Manifest a New Future by Revisiting the Stories of the Past - Colette Baron-Reid | Oracle Queen | Founder of Oracle School

Manifest a New Future by Revisiting the Stories of the Past

This week’s reading brought two goddesses together that inspired me to talk about how the stories of the past inform what we manifest in the future. I was going to wait a bit but when the Greek goddess of memory and the past and the Norse goddess of the future showed up in the reading side by side, they revealed to me that perhaps the time to share is now.

I took a DNA test that rocked my world. Forgive me in advance for not giving you the full details just yet as I have some more digging to do and intimate conversations to have with family first. Suffice to say that my results were not what I expected and has led me to question so much. I’m still digesting and integrating the information. But here is the gist of it.

The core elements of the story that defined my mother’s life, her deepest fears, traumas, guilt and identity and consequently what has defined my identity and the story I’ve come to believe, tell, and act from is something very different than what she believed and I was told. I know that sentence is a mouthful. But if what I have discovered is the real truth than much of the story that has defined me is not a true story.

Have you ever considered or even questioned your history? I am doing that right now and it’s astounding to consider that many of our choices may be based on false information.

My personal story and the one I inherited from my mom had so much power over me. I’m joining a multitude of others invited to reconsider what our old stories actually mean and what happens when that is shattered.

I took the test and did a lot more research to deny it but that fell flat. It is what it is. Now, I’m waiting to take another one from another company since this has fascinated me now and filled in a lot of holes in the stories I was told and also filled in a lot of blanks in the genealogy research I did 11 years ago, armed with only names, places and a birth certificate from 1927 before this technology was available to us.

I know the facts, but the story–not the facts–well, that is the thing that has held so much power and sway over me and my self-identity. And now, I’m considering the ramifications. It’s revelatory and liberating as well as releasing some profound grief. My mom died in 1993 so I can’t talk to her. (But wait you’re a medium you should be able to talk to her?  Nope- mediumship doesn’t work that way – no hotline to heaven in my house)

They tell you that taking a DNA test may shock you as you may discover things about yourself you didn’t know, or things about yourself that you believed were true but aren’t. My friend Dani Shapiro recently wrote a book about it and there are countless articles and conversations being had by many of some of the shocking revelations that are possible. People may tell stories they believe are true but DNA gives evidence of what is really true or certainly points to what may not be. Or, is the story told more powerful than the data?

Many of my friends have discovered they were different ethnic identities than they’ve believed about themselves their entire lives. One of my friends from South America had no reason to expect anything other than her Spanish and Indian background but her test showed she was Italian and German with 0% of her expected ethnicity, and that her Grandfather had an entire other family he forgot to mention. Another friend found out her real grandfather was actually his best friend, and a few others discovered they were much more exotic than they knew before. One friend found out she was adopted. A lot to digest for anyone given that we rarely sit down and ask ourselves whether our identities are true or not.

But the power of the story – that’s what this is about. How we tell our stories, how we’re affected by the stories our parents tell us, how we define ourselves by those narratives – now that is more powerful than we can fathom. It’s why brainwashing and social conditioning is a real thing, and why we need to understand who wrote the histories we believe are factual and why, and recognize and claim the power to create new ones that can really serve the transformation we so desperately need as a society.

But it starts with each one of us. I’m going to continue writing about this in the next while since I’m still unpacking the details but I’d invite you to sit down with yourself and ask why you know certain things about your family, why you define yourself the way you do and ask yourself this timeless question. Who could you be if you were not who you thought you were? I know my mom spent her entire life believing something about her parents that was not true at all. Yet it defined her entire way of being in the world. And, it then came to define much of mine.

I never questioned this detail before, and now that I do, I see the power of storytelling with such clarity now. Our stories will limit or expand our potentials in the future. They are the seeds of what will continue to grow in our Field of Dreams, in our manifest world. We are the living products of our stories and those stories may be true, or they still may be true even if they are not.

Something to think about.

I’m sad for my mom who carried a burden her whole life that wasn’t hers to carry, but she did anyway and it was as real for her as if it were true, then passed to me. Yet, what I know and believe to be true, not because I’ve been told by someone, but because of personal experience is that a story can be rewritten. From something challenging and painful laden with the expectation of more of the same into something liberating and joyful, creating something new – this is my task now and frankly, I am excited and curious to see what happens.

