#metoo Out of the Silence Comes Dignity and Healing!

Updated: November 7, 2017

#metoo Out of the Silence Comes Dignity and Healing

I like to blog about things related to how we co- create reality, and solutions that can help us become the person we want to be. I am always focused on this and feel it’s important to know there is a spiritual solution for every problem. I also only write about what I know and what I’ve overcome. I share only from experience. I have to keep it real, or you’re going to be reading fluff, and if you’re anything like me you can smell BS a mile away. Not into stinky.

I’ve been watching the trending topic of the #metoo movement that has set fire to Hollywood in recent weeks. To be honest I have taken my time rather than jump in because I think it’s a very sensitive issue, and yes I tend to stay away from hot button issues (like politics and religion too) because they can be divisive, and it’s not why people read my blogs.
I have been called to talk about this regardless.

For those of you that don’t know what I’m talking about in a nutshell it began with movie mogul Harvey Weinstein being called out for sexual abuse, and then an avalanche of women began to share their stories, and then some men came to add their voices too.
In the past few weeks #metoo has been shared millions of times on social media as women and men who have experienced sexual abuse from people in power have spoken out about their secrets and shame, and how the experience affected them.

Make no mistake this form of abuse is soul destroying and will, for some people, create an internal set up, a commitment to maintain all manner of coping behaviors that can take a lifetime to unravel.
Not talking about it, keeping it a secret is the first way in which we rob ourselves of our true nature of joy and abundance. Our dignity and self worth depends on sharing and healing.

Last night my husband and myself watched a movie called Wind River and there is a rape scene in the film that brought back so many memories, I knew it was time to add my voice.

I remember the hushed and raging sounds in our home when our mother forbade our male babysitter to return to our house. He and his family moved away shortly after that and all I remember is being afraid to say no to anything. I had an unnatural sense of fear that something bad would happen to me if I said no. I was only 3 years old.

Years later at 19 I was the victim of a group rape. I was so terrified and filled with shame I didn’t talk about it. A couple months after I collapsed on my parents doorstep with a super high temperature because I had a severe infection from the rape. At the hospital my mother told me she had been raped by Russian soldiers in WW2 in front of her father- same age, same month. She was tough about it, and looking back I knew this was how she learned to survive, and she told me when I saw the psychiatrist ordered by the hospital I was not allowed to talk about being raped or anything else about our perfect family.

The next few years was a haze of violence, drug addiction, alcoholism and choices of self destruction. I got clean and sober in my mid twenties- almost 33 years ago and I have looked back every day to remind myself how far I have come.
It began in women’s groups in church basements where we could share openly and stay in the solution of the program we all followed and one day at time I rebuilt my life and changed my story.

The point of this sharing with you is not just to say #metoo but to say there is a solution, and a way to heal the damage that shapes the stories we tell ourselves and others about who we are and what we will tolerate to survive.

I came to believe in a HIgher Power that was my partner, that if I prayed, and surrendered my story and asked for good direction, to do no harm and to live spiritually clean and I would be shown the way and I was. I stumbled through it all and became the woman I am today. I am a woman with dignity self respect and a healthy sense of self worth- nowhere near perfect but no one will ever dare abuse me again.

But it all still lives in the cells of my body. I can still have terror attacks when I get triggered and I need to set a boundary but I do it anyway. You learn that courage to choose something healthy and self respecting doesn’t come when there is no more fear or anxiety. You do it no matter what. Eventually the self you want to become is stronger than the self you once were. But there will be echoes, but that is all they are in the end.

One day you may even meet someone who was part of your violation and face them with understanding as I wrote about in my book Uncharted, and actually I talk about all this in various ways in all my books.

Our secrets keep us sick. Speaking out is the key to freedom. My mom was a survivor and never dealt with what happened to her, also countless times. She was a product of a time in our history when women had way less power than we do now.
The only way to the solution is to speak then to do something about it.

We can heal but sharing is the essential step to finding and working on the solution. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.
Out of the Silence Comes Dignity and Healing….I hope this blog helps even one person speak up and heal.

#metoo
Love you all.. Thanx for reading this.

 

WEEKLY ORACLE CARD GUIDANCE AND LESSON

Showing 39 comments
  • Mary List
    Reply

    Beautifullll !!!!

    • Mary
      Reply

      Thank you Colette. You make me smile. xo

  • Charla Miller
    Reply

    Beautiful post, loud clear and concise. I look forward to saying hello to you this weekend @Soulpolooza. Until then be well and thank you!

  • Kimberly
    Reply

    “We are the ones we’ve been waiting for” YES!!!
    I did participate in the #metoo as well, from a place of unity and strength, not as a victim.
    Our stories are of courage and perseverance and that is why your statement I quoted above is absolutely perfect!
    Love to you and all our sisters!????????????

