Stressed About Your Future? Let Go of Certainty and Control!

Updated: November 11, 2018

Like everyone these days I can fall prey to the stress goblins. I typically am pretty chill but during the recent US elections (since I was just in the states) I really got infected by the fear and anxiety about ‘WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN?” Oh I know, I’m supposed to have the conscious Universe on speed dial but I fall asleep at the wheel in stressful moments too. Yep, I teach what I need to be reminded of.

How do you react when you’re in the midst of uncertainty and not knowing what’s going to happen next? Do you try to plan, scheme, strategize, and control, all the while driving yourself crazy? Or, do you do what you need to do and then let go the results and cultivate faith in the Divine, faith in the uncharted map yet to be discovered?

Remember the saying, “Man plans and God laughs”? Uncertainty is the only certainty there is in life. Most of us, however, have to work at cultivating not knowing. Our Goblins—the wounded egos we all have—long for control and certainty. So much of our world is built on a strident need for certainty. Yet, certainty is actually just an illusion. When you think about it, is there ever a time when you know for sure how things will unfold? Even with your best efforts, you can’t control everything in the Universe. Jobs change based on economic and industry shifts. Relationships transform as people grow and change. Our very world is in a constant state of movement from moment to moment. We are in essence stories in motion.

The future is pure potential but influenced by our current state of being, thinking, and behavior. If we are trying to predict the future, it’s really a moving target and we’re looking at energetic future potentials not absolutes.  As I’ve often explained when I talk about predictions, the future is a mutable place that isn’t written in stone. Likewise, there are some things that we just aren’t meant to know. It’s one of the reasons I prefer to do prescriptive readings on my weekly Oracle Card guidance and lesson rather than predictive. I think it’s more empowering to learn to be and stay awake to co-create a future than predict one.

Ultimately, not knowing is part of life, which is yours to live and create in the now, moment by moment. When you get caught up in needing to be certain and to know, you become disconnected from the world around you, losing all of your power to create in the now. It is in not knowing, where you’re connected to your intuition and the Divine, that you’re most powerful. When you surrender the need to know and dictate what you want, you open yourself to Spirit’s messages and are able to intuit the next right actions for your highest good. As the Chess Queen from my Wisdom of the Hidden Realms Oracle Deck says, “You cannot know the power and beauty that is meant for you until you let go and ask for Divine guidance.”When you hand Spirit the wheel of control, you allow your path to unfold as it should.”

I’m a recovered control freak. See, I admit it! For years, I tried to map out my life and wanted things to work out just so. When I found myself in the midst of uncertainty, my reaction was to just try to plan and control more. Then I’d get stressed when my extra effort to control things that didn’t work. So, I’d take out some divination cards and ask for guidance. The cards usually told me to let go. “Why isn’t Spirit giving me an answer?” I’d think with irritation and shuffle the cards again. (which incidentally is what I teach everyone NOT to do!). Then, I’d get the same cards again or a more confusing message. Looking back, it’s all very comical how my Goblin would emerge and throw a tantrum in the midst of uncertainty. This was years ago when I first became interested in divination and doing readings. But, every once in awhile the control freak emerges from within and I meditate on the power of not knowing.

Remember: Control and certainty are illusions. Living in the now is where all of your power is. When you find comfort in not knowing, you open yourself to amazing miracles from Spirit.

Here is a great Exercise to explore this:

Write a letter to Spirit: Where in your life are you longing for certainty? Your job, relationships, finances? What are you attached to? Write a letter in which you hand over your longings to Spirit and ask for clear messages to help you chart your path in the now.

You may want to write this letter in your journal, put it in a God Box, or even create a ritual in which you release the letter to Spirit by burying or burning it. It feels really freeing when you put this down on paper and out of your head.

Just remember you won’t always be awake and on point. The trick is to get back on track sooner than later by identifying who you’re listening to in your head. If you are stressed out, you’re tuned into your goblin (negative conditioning) and not listening to your soul. It’s busy listening to Soul Fm radio freedom.  Time to turn the dial!

Anything is possible when you open your connection to the Universe



Showing 39 comments
  • Ann

    Hi Colette,
    Thank you for this article!
    You mentioned that the future is pure potential. I was wondering if you believe that certain events in life are pre-planned and unavoidable or destined to happen?
    Best wishes,

    • Colette Baron-Reid

      this and that are true.. but even when fate throws us something not of our making the potential lies in our response.

