When Love Comes Later!

Updated: February 26, 2018

(Finding Love Later in Life)

I am admittedly a late bloomer when it comes to the traditional idea of partnering and Love having met my soulmate when I was 44 (the husband kind). But to be honest I would not have accepted the possibility of that in my earlier years, say my 20s and 30’s.

When I was 20 a 44 year-old woman was, in my eyes (please forgive that young me!) old and en route to drying up. I had no idea I would be at the beginning of the best years of my life (which I am loving even more NOW) at 44, nor did I understand the work I had to do to truly be alive and ready to be a good partner.  

I used my outer life experience as a way to measure my worth which was determined by whether I was partnered or not. You may not identify with this but I had a real drive to meet THE ONE since I was a teenager. The ONE was going to make everything all better! But that was only part of it. Being rescued by a prince was part of the Cinderella fairy tale I bought into but the truth is I had a lot of love to give, I just had a distorted and dysfunctional map of Love to follow.

Without going into the details of my experimentations in the Love department before my 40’s I’m going to stick to the topic of discovering a later love and what that could mean.

No matter how much I said I wanted to have a family and settle down, I attracted lovers who could not offer that to me. In fact, the more unavailable, inappropriate and just plain wrong they were the better. I could never see that at the time, preferring to label myself a victim of my sad despairing romantic failures (I could sing you quite the sob story!).

Deep down I knew I couldn’t have kids which was confirmed in my late 30’s so that normal “let’s meet fall in love and start a family!”  was not to be anyway and the men I was attracted to were hard-wired for betrayal anyway.

I look back on everything I was in denial about, my early long-term relationship, my first marriage in my 30s that ended as soon as it began, the myriad of ways I looked outside of myself for love.

By the time I hit my 40s a different kind of maturity set in. I was clean and sober 15 years and I had achieved some pretty wonderful things in my career. I never stopped pursuing my dreams because I couldn’t “find a man”!  

As you get older, if you are on a path of self-evolution and a commitment to being as spiritually aware as you can you will notice the story you tell yourself about love, and what it means, changes as our vantage point changes too.

How I see things today is very different from the way I saw them back then. I mean I might have been entertaining myself with my running soap opera but it was only when I got sick and tired, of being sick and tired, that I began to see different forms of love that were just as, if not more important, than the romantic kind.

But even without a story fraught with lots of heartache you are going to change as you grow older. Your priorities change and while in your 20s and 30s you might have wanted to start a family as a core value of partnership perhaps in your 40s companionship and a different kind of love becomes the heart of the matter. As does the ability to love your life as it is – even being unpartnered is rich and amazing brimming with Love in a myriad of forms.

When you find love later you come to the table with more experience and perhaps consider the fact that even the disappointments of unmet love plus the stretches of happy singlehood (all that living you did) helped shape you into the person you were destined to become anyway? The truth is that in every phase of our lives Love mirrors our needs and helps us grow. hen we discover the essence of Love that works for us later in life we discover that the experience of it really is like a fine wine that just gets better and smoother, richer and more valuable with age.

 

Anything is possible when you open your connection to the Universe

 

WEEKLY ORACLE CARD GUIDANCE AND LESSON

Showing 38 comments
  • Liselotte Wandscher
    Reply

    Hi Colette, Later love is the best Love in my opinion. I married when I was 19, divorced at 20, married at 30, divorced at 40, married at 42, divorced at 44. So yes, I understand the rollercoaster of love, partnering, losing, etc. Fortunately I do have 3 adult sons (all the same father) and their wonderful wives and children out of this mess.
    I was happily single and not looking, when across my path came a wonderful man (we actually knew each other for 20+ years) We started as friends in 2011 and grew to love each other very much. We are now both 63. We fit.
    I am happier and more contented now than I have ever been, and he is as well. Thank you Universe for sending us each other and for us allowing the love we have to give to each other.

