A Valentine for the Ones You Miss

A Valentine for the Ones You Miss

It’s Valentines week – hearts and flowers, chocolate and sexy underwear etc. (not for me this year as mine shrunk in the wash!- wink)Actually I get a kick out of the name my husband likes to call this time of year-the Superbowl of Romance. And yes I do love any holiday that reminds me about love, to give love, and to celebrate love.

When I was a kid my favorite thing in school was making those construction paper Valentines cards for all my little friends in class with my hands all sticky and tongue bright red from eating copious amounts of those red cinnamon heart candies.

And, even the kid that bullied me about my “non Canadian salami sandwich” and who smelled like peanut butter and jam and mothballs that I wasn’t too keen on seemed so much nicer in my head when I made a little heart card for her too.

Funny how that works.

So, I have lots of great memories of Valentines. That would have been a very fun blog if I kept going about those.

I don’t want to be a Debbie Downer. Truth is this weekend I wasn’t running around getting Valentines cards and gifts, and thinking about that at all. I was thinking about something most of us don’t want to talk about around now- the losses, the heartbreak, the loneliness and the longing for those we miss.

I was on a train coming back from the city this weekend and it hit me so hard that over recent years 4 of my dogs died the week of Valentines holiday, and both my parents died in February too- my mom on the 17th and my dad on the 2nd. (Not technically around now, but close enough!)

I considered what was the source of the pain outside of the actual missing of the “person”?

Of course losing your parents carries a huge existential load that does take a long time to process. They are your primary and original source of love, nourishment and safety but also of expectation, and all their shadowy implications- entitlement, disappointment, resentment and intolerance.

I lost them both 26 years ago and its taken me a long time to honor their gifts and love and respect them with all my healthy heart and not the smaller stunted wounded version I’ve since healed. I know I love them, they did their best etc.

I miss my mom’s laughter and the mice and guinea pigs, and our rescued raccoon named Petunia she carried around in her apron pockets so they would stay warm.

I miss my Dad’s larger than life presence that commanded such respect and how incredibly kind he was to waiters and janitors and anyone who served him in any capacity. He treated everyone as if they mattered.

In the case of my dogs, it’s so much simpler and weirdly more painful to contemplate.

Their presence in my life showed me such unconditional love, purity of intent, acceptance and honesty. Other than through my husband Marc I learned more about love and commitment from those furry creatures than any other human could ever have shown me.

And they stay for such a short time. It’s true I chose to adopt sick dogs that came with a quick expiry date. They really taught me about love and loss.

It brought me to remember how all those painful losses – human and animal broke my heart wide open and how that searing pain actually enabled me to have more love to give, more compassion to share, and made more room in my heart for Spirit. My devotion to love comes from that deeper emptiness that only heart wrenching experience can reveal.

The dance steps of this experience are simple-From loss to longing to surrender to appreciation then to celebration yet sometimes the “missing” returns at anniversaries and holidays like this one to remind us to love deeply now and to share it with our full presence because of what broke us open to begin with.

Honoring what we’ve lost reminds us what we have.

So today, I wonder how many of you, when prompted to think about celebrating love this week consider those you miss, and give space for the ache. I hope you’ll share your story in the comments.

I’m with you. Sending you hearts, flowers and hugs.

WEEKLY ORACLE CARD FORECAST

Showing 62 comments
  • Jayne Hannah
    Reply

    Beautiful post. This year I am embracing the ache of my loss and turning it into an opening of my heart to love another. As a young widow of four years – I know it is a privilege to say and hear I Love You. My husband will always be a part of my heart, always, and because of him I know that loving is a celebration. So that is what I am opening myself for and hoping that next year I will have a Valentine to kiss. Much love – Jayne

    • Anonymous
      Reply

    • Marsha
      Reply

      Thank you Colette and Happy Heart Day to you and your hubby! Enjoy as you know Life is Short! I too had 4 losses in less then 6 months a few years ago and still feel the sting especially on a day like this. My parents always made things special and I miss just talking to them.