      • Anonymous

        Thank you so much for explaining, Colette. 🙂 Kind regards

      • Ann

        Thank you so much for explaining, Colette. I understand better now. Kind regards

      • Anonymous

        Colette! Come to Toronto, ON! 🙂

  • Kate

    Colette, your reading for this week was spot on. Leading off with the Wombat, you made a comment that was profound for me and where I am in my journey. You said the Wombat calls us home to where it feels familiar, but not familiar because of our past — familiar because of our truth. Of most decisions in my life that I look back on with some regret or wishing I’d done differently, they were all based in what felt familiar to what I’d grown up with, which wasn’t always a healthy thing. I am aware of that now. I’m also becoming more aware of the beautiful truth living within me. I meet it as often as possible, and want to keep meeting it more and more. Thanks for such a beautiful reading. I love the Spirit Animal cards!

    • Colette Baron-Reid

      thank you Kate!!

    • Desert Gypsy

      Yes Kate! My biggest mistakes in life were trying to be at home in familiar family energy that never suited me even back then. We repeat until we learn and what a slow learner I have been until diving in deep within using Colette’s teachings and oracle cards. Thank you!

  • Maria João Figueiredo

    Gostei muito do que li. Obrigada pela sabedoria que partilha. Vou seguir o Conselho e espero não mais esquecer. Maria

  • Twyla Harris

    Hi Collette,

    I just lost a very stressful and problematic job. I feel lost even though the job wasn’t meant for me. I had been there so long, but changes there had been telling me it was time to go. I have asked for guidance, but I must not be reading the answers correctly. What deck is clear and easy to understand for a novice?

    Thank you,

    • Colette Baron-Reid

      I would work with Wisdom of the Oracle or Wisdom of Avalon – also Spirit Animal is good too

  • Terri Law

    Thank you, needed this reassurance and guide. Terri

  • Anonymous

    I love this reading Colette.Thanks so much.

  • Donna

    I love this reading Colette.Thanks so much.

  • Donna

    I love this reading Colette. Thanks so much.

  • Sandi Fleck

    Dearest Colette,
    This weeks prescriptive reading brought much clarity to me. I was one of the thousands, displaced by the Camp Fire in Butte County California. Our little town of Paradise is in ashes now. I am grateful for the work Spirit has done with me on the road of happy destiny. This is indeed a new beginning for me and my fellow citizens of Paradise. Warmest regards, Sandi.

    • Colette Baron-Reid

      I am so so sorry for your loss I cannot imagine how all of you have suffered and I am amazed and honored that you shared here and that you are a power of example of staying close to the Divine in spite of horrible conditions.. hang in there

  • Desiree Gerretzen

    Thank you Colette, just what I needed to read / hear ‘cultivating not knowing’ right now. I am a student your magical Oracle school and my anchor card for today was Round and Round in protection mode. I really am so grateful for being a student at your school and have these wonderful teachings about the cards being amazed by the magic, thanks again Colette

  • Soshinie Singh

    This is so amazing and exciting! The Second card: The Grasshopper Spirit, I got that earlier this morning as my second card too when I used your free App on your website! So so exciting and looking forward to what awaits!

  • thais

    Hi, Colette. Thank you so much for the article.
    Even though I thought I wasn’t a control freak, today, when I pulled a card from The Enchanted Map Oracle Cars, I got The Wizzard of Awarness. I didn’t even pulled the other two cards for I guess the message is pretty clear, isn’t it?

  • Elizabeth

    Dear Colette,

    Today’s blog message truly resonates with me. These last two years have been ones of profound change and enlightenment. I have felt much more connected to Spirit, grounded, and gained back some self empowerment that has been lacking in my life. The last year, however, has been filled with devastating losses that I have yet to recover from. The veils of illusion have been lifting to reveal a saddening reality that I must make peace with in order move forward to allow happiness to flow into my life. Do you have any thoughts for me?

    Also, I have been working with oracle cards for a couple of years now, but only have your lovely Spirit Animal Oracle Cards. I have a special connection to animals, and my beloved pets who have transitioned have been sending me loving messages of encouragement. Which of your other decks would you recommend I work with?

    With blessings and many thanks,


  • Anonymous

    Dear Colette, your messages always hit the mark for me. I’ve been erratic lately, trying to control over a stressful period therefore driving myself and the others crazy. I completely forgot about WOTO guidance and the Universal laws. So this post literally shook me. Thank you!

  • Ruxandra Cristina Popescu

    Dear Colette, your messages always hit the mark for me. I’ve been erratic lately, trying to control over a stressful period therefore driving myself and the others crazy. I completely forgot about WOTO guidance and the Universal laws. So this post literally shook me. Thank you!