Love to hear from you if you’ve ever learned about something that had influenced you that gave you a certain identity but later found out it wasn’t true? What is your truth, based on your past and is it really real?

WEEKLY ORACLE CARD GUIDANCE AND LESSON

Showing 40 comments
  • Susan Hoffmann
    Reply

    Thank you for this, Colette!! I have been a fan of Danni Shapiro and devoured her recent memoir. I was part of a National Geographic mitochondrial DNA study in the early 2000’s, along with my daughter whom I adopted from China. Our results not only showed us DNA but traced our beginnings geographically. Without knowing anything about her, they placed my daughter’s ancient origins in Southern China. They placed mine in the middle east and revealed that I am Jewish. I was brought up Mormon, descendants of the pioneers who settled Utah, but never felt connected to that culture and the stories that defined me. I am writing a book called Redefining the Sacred to guide women out of religious culture and into a deeper understanding of self.

    • Colette Baron-Reid
      Reply

      that sounds absolutely fascinating let me know when I can buy it!!

      • Nicole
        Reply

        Both my Mom and my Mother-in-Law had the stories of their lives rearranged after they received the rests of the DNA tests we gave them as presents. My Mom discovered that the family rumors about her father not being her biological father were probably true, and this was at a time after she’d finally found a sense of peace about her relationship with her “dad.” And my MIL had been told her whole life she was Cherokee but turns out she’s black and white mixed, with no native heritage at all. She’s in her 80’s and her “native” heritage is what helped her deal with prejudice from both white and black people and it was something she was immensely proud of… She really only wanted the test to discover her specific tribe… so her results were pretty devastating to her.

        Me, on the other hand, was able to find two half siblings who also understood the weird feeling of being the result of rape and that was kind of good for me. Regular folks don’t normally understand why you don’t want to know more about your bio-father if given the opportunity, but they understand exactly where I’m coming from.

    • Anonymous
      Reply

      Thank you so much for sharing this. My family and I also had DNA results that surprised us, and sparked a lot of research and digging up of old photographs. Based on my physical appearance, the family story, and the story that seemed to be imposed on me by others, and the story I lived, I was probably mostly Swedish, or something along those lines. I believed that (because it was what everyone said, and what the mirror seemed to say), and at the same time, I never resonated with it. My DNA results revealed that I am roughly 30% Irish, 28% “Other British Isles” (we know about great grandparents from Scotland, and Wales, so this makes some sense), 25% “Europe/Continent”, 15% “Sweden/Scandinavia” and 2% “Trace Regions”. I was curious about the “Trace Regions.” Apparently, this is used to denote other genetic information that is either so far away or so mixed that it is difficult to say with confidence exactly what it is. My parents were intrigued, and both took DNA tests. My father’s genome was similar to mine, just without the “Trace Regions”. My mother’s genome revealed that 6-8 generations ago, she had ancestors from Spain, Sardinia, India and West Africa. 6-8 generations is a strange distance– That is four to six “great”s. It is close enough to fathom and trace, and just distant enough that it is not obvious, and can actually become a totally buried family story. I found myself wondering at what point along those 6-8 generations, the descendants of that most recent ancestor from West Africa could begin “passing,” and for how long that line in my family had been affected by slavery and Jim Crow, until they started to look ‘white’ enough to cross the racial line and avoid discrimination. Although my appearance hasn’t changed, in my own private world, this was a profound and beautiful revelation. Some dreams I’d had years earlier made sense– dreams of ancestresses who did not match the family story of our ethnic origins. I am also convinced of the power of story– both personal and collective stories.

  • WES
    Reply

    Wow, I am just amazed. I too had DNA testing done on myself and my sons. Things i had wondered about were then made very clear after all the testing. That all has lead to discussions with my sons. One of which we had late last night about my past and things that i felt my youngest should know and of course things he was curious about. We had a very deep conversation and i unveiled some of my deepest secrets because i felt he was old enough to know and understand things now. I tried to be as honest and open in response to his questions as i could be. So seeing the cards that you had come up for this week, well that just confirmed it was time for these conversations to be had. Now i just hope that i said things, expressed myself clearly enough that he can digest and understand things more clearly. There is still much to be discussed I am sure but the door has been opened and now let’s see where things go.

