The Consequences of “Tone it Down” (so Sing who you are Loud and Proud) - Colette Baron-Reid | Oracle Queen | Founder of Oracle School

The Consequences of “Tone it Down” (so Sing who you are Loud and Proud)

Dearest you,

This week my friend – motivation mamma and spiritual teacher Danielle Laporte dropped a Truth Bomb on her Instagram page (one of her special cards from her branded Truth Bomb series) and when I saw it I had such a strong reaction to it I decided to start a discussion about it with you here.

The Truth Bomb says “ If you tone it down Life can’t hear you.”

Feel that statement in your bones. What comes up for you?
How often have you been told, subtly or overtly that who you are needs to be toned down and modified to fit in, that you need to conform, or that you should think, act, look like a certain way which isn’t really you?

This weekend’s oracle card reading and the reading for this week’s universal energies all point to the same theme. If we want to live freely without the constraints of pretense, giving into our creative desires and expressing them loud and proud we need to muster up more than a little courage.
Living authentically and joyfully – soul on fire- dancing into life has to be done in spite of everything and everyone around us that tries to silence us and everything inside us that is terrified to be true to who we really are.

Our culture here in the west is built on claiming certain freedoms. As a western woman I can vote, I can work, I can drive a car, ( or hot rod motorcycle) and I can choose who I sleep with and who I marry. I have a theoretical right to free speech and I’m allowed to express my beliefs and theories in a public forum. I can choose what to wear and what to eat. So when I move my eyes away and outward from my privileged stoop I’m appalled when I hear about women being severely punished or killed for refusing marriage in Pakistan for example (and before you get all twisted up in a knot about racism etc. I just saw this on BBC video this morning). I’m horrified by the repression of women that is rampant outside my small world. Who models freedom for these women?

So I get how privileged I am here to choose, to speak, to get an education and to express my thoughts to you here even though they’re unconventional and “ fringe”. I still have a voice.

But the concept of freedom here in many ways is hypothetical and a concept of idealism that can only become real if we act on it. So that means we need to find out what silences us within us as well as around us, to root out what says “ tone it down” your desires don’t count, there’s not enough, you’re not that valuable shhhhhhh”. Etc.

Bottom line is this Life can’t hear you if you don’t speak up. Spirit can’t co-create with you if you’re too shy about your dreams and goals. You will at best end up modeling how the repression model still exists and at worst keep it going complicit in an uneven exchange of energy- you get way less than what you’re trading for.

Tragedy has a way of being a harsh catalyst for transformation – a reminder of how short life really is. I think of my mom who died tragically without expressing her authentic dreams and who spent her life trying to find a way how to shove a square peg into a round hole because she believed it would be safer.
I have a voice within me that tells me that I’ll be punished for being my authentic self- some bogey man will come and wreak some kind of havoc as a result. I have learned to love that fearful self and to quiet her when she’s afraid without judgment. I stand tall anyway even if my knees are shaking. This is what I’ve learned. What does your inner silencer say?
Conversely what does your truest soul- self say? Mine is bursting with love and service and creativity and soul-fire! That self tells me all the treasure is there no matter how dangerous it is getting there.. the magic awaits!

Life can’t hear us if we silence our authentic selves. We will never truly be free if we have too many attachments to the outcome of that expression either. It’s being real every moment- here and now, honest , allowing intuition to sometimes challenge reason. We can course correct too as we learn more, and peel away the onionskins to reveal our soul’s bright and true fire light.

And, If we don’t agree with our culture, our consistent courage and actions will be the ones to make the shift. We do it together. I need to hear you though to know where to find you. You may begin as a single note but added together we will make the music that rocks the entire universe.
You game? Sing who you are loud and proud.

Love you always and forever.
love colette 200x103

 

 

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Showing 71 comments
  • Cindy
    Reply

    I really needed to hear this today. I’m sitting at the airport waiting to board a flight for a business trip for the umpteenth time and feeling very unauthentic. For the first time in over 20 years I feel like crying because this is not what I want to be doing with my life. Thanks, Colette, for sharing your gifts! I really appreciate you!

    • Heather
      Reply

      Hi Colette! I love this discussion and your work. Thank you for all your insights.
      I am a very passionate person and often told to tone it down most of my life. The first thing that came to me when I read that was if your toning it down you’re not being your authentic self and not living your full expression of life love and in spirit. When you’re not living your authentic self it’s hard to share your story and it’s hard to bring light to others at least that’s how I feel. Some of us may be a little more conscious a little more aware and if we’re out in the world experiencing things and something Catches us, our attention, I feel it’s important to speak up if you feel it because perhaps what you have something to share with that person can help them or Enlighten them somehow. So for me I feel toning it down is against our nature and that we need to teach it’s okay to share our passions are expressions and opinions in a loving and respectful manner so that we can live authentically.