  • Cynthia Marie Eyer
    Reply

    ????????????❣

  • Rebecca Smith Hill
    Reply

    I don’t follow you much. I tend to delete because of all the emails. I like to be interested when the time feels right.
    This was spot on. We are rising up out of that quiet.
    Thank you for this post!
    Namaste

    • Colette Baron-Reid
      Reply

      glad you were called to read it today. I know emails are tricky and we send a lot during Oracle School Launch but we are figuring a way so people can opt out of the ones they don;t want 😉 thanx for not completely unfollowing xoxox

  • Lorna Pinder
    Reply

    ????????????????

  • Anonymous
    Reply

    Dearest love,

    Pointing the finger lays blame while putting the finger on it heals.

    Thank you

    Jazia

    • Colette Baron-Reid
      Reply

      so so so true.. we need to put the finger on it.. the blame does nothing but keep the story anchored

  • Darlene
    Reply

    Hi Colette, So sorry you had to go through something like this. I know how it feels being a rape survivor myself. I agree that we all need to speak out and it does bring healing to the extent that we are sharing our voice and we are not alone. In my line of work, [fit model] sexual assault and harassment was the norm, and time shave not changed. I have a hard time getting the other models to talk about their experences because it could cost them their careers. It is becoming increasingly clear that the book I am writing is exceedingly timely. Suspected predators like Harvey Weinstein, and Bill Cosby, make “Unzipped: Chronicles of a Fashion Fit Model” a must read for any woman going through this type of trauma. You Colette, have helped so many and I bow to your wisdom always. Thank you Darlene

  • Barb
    Reply

    Great blog. Knowing your story, knowing how strong you are today, makes your writing even more powerful.

  • Lisa Grube
    Reply

    We are as sick as our secrets……..The truth will set you free.
    Out of the silence comes dignity and healing…..again so true. The courage to change one step, and day at a time. Thank you and #metoo.

  • Laura
    Reply

    Colette, what a blog. I never commented before but you are so courageous and brave. What a story- you are a leader and living example that out of all that trauma you not only survived,but thrived!!!! God has helped you heal and go on to inspire so many others.
    Thank you for sharing your story. I read you emails all the time since i am not on facebk, and enjoy them always.
    Keep spreading the love. Blessings and healing to you through all the events you have transformed and emerged as love and beauty????

  • Tracy Liberty
    Reply

    Blessings to you, Dear Woman. We must all claim our Sovereignty and this weird way, our pain can allow for us to do that. I just watched Wind River over the weekend, too, and had to walk out of the room during the rape scene. And on another strange note, you were in my dreams last night! You were tearing up while telling me what you were “seeing” for me, and we were discussing Oracle cards…there was even a new deck I had never seen before. Anyways, our collective consciousness/subconscious is always so fascinating!

    Much love!

  • Cindy Freeman
    Reply

    Oh, Colette, thank you so much for sharing. It takes bravery to do that! My heart aches to hear what happened to you, and hope you continue to overcome it. <3

  • Julie Walker
    Reply

    Thank You Colette!!!
    Love the readings????

  • Shelley
    Reply

    Dear, dear Colette and All;
    Colette, bless you for sharing your experience, and your strength and hope.
    It is a huge step in freeing ourselves from the chains of silence when we are able to tell even one other person; “this happened”.I honestly don’t think I know one woman who has not experienced some form of assault or harrassment. I worked with male survivors of sexual abuse, so I know for that this violation happens to numerous men as well.
    As for myself, from as far back as I recall…including being invited for coffee at age 13 with a policeman who was keenly interested in what I thought about sex (?!) to an apartment superintendant having suggestive conversations with me, assaults at an even younger age by a group of girls, groping in a hallway by my then “boss” at age 18 and subsequently losing my job because I spoke to a colleague about it,violent rape by a “boyfriend”, sexual assault by a physician who had previously been reported by a number of women…the list goes on.
    The point is, as you said Colette, I am much more than my stories. These experiences have taught me to find a spiritual solution (the alcohol and drugs weren’t real effective beyond temporarily and harmed me, so how is that OK?). I cannot heal if I don’t face what I need to face.
    I feel so deeply grateful that women like you and others have shown me a way to heal, to rise way above these experiences, and to use them towards my own and others’ healing. I will always pass along this hope and light where and whenever I can. That is the gift from the pain, the silver lining in the cloud.