      You and your messages seem to show up at just the right times… Thank you xo

      Marsha

  • Iona Niihausherman
    Reply

    I lost my daughter ten years ago at a young age (20yrs) and I have learn that her Love is always surrounding me and she shows me her unconditional love. I lost my dog two years ago( actually it was her dog. So I have both ashes in my living room. I celebrate her birthday and Valentine’s Day ❤️

  • Caycee VanDam
    Reply

    It’s amazing you posted this exact blog today!!! I am missing my best friend and mother. It was 2/11/2009 that she went on life support and 2/16/2009, President’s Day, we took her off life support. This morning while everyone was getting ready at work for Valentine’s Day and talking about our time off coming up for President’s Day, I was battling thoughts and feelings inside about theses holidays. I wondered if I will ever experience this time of year again without thoughts of the end of my Momma’s life? So in the midst of these thoughts I made a conscious effort to seek out co-workers that have young children and talk to them about their child’s sweet innocence and excitement for Valentine’s Day and what they made for a Valentine’s Box! It instantly warmed and filled my heart. It filled my heart with joy and LOVE! My heart, that at the time was feeling a little empty became fuller. I hope that everyone that is missing someone can find something in the little things, or little people, to warm their hearts as well. I miss my Momma being here physically with me everyday but I do know with all of my heart she is right by my side. Colette, thank you so much for this blog! For me, it came right on time!

  • Phyllis
    Reply

    Of course I miss my parents and 2 of my sisters, but especially my husband. I still talk to him, feel him and notice signs he has sent but I try to decorate his memorial site for holidays. He’s always included..valentine es day is no different and I also leave love notes for him and maybe post a special song on fb for him.the physical may be hone and missed but the spirits of my loved ones are with me daily. And he will be my forever valentine!

  • Margie Bach
    Reply

    Thank you Collette. I lost my husband almost 2 years ago now. Our anniversary was February 7th, it would have been our 30th. We used to celebrate the whole month, our month of love. I have lost many people, but this one cuts the deepest and nearly took me out. I love your phrase,”from loss to longing to surrender to appreciation to celebration.” I waver between all of them at times but I feel the loss and longing fading a little bit in the distance now and many times I feel appreciation. I was struck by a tremendous outreach of support on my anniversary and realized all the love I still have in my life, of all shapes and sizes. I was also pleased to see the contrast of old friends and new and was mindful of all the “new” that has come into my life in 2 years. It is what sustains me, love in all its forms. Happy Valentines Day! I thank you for reaching out to those of us who have lost their Valentine.

  • Margie Bach
    Reply

    Thank you Collette. I lost my husband almost 2 years ago now. Our anniversary was February 7th, it would have been our 30th. We used to celebrate the whole month, our month of love. I have lost many people, but this one cuts the deepest and nearly took me out. I love your phrase,”from loss to longing to surrender to appreciation to celebration.” I waver between all of them at times but I feel the loss and longing fading a little bit in the distance now and many times I feel appreciation. I was struck by a tremendous outreach of support on my anniversary and realized all the love I still have in my life, of all shapes and sizes. I was also pleased to see the contrast of old friends and new and was mindful of all the “new” that has come into my life in 2 years. It is what sustains me, love in all its forms. Happy Valentines Day! I thank you for reaching out to those of us who have lost their Valentine.

  • Victoria
    Reply

    My dear Collette….
    I so resonate and appreciate this post..Loss of those we Love is immensely painful… My husband and I have, over the last 35 years, had 13 dogs and have lost 10 of the…. And then there are the family and friends who have passed…..Add to that the fact that I have worked in the funeral business since I was 14, and serve at about 120 funerals per year….

    It’s so noble of you to remember and write about the fact that this time of year is immensely difficult for so many. Thank you!

    Also, I’m an astrologer and so often work with people who are grieving….. I’ll also use your cards during the readings, and I have to say that WISDOM OF THE ORACLE deck is SPOT ON…. EVERY TIME!!!! I use and love HIDDEN REALMS and MAP as well!