      Peace and blessings to you all.
      Heather

  • J
    Reply

    I’m a woman who is ready to break out of structured, customer-service jobs and write books and create art and use the skills and talents that I have passion for in order to make a living. I’m ready to travel the world and meet people and release the fear that says “don’t do that, it’s not secure as working for someone else- even if getting a regular paycheck barely covers the bills and on top of that going in to work is soul-crushing.” I’m not built for 9-5. I’ve been suppressing my spontaneous nature for too long, listening to fear for too long. The price of “security” is too high. Everything that I have to offer is worth more than what I have been getting in return. This stops now. The first step was releasing the denial of being enough. The next step is taking action toward the life I desire to create.

  • Barb Parcells
    Reply

    Colette, I am so well aware of the freedoms that I enjoy and that many of them were won by women who raised their voices and demanded to be heard. The fact that I can lift my voice in support or protest today is because I refused to tone it down. I marched in Washington, I picketed and protested in my 30’s. Then when I thought it was safe to put away the sings and the tie-dye shirts, and live a life of peace, I see and hear women who, 40 years ago would have been forbidden to speak out, do so in order to keep other people from having the same rights and freedoms. So now I am in a place where I either have to raise my voice again, or use my inner voice to fight the good fight. I pray, mediate, sign petitions secure in the knowledge that Creator has our backs. Yes, I know I could do both, but in today’s political and cultural climate, a person can get killed for speaking out. It’s hard to know what to do any more.

  • Ali
    Reply

    I love love love this post this week (and the weekend and weekly oracle card readings, too!). This is a subject close to my heart. Unfortunately, for me, I don’t really know who I am anymore. I’ve been forcing myself to be someone else, someone quieter and less overtly passionate, for so long that I’m not sure what my real personality would look like if I were able to find it.

    Things will get better, one day at a time. Posts and readings like these are the needed spark to get my inner flame going again. Thank you for this much needed message. <3 & (((hugs)))

    • Barbara
      Reply

      Ali, faith and hope are powerful beliefs. Keep searching, you will find the path to you.

    • Colette Baron-Reid
      Reply

      I totally get that! A few years ago I had a huge identity crisis .. confused because I was trying to be what I thought I should be. This too shall pass Ali- Just keep a conscious contact to your higher power and let the ” should be’s” and the repression melt away until you discover what you’re here for. Keep praying to be shown the way. You might be led to the simplest act of kindness and in that moment of selflessness you just might have an epiphany or perhaps a surge of soul fire will move through you Hallelujah! Just keep asking.. and then let go and listen quietly. oxoxoxoxox

  • Renee Sugar
    Reply

    Self-expression is such a gift to allow our souls to be revealed. Regardless of what medium we choose we can share a powerful message without uttering a word. Many people are very intimidated to try to make a statement, or to stand out, attract attention. I am actually a very shy person; but recently I purchased a new pair of jeans with an expressive tie-dye pattern blocked on the surface. When I first saw them, I was attracted to them, but they were sure different from the Calvin Klein pair I had worn for a decade. So I mustered up the courage to try them on. They felt energizing. I danced when I put them on !!!! So after three visits, about a week apart, there was only one pair, and I said, if they are meant to be yours, they will still be there. They were, and after the third try, I bought them and each time I put them on; I feel more courageous, and am enjoying attracting some attention.
    I believe that the whole concept of creativity can be a very limiting one. Art behind glass contained within a frame is something that only a privileged few can see or own. With the explosion of digital technology, any kind of visual art design/pattern can be expanded and turned into interior home/décor accessories, articles of clothing, mural- sized wallpaper panels. That process opens the doors to what was only seen behind glass hanging on a wall. So if you are a visual artist/designer that was what was expected, to see your work hanging in a gallery. “Creating originals without the frame” was the tagline that I chose to launch a collection of original artisan hand-marbled patterns which were applied to a variety of forms/surfaces. Thinking in a non-traditional way outside the box/frame expands the possibilities and invites the participation of others. What was the sole property of one individual becomes a concert; a collaborative unfolding that is now a part of a larger story. When we give ourselves permission to be seen, heard, understood and supported we are co-creating something that didn’t exist before. How sad, and void of color, texture, vitality the world would be without those who have the courage to release what is within. ” There are no days as memorable as those which have vibrated to some stroke of imagination.” Ralph Waldo Emerson.
    As the late Wayne Dyer said, Don’t die with your music in you.” Leave your imprint, your chef d’oeuvre. Give birth to that which is dying to be seen, heard. It might inspire others, but more important it will empower you to attempt the uncharted pathways calling to you. “If not NOW, When??? Hillel.
    http://www.metamorphosisfineartanddesign.com

    • Colette Baron-Reid
      Reply

      beautiful !! oxoxo

    • Velma
      Reply

      I love this post, the message, how well it reads, just all of it. Thank you.

