Being Open-Minded & Not Making Assumptions - Colette Baron-Reid | Oracle Queen | Founder of Oracle School

Being Open-Minded & Not Making Assumptions

WEEKLY ORACLE CARD READING

Why being a know-it-all prevents miracles, and why DNA tests don’t tell the whole story

This week I learned an important lesson that pertains to this timely topic. If you’ve been reading my blog, you’ve been following a lot of my personal story as I’ve shared more than usual in the past few months. We’ve had a lot of requests for me to share more, so here goes. To bring you up to speed, if you didn’t read the one about me and getting my DNA test done, you would have learned that my DNA test shocked me because it appeared that the lack of a certain Ashkenazi marker meant my mom wasn’t actually Jewish. Or, so I concluded. I mean DNA doesn’t lie, right? 

Although I was raised Christian, my mom dropped a doozy of a surprise on us when our family lost everything and after a few cocktails told me we were actually Jewish, (or she was) which meant that from now on we were, which was very confusing. After a whole lifetime of hiding secrets of what happened to her in WW2, although we did get snippets, she decided to finally tell us all of it. Apparently, her father was separated from her mom when the Nazis began their racist campaign in Germany and had escaped from Berlin to Paris. He joined the resistance movement and came back to rescue my mom one day to take her back to France with him. Her mom had been killed by a bomb and she had been adopted by a family who worked for her grandfather. Unfortunately, the rescue went wrong and he was picked up by the SS at their door and was sent to the death camps and killed in Dachau. I had dreams about the Holocaust when I was little and saw in detail things that happened in the camps. It all made sense when she told me 20 years later the truth of what I saw. 

When I took the DNA test I expected to see a major percentage of Ashkenazi and was so shocked to see I got 0%, which coupled with some genetic research I began 11 years ago around her family threw me for a loop. Could her birth father be someone else? Who was the man in my dreams? It made me question so much of the story that held so much sway over mine and made me want to dive in deeper. It was disturbing but fascinating to learn all this.

What happens when you make assumptions when you think you know something? You come to conclusions that may be wrong. It made me think of how people say anything these days without really knowing what they’re talking about. Nowadays people have a hard time distinguishing between fact and opinion. When some or all of the facts are missing you may very well come to a conclusion about something or someone that turns out to be wrong. 

My sister had not yet done her test. I had told her about what I discovered and bewildered she went and did hers. There it was—Sephardic not Ashkenazi! My grandfather was part Spanish/Jewish. I had no idea two siblings from the same parents could have different results. Of course, doing more research now we see clearly that this is true. A DNA test is not a complete picture of ancestry unless other people in your family take theirs too. 

I had spent a few months in an identity crisis because of information that was incomplete. I’ve wanted to understand where I come from and who are my ancestors. Science doesn’t lie, right? But then it’s not the complete picture, in the end, is it? You can’t scientifically measure the love and the blood, sweat, and tears that run through your roots. You can’t scientifically know the suffering and the loss, nor the joy and the awe of the lives that have shaped your own, and in some cases given up so yours can survive. Science can’t show you a marker to measure hatred or racism or community and connection. Can DNA show meaning? No, but it can point to its possibilities.

I am so glad we did this test for, in the end, we both concluded that our family roots are sacred to us. Our stories are rich and sacred and true as we know them and also we will never know everything because we can only find pieces of the puzzle in our search for identity and meaning. But the life force of our parents, and theirs and so on, the spirits of our ancestors call us to remember not only what was good, but remember other things we never want to see repeated in the world. Today, like it or not, we’re in a world where we dare not fall asleep for too long nor ever take the good for granted. We must choose it daily with awareness and refuse to participate in what we know is wrong.

You may not have a DNA story but you might have read a gossip magazine or listened to someone complain about someone else and decided, well if they said it, it must be true! Don’t believe everything you read or hear. One of my favorite chapters in The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz is about not making assumptions. 

Today I commit to humbly keeping open, staying in beginner mind and continuing to educate myself so I keep doing better. I’m living eyes wide open and listening to others and I’m committed to changing things as I understand them better. We really are in this messy hairball of life together. (I know I said something similar last week.) And, remember that opinions are not facts, and even facts might be incomplete. Stay learning. Stay open. Keep learning. 