    So, M’Lady….. keep doing your magic and facilitating inner knowing…. You’re mighty fine at it.

    Blessings of Love to you.
    Go gently…
    Victoria

  • Michele
    Reply

    Oh the tears that are streaming down my face, from your very profound story. My husband and I were just talking about Valentine’s Day, and that it has lost some of it’s sparkle for us, due to profound happenings in our lives at this time of year. We had to put down our very first dog on Valentine’s Day, as her paw was curling under, and she could no longer walk. Then our veterinarian came out to our house to give her the shot she needed, delaying his plans for the evening. (Feelings of great sadness, and profound blessings all at once) We moved our niece out of her home on Valentine’s Day, it seemed that her marriage failed, and she needed some help. Now, I am having some potentially major medical issues, and am going for a nuclear stress test on Valentine’s Day. The doctor’s office wasn’t sure if I would feel comfortable getting the test that day, but I thought, how right! To get a heart test, on a day that is all about hearts! I know that my people will be with me, and all will be well, no matter the outcome. See, my mother, who is on the other side, screamed at me when I had my original heart attack 3 years ago this March. I will ALWAYS remember that day, and what she said to me, “What the Hell are you doing? Get up! You are having a heart attack!” She screamed that into my mind, so I know she will be with me tomorrow, along with all her gang who have passed. Thank you for sharing your story with us, it’s nice to be able to share. Spreading some love to you and your family, and all who read this. Happy Valentine’s Day!

  • GenevieveWilliams
    Reply

    I miss you Allen “Billy”Williams. You were my husband and the the love of my life. Happy Valentines Day in Heaven, my sweet. I think of you always. This year will be twelve years since you died but I still can’t believe you’re gone. I will be with you again.

  • Amanda
    Reply

    My dad passed away unexpectedly a year ago today. Last year, I thought to myself Valentine’s Day would never be the same because I would always associate it with his death. Thank you for posting this as it fits my struggle perfectly. I do honor the love I have for him and realize that although he’s gone, my love for him is not.

  • Kerris
    Reply

    I have no choice but to thick of my Dad on Valentines Day. It’s his birthday. It’s also no accident that my Dad’s journey showed me the uttermost importance of love. I miss you daddy. Happy birthday

  • Lisa
    Reply

    Colette, I’m so sorry for all of your losses. Right now, I’m dealing with the loss of the love of my life: my husband, Hank. He was only 56. We were happily married for 29 years and had known each other for 35! In September 2016, things started going wonky. In October, we found out he had had “quite a few” small strokes weeks prior, in addition to recent ones (by the time we could get a referral & I pushed for a neurologist to see him), then even more. Those strokes, we ultimately found out, were coming from a “very aggressive” cancer in his abdomen and on his lung & in-between his lungs (not due to smoking, he was a non-smoker). He was diagnosed on Nov. 17th and passed away on Dec. 14th. It was quick.

    We didn’t even realize it was Christmas the next week. Then New Year’s then Hank’s birthday was Feb. 6th, so for months we’ve had non-stop holidays without him…and now Valentine’s Day. No more cards or flowers from him, no more strong hugs or hearing his wonderful laugh. I still don’t think it’s real sometimes & I wish I could sense him but I know my grief is still too raw so that’s probably interfering. So much pain, so many tears that come in waves; sometimes expected, other times, seemingly out-of-the-blue. He was one in a million: generous, kind, hardworking, supportive, intelligent, and gorgeous to boot! I so miss his physical presence. I miss HIM. And, even though I am a medium myself, it’s still very, very painful to lose a loved one and especially THE love of your life, too early. Thank you for ‘listening’. Sending you healing wishes, Colette.

    • Jan
      Reply

      Holding you in the warmest hug and with much love❣

      • Lisa
        Reply

        Thank you, Jan and LisaB! Since I have no family support other than my son or friends, I’ll take all the online warmth and support I can get. It is very much appreciated. ((HUG))

    • Lisa B
      Reply

      Wow–Sending you lots of loving & healing wishes, Lisa!

