and Colette
      Everyone here ….

      I loved what you shared with Colette, Eric
      Keep on keeping …

      “The ultimate wisdom lies with Spirit and as we obtain more wisdom
      through our life experience we get closer to our soul’s perfection
      and realizing our life’s purpose”

      Home is the Heart
      Time
      Together
      Nature
      Natural
      Amen

      LOV: )

  • Jana
    Reply

    Sending you and Beanie (((HUGS))) and many Blessings, Colette!!! And, just want to say Thank You for your words of Wisdom you share so freely with us and for the humor!!! 😉

  • Tatjana
    Reply

    Hugsies to you, Beanie and everyone in our tribe. “Letting go” is the key for me this week – actually it’s the key for the past few months, but I’m getting it now. Better now than never 😉 So, I started the week writing again on my novel. Hadn’t touched it for months. For now, I don’t worry about the perfect words. I just enjoy being in the flow, in the moment. Great point also about the cake, Collette. And because it is indeed no point to only have the cake, I’m having Pancake Day today, once again 🙂

    Lots of love from Dublin,
    Tatjana

  • Cyndee
    Reply

    Dearest Colette, My prayers are with you. I understand completely what you are going through. Just last week, we lost a loving companion, far too early and very unexpectedly. It’s heartbreaking. The grief is suffocating, and though I hear what you are saying about surrender (because surely in the midst or our sadness we cannot see the forest for the trees) there is literally no choice BUT to surrender, because it’s out of our hands. I wish you peace around your challenges right now, and hope for the best outcome. Love and light, Cyndee

    • Colette Baron-Reid
      Reply

      I am so sorry for your loss.. doesn’t make it easier that we don’t die .. we still have the human experience of grief to move through.. Beanie crossed over last night in our arms.. today we allow the shattering…

  • Beth
    Reply

    Hugs and prayers for you all.

  • Louise Michaud
    Reply

    Hi Colette
    You are not the only one going through this time in your life, we all experience this at one time or another. I am sorry to hear about Sebastian we love our pets so much and we hate to see them go through pain and suffering. What I do is exactly what you did and give it to God and know that whatever life has in store for him is meant to be. We are human and even though we are on a spiritual path moments and events happen to us to keep us on our toes. To keep us aware and also keep our focus on living in that moment and be able to deal with it the best way we can. I believe these things happen for that reason to stay focused and remember to ask God and our beautiful angels to help us through these trying times. I look at these as a blessing to help my soul’s spiritual growth.
    I look forward to seeing you in June in Chicago. God Bless you.

    • Colette Baron-Reid
      Reply

      yes it is true… we surrendered her to God.. she came home and it was obvious she wanted to cross over at home with us. It was so fast and we were not ready but then who is ever ready? today we are allowing grief to break us open… and still surrendering that too to God. I know Beanie is happy where she is- we found out she had a terrible disease that would have invited us to end things for her sooner than later anyway. She went on her own terms. I am grateful for the experience.. and even for the pain. Reminds you whats important in the end. Love is the only thing that ever matters and love never dies.

  • KateE
    Reply

    Colette,

    I am so very sorry for you and your husband’s loss of your beloved baby. Sending prayers to you.

    KateE~

  • Leslie
    Reply

    Dear Collette,

    My heart and prayers go out to you. Sweet Beanie.

    Our precious Kamuti dog passed as unexpectedly last Nov. I’d been thinking about him all day today, then read your blogpost. I’ve been so MAD at him for leaving – silly me, of course. I hadn’t been listening to the clues he’d been giving me that it was time for him to go.