  • debi
    Reply

    Oh my goodness! LOVED reading this! My daughter accidentally found my Dad whom I have not heard from in 61 years (he left when I was 3 and I was told he kidnapped us to Hawaii before Hawaii became a state) and after many searches looking for him, assumed he had passed. What is so crazy is that you did a reading for me last year and brought him through with such detail (including the kidnapping, but you said he didn’t see it as kidnapping) that I had validated by my mom… only a year later to discover he was still alive, and had been living in the same town as me, AND… I have 2 siblings I didn’t know I had that went to my high school… with my niece! My hubby thinks that maybe you brought his brother through whom he was really close with. (can you bring through the living?) You told me things that did not make sense to me at all…. until… I contacted him… found out he lives 40 min. from me… went to visit him to find out that what you told me was true! (how’d you do that??? *Ü*) Long story short, I reconnected him with my mom and they both came over for Christmas and are getting to know each other again. I’m learning that the stories my mom told me had been rewritten in her mind through the years, and that the *bad guy* that was my dad, is actually a good guy. It’ll be one year since *finding dad* on June 10th and my life has changed so much, thanks to the DNA testing my daughter did. Thanks so much for sharing your story. LOVE you!!!

    • Colette Baron-Reid
      Reply

      o wow yes it is more than possible because what I bring through is information!! Yes its very possible that someone else on the other side was telling me the story to tell you. I LOVE when this happens !!! Especially when its such detail that you can’t know til you find out later…

  • Brittany
    Reply

    I loved learning my DNA test results–I had no idea that I was a quarter German! Your post reminded me of Narrative Therapy and authoring our lives through the stories we tell ourselves. I’m going to re-read some books I have on the topic. Thanks!

  • Barbara Parcells
    Reply

    I just got my DNA results back as well and it was also not what I expected but it was what I suspected “might” be true. I spent 20 years believing that my mother, who was adopted, was one of those Native American children of mixed blood who were taken by the church away from their families and adopted out to families whose ethnicity allowed a dark-haired, dark-eyed child to fit in. Turns out between both my parents I am 95% Italian with a few percents of other countries like France and Sardinia thrown in. Still, I do not regret the 20 years I studied and learned about life from the Native teachers I met. They have shaped the way i see and experience the world for the better.

  • Kim Savage
    Reply

    I COMPLETELY resonate with every word you wrote in your blog, Colette!! All of my stories growing up (from my mother’s side particularly) Just. Aren’t. True.! Yet, I identified completely with them… until my DNA test. WOW!!! What an eye-opening experience, and one that left me a bit “un-moored”, to put it mildly. It’s been an interesting — yet still exciting — experience to uncover the physical aspects of my existence, which I am now (slowly) integrating into my spiritual existence, writing my “new story” on a day to day basis.

    Your influence has helped me greatly, just so you know… 🙂 I so appreciate your words of wisdom and clarity every day! Thank you so much for being YOU!!

    Peace and love,
    -Kim

  • Pompe Strater-Vidal
    Reply

    We all have family skeletons in our closets. I’m happy that you’re finding new clarity about yours Collette! And I agree with your insights. Letting go our the past is necessary to move forward. Awareness is a double edged sword (as you know so well). The dark shadows define light.
    Blessings on your journey:)

  • Anonymous
    Reply

    Hi Collette, I find this subject so fascinating! I was orphaned at an early age (4years old) and only knew my Mum as we were not closely connected to immediate family as my Mum had a similar experience with her Mum although she didn’t die but was raised by someone else. It may have even happened to my maternal grandmother. How would this work with no knowledge of history. Could you recommend any books to read. 💕Anne-Marie UK

  • Karen Vonkeman
    Reply

    So GRATEFUL that you are spreading the message about the power that stories have in our lives and that we have the power to change those stories. My belief in our power to redefine stories is so strong that it is a cornerstone of my life coaching practice. It is incredibly satisfying to help others shift beliefs, define their authenticity and live their great story. Soul purpose defining work, it is! 🙂 I love you, Colette, for being vulnerable, courageous and authentic….and helping others to do the same. Ps. I have a strong affinity to your card decks – especially Wisdom of the Oracle – I use them personally and with clients – and recommend them to others frequently!