  • Barbara
    Reply

    Over the last several months I have had numerous indications I needed to create and speak publicly. But my little safe zone voice kept saying “yeah what are you going to create and about what are you going to speak.” But the path I have been on since I found your blog and your oracle cards have lead me to be more true to the beliefs I had and cherished as a young adult. It has brought me the strength to come out of the “broom closet” so to speak and say to my friends and co-workers that I am a Pagan. Yes some turned away but it just cleared the way for those who accept me. And then when I was meditating two days ago things came to me finally. Pictures and paint. All the photos I have taken over the years that people said I should sale are going to be dug out of the closet. The Chinese paints and brush set will make their way out of storage to my sacred space to convey what is trying to come out. Once again my hands will speak my heart and, I hope, my heart will speak to others.

  • Theresa
    Reply

    Thank you Collette! I live in a very remote town in the North of Canada. There are a few of us who are setting forth a desire to increase community arts in our town. And I feel that if I am the authentic me, the artist, the one who loves to talk about self expression and self care and get excited about art and music and how it is so good for me (and others), that others will also feel the excitement. I love to inspire and empower others, as I use your messages to inspire me. I love your creative fire! You lift me up so that I can lift others up and we can make mountains move in this wee town. Keep doing what you are doing!

    • Colette Baron-Reid
      Reply

      this is SO exciting!! Just know that every one of us here in our community support you too!!

  • Susanne
    Reply

    Just wonderful, dearest Colette, thank you! xxx

  • Stephanie
    Reply

    Today was a great reading, it really hit home. You are so right Colette. We live in a country that prides itself on being free, and having freedom of speech. But as soon as someone walks away from the heard, (societal rules/norm), and acts a little bit different; they are bullied, or worse, labeled weird or crazy. What a shame our country doesn’t practice what it preaches. Why is it that society is so afraid of individuality? Most people are living something out of the (The Stepford Wives) movie and don’t even realize it. Thank you for waking me up today. I love your readings!

    • Colette Baron-Reid
      Reply

      you are so welcome and to anyone else I didn’t reply to ( have a busy day) I send you love and hugs!

    • KP
      Reply

      Having been labelled “Quirky” myself by others – not that bad, was quite honored – I happy and don’t have to worry about being “one of the crowd and conforming to utter rubbish”. Us “Quirky’s / Weirds / Crazies” generally remind the masses of the lives they would rather be leading but just can’t break free – Freddie Mercury led the way for them “I want to break free” – here’s the secret – some of us already have – ssssh!

  • Renee
    Reply

    This message is perfect timing for me! I have been tapping on a past of being told as a young girl I was a “motor mouth” and that my “behavior” grades in grade school were always bad. I now see I was just expressing who I was with no boundaries but over time, those boundaries came to silence who I really am and thus now I am fearful of expressing my true authentic self. This post is awesome Colette and gives me inspiration to allow my creativity to come out. Thank you for your most amazing messaging and timing as always!

  • MIndy
    Reply

    Bravo Colette – thanks for bringing these truths to our attention. Keep on shining, keep on singing, keep on being the best that you can be – don’t ever let anyone take that away from you – I love this message – we all need this message – imagine a world where everyone has freedom to just be and to do their best toward this goal is every day.

  • Jenny Silva
    Reply

    This makes my heart and soul sing. I’ve always been an outside the box firey and silly person, but multiple bosses and family members have told me to settle down so many times over the years that I’ve become more serious and less playful.
    I’m a big energy and damn them if they cannot handle it. I’m here to take the world by storm! Thank you for posting this wonderful reminder. Always amazing my friend – always.

  • Felicia
    Reply

    Ah Colette……this is brilliant! I’ve been listening to my own inner voice instead of listening to everyone else’s noise. I talk to Spirit, I ask for guidance and ask them to reveal to me that my inner voice and my own intuition is correct despite what others are telling me. I am being true to myself and what I want because, quite simply, I AM!
    I won’t tone it down unless my loudness can put someone else in danger. Otherwise, the sky’s the limits! Thank you for this super enlightening post. Love it!