    Thank you, I cant even put into words just how much you have helped me today!!!! Blessings to you from my soul.

  • Andreae

    Bless you Colette. On picking my cards Elephant/Stag and Cat how beautifully they combined in with your reading of being at home within myself, moving forward and trusting the mystery. I have learnt from my past and am me for that and am taking the lead (post CYL activations) and claiming my independence. Am loving these beautiful cards. Thank you, thank you, thank you and hope your vertigo has gone xox 🙏🦋

  • Anonymous

    It is a good idea to write a letter to pirit.

  • Olfa Diaz

    Hi Colette, It is a good idea to write a letter to spirit. I will give it a try.

  • Bev

    What a Wonderful read!Thank you Collette💗💗

  • Ashleigh

    I’ve been such a huge follower of yours when it comes to your decks. I just simply engage so beautifully with your energy, it comes through the decks you created and truly is uplifting. Wisdom of the Oracle is my go-to deck! When I do readings for myself or family and friends, they’ll be like…”Oh, here she comes again with her little red box!” Yep, you’re right! Here I come with my little red box filled with wisdom and powerful energy.
    My 10-year-old girl has been connected to animals since the age of two years old of which we noticed. Ever since, she’s been among animals and bugs…big and small. The last year she’s been developing her animal communication intuition. She ordered your Spirit Animal deck with her own money…of which she feels so proud of. I’ve of course ordered your Mystical Shaman deck. I feel extremely drawn to it as I’ve had the privilege of receiving healing from a Huin Kuin Shaman from Brazil. We’ve done Ayahuasca and San Pedro under his supervision. WOW…what an experience and awakening process it’s been!

    I just love ALL your decks…the energy is just perfect. So Thank You so much for your service to us all.

    Love Light & Peace to you and your family Colette.
    – Ashleigh B.

  • Brenda Mary

    Oh boy this is unbelievable
    Thank you for this blog
    It’s the very thing I need to hear right now
    At the moment of not being able to get out of my own way.
    I’m my goblin
    I am very behind in my PM
    I dove in last year and absorbed it like a sponge.
    I believe that I’m stressed and tired from being behind (now my stress in life issues has subsided)
    This is one blog I needed to read
    Thank you Colette
    God bless!
    PS I think my cards are getting to know me now
    As I’ve spent all year getting to know them. 💜

  • Sae

    Thank you!! This answered. And one of the card for this week showed me “ Turtule Spirit”, for me, now is the first time with conscious to practice to bring next foot forward. When doing this, my goblins will be identified will be able to observing to pass behind before my next foot step forward. Thank you!!!

  • Cheryl

    Goblins emerging and throwing a tantrum in the midst of uncertainty! This is gold! Thank you! 💕🙏🏻

  • Judith

    Thanks Collette! I am just stepping into being a recovering control freak LOL! It’s fascinating where we get the stories, behaviors and conditioning from – a mix of society, the media and of course family. Love the wisdom you share.

  • Donna

    Hi Colette, I’m loving the Spirit Animals cards. They’re so beautiful. I was given a lovely combination of messages from Wombat, Nightingale and Rhino that fitted in perfectly with your cards. It’s changed my perspective and I like this one much better. Thank you,

  • Cindy

    Holy Jumping Sparkling Cows, Colette! That was a super powerful exercise!!! I have been feeling like I have had one foot nailed to the floor for the last three years, and couldn’t figure out what was perpetuating the pattern. A whole bunch of dreams came true, but the Big one has been elusive.

    Writing that letter made me realize that I need to make a choice every day to make some effort towards creating it, and I have been trying to duck the commitment. The why was driving me crazy. And it was so super simple. I haven’t tried because I am not certain that I will get the result I want. What is certain is that if I keep doing what I have been doing, I will keep getting what I have been getting. So what do I have to lose by trying, even if I don’t know with absolute certainty what will happen?

    You rock. Again.