  • Jenny
    Reply

    Colette! I am a medium as well and what you described about seeking the truth of our ancestral stories is what I’ve been guided to do for myself and my clients! The past couple weeks I’ve been working with my grandmother to uncover the truth of her life and how it has affected everyone down line from her. The stories I was told of her experiences and what she actually experienced are vastly different. What she has shown me connects the dots of the events of her life with a story that makes much more sense! It is fascinating and so healing to have the truth be revealed by my grandmother to me through my mediumship. I can feel her peace and settled heart after the truth is spoken. It helps me shift out of and break the cycles that began in my grandmothers life and I am living out without understanding why.
    I totally agree that the stories we are told give us a framework from which we view our lives and where we come from. It requires a very open mind to hear a different story!!! Good luck to you in your quest for the truth! For indeed the truth shall set you (and your ancestors) free! 🥰

  • Donna D.
    Reply

    This is something I’ve been mulling over for about a month now, too. My sister’s DNA test came back without 2 genetic lineages that we expected to be there. Now I’m waiting to see what my results are. However, in the meantime I’ve been questioning our family’s oral history, the science behind DNA testing, and what this all means for my identity. How can I be the same person I’ve been all my life without the cultural identities that formed the core beliefs of that identity? & if my DNA does come back with the expected markers, then what matters more – the family story or the genes? If my DNA shows the Cherokee, then has my path – which, among other things, has led me to study shamanism and Native American history – been tied to those genes? & has my sister’s lack of interest in Native American history or anything to do with the Spirit World, been related to her own lack of Native American DNA? The fact that siblings do not carry the same genes makes me really wonder how we take into account our family history. & how do I redefine my story taking account
    of cultural ancestry and genetic history? & one of my spirits guides that I’ve felt since I was a child I’ve always thought of as my Cherokee great great grandmother – who is she if she’s not my ancestor?

    (Have drawn the Uzume card on this line of questioning, so I’ve been trying to keep lighthearted with a sense of humor while I work through this little mystery. Thank you, Colette, for your decks, which have helped guide me and keep me positive for years!)

    Here’s an article on the science of why our genes don’t always show what we expect from our DNA results based on our family history.
    https://genetics.thetech.org/ask-a-geneticist/same-parents-different-ancestrydo

  • Becky
    Reply

    OMG Colette – there are so many of “us” out here. I recently found out thru DNA testing that my biological father is not who raised me – my now deceased brother is my only full sibling out of 5 of us! My mother & father are both deceased, and I have no clues about the identity of my bio-dad. I have a half-sibling out there that has never responded to me, I don’t have enough info on her/him to go much further with it. It is a mystery at this point – and I have been through a lot of emotions since finding out. Good luck with your journey,
    Becky

  • Anonymous
    Reply

    I am so moved by all your stories and now curious about my own. I don’t know much about DNA tests – if anyone would like to share specifics about where to get a test, I would appreciate it!

    • Sandy
      Reply

      There are several good DNA testing companies. Ancestry.com is the most common, for those who are looking to connect with other family members. They have over 15 million people tested, & many with online family trees. MyHeritage is another good company. Also 23 and Me, and Family Tree DNA if you want specifically Y-DNA (for men to discover their direct male line only), or mitochondrial for direct female line only. My interest was more in finding cousins than in my ethnic heritage, and I’ve been a subscriber to Ancestry.com as a genealogist for over 15 yrs., so I chose them for my test. MyHeritage is based in Israel, so tends to have more European or Scandinavian people testing with them. Hope this helps!

  • Anonymous
    Reply

    I had an awakening or perhaps more rightly should be called enlightenment. Very briefly In a telepathic communication I was shown my own inner processing which is very powerful indeed and we all have this driver which controls our life choices. This showed me that I was not who I thought I was, it was a story I had made up. I had been enclosed in a paradigm (thoughtform) which although it was protective also was very limiting. the shattering of the paradigm was painful but also very freeing. It seemed I was strong enough at this time to be able to cope with this life changing truth as it turned my world upside down. I had no idea I was being driven to filter choices through this unconscious driver to preserve the image I had of myself. Having seen through our world of duality and polarisation there is no going back. And there cannot be a new story as this will perpetuate the story telling leaving no place for truth again or our Being to come forth. It will be like being on the Hamster Wheel and not able to get off. To live without a story is very dificult indeed, at least in the beginning and it can leave us feeling like we have no direction which brings up feelings of helplessness. This is good as it is showing us .he truth of our ego selves. Making sense is driven by our small ego needs and capabilities and this is what leads to creating a story to make sense of our lives in the first place. I had become very proficient at lying to myself which the story I had made up helped me to do as it really seemed to protect me (or so I thought).