Ok, now it’s your turn! Tell us a story of family discovery or, just let us all know how you are and perhaps share a reminder of goodness you may have witnessed this week. 

Love always

Showing 64 comments
  • Jennifer 🐳🐋🐬🦉🐾🌹🌸🌼🌺🌈🌌🌋
    Reply

    👍🏾

    • Debbie
      Reply

      Thanks Colette, I thoughly enjoyed reading this! Last night we had a beautiful Thanksgiving dinner with my sister and her boys. I awoke today with a grateful heart. The feeling continued after reading your blog. Thank you for such a high vibrational read!💕 Happy Thanksgiving!

    • Faith
      Reply

      Happy Thanksgiving in Canada! I enjoy reading about your family, thoughts, opinions, and truths. A relative did our geneology for both sides of my family plus some geneology for extended family members. Quite interesting and a wonderful way of passing on family history. My adult children want to purchase the DNA test so when they do perhaps I can share any surprises on our family history.

      Have a beautiful and amazing week!

    • Michelle
      Reply

      I’ve been doing research on my family so never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine I had Sephardic ancestry also. When I started studying it, it blew me away. My ancestors were forced to convert or had to leave Spain in 1492. My 17th great grandparents were tried in the Spanish inquisition in 1494 for judaizing. A very sad and tragic case and my family were Catholic for the last 500 years. Sephardic ancestry is very unique and different and I hope you delve I to knowing more. It’s such a rich history and culture.

      • Colette Baron-Reid
        Reply

        I plan on it. It makes sense though with my mothers dark hair and eyes and complexion and there is no one alive that can help me but I know my grandfathers name and the concentration camp he was killed in so hopefully I can find the threads. It is fascinating.

    • Ronda
      Reply

      This story was much like my own when I took the DNA test and found 0% Native American. My heart was broken and I was wondering how that could be. I heard story after story of my mother’s father and also on my dad’s side. My brother did the DNA test also and nothing showed up again but I will still treasure my family stories that Cherokee and Blackfoot were my ancestors.

    • Jane Mathers
      Reply

      My back ground is highly diverse, extending from, East India, Scottland, England, Dutch to Ojibwe Native.

  • Tiziana Amagda Morgana
    Reply

    I didn’t read your blog about DNA test (I’ll do tomorrow), but yours is a very interesting story… I had a proposal to take the test a couple of years ago, to check genetic illnesses or markers, but the price was too high and so I didn’t. I know my family roots (or a part of) by the researches done by dad, since his family is very mixed, and Italian only for a small part. Mum was born in a very little town, and she knew most of her family, but we think there is some Spanish blood too, because her sister, some of the cousins and an aunt had Spanish traits, very different from the other members (eye, hair and skin color especially). Mum has also somatic traits a bit Arabic, but I think it is due to a past life of her, she dreamt a lot about (she was a Tuareg, a Prince of the Desert). Mum and Dad believe in reincarnation, and it is very weird, because the rest of family is Catholic, but I have an Hebrew second name… so, it would be very interesting for me doing the test… who knows, maybe in a near future I will have the money…

  • Diana Gilbert
    Reply

    I learned that my father was born out of wedlock in a tiny European town (1926). As a child, I had dreams of being a doctor or being around a doctor and even to this day get asked if I’m in the medical field (not). I learned that my father’s biological father was the village doctor’s son…. We have never dug into the past but my curiosity grows. Both mom and dad passed away 6 years ago. Maybe it’s time…..

  • Anonymous
    Reply

    Thanks for sharing Colette. I love your perspective on life, and all your teachings. God Bless!

  • Jerry Gardner
    Reply

    Hi Colette, thank you for sharing and all you do to promote positivism in the community. I wanted to say that I’ve done some research on the popular DNA tests like 23 and me and Ancestry, as well as others. They are very general at best and very wrong at worst. One case had identical twin sisters taking the tests and they came back with very different results. they should have been identical. They only test about 1% of your DNA and then run it through their computer matching programs. They miss a lot. I wouldn’t worry about the results and go with what your Grandmother said. You have a rich family heritage that supersedes popular gimmick. Much love!