  • Renee Sugar

    ” If you are brave enough to say goodbye; Life will reward
    you with a new hello” Paulo Coelho
    Hi Colette;
    I was reminded of some wise words from my years in Al-Anon.
    Just for TODAY I will go at my own speed. I will do whatever is
    in front of me without haste or tension. I will not try to regulate
    anyone but myself. In a world of increasing speed, efficiency,
    self-centricity, and diminishing humanity; lest we forget that
    that so many unexpected turns of events can and will happen.
    My life is full of them. If we choose to see these as an opportunity
    to develop our souls in ways that never might be possible had a door
    not closed, or an ending suddenly occurred. Loss, is painful and confusing but nonetheless it can be the fuel that becomes the catalyst
    for new growth. I try to ask, knock and then see what happens
    not attached to any specific outcome. There is a wisdom that knows
    far better than I do. When the answer is NO, disappointment follows
    but then another hello is born. It is sometimes easy to facilitate the
    details, and visualize the outcome but somehow it doesn’t allow room, the element of surprise. When I place my feet on the floor in the morning I am thankful and mindful that I have been granted another day but must stay open and flexible about what/who might be sent in my direction. Yes there is a plan, and when I think I know everything I am usually shown otherwise. I will still dream, hope, imagine, and visualize but the OUTCOME isn’t my concern, just my focus on the PRESENT moment is what I need to be mindful of.
    Lots of Love

  • Brian

    Interesting as I have been a control freak my whole life up until a year ago. I fall off the wagon every now and then but I am finding for the most part I do not sweat the small stuff and roll with the punches.

    Now I find myself, with my furbabies, a week from being homeless. What can I do… I have tried to find work, I have tried everything. I have no family that can help as I am gay and they still hate me. Mind you I am 46yo and came out when I was 14yo, and have been on my own since then.

    I finally said fine, if we are to become homeless than that is what the Universe wants. I have promised my Boys that what happens to one of us, happens to all of us. As I will not live on the streets, I am preparing to end our lives.

    If the Divine, Universe, Spirit, whatever wants my trust and full faith they have it. But my “control” monkey that likes to plan is planning away.

  • Leslie

    I’ve learned not to stress about anything. I’ve learned to enjoy the moment, and I live for the opportunities and possibilities each day brings! I sent Jill a message via email just a bit ago. Please ask her about it! 🙂

  • Nakia Brandon

    I have found that finding the things that enlighten your soul isn’t as easy as people think. It’s not about saying positive things and hoping for the best, its truly believing them. It’s 5:15 am here and I can’t stop thinking of my next steps in life.

    I have left my materialistic values behind. Phase 1. My relationship blew up because it was all about money which I didn’t really care for anyways, but Spirit blows up anything that isn’t true.

    I have sold my clothes, in trade for a new one. Left old friendships behind. Considered moving. Kind of tired of living this mundane lifestyle.

    I traded in my college degree for my computer and tarot deck. Traded in my car for freedom and peace. Traded in my soul for happiness. To be honest I don’t know if I’m doing it right, but I’m still trying.

    I have let go of being a workhorse for everyone at 22 years of age. My tutoring business blew up, college, my relationships and though I feel more at peace, it feels lonely being on this divine path and twin flame journey along.

    So I’ve been writing. Becoming best friends with my computer. I love sitting at home, strategizing, playing in my tarot cards, filming motivational videos and posting them on YouTube, going to the park for hours, listening to water sounds, DAYDREAMING of travel, going to free writing workshops at the library, analyzing social media feeds, helping my neighbor and her daughter, but it’s all going so slow.

    Sometimes I get sad thinking of the things I had to leave behind on this journey. It’s not for the faint of heart. I have sacrificed EVERYTHING for my soul again and now I’m trying to remember what that feels like without having to do things for other people.

    I’ve been documenting my experience for 3 years on camera. Wanting to share it with the world. Knowing it’s a CALLING. But I don’t know how money will be accumulated because of it. I’ve sacrificed everything, packed my suitcase, written thank you notes in secret for my departure, written in my journal strategic ways to pay my debt, danced to love songs in a living room that isn’t mine…preparing myself for something new. Feeling that it’s coming.

    I’ve been praying to find a career that allows me to feel free, work from home on my computer which is my best friend, allow me to create and inspire, something with social/digital media, something that allows me to travel and help people while doing so, something thats true to who I am, but there’s nothing here where I am.

    Feeling sad this morning. Knowing that it will come, but not knowing when. Sacrificing it all for a dream, three credit cards, and $2 to my name.

    Maybe I’ll videotape how I feel right now and SAVE it for the world because I know one day soon, I will be sharing this for healing.

    Discoveringnik is who I am. Serendipity is where I’m going. I made a video underneath my YouTube channel “NakiA Brandon” a few years ago with my laptop and a $100 camera from Amazon that helped 4000 other people.

    I’m ready for a new life. Done with the one I’ve been living. Just done.So today, I’ll remind myself of who I am. Videotape my experience until I find my computer again, dance in a living room that’s not mine, wash clothes and do dishes, read a book, and pray.

    Thank you for your soul and Oracle cards. You are very healing, Cancer.

    With Love,


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