  • Kate
    Reply

    I recently met with a wonderful, gifted shaman/medium who — after coming out of a trance in a “soul retrieval” — told me there were two significant events in my past lives she was guided to share with me. Both events, it turns out, were having a profound effect on my current life. The details blew me away. It was a combination of what I never consciously knew yet it all resonated deeply as the Truth. The experience was like getting a spiritually-charged DNA test! (In fact, she said one event in particular had become encoded in my DNA, so with help from spiritual powerhouses in other dimensions this was removed). I now feel more like “myself” and can see how I spent years blindly accepting stories of what I believed were mysterious character failings and flaws. I’m still integrating all of this deep within, a beautiful journey of the spirit and soul. Can’t wait to hear, Colette, about what you’ve discovered thru your DNA test!

  • Katherine Jewell
    Reply

    Yes, Ma’am, who did your DNA test and who is doing the second one — please
    Katherine Jewell
    thank you

  • Michele S
    Reply

    This is so fascinating, Colette! I am a big fan of DNA testing but you need to be ready for the “good, bad and ugly” truth of your makeup. After I learned I was adopted at the ripe age of 60, I began my Origins Journey. Sadly my adopted parents and most of their siblings had already passed. I learned what I could from my surviving relatives only to learn that many false truths were passed on from generation to generation. I was blessed to be part of a large, loving family. And recently blessed to become a part of a large, loving family of my birth mother (also deceased) who live just 15 minutes away! I knew the Universe presented many new truths about my identity and my ancestral past for my benefit. I continue to meditate on these truths to learn more about their importance and purpose in my life now. What am I meant to do, to be? It is all very intriguing and frustrating. My oracle card picks this week were very revealing on this subject. They reflected a new skin (Snake Spirit), a new self truth (Parrot Spirit) and healing from the sting (Wasp Spirit.) And a snake actually entered my house last week! I think I really need to pay attention. Wish you a healing discoveries and a loving journey!

  • Anonymous
    Reply

    Colette, I found out I was adopted ( but no through DNA). However my whole life I worried about having heart disease and vascular issues because my “mom” had these issues. So when I found out I was adopted ( my sister & I had to laugh) because not of that relates to me at all now. It is interesting how we build stories around what we believe to be true. I love the mother who raised me but am relieved I do not have her heart issues. I wish you well on your journey of discovery. By the way I am loving your decks and have gifted them to my sister and niece ( especially WOTO, Animal Spirit and The Goddess deck.) May you be blessed in all that you do!! Much Love, Rena

  • Sandy Dixon
    Reply

    I just finished Dani’s book last week and have been asking the same questions you posed. After contemplation, journaling, and meditating, I keep circling back to the “I don’t know” mindset. I don’t know, but I’m remaining curious (as you’ve taught us in Shared Wisdom💚). This journey of connection and self discovery gets more and more interesting, doesn’t it? Thanks for sharing this…I was thinking of you and the group as I read the book.

  • Linda Ellis
    Reply

    Colette,I watch your weekly Oracle videos and loved the story of your DNA journey. I decided to take a DNA test a few years ago because I was curious to see if all those family stories I’d always heard growing up could be true. Surprisingly, I discovered that many of them were true, however, I discovered a startling new fact. I have a half-sister that I never knew about. Given that she’s only 9 months younger than I am sparked an initial surge of anger at my father. Since he’s been deceased since 2000, I couldn’t even ask him about it. But my anger was quickly overwhelmed by the joy of having a sister again. You see both of the siblings I grew up with are deceased and her adopted sister was dying so I knew that Spirit had brought us together. I hope to write a story about my DNA journey some day. Thank you for sharing. I can’t wait to hear the rest of your story.

