2015 – A Summary of What Really Matters!
Updated: December 28, 2015
Dearest luminous you,
This is the last week of the year, the last time I will be writing knowing it’s 2015, the last bend of a rollercoaster ride that culminated in one big blast of learning about what really matters this past week.
I love taking this week to reflect on the year previous. It’s a ritual I do every year, really observing what happened, my part in things, what I manifested and when I had to surrender to life on life’s terms, and how well I responded to the call “that came without warning”.
You see I believe in a strange and powerful paradox. The first is that I am 100% sure that I co-create my reality, and have the ability, as we all do, to deliberately and consciously call in conditions that support my dreams and desires.
I believe and have seen proven time and time again that whatever frequency I put out there with consistency and repetition, will be reflected back to me in the appropriate form that represents that energy.
I know intimately the ebb and flow of that energy and the conditions that accompanies the co-creations when I am clear Spirit is my manifesting partner.
I also know that only when I’m “holding the world loosely” without too much ambition, attachment and entitled expectation, but just enough, remaining curious and neutral, extraordinary things happen in my life.
I know that whatever is possible exists in its essence in the invisible realms and can be called into form by me, and you. As a matter of fact we see this all the time. Thoughts do create reality. At the very least if you don’t believe this, consider perspective being the lens through which we are all influenced. It’s a big topic this, but one that I think about all the time now that the world is reflecting our own uncertainty of what we’ve already created and what lies ahead.
The second part of the paradox is that I also know intimately that there are times when I have to surrender to life on life’s terms. Those are the times when something comes along to kick me in the back of the knees lest I get too cocky, although truly I believe its all impersonal in the end. So somewhere between “ I create my reality” and “ Life on Life’s terms” is where I swing.
Yes this year was extraordinary in the manifesting sense of the word.
Right until the end of this year, one thing after the other got crossed off my husband’s and my co-creation list. From moving to Connecticut, to writing my best book yet Uncharted –The Journey Through Uncertainty to Infinite Possibility (September 2016) to creating and releasing my most extensive (and favorite) oracle deck- Wisdom of the Oracle. I watched my Canadian TV show Messages from Spirit do well and continue to air on national TV, and launched a 12 city successful tour.
Literally one phone call from a friend brought us the farm of our dreams, which we bought sight unseen and moved back to Canada. I was inspired to return to music and added some to my new live event format and then at the very end of the year got an offer for something that could allow me to reach so many more people than I ever thought possible from a company that could help me make a real difference. Yes all those things were true this year in 2015.
Am I proud and grateful for these things? Yes. Did we work hard, and continue to do the “do things” – the essential habits to maintain an energy that would match the reality we desired? Yes. Did I ensure I was serving in the way I knew had integrity? Yup.
Was it perfect? Hell no.
I didn’t like living in Westport, the move to Canada was hellish, the farm house needed tons of renovations and repairs, we were exhausted and overworked most of the year, then our dog Beanie died in my husband’s arms after complications from an MRI. And behind all of this, the world was riddled with horrible events that made my small world seem totally insignificant.
But in the end both are true.. the significance and the insignificance of a human life.
No matter what goes on in the world, in the broader sense of geo politics and social unrest, terrorism, and global environmental concerns- every one of us has a smaller life where the big stories play out in intimate ways. When things get too overwhelming bringing one’s life down to right size is the best recourse.
My core is close to the bone, local to my lens I see through. The world becomes more manageable living it from the inside out. It doesn’t mean that I will always get what I want. It means I will be able to find magic and meaning in the story of my life in places perhaps I never thought to look when my eyes were too glued to the proverbial prize.
Of course to get to the core of our stories we can unravel the complexities by asking simple questions.
What matters? What really counts? What’s true for me? When do I close my mind? What inspires me? What makes me afraid? Where does the power really lie? How can I lead a deeply spiritual life and make a living that has integrity? What happens when all my manifesting mojo gets kicked to the curb when a life event derails my “make it happen” train?
These are all things that came to mind this week as crisis came to our house and cancelled our plans for Christmas.
Both our younger dogs Coco and Olli taught us about some important things this week. Back to back as if a tsunami of sickness battered our home- first Coco had to go to emergency after a strange bout of vomiting then toppled into an acute hypoglycemic event. The day we brought her home from the emergency and being hooked up to an IV all day, Olli the baby, suddenly lost all her motor responses, and had to be taken into the city to emergency there. She now has a four thousand dollar reverse Mohawk hairdo, the result of numerous tests including MRI and spinal tap, which determined she has an inflammatory brain disease.
We now have surrendered to the fact we have a special needs baby and we will love and care for her every day of her life. As most of you know we have only had her for 3 weeks and although we would all like to adopt a healthy dog, the universe had other plans for our family.
The interesting thing is nothing else mattered to me while being present for all of this.
Not one thing on my list of accomplishments and possibilities mattered. My world shrunk to Marc and my fur babies. I struggled at first – knowing intellectually I needed to surrender didn’t help me. I wanted Coco and OIli to survive, and yes I prayed and yes they did but they might not have.
It’s easy to be grateful when you get what you want.
Olli had woven herself into our lives like a live wire of luminous and sparkling energy. Her presence had changed us all since she bounced into our world like Speedy Gonzales. She brought Coco alive to the point she acts like a totally different dog. Until Olli Coco was more like a cat- aloof and very independent, yet now she is loving and playful. Sebastian is less of a curmudgeon and more alert than he has been in ages, and Marc has a furry fan club he has never experienced since the loss of Beanie- his little soul mate. She also follows me around literally everywhere I go and sticks to me like Velcro.
Olli showed us all something we had no idea we were yearning for. She brought more Love and more Spirit into the house than ever before. Now she might die?!
I bargained and struggled, and cried, and let my fears yell at me until I was spent and then the most amazing thing happened. I began to pray for God’s will not mine be done. Whatever was to happen all I focused on was the love and acceptance I had in every cell in my body. Then the peace came and I was ok with whatever happened. I could just send Love and peace to Olli. I stayed in that gap – between thoughts, between prayers, between moments, and felt that beautiful quiet stillness within me.
Yes we were vulnerable. Yes our hearts would break but Marc and I talked about breaking open as a result of the beauty of her not the loss. How much she brought to us even though she came with ear mites and all kinds of other unrelated health stuff on top of all of it. The minute she came into our house she taught us to stay present and be conscious of what matters.
She is home now, a little fighter, sleeping beside me with her funny shaved head. Yes she still wobbles a bit, and she is on super steroids and we have no idea how she will do, or how long she will live etc.
Isn’t that true of life? All we can do is show up for it, be accountable, dream our dreams and take action towards them, ask the important questions, love with all our hearts, and one day when it’s our turn to leave this earth be grateful that we had this brief moment in time, in the physical plane, spiritual beings having a human experience where a puppy can change your whole world in one instant.
So for me and mine, we will continue to do our part to co-create a world we can be proud of for the highest good, dream our dreams, and enter 2016 with the intention to manifest and co-create from authenticity, courage, and inspiration. But we will also be challenged with the humility of it all just the same. And that’s ok.
As you reflect on 2015 and ready your intentions for 2016, may you be blessed with this prayer:-
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
So courage my loves as we all sail into Uncharted waters, no matter how rocky the boat gets we need to remember miracles are in the roiling seas as well as waiting to be discovered when we reach the new shores.
It’s all good.
Love you so much! See you in 2016 xoxoxox
Ps love to hear how your year went and your intentions for 2016!