  • Shelly
    Reply

    Thank you. This was perfect and what I neede to hear. Being brave enough to be yourself completely sometimes can feel scary and so is the unknown…

  • Velma
    Reply

    After decades of being an outspoken, independent thinking, nonconformist, I find peace in allowing others the space to BE no matter where along their journey they find themselves. I realize all the years I seemed to preach my convictions the most was only solidifying them within myself more than attempting to educate or expose anyone outside of myself. Perhaps my Leo sun sign, Leo rising, and Leo in my south node equipped me to embody my uniqueness all my life. It’s something I’m accustomed to and am realizing not knowing how all the puzzle pieces fit together at this stage of my life tests my ability to trust the process without the need to control and get in my own way.

    Turning away from college scholarships upon high school graduation to join the Marine Corps at age 17. Choosing to leave when my beliefs no longer aligned with that entity. Embracing all aspects of holistic healing, thinking, beliefs regarding life and living when allopathic mentalities remain prevalent and revered. Walking away from medical school at age 41 because it felt like selling my soul to go against who I truly am. Still not forgiving myself for choices that seemed to upend my life led me to chiropractic school. To which I withdrew after a year because the modality went against my staunch convictions of healing the emotional component to any physical manifestation. From animal rescue to calling corporate offices when injustices to fellow coworkers continue to standing up to narrow minded bullying to others…..I’ve taken up the underdog’s gauntlet many times throughout my almost 45 years of life. It’s interesting reflecting on all my choices that now bring me to another unique personal awareness.

    I know the agreed upon growth and expansion prior to incarnating helps determine aspects of our personality because it positions us throughout this journey for remembering and awareness. Whereas I feel I’ve been outspoken all my life (even in elementary school), I find personal peace embracing my quiet nature now. Still standing strong for my beliefs and convictions, but more of a solid knowing within myself of how far I’ve come. Understanding the beauty in life is in each individual and their own dance with divine timing. Our free will enables us to choose now, choose in ten minutes, or choose in ten years whether or not we feel compelled to step into that growth. When we’re ready, we start. Even if at first those baby steps are trepidatious, our higher self continues to speak to us.

    Honoring my authenticity comes easily to me. Understanding the layers of the onion I need to heal along the way continue to reveal themselves. Many, many layers ….big time. Right now I find myself balancing dreaming while staying present in the moment; dreaming big without being unrealistic; making quiet time to align with Spirit so more is revealed while honoring and trusting what I know in my heart is my truth. I so appreciate you Colette and this forum to express ourselves. Much love to you!

  • Alex
    Reply

    Hi Colette, I live in Orlando. This past weekend has been crazy, heavy, and sad here. You said, “Tragedy has a way of being a harsh catalyst for transformation,” and this couldn’t be more true. Your themes this week about speaking up and having the courage to be your authentic self regardless of naysayers and misanthropes really resonates with me. I was thinking that for most people, tragic events do catapult them to action. I feel like your words this week apply to a greater consciousness. Yes, personally we all need to let our freak flags fly, but collectively, I feel like we each have a responsibility to speak our truth so that together we really can inspire change. Don’t you think that if more of us were living soul-centered lives, doing and acting in accordance with our higher selves, that the result would be more peace and harmony in the world? Not to put unnecessary pressure on ourselves, but in that sense we have a responsibility not only to ourselves but to each other to tune out the frequency of the inner silencer and tune into the frequency of who we always intended to be. I’m still working on this part, but I appreciate that I’m tuned into you so that I may grow and inspire change!

    • Colette Baron-Reid
      Reply

      yes 1000% percent we all need to be accountable and responsible to live a soul centered life .. interesting topic I will write about for next week’s blog as some people misinterpret the ” freak flag” or being loud and proud something that is an ego centered thing. Look at what happened in Orlando in that club most were hispanic and many of them had not come out to their families. Some grandmothers found out at the same time that their loved ones were dead that they were also gay. This was supposed to be a safe place. Personally we owe it to them, to others who have died for being ” different” or “other” to be fully authentic.. self evaluating.. staying aligned with the truth that all of life is sacred and ensouled and each one of us has good in us to foster in service to the whole. I will go on… thanx for sharing. so much more to say 😉