    I expect Doggy Heaven is a pretty spectacular place and they are all having a blast. How wonderful she had someone who loved her through and through as you did and do. Much Love

  • Colleen
    Reply

    Dearest Colette,

    I am so sorry to hear about your loss of your baby Beany. I am sending you a huge HUG and lots of love your way. I know how hard it is to lose a fur baby. 🙁

    Love,
    Colleen xxoo

  • Terri C.
    Reply

    “There is a cycle of love and death that shapes the lives of those who choose to travel in the company of animals. It is a cycle unlike any other. To those who have never lived through its turnings and walked its rocky path, our willingness to give our hearts with full knowledge that they will be broken seems incomprehensible. Only we know how small a price we pay for what we receive; our grief, no matter how powerful it may be, is an insufficient measure of the joy we have been given.”

    Colette, Beanie loved you more than her heart could hold. She thanks you for being her mom and giving her a wonderful life. I know she was one of your great teachers. I extend my deepest condolences to you, your husband, and Sebastian.

    I wish to make a donation to your favorite charity, in celebration of Beanie’s life, so when time permits, please let me know where I can send my contribution.

    xoxoxo

    • Colette Baron-Reid
      Reply

      that is so so kind… we give to the Rolling Dog Animal Ranch for blind and disabled animals. I am so touched by your words.. truly

  • Catherine Pagliaro
    Reply

    There are no words to describe the pain of feeling powerless in the face of illness of loved ones furry or human…I read you pretty much every week/day other than in the last month or so…As you are such a healer as are your beloved babies…typically animals run the old shamanic programs of taking on illness, pain, energies of those they work with which can make them very ill over time…With the animals permission you can facilitate Creator to release those old programs and teach them healing without taking on pain or illness or negative energies…that they can just release to Creators love what they release themselves in their healing thereby helping prevent them from getting sick. Your furry babies are so great at healing Colette. Beany was exceptional…It was her time of transition into the next phase of her spirit journey but as you know she will always be with you..It doesn’t bring much comfort at this time tho…So much love to you and Marc as you heal from your loss…Thank you always for all you do…

  • Terri C.
    Reply

    Colette, what a wonderful mission being fulfilled by the Rolling Dog Animal Ranch. Please know that I used Jill’s e-mail address so that you could receive an acknowledgement for the donation made in Beanie’s honor. Sending prayers to you and your family.

    • Colette Baron-Reid
      Reply

      that is the nicest thing ever.. 😉 I can’t tell you how touched I am by this

  • Cecilia
    Reply

    Your so right Colleen, “Love never dies.”

    These sweet hearts that love our touch and praise are treasures beyond any measure. Hugs, love, and soothing light to you and all who have had to say “see you later” to animal friends dear to them.

    Only blessings, no loses…

    xoxoxo Brennie, Rudy, Piddles, Wooferduff

  • Mary
    Reply

    Dear Colette

    Big hug and kiss all the way from Auzzie land … I am an animal lover too. Our cat is the family pet and like your little Beanie is loved very dearly and treated with great respect as a member of our tribe (family). I believe animals teach humans how to give un-conditional LOVE something that is sadly lacking or missing somewhat in our world of today. God and the angels have blessed your little feller and know doubt nursed him safely all the way to the animal spirit world. God Bless xx

  • Elaine
    Reply

    Hi Collette from New Zealand

    I got a lot of comfort from Mike Dooley’s “The Top Ten Things Dead People Want to Tell YOU. ” I thought maybe it may be of some comfort to you too to perhaps read his book again while you remember the earthly Beanie. I know you love Mike Dooley’s also.

    Bunches of love and hugs

  • Cyndee
    Reply

    Dearest Colette,
    My heartfelt prayers are with you.
    Cyndee

  • Cyndee
    Reply

    Dear Colette,
    I wanted to say that I often refer to the prayer by Mary Elizabeth Frye, “Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep” We have it inscribed on our pet’s headstones, and it always brings me comfort.
    Cyndee

  • Diana Boles
    Reply

    no matter how aware we are of the end result of life, we are never quite prepared for the passing. My heart is with you and Mark and Sebastian. Blessings, darlings. Candles glowing, prayers flowing. I have tears as well

  • Carolyn
    Reply

    Amazing loving Collette,
    My heart and prayers of comfort go to you and your family. I’m so very sorry for your loss.

