From Rainbows to the Rainbow Bridge – How to Manage the Messy Paradox of Life.!
Updated: June 26, 2016
It’s been one of those weeks, where the chasm between suffering and celebration has been highlighted in my life. The questions as an empath I’ve had to learn to ask myself, and then teach others to ask in my work with intuition is “Am I feeling my own feelings, or am I tuned into the anxiety, fears and suffering of others? Can I discern between what is mine to work through now and what belongs to a past situation still stuck in my body? Can I participate in both grief and celebration gracefully and respectfully without losing myself in one or the other? Can I manage my rage and anger productively?
It’s the first time in quite a while where I’ve been feeling like I’m fully on track with my life, in a state of joyful surrender sprinkled with a healthy ambition, well rested, and excited about creating new classes and workshops centered around my new book Uncharted coming out end of September (stay tuned for an awesome pre-launch with wonderful freebies). I’m launching my Oracle School next year too and excited about certifying Intuitive Oracle Card readers. I’m collaborating on new music and what can I say – I am in my element when I’m co-creating and in service to helping others find their purpose and their joy.
With the stress of our dog Olli getting sick and dying of brain disease earlier this year, then all the work that piled up and me having to cut back on my work regardless of the pile up, which triggered my Bag Lady and Chicken Little goblins to get hypervigilant! So needless to say I had a lot of anxiety and fear that came up for healing. I started to spend more time mentally in places that were not a vibrational match for how I wanted to live my life.
So I went back to basics to clean the nasty bugs that had accumulated off my windshield to get clear that although the roads would sometimes be rocky and even dangerous it was still my job to remain in a state of discernment lest I give into reaction.
It is always my job to stay awake and spiritually aware no matter the conditions.
I’ve been so aware that to expect only miracles and no suffering has been the biggest load of horseshit the New Age has ever dished out. Or maybe it never did and that some teachings just left a whole lot out and it was easier to believe in the white washed version of life and “ascension”.
So FYI if you’re having trouble with the current state of the world and falling prey to more and more bouts of spiritual narcolepsy perhaps my summer reading list can help you with that.
I’ve gone back to revisiting all the material that I basically snorted 30 years ago when I began this awakened journey. I’m reading Science of Mind by Ernest Holmes, The Dynamic Laws of Prosperity, and The Dynamic Laws of Prayer by Catherine Ponder and one of my favorites Working with the Law by Raymond Holliwell. I also have all the Seth Materials piled up by my bedside and in my Kindle since I started channeling the chorus of voices that like to call themselves Fred,(that’s a whole other story – you’ll have to wait for my book!), and last but definitely not least Marianne Williamson’s latest From Tears to Triumph – a must read for all.
So what happens when your life is going really well and then all of a sudden something horrific happens that affects you or someone close to you?
It’s not easy to allow both experiences to exist simultaneously. The paradox of this world is constant and ever requiring us sensitives to be discerning about how long we remain in a reactive state and to be aware of the source of the reaction. It may not be what you think!
As a card carrying straight LGBT supporter I have been painfully aware of the sensitivity that my gay friends have needed right now while the Pride week parades have gathered in a tenuous blend of celebration and grief. When we’re traumatized we need one another even more to feel connected. Terrorism’s core purpose is to sew seeds of hatred and fear at the core of communities, and its done systematically and randomly to make people feel unsafe in their day to day life but when a community is stronger than the fear … well.. it will never split this community apart.
But, I’m rambling now. I’m just hyper sensitive to this kind of hatred, given I come from a family with core memories of being killed in concentration camps, and perhaps my own past lives of being burnt at the stake, and the recent trolling on my Facebook page tour ads by some people who believe all mediums are devil’s spawn.
Important not to take this world personally.
Who decides what you believe? Is it group think? Religious or Political dogma? Peer pressure? Your own fears? Is it Personal experience or something you were told therefore it must be true? Is your reaction because of something that is happening right now or because it’s rooted in so much of the past your body just wakes up screaming that that past thing is happening right now and you can’t think you just need to fight or run?
I spent 2 days in rage this week. Yup I am going to admit this. I was in blinding rage and deep grief right in the middle of all the awesome stuff and on top of the other layers of conditions – all of which are real and true and meaningful.
The rainbow flag became the rainbow bridge in short order.
My friend Althea had called me at 4 am to tell me her little dog died.
He died because he spent 5 days in a kennel in Santa Fe where the staff left him in a cage unattended and I won’t tell the details here because they were so awful to imagine but suffice to say this was a case of gross negligence and animal cruelty. No animal deserves to die the way this little guy did.
This is a hot spot for me- animals- and Althea is my family, plus I knew the little pom- a happy healthy, affectionate little sweety pie.
Thank god for the voice on the phone that says “ if you’re satisfied with your message please press pound”. I don’t want to spew more hatred even if I do for a minute.
Caught red handed.. erase, delete, erase.
I kept praying for the right use of this anger and then we all began to come together- the mutual friends, all of us animal lovers gathering into a community of love and support to bring whatever we could to the table to ease the pain of the suffering for our friend and to find a path to justice for Chu-Chu.
Did this erase everything else going on? No. It was more important for us to show love than hate- to show support than to show rage- to connect through compassion instead of to separate and destroy. Anger is good fuel but it needs to be filtered and directed for good.
This is one story among many stories that are very much alive for me right now.
No matter what.. life will happen, suffering will happen and we mustn’t shy away from that. Yet Miracles can come out of the mud and can co-exist with suffering too.
Life is a complicated hair- ball.
In the moment we can’t find meaning, but if we allow the experience to move through us, allowing for the locusts on our windshields to temporarily blind us, but then wiping them off to continue the journey- we will find meaning beyond our expectations.
We just need to never give up.
So I’m going to ask you to share your paradoxes. What’s been challenging and scary and maybe painful but what has simultaneously been positive and life-affirming? Can we respect both? How do you remain in balance between the two?
Ok this was a long one so kudos to you if you read the whole thing through!!
Love, Light and Rainbows..,
Love you always and forever!