  • Johanne cyr
    Reply

    Took my coffee down to the lake to be ‘still’ and meditate with my cards by my side hoping to find encouragement ‘courage’ as i feel i’m slipping back into silence today. Just before turning my phone off i thought I would check see if anyone was looking for me (lol) and there you were with today’s blog of courage reminding me I’m not alone and that our innerself, our truth joined with that of others can make magic. As an ACOA, survivor of childhood sexual abuse and the daughter of a dissociated mother I have things to say !! And i know you ‘get’ that. My words need to be of service to someone though for me to put myself out there and that’s what i am working on, believing what i have to say is worthy. I love your blogs as they temind me to keep moving and always ‘course correct’. Thank you for putting yourself out there, you are a treasure. Bless you ! Now back to meditation and cards.

    • Colette Baron-Reid
      Reply

      I am myself a ” triple winner” ( wink) and I have to say in my early days of recovery when I stuttered and still thought I was a failure and garbage I got my first glimpse that my being alive might be worth something. Sharing freely in a room full of addicts and alcoholics was the first time I ever felt like I counted. When someone told me what I said about myself made them feel less alone, and someone else said my story stopped them from killing themselves and gave them a reason to come back? . That meant more to me than any amount of money in the bank , status or anything that I have today.We are all worthy, all of us have value ” no matter how far down the scale we had gone we can see how our experience can benefit others”. Just share your experience, strength and hope. You will know your worth. xoxox

    • Velma
      Reply

      Johanne…

      Sending you a ‘Velma’ hug, and they are quite renowned! I just have a lot of love to give!

      I concur. Your personal experiences and healing will touch lives and speak to people others cannot reach. Being sympathetic is not the same as embodying empathy fully because it too touched your life in some way. In many ways.

      My mother was sexually abused by her father and two other men, alcoholic and abusive father who repeatedly held a gun or knife to his own kids’ head yelling threats Of killing them. Her physically abusive first husband, her verbally belittling, controlling and emotionally abusive second husband (my father)…. As she once again attempts therapy at almost 71 years of age because she cannot seem to crack open those walls to begin the healing.

      I’ve tried reaching her in a multitude of ways over the last 20 years unsuccessfully. I spent four hours on the phone with her in 2005 discussing her choice to commit suicide. I ‘get’ her actions, emotions, and coping mechanisms on so many levels. I possess many of them. I honestly believe someone who has endured aspects of what she has experienced can bridge the gap that would allow her to find hope and safety in even looking at her own past. Although I have a block in my childhood memory bank for a period of about 8-10 years, I’m unsure if I witnessed something that I blocked or actually experienced it. Just last week I had a dream/memory jog that may be the beginning of uncovering it. I had a very dear friend who was sexually abused and never healed it. She was a highly gifted and intuitive healer and friend. She helped me realize if parents do not heal the abuse, their children remain sensitive to it and attract it into their lives. I know countless connections throughout the years of abused people who’ve come into my life. Her adult son called her in his late twenties not understanding why he kept attracting women who were sexually abused. I’ve also witnessed the energetic ‘memory’ of abuse in a friend become activated while in the vicinity of an abuser. This was very unsettling for me. It may be that I realize I was abused, I honestly don’t know.

      My point in mentioning ALL of this is that With all my knowledge, experience, and understanding, I still cannot help my mother connect with herself, her fears, her abusive past. I believe in my heart it’s others who share similar journeys who shine the light and provide a loving and safe environment for others to begin their healing journey. You may not see yourself as courageous, but I see you as a blessing. You give others the courage to even reach for the switch to bring the light in … To heal the dark.

      You are loved. In so many ways, you are loved.

  • Anonymous
    Reply

    Oh, Colette, what an amazing blog and reading this week!! You are so right on the mark. (pun intended) lol. I have been feeling like a ‘whack a mole’ lately. Whenever I pop my head up and get excited about something…there’s a nay sayer putting me, or my idea down! Well, I realized that enough is enough… I like, no LOVE who I am and what makes me Happy! I will not back away, or tone it down to suit others or avoid conflict.
    You know, I remember in Grade 1, I was happily singing along with our class and the teacher actually told me to mouth the words!! I guess she felt I was over zealous or too loud, but talk about trying to squash someone’s enthusiasm… Why can’t folks just let people be happy, for goodness sake!?
    Love and Hugs to you and our beautiful tribe.
    Xoxoxo

  • Coco
    Reply

    Its funny, when I first read the Truth Bomb I thought, sure it applies but its not my first fire to put out. Then as i read further I could feel the oh so familiar and heavy “Lock-box” that I have carried in my Solar Plexus for decades. I have always suspected that the real me has been hiding in there ever since I was convinced at a very early age that the authentic Lula was not acceptable. (“Fat, lazy, stringy haired, half-assed, not so bright, greedy, selfish…” oh the list does go on.) As an adult I can intellectualize that of course these things are not true, that I am so much more. But I have to be honest with myself, that while I may have convinced myself that this was someone else’s pain being thrust upon me, it is still alive and kicking in side.