    Big hug and much love,
    Carolyn

  • Lisa AK
    Reply

    Oh Colette
    I’m so very sorry about Beanie…I moved across the country almost 16 yrs ago with 2 doggies, one I had since she was 6 wks old and the other since he was about 14 mths. old. Eleven yrs. ago I had to let one go when she was 10 yrs. old, she had sinus cancer and had started dropping weight and then stopped eating. I loved her enough to let her go with dignity. Then 2 1/2 yrs. later my other baby just started letting go of life, no particular illness or disease, he was almost 13, aching joints, stopped eating, but would look at me with such soulful haunting eyes telling me he was tired and it was time, so I also let him go. Yes, it’s very painful, it hurts like hell…I cried a lot, then I was able to start remembering all the fun, adventures and love we shared. I knew they were in doggie/animal heaven having a grand time!!! I even dreamed of them later, they were running in a huge open field of flowers & grass & trees with other animals and having a grand time!! A couple of years later I had the opportunity to adopt a 14mth old pug, Sophie. The lady who cut my hair had a baby, was a single mom and just really didn’t have the time for little Sophie, what with working and a baby. She brought Sophie for a day visit then a weekend & I was hooked! Sophie is now 10 1/2 yrs. old, gray around the muzzle and is slowing down some. She can’t do our ‘long’ walk anymore so we do our ‘short’ walk when the weather’s good. She has a huge fenced in yard and a ‘grandma’ (my mom) at home with her during the day. In the Spring/Summer and warm weather she LOVES being out in the front yard with me or ‘grandma’ and keeping up with the neighborhood. And she thinks she’s as big as anything or anybody else. One Saturday afternoon a black bear, yes I said a bear (I live in Alaska) came walking across the driveway and before I knew it had started up a tree because Sophie was barking at it for all she was worth!!! I then realized as I was sitting in the swing, with the bear up the tree, he/she could now jump down from the tree and into the fenced front yard where my Sophie was!! I immediately jumped up yelling at Sophie to ‘come here’ and clapping my hands and yelling at the bear to ‘get out of here’!!! Wish I’d had all that on video!!! Anyway, our fur babies bring us so much in life…love, adventure, laughter, antics and sometimes heartache. Just know your baby is now happy and joyful with all the other fur babies and will now always be happy and knows how much you loved her while she was here. God Bless you Colette!

  • Monique
    Reply

    Hello Colette,

    Much love and prayers are with you and your family! As I read your post about Beanie, it reminded me of our family dog Binh. I bought him as a gift to my mom when she retired and my daughter and I were moving out of town. Binh is a happy, hyper Boston Terrier that LOVES our family. He experienced a less than ideal transition that finally lead my mother and father to put him to sleep out of pity and helplessness similar to what you are describing. Although Beanie is not at the best state that you remember experiencing her to be – she is at her best for now…whenever she makes her transition, as we all must someday, she will be at peace and revived and refreshed from her current discomforts. The entire family celebrated Binh’s vibrant, ever-loving life this Thanksgiving as we all gathered around his urn (yes he was cremated complete with a paw print with his name and a prayer about meeting up with him on the “rainbow bridge” the beautiful day that we will make our own transitions to join him). We all smiled and laughed at how awesome a dog he was and is. I also ask him to come to my children and accompany them when I think they are feeling shy or scared. They always return happy and content afterwards, although they don’t know that I’ve prayed for them in this way. Also, how many Boston Terriers have i come across during the ten years since I’ve moved away? Less than 5, I know before he left. After Binh’s passing, I would see more than five per week! Some were being walked, on billboards, magazine advertisements, you name it! I even sat in a parking lot feeling sorry for myself one day and saw something moving out of the corner of my eye in the car next to me. When I looked over, a Boston Terrier was staring me straight in the eyes from the window next to me! All I could do was laugh and thank Binh for being there. Beanie will be by your side whenever you think of her and probably even after she is not as prominent in your mind…May Beanie and you and yours, find peace at this time and whenever you need it! Love, Monique and Binh 🙂