  • Dahlia Garza
    Reply

    Hi Colette thank you for sharing, I find your life interesting. Mine is a Cinderella story. I have 3 sisters, my parents, I felt treated me different. I am the 2nd daughter. My mom was the eldest in her family so I felt she gave in to her eldest daughter. #3 daughter has always been demanding. My mom gave in to her. The youngest is her baby. I look back & see how I was left to fend for myself. When my mom was ill before she died in 1999, I asked her WHY? my pop was present. They both sd I was the strongest of the 4 & they knew I could be left alone & I’d survive. I’d get things done without being told or watched over. This has always bothered me. I told them they forced me to become strong. Many times I felt I had no one to lean on. My pop died in 2001 & still comes to me in my dreams. At 55yrs I feel so tired & drained. I push myself because I have too. I have 1 child a son who is 23 in the US AIR FORCE. He purchased his first home this year here in Cheyenne, Wyoming. We are very happy & content. I have cut all contact with my 3 sisters. They have never been friendly or respectful toward me. I’ve tried to keep peace with them but they don’t try. I have 2 uncles, 3 aunts left, alot of our older family members have passed. Many cousins who am friends with on FB. My son has detached himself from most of the family because he saw for himself how they treat me. That’s my story in a nutshell. One last thing I was born, raised, lived 55yrs of my life in Southern Cali, Orange County, the beach area. Moved here to Cheyenne this last December 2018 to be with my son who will be stationed here 4yrs. He ask me to move here & get away from my sisters & extended family.

  • Jennifer
    Reply

    Hi Colette. Your recent blog posts about family have gotten me thinking about my own family. I know so very little about my family, outside of my immediate family members. I do have an odd question that I’m hoping you (or maybe someone else) could answer for me.
    When I was a kid, I was an avid reader, and I pretty much read every book we had in our house. My mom has never been much of a reader, but my dad was always reading, so the books were all his and were a reflection of his broad and diverse interests, many of them on the topics of religion and spirituality. So, of course, these books of his that I read at a very early age (elementary school age–I don’t ever remember a time in my life when I wasn’t able to read) had a strong influence on how my own views were formed. I was so young when I read them, I didn’t always pay much attention to the names of the authors, as I wouldn’t have known who they were anyway. The only one I was familiar with at the time was Shirley MacClaine, because my mom liked her as an actress. 🙂 It was years later that I recognized that some of the books I had read were by Edgar Cayce.
    My question, though, is about a book in the genre of religion/spirituality that I read whose title and author I have never been able to remember. It had such an influence on me as a kid that you’d think I should be able to remember, but I was only concerned with the content of the book instead of the title or author. Knowing that you are an avid reader, I was hoping that you might know which book it is that I can’t recall.
    There was a lot that I learned from the book, but I’ll tell you how to know if it’s a book you’ve read or not. The author tells a story about how she was pregnant and had no idea until she went into labor on a roller coaster! The other details that I recall probably aren’t worth relating, because they are similar to what I’ve read in other books and probably wouldn’t help to identify it (for example, imagining a gold cord connecting a person to the divine), but if anyone can help me figure out which book/author this might have been, I’d really appreciate it! Thank you!