    • Anonymous
      Reply

      Thanks Colette for sharing. I believe I will find love again at 41. I have been by myself for a very looonnng time and I know within myself that I had so much more to develop before entering a new relationship, firstly my first marriage taught me a lot of lessons and what I really wanted in the next relationship. I have waited a long time for that person to come along that we can grow together and respect each differences and have fun with real love for each other. I look forward to a soul relationship in my 40’s that is not as serious or has heavy as my marriage.. maybe I am lighter also.. I look forward to meeting him, very shortly. Love to all.. and let the universe do it’s work. xo

  • Wenona Lee Gardner
    Reply

    I am 44 and still single. I wonder if I will ever find true love. I have had a series of relationships in my past I was severely abused. I am in love with a DJ who is making an album, but I do not know how they feel about me. I feel pressured because I feel like I am running out of time to be able to start a family.

    Wenona Lee Gardner

  • Trish Irvin
    Reply

    I love your readings. Your work is inspired. Thank you for being you.

  • Pamela Cummins
    Reply

    Love is worth the wait as I was 47 when I found “The One.” Seven years later, our relationship is better than ever! We would have blown it if we had met in our 20’s or 30’s. Your video was just what I need to hear, thank you.

  • Paula Sue
    Reply

    Collette I raise a non alcoholic sparkling glass to you for all your written and oral support you have given me in my time of awakening these past 6 months. I have the good tarot, enchanted map as well as your book Uncharted. The well of gratitude goes beyond words. I see you and feel your authenticity in all that you do and I am right there with you on this cosmic enterprise in whatever dimension holds truth. I am becoming my own soulmate, the ride is a wave of love always now and forever. Blessings to you and your abundant beauty and brilliance.

  • Melanee Packard
    Reply

    Yes! I LOVE this blog post! It resonates with me. I was married to an addict for 16 years before I realized that I deserved SO much better than what I had settled for. Almost 3 years later, my life, and the lives of my daunters, is peaceful, happy and filled with joy! That old life feels like it belonged to another family and not to us. I’ve learned to love myself and will never settle again. At 51, I’m still awaiting my one, great love but I’m not ‘looking’ for him. I know that when I’m ready and the time comes, the Universe will bring us together. Thank you for sharing your story! Love and light to you, Colette!

  • Lisa
    Reply

    Great blog and weekly video !!! .. so helpful to have the weekly report !!! .. thank you xox

  • Merilyne
    Reply

    Just what I needed to hear this week. I am waiting for space in a seniors apartment building, and it seems to be taking for ever. So, I guess that a better apartment is waiting for me. Yeah!!!!!

  • Suzanne
    Reply

    I’m happy you found love. I’ll be 57 in April and in a soon be be 19 year loveless marriage. I’ve pretty much given up on love. So I’ll just keep working on my spiritual growth instead.

    • Anonymous
      Reply

      Please reconsider, I was not love for at list halve of my marriage but you have the right to Love your self and Start again. Some where is your lid, give yourself a chance.

    • Mei
      Reply

      Why wait! I was with my ex husband from 18-50 years old.
      We were in love for about 10 years and the rest loveless and lonely. At 54 I meet the love of my life, a much younger man.
      Three years later, I’m still very much in love. I’m 57 and after I left my husband, I thought that I’ll never find the one. Our relationship would not have worked out had we meet when we were younger. We are both older and wiser, appreciating the small sweet things in life.
      When you start loving yourself and feel you deserved to be love the world opens up for you. I had to kiss many, many frogs to finally find the one. You only have one life and this is not a rehearsal. If you don’t mind staying in a loveless relationship, then more power to you. If you are not content why wait. Have faith in yourself and with the universe. Colette cards have served me well. I’m externally grateful and with her cards, it has opened my world internally, self awareness and spiritually.

  • Cinderella
    Reply

    Love this, thank you. It is true. However, there is NOTHING more important than romantic love. Glad to catch that slip.

  • sharon
    Reply

    Thanks Colette i look forward to these messages you are fantastic, it helps greatly!