  • Patti
    Reply

    Colette: I’m sending you lots of love, light, and comforting healing energy. There is nothing quite like the pain of losing a beloved furrbaby. I know that your precious Beanie will be sending you signs soon (if not already)! My precious kitty passed a few years ago, and I still miss him so much, but he’s always sending me signs that he’s with me, just pain-free and fancy free now!! 🙂 XOXO
    P.S. Your Sebastian reminds me of my baby as he has the same energy and fur color! XOXO

  • Jenny Flanigan
    Reply

    This vlog gave me goosebumps!! I almost made an expensive mistake on a home improvement project, but the cards helped me to see I was on the wrong path; the correct path was shown to me by the Encouragement card!! Love the synchronicity and Thank You for sharing every week; I always seem to get something out of it 🙂

  • Alina
    Reply

    Dear Colette and Marc,
    Bless you Beanie! I understand your pain and I send you love and angels during this difficult time. I also had on of our pups die in my arms and it is a memory that still brings me to tears….grief still lingers in my heart. Lucky was truly a lucky dog!! First of all he was the only survivor of a head on collision in which his previous owners passed. The Highway Patrol took him to the Humane Society and he was there a very long time because no one would take him. He was finally adopted but returned because they said he was mean and had issues…! This is how we came together. The day after Thanksgiving a few years back my husband and I are on the way to Key Largo and I turn to my husband and say..I am ready for a new dog…we already had two Jack Russell’s, Rocket and Luna and he wanted another so he was very happy to hear this. We drive a bit further and he comments on how the new dividing wall on the 20 mile stretch was going to save lives as there were many head on collisions over the years (you see where this is going?). And so we get to the Keys and while we are out grocery shopping he noticed a Jack Russell jumping in the background in a cage and it caught his eye. In over 15 years on going to the Keys, I had never even noticed there was an animal shelter there…WOW. So of course we go. My husband tells me what he really wanted was to adopt a dog…LOL…we were in the right place for that! We meet our future pup and I ask the Angels for a sign …a pigeon flies and lands right next to my husband where he is standing with the dog…Yep it did. So we called him Lucky because he was coming home with us. He was mean in the first months and I knew that would change when he got the love and TLC he was deeply needing. Love transformed him into a sweet dog again and in the years that followed he had a lot of fun with us.
    I won’t give you the sad details, but I will tell you my husband and I have many “should of” moments from those last hours. There was a moment in the night when we just looked into each others eyes and will never forget that. I feel he was reaching my soul and saying goodbye. I took his passing very badly and was very depressed and blamed myself…those “should of’s” kicked my butt. Eventually I realized I had to forgive myself and let go of Lucky. I still cry every now and then for Lucky yet I know he is with me. I have had many signs and stories that have been amazing and filled my heart with love, replacing my grief. Tony and I are similar to you and Marc in that we don’t have human children, we have fur babies;) And now we have another one to add to our love…Lolah! She was a gift from our relatives and though she can never replace Lucky, she is helping my heart heal. Lola is a super happy puppy and has brought new life to our older dog Rocket and is a great playmate for Luna. Sometimes I think Lucky sent her to us;) Lucky was meant to be with us for a time and I am very grateful he choose us to be his parents. I will treasure him always in my heart and soul. God Bless you and may LOVE heal your hearts. May your pain be released and be replaced with all the happy and loving memories you all shared with Beanie. Hugs and kisses, Alina:)

  • Patrick T in Indy
    Reply

    I just wanted to tell you as a person in long gone recovery, I really enjoy this post and even shared some of it with some friends of Bill W. 😉

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