    I am now taking care of the person who felt the only way to keep me safe was to keep me down~ Now she is a little old lady, fragile, scared. And my life, as a result of this care-taking, has been completely turned upside down. I have left my friends, my career, my chosen home. I guess I could say, ironically, that I have been given a clean slate in a way- an opportunity to become who I really am, to break open the box.

    SO, the question is..how do I find the key to the lockbox? Where do I look to find my true self and my voice? I have a real sense that now is the time and perhaps finally breaking free while still in her presence might be the true reclamation of self.

    Thank you for the “nudge’!

    • Colette Baron-Reid
      Reply

      that is so powerful and the questions themselves lead to the answers as they are all within us. Pray for the key, allow the grief for the part of you that was put down and for the time ” wasted” then shift , which is what you’re doing already to allow Spirit to nudge you and let your truth be revealed … do it for all of us as we do the same to model for you. Stoke the fire.. until the Light reminds you who you’re meant to become.

  • Anonymous
    Reply

    Owning a newspaper for the past 14.5 years, I thought I was being loud and proud about who I am – and for the most part (in terms of the newspaper) I am, but I notice, on occasion, that my editorials are self-censored. Then I question why I feel I have to do that…because I’ll tick off my mom – I do that without my writings…because my family will be upset – ditto…because I’ll lose my “tribe” – well, in the past 3 years I’ve lost most of them anyway due to life changes resulting from a health crisis…because my life will have to change – ditto! So I’m in reinventing mode, but it isn’t really a reinvention, but a search and rescue party looking for the part of myself that I seem to have forgotten.

    I wrote the following at a writing workshop in 2012 (?)…
    It’s here somewhere. I know it is. Why does the most vital book or piece of paper always seem lost at the bottom of the endless piles of my life? Stacks and stacks of books, papers, ideas, and possibilities. It is here. I know it is. The trick is to find it and not make the situation more chaotic. Is that possible? With my luck it is in the middle of the room at the very bottom of the stack. Is organizing possible or a far-off fantasy? Is it even worth trying or should I start from scratch? A precarious stack is threatening to topple over. If it does how will I manage to get it all together? Where to start? It is in here somewhere. I know it is. I remember it. How did it get so lost? How did this all get so far away from me? It IS here somewhere. I know it is. Will I find it? Is it an illusion? Hopeless. No! It is here somewhere. I KNOW it is. I will find it again and move ahead. It is only out of sight. Temporarily. It is here somewhere. I know it is. I will find it. Soon. Now!

    Thanks again for sharing with us. 🙂

    • Beth
      Reply

      Oops…hit post before identifying myself. Sorry about that. 🙂

      Beth

  • Heather H
    Reply

    Dearest Colette: love, love, love you and your “crazy” to the moon and back!!

    I have always been loud and opinionated especially as an abused child because it kept me safer. I made them think I would tell, think I would fight, think I would expose them. I spoke up for my siblings, challenged the school, neighbors, relatives and our church to help me stop what was going on behind closed doors. It was the 60’s and as a child my word meant nothing. I was a liar, drama queen, looking for attention. I had no choice but to believe this wasn’t done to me purposely, that I wasn’t at fault, that this to would pass or I couldn’t have survived. And so started my journey of always speaking my truth, like it or not, what you see is what you get. As a young adult my “big mouth” was no longer my protection, it became my downfall because I came across as a loud obnoxious bully which was never my intent. First I had to learn that the anger was no longer necessary, that I had choices now and was not under anyone else’s “thumb” and of course I denounced God or any higher power as being phoney and only interested in “good” people. Lol Facing the fact that I made these choices, chose the lessons presented to me and even chose my parents was a hard pill to swallow but also showed me that all life choices were mine to make and no one was responsible for me but me.
    Anyway my point is that I had to quiet myself in order to hear. Messages from my heart, my higher power, my loved ones here and in spirit, Angels, Guides and children all had something to teach me. I struggle to talk softer, stay calmer because I scare the crap out of some people and may miss a very important message from them. So my point is just a reminder to those like me to tone it down a notch and listen carefully and purposefully to others young, old, male, female, black, white etc. And give them an arena to speak their truth. Ask them questions, ask their opinion, thank them, be grateful, give them a heart felt hug (even if they don’t like it lol) and send them on there way, more confident to speak their truth and be their authentic self. There is more than one voice in a choir. Much love to all!!