  • Erica Mitchell
    Reply

    I lost my husband a little over two years ago. My birthday is on the 18th so this is always a hard time of year for me. I love what you said Colette, it is so true that in losing him my heart did break open and I do love so much more. I wish everyday he was still here but also known that losing him changed me and I love the person I have become. I know that he is still with me always and that brings me comfort. Sending hugs, love and light to all those missing their loved ones at this time of year and always.

  • Reggie
    Reply

    So true every word.. as tears stream. Down my face..I find it a painful honor to remember my loved ones past I believe they know I am doing it and it helps. Every holiday. I remember and thank them and my higher power for the time I had..((hugs)) to all dealing with lost loved one too humane &furry.

  • Cynthia Eyer
    Reply

    I really miss my son, John Shawn Callahan II, 03/27/80 – 09/21/2003. I miss his heart, his laughter, his deeply devoted love, his friendship, my one and only child–my SON. Love you Johnny! Mom

    • Colette Baron-Reid
      Reply

      so beautiful – every post is so meaningful. Thank you every one of you

  • Theresa Blanton
    Reply

    God bless you! Good ole pup pups! I sure do miss Mama. Love you lady! Have fun today with your fella and pup pups! ❤????

  • Pam
    Reply

    Thank You Beautiful Soul ~ Wishing you a wonderful Valentines Day! To all those grieving the loss of a loved one I send you loving healing energy ????

  • Mary List
    Reply

    Beautifulllll.

  • Vera
    Reply

    Thank you Colette, it is hard any holiday… I lost my son 8 years ago and every day I am thinking if I could do something to prevent , but almost every day when I see 11:11 on a clock ,( my date of birth), I know he is with me…

  • Debra
    Reply

    Thank you Colette for your story. I think of my Dad often & every holiday he is in my heart, he was always there when i was sruggling with tough times in life, and i still feel him closeness when i am having a down time, even in death. I have also lost a husband & close friend. Many loses as we all do. I do feel surrounded by love & peace always and am grateful for all the love. Happy Valentines Day. Sending love. Deb. T

  • Darlene
    Reply

    Collette , My missing is double actually . My husband passed four years ago. We were married for 25 years and together for 27. His death was sudden and came as a shock when I found him sitting on a park bench in our yard not breathing. I did CPR and they did revive him , but he had been too long without oxygen to the brain and suffered brain death . Never regained consciousness. Hardest thing n the world to turn off that machine and let him go.I begain dating another man a while back and we were so very happy . He treated me like a queen . Always bringing flowers and sending me beautiful cards . Suddenly on New Years day this year , he told me he did not love me and did not want a relationship . Just the week before we had a beautiful Christmas togethead he even gave me a romantic loving card and wonderful gifts . The night before said he loved me and then dropped me next day with no explanation . Last year Valentines day he gave me flowers and a ring . Now he is gone and have not heard one word since that day . So I am missing two loves … one here and one gone . You never know what life will hand you . Love the best you can n the moment as you never know when that moment will end .Thank you for your blog as it always lifts me up to know I am not the only one to feel this way .

  • Janet
    Reply

    Colette, I loved the video and especially the blog! You are truly a heart-opened person, and I am sure you gave those puppies a beautiful period of time before they passed on. Pets always seem to give back ten-fold. I appreciate so much all that you offer of yourself and your optimism for life…..you are such a wonderful example of being authentic. As someone who tends to hold her feelings in, I see how much more beautiful it is to open and share – it touches others in an amazing way. Thanks for your fine example. Happy Valentines Day! P.S. I say go for the sexy underwear!!!

