Promise Me You’ll Never Change!
Last night I watched the sweetest movie called Hector’s Search for Happiness about an unhappy psychiatrist living a predictable ordered life who, after an epiphany takes a wild impromptu journey to China, Africa and America to find out the secret to happiness with harrowing and hilarious results. ( in a nutshell, although that was a lot for one sentence)
Now, without giving too much away, there was one informative scene when he is in bed with his girlfriend who blurts out before sleep this charged statement “Promise me you’ll never change” which really got me thinking. Hmm.
But I get it. I have wanted to capture happy moments in my life and keep them in a jar. I have craved certainty from my relationships and resisted them when it was obvious we were growing apart. I have experienced the numbing effects of denial about the inevitable like when my mom got cancer, the disintegration of relationship with an old and dear friend, the lifestyle that couldn’t sustain me. I wanted to cling to the best of them and insist they would never change. Of course, that doesn’t work.
I decided to choose an oracle card to give me deeper insight to today’s subject. I chose from The Wisdom of the House of Night oracle cards, felt drawn to one, turned it over and lo and behold The High Priestess of Water showed up with a message of the necessity of surrendering to change for wisdom, growth and happiness. (I love my oracle cards!)
I’ve had to learn most of my hardest lessons through letting go, and my greatest freedoms have been won in radical acceptance and surrender to change. My best creative work has been in response to those changes and to the understanding that life must remain fluid. I’ve never been good with conformity, nor predictability. I am too restless and rebellious. Today I question everything to stay awake. Today I know I’m happy because of my understanding of change and how important it is to experience every aspect of life, every emotion, and to allow my husband to change and grow and be who he needs to be.
We never promised the other we’d never change.
We committed to each other’s personal growth and need for creative expression and within that lies our certainty, which is why we’re happy together. (That, and of course because we’re madly in love.) We have a simple life, simple marriage, simple needs but we’re always on an adventure of discovery.
If you look back on your life, what has remained exactly the same?
I wonder too, if you’ve been in situations where you felt like your life was on automatic? What did that feel like and how did you break out of it? Or, perhaps you fell in love and wanted that person to stay the same, the intimate moments preserved forever in amber? How did you handle it when things changed and what did you learn?
What makes you feel alive?
What makes you happy?
I think about these things as I’m coming up to a birthday this week. No way around it I am past middle age. I can’t tell my skin “Promise me you’ll never change” no matter how many creams or potions that the sexy young thing at the beauty counter sells me- it ain’t gonna happen. For the most part I’ve made peace with this new era of life. I like how I look, lines and all, I love being this age, letting go the expectations of preservation, and just being all I can, choosing what makes my heart sing and not worrying about the inevitable. I want to make every moment count but I know the best ones are like those fireflies that come out at dusk to jump around my backyard recently. They remain but fleeting moments of ecstasy that tease even the memory. I think I’m just going to enjoy them.
Join the conversation and leave me a comment my sparkly tribal dancers. I send you so much love.