  • Jenny Fritz
    Reply

    That is wonderful! I hope you are happy with your results. I was adopted and took multiple DNA tests. Fascinating stuff!! The results were all close but some differences. If I hadn’t already found my birth parents, I definitely would have through the tests! Thank you for being so awesome! Namaste💜🙏

  • Teresa
    Reply

    💖 ➡️💕💕💕

  • Lorraine Murphy
    Reply

    I never knew I was italian! I was taught my Dad was irish & french. Now onto research on his mother’s side which I dont know anything about. Will be a fascinating journey!

  • Anonymous
    Reply

    just received my dna results today. I was adopted and the only info given of my birth parents was that I was Native American. After 72 years of abuse for being Native I find out I have no Native blood and am fully British. No immediate relatives. Several cousins. I can not relate to being British in any way shape or form. Feels like another gut blow. will take some time to digest.

  • Susan Lendvay
    Reply

    This is not about DNA, but about growing up with a story made up of lies, possibly to protect me , but that were very damaging to my psyche, until I intuited the truth and then worked to change my identity based on it. My father and mother divorced when I was a baby, and I was given in custody to my father, He told me repeatedly that my mother didn’t love me, and didn’t want me, and then when we escaped the Communist country, I was 6, and he told me my mother wanted to kidnap me so he had to hide me. As refugees, we were then separated as I was put into into a refugee children’s home. Didn’t understand any of it, and was sure I was now alone in the world and even my father didn’t want me because he abandoned me to strangers. I was scared and lonely and felt sure nobody wanted wanted me or loved me and this was my identity for many years. Leading to depression, no self-worth, eventually leading to a suicide attempt. All that has changed now. I found God and learned to pray and as I fervently prayed to forgive my mother, found out it wasn’t true, and there was nothing to forgive, only compassion as she had suffered from losing her child as well! After years of spiritual study and reading and experiencing help from guides and angels and miraculous happenings, I am still working on loving myself, and healing and becoming whole. And found out I could change my “story” — been helped by psychic readings, people like you, Colette (thank you!), hypnosis, etc. The oracle cards are wonderfully helpful.

  • Michelle
    Reply

    Omg I absolutely love this blog. I can totally relate about family stories. My dna test and genealogy journey has been extraordinary one. I grew up never really knowing my mother or my father’s ancestry. When I took a dna test I noticed something particular I had a larger amount of native ancestry then I thought and I had african ancestry. I am like where did that come from? I started my genealogy journey about 3 years ago. I came from first generation mexican and second generation mexican parents. My dad from Mexico and my mother being second generation american. My maternal grandfather came from Mexico in 1949 because of some family tragedy and he settled in california. He grew up in the state of Jalisco, Mexico and he comes from a region of Jalisco and they are known for being old creole families. My grandfather came from a working ranching family and there was lot of tragedy in my family and so there wasn’t a lot of happy stories but many sad ones. So I talked with my grandfather about his family and learned their names and i worked back and then my whole world just opened up with the most extraordinary lineages. It’s rather shocking and my grandfather never had any idea. We found out he’s descended from many conquerors of mexico who were with hernan cortes in 1521. He’s a descendant from montezuma and he’s a cousin to Miguel de Cervantes, who wrote don quixote and he’s cousin to sor juana ines de la cruz one of mexico’s greatest literary writers and she has a netflix series about her called “Juana Ines” and it’s his african ancestors that married into this line related to sor juana is where the african and native american heritage in my dna test come from. My grandfather has at least 4 ancestors listed at the coronado historcal site in New Mexico because they explored what is now kansas in 1540. He is descended from large amounts of aristocracy and even though he comes from several of these people the stories of his ancestors show some as very violent, tragic and power hungry. He even had sephardic jewish ancestors tried in the inquisition in 1494. So I see a pattern of very sad and tragic stories in my family still. That has been my story so far in doing family history and one example of a false story is that my grandfather was believed to have recent french ancestry, nope he has none it was just a story and he even had a hard time with accepting that he had african heritage. The most extraordinary thing is that the dna testing matches the data I have collected in family records.

  • Leslie Hoffman
    Reply

    Maybe this is why I have had the test for over 6 months still sitting in a drawer?
    Fear of something not being as it “should” be? Fear of shaking up my stories of how I am supposed to be?
    Time to put my big girl panties on, take a breath, pull a WOTO card and merely do it.
    I am a mentor in Oracle school and with these last few years of your guidance and beautiful being, I can honestly say I am breaking free.
    Here is one more example from you of another AHA moment for me.
    Thank you Colette.
    Nothing but love and blessing to you.