  • Monica
    Reply

    It’s so true!! At my age I know my self better. I can see clearly what I want and what I don’t want but, also can see the process within my partner. That makes me more compassionate and understand much more things that happen and their purpose. It’ great! My way of giving and receiving love is so much mature and with no restrictions 😃 life is a path for growth, sometimes hard, but Everything is for some reason… as I say, the universe has always something better for us as long as we learn the lesson but we need someone to open that door and brighten it up with knowledge! Thanks for being one of that kind of lightened people, you!! Best wishes and blessings 🤗❤️🎉

  • Laurie Zelinski
    Reply

    Love this and YOU – perfect! Have a wonderful week. Big love.

  • Dee
    Reply

    How timely!

    I have just remarried for the (I won’t say) ‘th time and it is truly the most fulfilling and beautiful relationship I have ever been blessed with which to have been gifted. I just turned 50 on the 12th of February and married my Great Love on October 28 last year.
    The changes both in myself and my views on relationships have changed so very radically over time that I realized it took this long to find my “match” in order for this to be a genuinely viable and successful relationship.
    This and He have definitely been worth the wait and I look forward to the coming years with this beautiful man.

    Cheers!

  • theresa hannah
    Reply

    thank you Colette! I am enjoying all of the tarot ..and I thought I knew enough…they speak to me. your classes are the best..yes I am 🙂

  • Susan
    Reply

    I couldn’t agree more Collette! I never did want children, but was looking for love and partnership. Over time I did notice that I always seemed to fall for unavailable men. Also, since not having a model in my family of the kind of relationship I needed, I was pretty lost in what to look for. I spent much time being single and being happy with it. Several times I did get so hurt and discouraged, I declared myself date free and not looking – once in my 30s and once in my 50s. In my 50s, I decided that I could not actually trust myself in choosing a man – even when I thought they were available they turned out not to be – either emotionally or hiding their marriage. So I thought, well that’s it. I started playing in virtual worlds online at 60 and surprisingly found myself “dating” in there. It was interesting because I could watch the same patterns play out. BUT… somehow the little bit of “distance” of virtual worlds allowed me to watch it. I got stronger in recognizing my pattern, I got stronger in saying no to any disrespect, and in saying “Goodbye, you are not worthy of me”. After a quick go round of all this, my old online friend Wolf turned back up. We had “dated” several years before, but parted. He also had just left a relationship that was not treating him well. Asserting his self esteem. We spent time together and fell in love again. So now we have known each other for 10 years online, talking daily for about 4 hours for the last 7 years. We have talked about everything and worked through many insecurities. We would rather be with each other than anyone else in the world. We have never been bored in all these years talking to each other. Last summer I visited him in England and he proposed, and I accepted. Later this year I will move to England and I will marry (for the first time). I am 70 🙂 What a cool adventure to start at 70. I do want to say that “Uncharted” has had quite an effect on helping further this adventure. Thank you! I also want to add that my neighbor thought she would not remarry when her husband passed away. Several years later she remarried at 83!!! Love has no time limit. Hugs to all of you out there. Self esteem and happiness with yourself, and refusal to accept anyone who does not treat you well is the key. You do not have to turn yourself into a pretzel to have love. Blessings to you all.

    • Anonymous
      Reply

      Oh how inspiring 💕Renee, congratulations, welcome to England💕💕💕✨✨✨💠

    • Emilia
      Reply

      Hugs in return to you too Susan(soon to marry in England for first time). Inspiring story too. Loved reading everyone’s experiences. Me, Myself – in my 60’s – haven’t a clue anymore really yet happy with life.