    Today, I am free. I hold no resentment towards those who assaulted me. That was a long process. I didn’t want to be chained down by anything, and resenting created heavy, toxic energy in ME, I don’t want that in my life. I did not sweep anything under the rug, I grieved for that innocent and trusting girl I was. Today I am trusting again, but not innocent, I know how to be safe, even if only within myself.

    My point in all of this is to reinforce that there is hope, there is healing, and in speaking out (those who can or want to) we empower others. This time in history is a time of truth coming out on a bigger scale than ever before. If you’ve experienced assault, tell someone you trust. Or share it via a telephone counseling service if that’s where you need to begin. Or, read about healing from the experience. Whatever it takes, you too, can heal. ♥

    Thank you, Colette for addressing this. Your courage shines a light for all of us.
    Blessings to all, and endless love. ♥

  • Lisa W
    Reply

    Colette,
    This is so powerful. I love the “stay in the solution” advice. I grew up with a very controlling Mom. I can hear her say: “That is not an appropriate feeling.” Also: “You are all screwed up in the head.” Saying no to her was hell. I am now saying no to my brother over issues of the Trust and my inheritance. Within hours of my taking a stand, he disowned me as his sister. My solution is to work with my attorneys in a way to close things down in the best interest of all. I have made a decision to stop paying attention to what he is doing, hold this pure intention and work with, support and trust my attorneys. Thank you for your story, courage and sharing. Love and Blessings!

  • Angali
    Reply

    Namaste Colette,

    After reading your blog yesterday, last night I decided to watch Wind River. I intentionally wanted to observe myself while viewing this movie, knowing to expect a rape scene.

    I firstly want to thank you again, for Oracle School. Post oracle school watching this movie, I would be out the door, huffy and puffy, triggered or at times find myself curled up and grabbing my hair and rocking back and forth like a crazy person. ( Girl with the dragon tattoo, original version.)

    Last night was so profound as I did not expect the part of her “ waking up to what was being done, it was a precise reflection of my experience waking up from a sleep to experience the same.” Yet I was able to continue to watch this scene and the movie all the way to the end!

    I can only explain my experience as feeling “ clean” watching this. There were no bodily reactions nor did I cringe etc… what a profound epiphany to know I have HEALED this! ( at least to a point I am not affected or continue to experience deep wounding.)

    I am truly greateful to be a student and member of Oracle School. In my observation it is because of your #metoo stories ( even before #metoo existed) that you’ve shared over the years in your books, speaking engagements etc that I’ve followed your work and strive to become what you are; a dignified and successful woman!

    Thank you for all your good work, really infinite thank you’s , thanks a million and thanks a bunch!

    I love you more than I can say.
    Thank you for being such an awesome super role model and teacher!

    Xoxo

    • Colette Baron-Reid
      Reply

      this made my day 😉 And yes its amazing to know we are healed and my choice to write this blog is a deep compassion for so many who have not healed. WE are indeed miracles. Clean is a good word. There too is no more dirt to me… just Light. and lots more love xoxox

  • Lala
    Reply

    Hi, Colette,

    I’ve never left a comment anywhere, before, probably out of self-criticism and fear. What do I have to say that others do not already express?

    I’m writing a book about my experiences, and it’s very frightening. I wish people would stop punishing the “victim” for being someone they no longer want to be or with whom they don’t identify. People are not their states or conditions. But those conditions do exist. A victim is someone whose power has been taken away, perhaps only for a while. That’s a state. On this planet people get abused. It would give me strength to go on exposing myself and what’s happened if people would understand that and let it alone.

    No one likes complaining, and a victim can do some damage, too. So no one wants to be a victim or hear from one except for people who do heroic service helping them out. I’m deeply grateful for people who grind out their days working with the survivors of assault and rape: helping them express their feelings of terror and loss, get a car and get out of town, get to safety, keep a job, get help with their children or parents. They are warm and loving when friends are scarce. The stories they have to live with are excruciating sometimes. They understand, don’t criticize, and work very hard, with an understanding beneath it all that we’re all human and can be victimized sometimes–and move on.

    I feel deeply for you and admire your strength so much. Thank you for becoming the fun, powerful, kind, intuitive and present being you are, out of a lot of suffering in the past. May you never experience such horror again in any lifetime.

  • Jennifer Saunders
    Reply

    Hi Colette I’m an Australian and have just finished a Healing course went for 8 days where a lot of the 30 participants have been through similar and have released the emotion around it. It was forensic healing with Marisa Russo. Also Karina Goodwin has just released her book on the trauma she endured and she does milieu intuitive Healing (at flying souls) and gets great results whatever healings she does but she is especially known for her healings on women who have suffered abuse. I am doing Healing courses with her as well.
    Lastly there is the beautiful Melissa HOCKING Hughes at QBI Healing who is also a phenomenal healer and I’ve also read her book. Melbourne Australia is just rocking out amazing healers and empowering women and Healing abuse. You should look them up.
    We are blessed.