  • Kristen lane
    Reply

    I lost my brother who was my best friend in 2002 who h I’m still having a very hard time with then I had kids with 2 different individuals unfortunately both of my kids is Dad have died too and I’ve lost all my grandparents except for my one grandma so holidays are very hard for me to deal with it’s a time of depress for me I would skip all of it if I could but I have to pull myself together for my kids and celebrate for them and teach them about everyone we’ve lost n the joy they brought to my life since they didn’t get the pleaser of meeting them

    • Colette Baron-Reid
      Reply

      Thank you every one of you who posted your poignant stories here. I have approved all of them and decided not to comment as what I might say felt almost trite. Let this be a place to share without” cross talk” holding space for each person in their tender vulnerability … LOVE YOU ALL

  • Rolene
    Reply

    It is so incredible you posted this. For the first time this year I felt really low today and wondered why. February has been a month that brings up a lot of loss and I wondered why today of all days I was so miserable. So I honoured my feelings by letting them come up no matter how painful. Tomorrow is another day and although it won’t be Valentines Day, it will be a day to return to love.

  • Jan
    Reply

    I share some of the same losses. Your blog and the comments of fellow life travelers touch my heart and Soul. Thank you all for extending yourselves and sharing. I feel less alone right now and deeply connected to each of you. You are loved. I am so grateful to be with you today ❣

  • Ann
    Reply

    Thank you Colette for a beautiful blog. My husband Ted passed 15 years ago. Today would have been our 58th wedding anniversary, and miss him and love him as much as I did the day he passed. Thank you again for a beautiful blog

  • Anonymous
    Reply

    I lost my mom on valentines day many years ago she was only 52 and I was 16 but still feels new on that day every year.
    now we just lost my mother in law a few days ago on the 11th.
    I know they are at a vibration that is wonderful and at home still this knowing is bittersweet. I choose to feel honored to have had them and others in my life, as well as many fur babies no matter the difficulty’s we, had to navigate this earthly uncharted place.
    It to took many years to let go of the pain and blame and just fill my heart with love and gratitude for it all. I thank you and our tribe for the ability to do that. hugs on this day thank you for that gift.

    • jennifer windsor
      Reply

      sorry I did not put it as Anonymous on purpose I always forget to put my name hugs to all

  • Sue
    Reply

    I lost my dad in 2010, the kindest man who walked down the block. He would talk to anyone and would help anyone. He loved my mom who I lost in 2015, now they are both together. That makes my soul a little lighter, even though I miss them. I went to a medium and it gave me a lot of closure,I know they are close. I was deeply saddened recently that my daughter had to lose someone close to her. I didn’t want her to have to deal with that pain. One of her closest friends committed suicide. She found out love can her hurt in that moment. Everyday is getting a little easier, but she will never forget that impact that moment left on her and her life.

  • Laurie
    Reply

    Colette~ nothing less that real and raw from you ???? I think this hits a energy center in me. I lost my mother suddenly and (tramatically) and my Father to that C word and my last fur baby to a tumour.Not being in a relationship, I call Valentine’s Day -Single’s Awareness Day as the messaging commercially seems to leave a black hole for those who aren’t in love, or in relations quotations. I love this message that it is okay to give tribute to those we have loved and lost as well as Every-one in our lives now. Thank you.

    • Lynn Marie
      Reply

      I have come to think of Valentine’s Day as the craziest day of the year, too many expectations and disappointments. I didn’t used to think of it this way, it’s really supposed to be a rather nice holiday to show people you care about how much you love and appreciate them, not necessarily the day to wear kinky lingerie and re-enact scenes from 50shades of grey or your favorite porn flick!!! It’s gotten out of hand. And I miss a lot of nice relatives I had who have passed away, all of my grandparents and my Godparents are gone now, my parents are in their early 70’s and I feel like they will be next, and I don’t seem to get along that well with them no matter how hard I try to, especially with my dad. I’m not feeling too much love from anyone today, I seem to be the person everyone loves to hate, I’m always alone

  • collette
    Reply

    I lost my husband this summer and this is my first Valentine’s day by myself– so far the day has been filled with sad memories and loneliness but after listening to your reading it lifted my spirits and I realized that it was up to me to act.. will go visit a friend who is housebound and that I haven’t seen in ages. I know I can cheer her up and how much she will appreciate the visit.
    I appreciate your readings so much– seems there’s always a message in there for me or a clue to a problem, etc. Thank you for being genuine , caring and sincere in your readings, please never change.
    Your book “Uncharted” is a huge help and eye opener also, I’ve read it 3 times so far and memorize so much of what I want to use in my daily life.
    Thank you–Love you