  • Freda Roberts
    Reply

    Hello, my story that I know of my mother was she was full blood Han Hwec’hin, first nation of the North, however, she married my half-breed father and lost her indian rights, then she had no people, didn’t belong with no people, even though she did have her people right in the community, she didn’t belong to either. At her time, if a status person married a non-status person especially a woman, she lost all her rights, to her life, her connection, where she was allowed to live, was not allowed to have a job of any sorts, no alcohol, and especially no rights to her children that she had. I am her first born, I was wanted for the first part of my life then at around the age of 4 things changed to the worst, abandon, rejection, lost feelings and just wanting her to love me or just be there for me. Then the first husband left her with me, then she went with another man this time a white guy who then gave her 3 kids, now we all really didn’t have any rights and the community made sure that we knew that in ways that were not good. The social workers were always taking the children away to foster homes because of abandon and neglect, eventually when there were no foster homes to take us as it was a small community, we were sent to another bigger city. My mother followed us however, she had her own problems and issues going on with her self. She tried to keep in contact with us of some sorts, however, it got harder and harder as most of the time she didn’t know where we were at, when she was allowed to take us back for a short time, it was not good alcoholism and abuse were there. So eventually we became wards of the courts and taken for two years in residential schools and then a number of foster homes however we were not white or indian so we always slip between the cracks. There were three of us children kept together the others were some where else, which we didn’t get to see for years. When we were allowed to visit with each other, which was not often, we didn’t recognize that those kids were our brother or sister, we didn’t know what to say to each other, we had no connection, no way of just being there for each other, as the social workers or foster parents were always watching making sure that we stayed separated and didn’t cause problems for anyone. This dis-connection caused problems for us later in life, we couldn’t make a relationship with our siblings, or our mother, or our people, or anyone, or cultural and traditions. I, as the first born, looked like my mother, dark skinned, brown eyes, dark hair, however, somewhere along the way, I tried to become like those that kept us for the money, blue eyes, blond, white skinned, well that didn’t happened. When I aged out of the foster system, I just about repeated the same pattern that with my daughter, we had a dysfunctional relationship, however she stayed with me until she left around the age of 16 or so, I brought her up being strong, smart, any connection was better than nothing. I finally received the foster papers on why I – we were taken away from our mother and it was such a sad story that I just cried and cried for my mother on reading some of her story and her struggles. This is only some of what I do know of my mothers struggles with alcoholism, etc and she did die an early death and I saw the angels come and take her away to heaven and she was so worn out from life that it took four angels to bring her home. I, eventually was asked to be an alcohol – drug counselor with training after I was two years sober, so I said, if I was going to be in this position, I will become the best and after 30 odd years of sobriety, counselling, treatment, healing, recovery and still recovering, I now understand where my mother and people came from. My sobriety road wasn’t always smoothing going, married my husband and he sobered up, went to the 90 days aa meetings, went to alanon, and practice those teachings in my life until it became ingained in me so much so that it became a part of me. Also learnt my first nation people’s culture and traditions and incorporated it some much in the healing of my people that is was just as natural as anything. Still healing and recovering along working on healing the relationship with my children, husband, family and community and forgiving myself most of all. I am taking your course and just love it, I can identify with you and your recover and when you talk about certain issues of your own life, I do relate, as I have had certain gifts all my life, have had to shut them down for years as it make people uncomfortable around me, still had visions though and seen spirits, had vived dreams all my life, only now 65 years later, I am allowed myself to embrace my gifts, it was so natural for me to enrol in your course. Just a small snap shot of my mothers and my life time.
    Thank you Thank you Thank you Freda Roberts

    • Anonymous
      Reply

      Dear Freda, I don’t know you, but I think you ARE BEAUTIFUL xx

  • Kim Thompson
    Reply

    Thanks for sharing your story Colette. I’ve been doing genealogy research for several years now but more this year since my son gave me a subscription to Ancestry last Christmas. I’m discovering that family lore is being debunked all over the world with DNA testing and more documents being available on-line. My big debunk was that we were always told that we had an Indian grandmother (from India). My Mum and I did the DNA test, no Indian continent at all. Further research, thanks to the LDS centre, showed that our grandmother was indeed born in India but of British parents. Her dad was in the British military at the time and her Mum was also from England. Needless to say, most of us were disappointed, although I have one brother who doesn’t believe it even though we have proof. I am discovering so many things about my ancestors, mostly good, that really help to discover part of who I am.

  • Honey Bee
    Reply

    Interpretation of the test is an art as well as a science. It depends on what segments they are looking at, and you can get more genetic material from one parent than another. That’s why sibling percentages aren’t the same. https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/2019/1/28/18194560/ancestry-dna-23-me-myheritage-science-explainer

  • Diana Evers
    Reply

    My husband has always shared stories of his Native American roots passed to him from his mother. Well, what a surprise when his AncestryDNA results showed zilch, nada, nothing! We had a bit of a chuckle but also, wait! What about all the stories??? Is his grandpa really his grandpa??
    A few months ago, his aunt contacted him as she had noted him on her ancestry list. Her question, did he have any Native American?? Was grandma a storyteller??
    I’m not sure how far he will pursue this. He does have one other brother. His mom will likely say the testing is a bunch of bs.
    Thank you for sharing your story and insights!

    • Anonymous
      Reply

      I am now 72 years old. Have been treated, and abused, as Native American my entire life. proud to be native. My DNA shows zero native but my birth father was an enrolled Choctaw, which he did not inform the rest of his family of because it was not safe. I was adopted out at birth and finally found some of my blood relatives this spring.

