What a weekend! A double full moon wow I didn’t know they existed and now the Solstice although by the time you read this we will have already passed through the portal of Sagittarius’ Integrity, Truth and Freedom, and a look back into the past as we enter the sign of Cancer to root out what just cannot come along in this new version of you and me and Life. If we follow many astrologers advice ( my faves- Robert Ohotto and Debra Silverman- who is on my radio show this week FYI) it’s time to get down and dirty about our denial and time to do a demolition derby on the old foundations. The stories we have been taught about life and the ones we keep telling about ourselves might just have to go.
If you’re playing the same old game and believing the same lies, and acting on the same misinformation and conditioning it will be a slow and painful awakening this summer. However if you’re willing to do some digging, and some repurposing, turning some of that old stuff into mulch for new growth well, new beginnings are assured.
So what kind of stories do we share collectively that affect us at the individual level? One in particular began for me when I was in Kindergarten. There I was all of five years old gathering with my little friends at school to learn a new game- one that has continued to affect me my whole life. This subversive scarcity training for kids became my training ground for a whole lot of birthing “not enough” thoughts and subsequent decisions, choices, actions and their offspring.
It was called Musical Chairs.
You know it right?
Think back to the crazed adrenaline that coursed through those young supple developing veins as you watched nasty little Kathy get pushed out of the game right away crying and then one by one you and your little friends got picked off until only two were left to dance around one chair to crazy clown music.
Not enough chairs prepared my little brain to seek out a competitive edge, to expect a zero sum game and to fall prey to bouts of jealousy and envy. Not for nothing was my nick name “ Me Too!” I’d suffer bruises and kicks to hold on to that last chair or to shove my best friend out of the way to be the last one sitting.
This year I had to face that old story- that there wasn’t enough, that I wasn’t enough, or if I stopped my house would fall down around my ears. I was burned out from the stress of losing our new puppy, delivering my new book Uncharted, and completing another oracle deck. I found I could just not do the same amount of work without feeling like I needed to lie down for a year. Something had to give.
I had to really face that I needed to take a break from my readings but I came up against a real lack of trust that if I stopped pushing forward and working so hard I would be without a chair and end up pushing a bag lady cart.
I had to do some real soul searching and rooting out the story I was raised with and the conflicting messages of plenty and scarcity. Musical chairs was where it began but it had to end here.
I made a decision that no matter that I was afraid to cut back my hours, I would honor my need and act as if I trusted I would be taken care of. I had to walk my talk in the biggest of ways.
Of course, I had to step into Uncharted Waters to find a new story and discover treasure I had not yet known. I had to release the past ideas and wait for the next move. I decided there would be no more game no more comparisons, no more musical chairs.
A few weeks went by and everything began to fall into place. Money I didn’t know I had earned showed up in my inbox, my workshops sold out in less than 2 weeks with a wait list. I started coming up with new ideas for projects that are coming together now. I literally have not had to do readings all summer and even took a break this weekend lying by my pool without one teeny distrustful thought. Now that is progress!
Is it perfect? No but I sure am having fun telling a new story about how Spirit has a plan- yes- really really has a plan!
And here is what I know.. we are all enough, we are all worthy and we need to act as if we believe it.
So.. want a new freedom and a new happiness? Go back in your memory and do a soul retrieval on that little kid that learned about life by playing musical chairs. It’s one big lie … the world is magical and abundant. That’s the real truth.
Love you always and forever!
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