  • Susan
    Reply

    Colette thanks for the tears. Like you, I have lost many pets, my own, as well as my friends animals who I considered my own. They taught me more about love and compassion than any human. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about them and hope they are in a better place (although I would bring all of them back instantly if I could). My dog Saba is 14, so I know another heartbreak is on the horizon, but I wouldn’t trade her for the world. Not a day goes by that she doesn’t make me smile and laugh and jump for joy. I want to say “Happy Valentines” to all of our furry friends out there who make life on this crazy earth worth every minute.

  • Sue Paulson
    Reply

    Dear Colette,
    I, too remember the fun of making Valentines for classmates as a kid. But on reflection, I realized that it is kind of a sweet – sour day. Single again in my fifties, I got dumped by email on Valentine’s Day. Ouch! It was a relationship that I thought was going to be my happily ever after, so the shock of the ending was pretty intense.

    We did get back together a few months later and spent five years together. During that time, a week before Valentine’s Day, I was diagnosed with cancer. Still raw from the news, our hearts and flowers dinner was poignant to say the least.

    Although our relationship did not survive through the cancer Adventure, I’m happy to say that 6 years later I not only survived, but I am thriving,

    Thank you so much for writing this blog. It caused me to reflect and go deeper. I realize how wonderfully grateful I am 4 all the love that does exist in my life. I am richer for all the experiences of love and loss and those experiences have gifted me with boundless compassion and a bigger, more open heart.

  • Blair
    Reply

    My only child Reid passed away 18 months ago just a couple of weeks before he graduated from college. I had already lost many people in my life yet no loss prepared me for the incredible pain and longing. Reid is now my guide and he touches my life constantly in subtle and direct ways. Because of his constant connection I am no longer afraid to die and I have a deep sense of connection with the divine. I also would give everything I have and then some to put my arms around him again.

  • Nancy
    Reply

    Thank you Colette for thinking of those coping with loss on a day when we are bombarded with messages of love, belonging and couple-ness. My husband Steve passed less than two years ago, too young, and this is the hardest holiday of all because of its super-cheerful focus on love. But love is nuanced and is part of grief and sorrow: we miss our loved ones intensely because we felt them just as intensely when they were with us physically. What a gift it was to have time with them! And there is no death, only a period of waiting until we see each other again, this time perfectly. I can hear Steve’s hearty laugh, his frighteningly loud sneezes, feel the warmth of his flannel shirt when he hugged me, still see him standing in the shoes I can’t give away. I remember all these and other details today so I can honour the wonderful human being Steve was. I send love, blessings and warm hugs to all of you who are remembering, with tears and smiles, your missing loved ones today.

  • Anonymous
    Reply

    Beautiful thoughts and words from a beautiful soul. Thank you. I am planning my mothers celebration of life and frustrated that I have no help from my siblings and not even sure they are going to attend this Saturday. Your words are soothing and give me strength and understanding and compassion for them and others that I meet everyday. My heart is wide open and I miss her so much. Thank you!

  • Barbara
    Reply

    Thank you for sharing so deeply from your heart, Colette. Your post brought back many painful memories as well as exuberant feelings for me, too. My fur ball babies who were such a special addition to my life taught me many lessons and played an important part in my ability to love unconditionally… a trait I’m still trying to develop toward people who have inflicted me with scars. Happy Valentine’s Day!

  • Lana Mederos
    Reply

    What beautiful words! And thank you for allowing us to share one another’s grief and pain. But also share the celebration of Love and how precious it is. The love of my lI’ve passed on a bit over 7 months ago. The pain is big, but the love was bigger! ♡

  • Ruth Ann Greuling
    Reply

    This week, I’m visiting my beloved Santa Fe, contemplating whether it is time for me to return to living here. With me, I have my mom’s ashes. In her last week of life, the Hospice chaplain asked her where in her long, fulfilled life did she treasure living the most? Without skipping a beat, Mom answered Santa Fe. So on this week of love, I return my mom’s spirit to the home she dearly loved. Blessings to all.