  • Sharon
    Reply

    I spent Sunday afternoon with a group of wonderful spiritual friends who also supplied us with a reading. In that reading I was told that I need to be more ‘myself’ and not shy away from my power. I need to re-find me, to not be afraid to be controlling, when needed and lay off the control when not needed. It seems my job and certain life circumstances have robbed me of my self-esteem. I do sing loudly in the aisles at the store and do not care if I’m off key or if anyone else hears me. I also dance in the aisles if the song is a good one. I am a work in progress. Thank you for the reminder Colette.

    • Colette Baron-Reid
      Reply

      I get it.. we need to take back what we lost and find the joy in it again. Its never too late to course correct

  • Karen
    Reply

    Thank you for a timely, on point blog about what is collectively going on. I agree that we shouldn’t tone ourselves down and should celebrate our unique weirdness. Your card readings have reflected this and I’ve felt this very echo and see where I need to course correct. Celebrate and “turn up the volume”. The nay sayers will always be just that.

    Move aside negativity and fear/ego…. here we come!

    I am grateful for you messages and insight, they have been invaluable.

  • Michelle
    Reply

    My dearest virtual coffee buddy. <3 YOU continue to be my light in the dark. MANY PAST LIVES of repression from being regarded as a "freak". A healer, wizard, royalty, prostitute, witch, nun…. into THIS incarnation. WE meet again… along with ALL the others of THIS soul family, HERE in THIS tribe. GRATITUDE for a refuge, and a place that feels… "normal:. Going on nearly a decade of your CBR brand. As a DIRECT result , I have recently began to humorously refer to my healing journey as the "Wild Mouse" ride. A thrilling yet albeit anxiety provoking roller coaster ride that I LOVED to ride as a kid growing up in Kansas. SUCH a metaphor of my life to date, as I do a life review… Accepting and MOVING into the future IS easier to navigate ONCE radical self love and the self acceptance of ALL of ME leads the way. I continue to Co-create in the moment with Spirit leading the way… ALWAYS! Small self "get thee to a nunnery!!" Haha! LOVE you dearly. Continued gratitude for the gift of you. Great coffee time. 😉

  • susan marshall
    Reply

    I don’t know who I am, but through a personal tragedy I have no choice but to discover me. The feelings I have had for some time now are causing anxiety as I occassionally allow myself to feel a need to be creative, passionate, and write. But confor.its in a 9-5 job is what everyone expects of me. It is what will take me from nothing and build me a new life which in turn will create a new me. But this voice keeps saying there is something else, there’s another part of me crying to be let out.
    I was defined for years as a mother, a wife, a friend but I always conformed to a societal definition of each. I wasn’t unhappy or so I thought but right now it’s just me…children are grown, husband passed early and my soul is crying. I was never well to do nor was a financially structured to survive without a guaranteed paycheck. But does my soul cry for something I need more, is there something else that will make me more authentic to myself?
    I am searching, fighting through the anxiety, and discovering little things every moment and maybe someday I hope to find what is my authentic self.
    Good luck to all of us and may we learn to speak loudly.

  • Rosalyn Marie
    Reply

    Hi Colette,

    I am so happy to be meeting such like minded people. This I know is happening because I am finally being my authentic self. You know I ask myself what took me so long. As a child I felt different especially from the rest of my family members and have a mother who always spoke my personality out to me and everybody else the way she wanted it to be. As I got older I found out she was labeling me with the personality that was really hers. I believe she saw I was different but didn’t know what it was and wanted to suppress it out of jealously ( I always somehow knew I wasn’t that person). So now I am being my authentic self and loving it and I am starting to write my poetry and drawing and doing my artsy thing (I am a licensed cosmetologist). Thank you so much for helping me through you are a great inspiration. I am having a ball in a new city (Tucson AZ) and being myself who somehow doesn’t really feel like me for some reason!