  • Sandy
    Reply

    Welcome to the club, Colette! I’ve been a genealogist for nearly 40 years, and discovered only a year ago, via a Y-DNA test that a male cousin took for me, that my 2nd GGF was born out of wedlock. So my mother’s maiden name should have been Buckner, not Harper! I realize it’s generationally farther removed than in your situation, but it still was a surprise.

    These types of surprises are a daily, or several times daily, revelation of people on a DNA testing Facebook page I monitor. When Sheila Gillette and Theo said a year or two ago that many things hidden would be revealed in these current years, they weren’t just whistling Dixie!!

    Looking forward to your revised story! Big hug!!

  • cyndee stegall
    Reply

    This REALLY resonates with me………..my entire life, I was defined by a story that had very little relation to the truth. I discovered that my parents had been keeping an enormous secret until the day they died……and their actions around that secret made them the most judgmental and accusatory people I ever knew. Thankfully, I discovered the big secret (or was told by the one remaining relative who knew) and it changed my life. The burden of not being good enough that I carried my whole life was lifted off my shoulders. I finally was able to understand that they were acting out their own self-hatred, and taking it out on me. As liberating as it has been, it’s come with a lot of pain as well. It has required me to find levels of forgiveness that I have found challenging. Thank goodness for the supportive environment I live in now.

  • CHANTALE SOUFFRANT
    Reply

    Hi Colette
    I love that you brought up this subject. My dad told me for all my entire childhood that I was not his/both my parents child. He told me that he switched me in the hospital with someone else baby because theirs was stillborn. This brought me a lot of pain as you can imagine. For my 50th birthday I decided to do one of those DNA testing which revealed not only my descendants but the only family I am tied to is his. I was heartbroken. The only thing that made me come to terms with the ways he treated me as a child is knowing that I was not his child, we had no blood relations. Now to entertain the idea he is truly my dad is heartbroken. I just called the results wrong. I said because I am Haitian maybe these companies have no way of providing a true DNAtest on me. The test by the way states that I am 92% Ghani’s.

  • lala
    Reply

    When I did 23andMe I got the shock of my life. Always thought I was from a different ethnicity, and yes I’m 25% “something else” 🙂 It was an extremely emotional time for me, coming to terms with that.

  • Andrew Mondia
    Reply

    It has been on my bucket list to do a DNA test. Wondered which company you went with or companies and which you like the best? Very interesting what we can learn from doing DNA test. Thank-you!

  • Leslie
    Reply

    This blog was definitely one that I resonate with. In my early twenties I learned unexpectedly that my father had a child from another marriage. I was unable to learn any more until in my mid-twenties when I learned it was a son from a first marriage and his name was Wayne. I learned this because the extended family (who I never met until I was in my late teens because my father was estranged from them) were trying to locate my dad to tell him his son had died. In the process of trying to learn more, I learned that my father also had a daughter, Susan, from a second marriage that I didn’t know about, who is probably just a few years older than I. So, I learned my younger sister and I were his children from his third marriage. Suffice it to say that there were lots of other “surprises” along the way. I’ve never been able to get answers or find my older sister. The more I tried to find out, the more secrets were buried and only partially unearthed. My father left my mother for the last time (there were other times) 6 weeks prior to my first marriage, back in 1979. Suffice it to say that truth has been an important theme for me. Both of my parents have passed on and decades later, I am learning to detach from the old stories of deceit and betrayal and live with the “unknown,” rewriting my own, vibrant, present story of a joyous, spirit-filled life. Thank you for sharing your story and being so incredibly real with us. Much, much love ~ Leslie

  • theresa hannah
    Reply

    wow..Colette, I learned about my DNA dad while taking your class in oracle. I did not know who my dad was. ancestry and other family members contacted me. i joined ancestry to find my son I gave up for adoption when I was 17. i found out at 17yrs old that time that the man i thought was my dad was not, found out a lot more as well. so this is a wish come true for me 🙂 a lot of unknown, hurt ,truth is coming to the surface..i am still working on this. my DNA dad passed in 2002. i took mediumship classes 2019(JVP) and he came through FOR ME ..wow..what a ride

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