  • Sally
    Reply

    Thank you for this beautiful homage to our Valentines in heaven. I lost my mother-in-law four years ago on 2/16 and my dear grandmother several years ago on 2/15. They were both like mothers to me and have helped me to grow so much through their absence. This is crazy, but I didn’t realize the connection of their deaths until I read this blog. I’m sure it was no accident that they both passed away within a day of one another so close to Valentine’s Day. They were both on their final transition in the days leading up to their deaths. They have both been my guides in spirit helping me to love myself and to be in my heart.

  • Marina
    Reply

    I find that today I can honor the Love so much more than the loss. My heart is overflowing with gratitude for all my parents taught me during their time on Earth, and for all the things their departure continues to teach me. My mom, in particular, LOVED Valentine’s Day – we always got mushy, heart-covered cards filled with x’s and o’s … and candy – lotsa chocolate! 🙂 Thanks for this post, Colette – feels good to read and share 🙂 Love & Light to All 🙂

  • Melissa
    Reply

    Beautiful Colette! I got through on Kyle’s show yesterday and spoke with him about weird messages etc. relating to my dear sweet Lady who crossed 5 months ago the 12th of September. He was so helpful. My little Prince is still adjusting to the loss of his girl and though it was heartshattering I think we made it through the worst. Today i walked into Starbucks and a song Lady clearly sent to me last week was playing loudly as I chose my tasty comfort beverage. It was the best Valentines gift ever. The song…MY LOVE…by Sir Paul McCartney. Love you Colette xo

  • Diane Cropper
    Reply

    How wonderful for you to post this message – it’s greatly appreciated. The message is helpful to me being new on this path because it shows me and helps me to know that it is okay to reflect and long for your loved ones and pets who are no longer here instead of feeling as though something is wrong with me because I’m not doing cartwheels over a day like Valentine’s Day.

    Colette, you’re a big sister to a whole bunch of folks and I appreciate your honesty and the balance in your messages because you are helping us grow. I love how down to earth you are – so, Thank You for your openness, laughter, and your willingness to give of yourself…even when you may be tired. Big hugs from Long Beach, CA!

  • Karen Hamilton
    Reply

    I loved seeing the sweet little grey doggie in the back ground! Happy Valentine’s Day!

  • Lisa B
    Reply

    Thank you, Colette! I only read the blog today (saw the video when it was posted 🙂
    I was just sharing with my sisters about how we made those valentine boxes in school (in the 60’s) and gave EACH and EVERYONE a card whether they were nice or not to us, and, yes, it really did feel good.
    Thanks for letting your blog also be a place for people to share all of life’s experiences!
    Hugs to you!

  • Renee Sugar
    Reply

    Such a beautiful subject to reflect on.
    “There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval. The dark background that death supplies; brings out the tender colors of life in all of their purity.”
    George Santayana
    Heartbreak, can be both an ending, loss, maybe of a person; or a part of our lives, or our self as we had previously known it. Breakdown precedes a breakthrough; shattering the past and closing the doors that are no longer meant to remain open. Nothing is static, the love of our parents; relatives and significant people who have left an indelible imprint on our hearts. Irreplaceable all of them.
    I love this quotation. “Some people come and leave quickly through our lives. Others leave water-colored footprints on our hearts and we shall never be the same.” As I learn to celebrate each day as a blessing and gift; it makes me acutely aware of the impact of tragic losses, and why I need to remind myself that each moment is never to be repeated in the same way. ” Experiencing” life offers a very different perspective from being on autopilot. Painful as it can be; I would choose “experiencing” any day.