  • Suzanne
    Reply

    Thanks so much for the card reading! These really resonate with me, and I love all your decks! I want to get one, but I have not decided which one yet.

    I also want to thank you for sharing your #metoo story. I am not a fan of social media, and I don’t watch regular t.v. so this is the first I’ve heard of the #metoo thing.
    I have my own experiences, and while I have worked hard on healing, I know I still have a way to go. Each of us heals in our own time, as each flower blooms at the perfect moment.

    I also have, perhaps, a different view of many things: for example, I love stories because they are a part of this realm, and while they are not who we are, they are very much a part of our history from the creation stories, to the parables we tell our children to instill lessons of wisdom and morality. To me, each story is like a star. It is a part of creation until it burns itself out. Some shoot across the sky brilliantly, while others fall to earth. Some contradict themselves, like cold water on a burning stove, while others speak of great transformations like a caterpillar to a colorful butterfly. All are a part of this human experience. Such glory, if only for a brief moment in time. So when people share their stories with me, I am transfixed, because it is like watching a star. So, I am not trying to get rid of my story, and it is not who I am, because I have glimpsed that greatness, and it is endless and forever.
    And, I do have this tender heart which still feels the pain of past experiences. I continue to endeavor to heal and to be fully present, just me and the big wide world, in this beautiful present moment.
    I wish with all my heart for the healing of each and every one of us, and the awakening of this planet to all that we truly are.
    -Suzanne

  • Adriana Medina
    Reply

    Gracias Colette! te amo y honro el coincidir contigo y con tu compartir! te admiro y quiero. Gracias!!!!! xoxo love you too!

  • Lynn M AnderAn
    Reply

    I know today is November 10, maybe I’m too late to add my comment in here. I’m glad this whole me too thing has started, people are opening up about things they may have felt for the longest time they just couldn’t talk about, it’s tough to work through shame and guilt, sometimes even though you know you’ve been victimized, you’re also feeling like an idiot, like, why wasn’t I more careful, why didn’t I realize this could happen, I should have been more cautious, WHY did I trust that person, we beat ourselves up even though we know it’s not our fault. I can be harder on myself sometimes more than anybody else. Some of us really just need to learn self-Love instead of low self esteem. That doesn’t mean we become arrogant and think everything is about me, but we honor ourselves and our feelings. Do something nice for yourself, take a luxurious bubble bath, buy yourself that coat you really like that you were always telling yourself you didn’t really need. Some people in this world will never like you, some people find the littlest stupid things to gossip about, and that’s really their problem, not yours!!! I think when we become comfortable just being ourselves, others feel more comfortable around us too. I’m learning to watch my tendency to want to snap at someone sometimes. Thank you so much for everything you do Colette!!! I have a lot of healing to do myself.

  • Cari Norris
    Reply

    Love your post. In my experience, the healing journey around my me too experience has been formative…extremely challenging, but also has helped me know my depth of strength and love. I agree that sharing is key to healing. We need those safe spaces to feel and be seen, heard, and understood. Blessings on you and your work and thank you for all that you share.❤️

  • Bettymay Smith
    Reply

    Hi Colette. I think of you loving your loving husband and I thank God for the soul grace that buoys us up and keeps us flying free. God bless.

  • Brigitte
    Reply

    I am so grateful I am able to live in the now, thank you Colette for everything you give us. Xmas season imposed so early in our material society can be very painful for many, an early reminder of the Xmas it won’t be this year. I think it’s very sad and I pray daily for all these people, may this drumming in of festivities bring joy as a reflection of past happiness rather than pain caused by what will never be again.
    With Love, Serenity & Light xxx

  • Karren
    Reply

    Dear Colette, Thank you for so honestly sharing your feelings and story. I had my own realization – perhaps the wave of so many expressing themselves woke something up in me also. My husband would often talk to me like a sergeant to a corporeal when he didn’t agree with something I was doing. I always thought it was my problem that I couldn’t talk back well enough or strong enough. ( My daughter could always handle him better than I can). After the last disagreement when I expressed my pain in these situations in a non-threatening way, I realized that I can’t be intimate with someone who is hurtful. I can’t fake it anymore. Finally I woke up to my own worth. And things are changing around here for the better. I just wanted to share this with you. Your writings are so moving to me. Thank you.

  • Julie
    Reply

    “One day you may even meet someone who was part of your violation and face them with understanding as I wrote about in my book Uncharted…”

    Thank you for sharing. I look forward to reading your book.

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