  • Tammy Tocheniuk
    Reply

    I had a similar experience based on assumptions. My great grandmother’s name was Millie Finnigan-I had known that this branch of my family tree had roots in Ireland before making their way to New Brunswick, Canada. So, her name was not a surprise-I pictured in my mind this Irish rose of a woman. A few years ago, it came to light that Millie’s mother was Mi’kmaq-an Indigenous tribe from the east coast of Canada. Recently I was sent a picture of Millie and her mother and yes, they are Mi’kmaq and of Mi’kmaq ancestry-no obvious Irish traits to be seen. While this information has helped me discover who I am-and really makes sense as to why I am drawn to the things I am, and do the kind of work I do, I did have to change the picture in my mind’s eye and rearrange my thinking of my ancestry. Thanks for sharing!

  • Jeanne
    Reply

    What a wonderful way to start my day with a dose of Colette, I always find truth and better understanding, Thank You. I had my DNA tested many years ago and am an avid genealogist. When my testing came back it showed that I have percentages from Benin/Togo. When we checked my mothers and sisters DNA they had none. Of course that brought the old family teasing of, “You were adopted, found under a bush, etc.. to my mind and I thought, are the old family teasings true? As I looked down thru the family stories and tree I found many clues to those percentages. I am always assured by my ancestors that I am loved and watched over and they appreciate that I am looking to get to know them better, of course I do have a few whom I believe do not want to be found at this time or ever because of my brick walls, only time will tell. All that matters is, that I love, and Am loved! Hugs to all this day

  • Sharon Hiebert
    Reply

    Hi Colette.
    I am a 4th generation Canadian. The bulk of my lineage is from France (44%) and the United Kingdom (31%). There is a small percentage from Spain and Italy too. However, the most delightful surprise experienced when I received my DNA result is that I also have Native American DNA. Not a lot, but it’s there!
    My European and UK ancestors immigrated to Canada through the Maritime Provinces and Quebec. Some stayed there and some went south into the USA (Acadians). But, my grandparents eventually headed west and settled on the Canadian Prairies. Somewhere along the way though, at least one of my ancestors partnered with somebody with First Nations DNA. Interestingly enough, there was always a curious silence and denial about such a possibility whenever we questioned my parents about it. Now, through DNA testing, we know that what my siblings and I had suspected, is actually true. My daughter also carries Native American DNA so it has been proven through the 5th generation as well.
    It is entirely refreshing to have the blindfold removed so that we can see more of the truth.
    xoxo
    Sharon

  • Kathryn
    Reply

    Hi! I’ve never been one to have the yearning to go back into time about ancestry. I don’t know if that is good or bad or no matter. My family didn’t talk much about their ancestors either. I guess it’s so vague to venture back to ancestry & in the long run does it really matter. I figure I’ll get all caught up when I go back to the light. In the meantime work on yourself, do the best you can & be kind. Heed the golden rule.

  • Barbara McCleery
    Reply

    I did my DNA test too. Found out I have Jewish ,french,Basque , Italian, and more but most percentage was native American with 59%. Thought it was so awesome to find this out. My mother was surprised to know she had Jewish blood too. I love it all 💕

  • kate
    Reply

    Hi Colette … I’ve always tried to work my family history like a jigsaw puzzle with so many missing pieces. My parents rarely spoke about their family histories, and as a journalist I always wanted to know the full story. One fact I did know: My father’s older sister had been murdered when she was six months pregnant. My dad was very little when it happened. He never spoke of it. He was an emotionally closed-off person, which made my childhood very difficult. Years after his death, my dad came thru in a session with a medium. He described having become so angry with my mother early in their marriage that he felt a desire to physically hurt her. He stopped himself and vowed he would shut himself down emotionally to avoid ever hurting her or us. In life, my father rarely said a full sentence to any of us, so of course he never could’ve explained it the way he did thru the medium. I felt I finally understood my dad. Then years later a medium brought in another missing piece: When my father got so angry with my mother that he wanted to physically hurt her, it triggered traumatic memories of his sister’s murder at the hands of an enraged coworker. This made my dad shut down completely. Some might argue that hearing such things thru a medium is not history or factual. Perhaps. But for me what I heard each time felt like the truth, and it helped me feel compassion for my father. Is the story complete? I don’t know, but I feel I know enough to let it go in peace…