  • Renee Sugar
    Reply

    When I was in my twenties I found this quotation on a scroll. I bought it.
    ” I must conquer my loneliness alone, I must be happy with myself, or I have nothing to offer. Two halves have little choice but to join and yes they do make a whole. But when two wholes coincide, that is beauty, that is love”. Pretty profound for a twenty something. Presently 61; definitely a late bloomer. I am “really” well practiced at being alone. I ran faster and farther from anyone ever getting to know me; and even faster if they attempted to get physically close. I shut the door, locked it, and barricaded myself behind an attempt to “appear” perfect, and fiercely independent needing no one. Always loved the definition of intimacy; “run away a little closer”. Really have had little dating experience, however I have learned to befriend myself, and really dig deep to understand who I am, and why? So many layers to remove, to reveal the truth. I have always felt, that if I did meet someone, he would need to be very patient, courageous and ready for a challenge because I am not an easy person to get to know. So I think that it is very much an inside job; to develop and nurture our relationship with ourselves first. Hiding will not help, heal, the wounds that were imprinted on our psyches and physiology sometimes from a very early, vulnerable time in our lives. Underneath all the armor and protective patterns that keep us walled in; is a loving, sensitive, soul who knows what matters, and has discovered the key to living simply, honestly, and gracefully with or without a partner.

  • collette
    Reply

    Very profound and exactly what I needed to hear this week.. I always look forward to your readings as they all seem to have some meaning and help for me. I too was “lost” but since following your readings and applying your knowledge to some of my problems the path has become so clear — you are such an inspiration to me each and every time…

  • Anonymous
    Reply

    I love your blog! I was married to the father of my boys for 25 (on paper) years. I married at 19 and lived a life full of substance abuse. Thank God he walked or I would have been dead. I had been sober for 8 years when I met husband #2. A good man with a very different way of thinking that I could not live with. Now approaching my 60th year next month and 14 years sober, I believe I have found the one. He makes me want to be better, to really look within. Ten years younger though we have a lot of fun. He is talking marriage and I have taken a page from your book and asked him to take the stand of if we do marry divorce is not an option. We will see where this leads.

  • Linda
    Reply

    I love your blog! I was married to the father of my boys for 25 (on paper) years. I married at 19 and lived a life full of substance abuse. Thank God he walked or I would have been dead. I had been sober for 8 years when I met husband #2. A good man with a very different way of thinking that I could not live with. Now approaching my 60th year next month and 14 years sober, I believe I have found the one. He makes me want to be better, to really look within. Ten years younger though we have a lot of fun. He is talking marriage and I have taken a page from your book and asked him to take the stand of if we do marry divorce is not an option. We will see where this leads.

    • Anonymous
      Reply

      Love this♥️

  • Lisa Engel-Franklin
    Reply

    After reading your blog on LOVE – Later in Life……I had to reflect on my own situation….married at 21…..married for 22 yrs …..divorced for 23 yrs….I have never known real true love……but I know there is HOPE…..I have been single for longer than I wanted but I have learned the true meaning of HOPE that GOD & the ANGELS have shown me…..so I know that ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE…..even LOVE – Later in Life….
    I’m turning 65 in May….and I’m HOPING that LOVE will come to me Later in Life……

  • Destiny
    Reply

    I love this!!! Thank you for sharing and the inspiration!! I am 42, was married in my early 20’s (my ex husband and I..and his new wife our great friends) so it all worked out, but definitely shaped me as a person. My 30’s were filled with trials and tribulations, opportunities for growth, and a tragic loss. Now in my early 40’s I am embarking on so many new things, new career and feel aligning with the core of myself. I have echoed what you just said in that, I see I have so much to bring to the table in a new light of love, experiences and my heart stretched to such a capacity to not only love but hold compassion for so much more. I feel ready to experience that great love again in a partnership since I have have spent the time and risen to meet my own self in love! xoxo

  • Karen
    Reply

    It is very interesting to see how other women feel around this topic. I just did an exercise about money. It required writing a letter to money as if it were a person. What came up for me was that my treatment of money was very non-committal, like my treatment of men. I didn’t really want to commit because I was arrogant and young and assumed there would be another attractive guy on the horizon. Anyway, I think when you want a relationship with a man or with money or with anything really, you’ve got to be ready to

  • Anonymous
    Reply

    I was unhappily married for 15 years, then single for 22 years, and dating all the “wrong for me” men! Finally, I jumped off the hurtful merry-go-round. When I was 54, a man I had known for years, called and asked me to a movie♥️ That was 11 years ago, and we’ve been married for 5 years now.