  • Karen from Calgary
    Reply

    A few years ago I was asked to leave a painting class because I was too “enthusiastic”. I felt that women didn’t like me. Women told me I was too hyper. My mom even told me she hated it that I was so loud and obnoxious. For years I searched and saw psychologists etc. I’m just happy for goodness sakes. Now at 54 I have found ME and I really like mE. When my mom died last year I saw my then girlfriends and said goodbye. I now have real friends. Friends who take me as I am, and i am so content now. And I can be Enthusiastic and it’s ok.
    When I’m kind of quiet, they wonder if I’m ok. Lol

    • Diana Boles
      Reply

      I have had art teachers——who have tried to make me color in the lines too! I’m like, “WHAT!!!! Art doesn’t have boundaries — what the hell are you talking about”. Too enthusiastic —- balderdash! Poppycock!

  • Anonymous
    Reply

    I love your comments. Have a wonderful day.

  • Diana Boles
    Reply

    OMG!!!!! There are so many powerful messages and stories here.
    Digging in the dirt, literally , provides a place where I can dig in the dirt. To reexamine the suppressions that were such a part of the past. Have I really let them go? Has there actually been a healing? Random thoughts flit and fleet through the brain as the hands pinch and pull and twist and shove and yank and drag—sounds like dance moves, right? Well I suppose they are just that. “Shake it up baby, twist and shout”!!!!
    There is a form of Reaki called “Zero Balance”——–this is something so amazing. In these sessions the hidden truths appear. The past that causes the physical ailments of the breath of today. The souls journey centuries old or buried in the memory of childhood. The suppressions, depressions, repressions, that hide the injury that began with the souls twinkle that remained earth bound.
    Sometimes, a silence is necessary. But always, the truth lingers on the perimeter —— “Letting my freak flag fly”.

  • Diana Boles
    Reply

    We all have many “Different ME’s”. Fitting in with different circles doesn’t mean you are NOT being your authentic self. I like to think that it is the exploration of finding the ever growing authentic self who can influence change and endorse honesty without injury. —— even when you have to scream louder to be heard.
    Great advice in the card reading—–especially loved “who are you surrounding yourself with”. Cleaning up the playing field is sooo important. Love to all of you! ??❣

    • Colette Baron-Reid
      Reply

      agree with that one too I have friends from all walks of life but we share a common curiosity and love of life..

  • Anonymous
    Reply

    Thank you…been told so much of my life to be quiet…I never have..never been good at it..never wanted to…OMG..Speak the truth out loud..Got it Got it…drive fast and take lots of chances…

    Angel Blessings..
    Karen

  • Alodie
    Reply

    You rock! thanks for the reminder to take responsibility for living my life to the fullest, and be actively grateful for the freedom that exists in my life by expressing it! Courage takes energy and determination which I am finding both come from self-love & gratitude. And a little “fire” helps too – thanks anger, thanks fun!
    Signed up for a jazz vocal workshop and I’m off to sing with knees knocking!

  • KP
    Reply

    I loved your reading and so loved the teams comments this week – they made the happy in me smile and laugh more !!!!!

    Why have an Eyeore day – when you can have a Tigger day? Spirit wants us to be happy – go ahead and bounce bounce bounce – others will join in – share the happy, share the weird and enjoy life to the max!

  • Lou
    Reply

    Hi Colette,
    I really, really needed to hear this message. Thank’s for being such a clear and loving guiding light ;-). This week life gives me numerous opportunities to stand up for myself and speak my mind. Not always easy, but your words give me the courage to do so. Awesome, thanks!

  • Jerry
    Reply

    I read a statement someone posted on FB – “The older I get, the more I understand that it’s ok to live a life others don’t understand”. It struck me that’s what I have been trying to hide all these years. The traumatic life of so many was mine also and in hiding who I truly am I have missed a lot of joy. No more, I take that saying to heart and find I don’t care anymore if others don’t understand me! All the teachers I have studied with, listened to, followed all brought me to this spot. I’m not quiet any more, I’m not shy anymore, I am exuberant, lively, outspoken, loving, caring and moving ahead. To what…not sure, but I trust it will wondrous! (since it all has been!) Thank you for all you do, you and your Oracle cards have been an awesome help. Some think I am odd and others think I am awesome…I like both of those descriptions! Love all of you.

  • Jan
    Reply

    I am living in a marriage that requires me to tone it down on lots of matters. If I speak what he doesn’t want to hear then I have to deal with the pain of essentially ceasing to exist (stonewalling, walking out, abandoning). It’s very difficult when speaking your heart – even in a carefully chosen, love-filled manner – threatens to tear down your entire world, seemingly leaving you out in the cold and alone. But I am also coming to understand how painful it is to live small – and the more my spirit comes to understand who she *really* is, the less she is even able to remain small. Becoming a butterfly is no easy process!

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