  • Cynthia
    Reply

    Before seeing this, I did reconnect with 3 of my former co-workers. Though it was due to sad circumstances of losing one of our co-workers at 52 very unexpectedly, it was really nice to reconnect with them. I wish though I were feeling the “blessed” part this week…in a really wonky place with my relationship.

  • Sharon
    Reply

    I lost my dad October 2016 and I lost my mom 16 years ago. Friday, 2/17 is my mom’s birthday. I have been going through a very difficult time recently and would LOVE if they would visit in a dream. What I would not do to have another conversation with my mom and ask her advice on how she got through what I am currently experiencing. However, I have been told that I must walk this path alone. Perhaps when another brighter path appears, so will my parents.

  • Tetiana
    Reply

    Hi Colette. Thank you for your story. I lost my husband just six month ago, in August 2016. 3 of February it was his birthday. This is the first Year with all holidays without him. My Joe was an amazing man, the best one for me. I missed him so much…
    Also my dad and my grandparents, and my cousin not here any more, but i still love them with all of my heart.

  • Anonymous
    Reply

    Thank you so very much Colette for finally making me understand my emotions on this day. I lost my fiance 4 years ago to an accident. Valentines day 7 years ago was the day we met. I miss him very much. Then 3 years ago, I had to say goodbye to my 15 yr old cat. And although I miss my fiance, I have the biggest pain in heart and still cry for my fur baby. I understand now, thanks to you, that yes, that cat gave me uncondtional love, devotion and companionship that I don’t think a human can quite match. He was the best cuddle bunny, quite a talker, and no matter how bad he was feeling, would always follow me everywhere, he trusted me with his life. The vet told me that he was hanging on for me “rallying” for me. I would have to be the one to know when. It was the most painful feeling when that day came. I asked the vet to come to the house. I held him until the end. I often feel guilty, silly and confused that I still have such a painful heart and cry for my cat, while I am accepting now of my fiance. Your words in this blog have now enlightened me as to why and I can’t thank you enough! You truly are an amazing human being!

    • Colette Baron-Reid
      Reply

      thank you for sharing.. and again many thanks to all of you for sharing too. I didn’t want to leave comments after your posts because I felt it was more respectful to give you space to share and all of us privileged to read your words can just be here in support .. nodding our heads.. and sending hugs in silence..
      Love you all..

  • John O'D'Zeus
    Reply

    My older sister Robyn died in a horse riding accident at the age of 19. It was a massive tragedy for our family, and the surrounding community. Yet as the years have passed, I have realised that Robyn gave me the greatest gift that anyone will ever give me. She chose a shortened life … which with her death would have a profound impact on many other lives – our father, our mother, our sister, her ex-boyfriend, various horse riding instructors. All of these lives were changed thereafter. The day of her death (and strangely the night before too), was for me the planting of the seeds to view all of life very differently, and to start the process of recognising and aligning with soulestial energies. I miss her very very deeply, but am just as very very deeply grateful for the astonishingly loving gift she has bestowed. Thank you Robyn … and thank you Colette for the opportunity to express this.

  • John O'D'Zeus
    Reply

    Some feedback on synchronicity. I just posted a comment on this site about my sister Robyn who died. Typically Robyn gets my attention via small birds (aligning with her name, and reminding us both to fly lightly through life). These small birds will impose themselves on my attention, when she wants my attention.
    I had scrolled away from the previous post I made to you. A fly landed on my computer screen (which incidentally also has input by touch). That fly scrolled back down to this comment box, inviting me to leave another comment … I guess?
    I believe Robyn may be asking me to remind all of us, that we each have our own totems in nature, that symbolise the communications from our special soul mates in-spirit to us – we just need to identify and assign these totems and thereafter be aware of their presence.
    Another example – My Grandfather smoked a pipe, and I was the only other person allowed to light it. Every so often, I will suddenly, for no apparent reason, get a smokers cough, and that is him announcing his presence, and making me consider more deeply my current thoughts / actions.
    If fascinates me that sometimes our interactions with people are more loving, caring, and helpful after they have died.
    Sending love to our in-spirit soul partners.

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