    It’s a different kind of love; thoughtful, respectful, considerate, flowing. We’re both very grateful🙏🤩♥️

  • Renee Sugar
    Reply

    Saw this in a storefront window today.
    “Leave room in your heart for the unimaginable. “

  • Anonymous
    Reply

    A wonderful text, Colette: I can perfectly relate to your story. It’s that mere conditioning that makes women believe they have to accomplish this and that by a certain age. It doesn’t work that way anymore, right? Our life is waaaaay richer than the expectations others project upon us (and as a medium, you know it better than anybody). Thanks for your work, I adore your videos and forecasts, as well as readings and interviews.

  • Keith
    Reply

    Thank you Colette, I need this, today is my grams anniversary, I thought by know i would have all of life set, even know that I’m 34. I thought i would have the wife and kids and be in my house, (but not yet lol). I just need to trust in sprite and know that the higher person know what is best and one day i will be able to see gram again, and say hi too her and all of the love one that protect me and the family. thanks again and have a great week.

  • Kamilla
    Reply

    …😊❤️❤️Thank you so much dear Collette… it was a great pleasure to read this… I haven’t been lucky in love… The only love , that’s pure and never ending, it’s love to my son’s… The youngest son died for 7 years ago… but my love to him will never die ❤️❤️…

  • Diana Boles
    Reply

    Hello to all of my Aquaintences here. I have been gone for a bit of time. I’m in a place of Karmic Care Giving. The miles of this stretch of highway are leading me to new thoughts of opening myself to the possibility of a future that includes Love.
    I am about to turn 69.
    I was married in 1984 and divorced in 2008. 25 years of commitment that didn’t go so well. Now, the hardest part of the divorce was to readjust my thinking about the vow I made. I never accomplished it. So, i lived in the shadow of the failed relationship. No longer married but not understanding how to stop being a spouse. It seems that the truth is – that story wasn’t finished. It isn’t because we have found each other anew. The truth lies more in “the need” of healing the wound. Just over a year ago, my X was diagnosed with terminal cancer.
    So this is where the story picks up again. He was in need of help as all the romantic interests he had in our 10 yrs apart had long parted ways with him.
    My Karmic destiny lies in giving the help he needs. The closure of my old wounds lies in being available for doctor and hospital needs The time away from him taught me how to stick up for myself and battle the dragon instead of allowing him to crush my spirit. This ability of mine came as a surprise to me and I’m sure it was an even greater shock to him.
    I’m an astrologer and MY SATURN and my house placement confirmed all that is going on now and the possibilities of the future. It’s hard to be objective when looking at your own chart, so I had someone else do it for me. Someone who had never met me.
    I am renewed. I am aware that, even if my X survives (very, very doubtful) I have battled my way through the blockage. There is now an opening at the mouth of my cave.
    I’ve missed coming to visit you all here. Things are still very time consuming so it may be a while before I can be around more often. Blessings to all of you. Colette, rubber side down.

    • Colette Baron-Reid
      Reply

      you have been missed here Diana.. I send you so many blessings. (ON 3 wheels here now, releasing the bikes this year to ensure rubber side will always be down lol) Hang in there you are doing sacred work honey.

      • Toady
        Reply

        I am in the near exact situation. Libra here.

  • Shirley E
    Reply

    Like you I thought love was everything (I came from a broken family) and so married in my early 20’s which only lasted for three years. In my mid 30’s I met up with an old boyfriend who had three children. But I headed off to Australia to do a Montessori Pre School Diploma for 11 months. When I got back I went and lived with this man and had a baby at 41 years but the relationship only lasted eight years after that. Being a Stepmum to teenagers had it’s challenges. I returned to my home city and while things are hard some times – I miss my girl and grandchildren who live on the opposite side of the island I live on we are in contact and skype is good.
    Shirley xx000

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