  • Tiziana Amagda Morgana
    Reply

    I forgot to tell I had a lot of dreams about Holocaust too, even if it seems my family is not Jewish (but my second name, Amagda, is) and my parents were both born after WWII (Mum November 23rd 1946 and Dad March 31st 1947). My grandparents anyway were involved into: Dad’s had German people at home, because Granddad was a airplane motorist for Alfa Romeo (and he did also Spanish War with a false identity, because his cousin was on the other side… have you ever heard about Tina Modotti?) But I have never known the whole story, because he died when I was only 22 months old, and Grandma didn’t tell a lot about. Dad was the youngest child, and most of my info came via his sister, 18 years older. As about my Mum’s parents, they were much younger and I lived with them till the age of 6, so I know a lot about. Grandma was into Fascist Young Women group, but she had also a partisan brother, while Granddad was in Italian Sea Army, lost an eye during a battle and had his life saved (his ship got distroyed only a couple of months later). They were Catholic and worshipped Mother Mary and Padre Pio, so in childhood I was very near to Catholic Church too (but I knew their relationship with Padre Pio only when I was adult, in my childhood he was only a photo on a wall). Coming back to me, I have always had a very weird relationship with Jewish History and Holocaust, with weirder reactions to books and movies. Till I discovered, first during a Spirit talking and after with a regression, I was Jewish in my “previous” lifetime. Not only: I knew my name and my place and time of death. The Spirit Guide had talked about Colonia, so I did a little search and the name brought to the light was Dachau. Then, some years later, Italian TV broadcasted a fiction from a true story, and all pieces went at their place. And maybe it explains why I have a second Jewish name, and I am attracted by Yiddish and Kabbalah and other esotheric matters

  • Sharon
    Reply

    After my mom died, my brother gave me her birth certificate. I was filing it away and noticed the block “number of live births to this woman” was 8. My mom was one of 4 kids. My grandmother came over to the U.S. from Poland around 1910. When I told my only surviving aunt this story, she remembers hearing a story that my grandmother was in an arranged marriage with my grandfather. It is possible that my grandmother was married to someone in Poland and had 4 kids there, then moved to the U.S. Because of the european borders changing over the years, I may never know.

  • Anonymous
    Reply

    Hi Colette! I remember reading your first DNA story, so I was happy to see this update!
    The same thing happened to me when I did my DNA. I was always told all of my life by my grandmother that I had Native American blood from my father’s (and therefore her) side of the family, (Abenaki), and when I did my DNA, there was no Native blood! I was so disappointed, because I relate so much more to being Native than my mostly European lineage, so I wandered around not sure who I was anymore.
    Then my brother agreed to do his, and it showed up in his DNA! I was so happy, I did a celebration dance and sang the Hair version of Hare Krishna (that’s my happy song to sing and dance to, for some reason!)
    I was also hoping there would be Jewish lineage in there somewhere, because when my own family shunned me for religious reasons, a wonderful Jewish woman I’d known since I was little “adopted” me and gave me a home with her and her family, and she and I always thought it would be cool if I had a bit of Jewish blood, since I now had a Jewish mother. But no, I don’t, so we are connected karmically and with our souls, and that’s okay.

  • Cindy
    Reply

    I recently got back into bowling. I had enjoyed it in the past, but was frustrated by it because I got very inconsistent results. One day I would bowl a 220, the next I wouldn’t even break 100. Well, the same thing was happening when I started this summer. I was at the lanes one day, and noticed a sign behind the front desk saying that they were offering coaching, the price was $40/hr. More than I wanted to spend.

    A week later, I was bowling, and an older gentlemen bowling with some friends in the next lane over came over and gave me some very helpful tips. I would see him again from time to time, and he would give me a pointer here and there. He even offered me a coaching session. But despite all his help,, there was still something missing. I was still very inconsistent. However, I was reluctant to call the helpful man because I didn’t really want to pay $40 for an hour. But finally, I gave in. I called him and asked him to schedule a session, and asked how much he charged, and he said, “Nothing.”

    Because I assumed that he was going to charge me for his time, I continued to flounder around in frustration unnecessarily for weeks. I guess the Universe had heard my request for inexpensive help and answered. But my assumption caused me to delay getting my answer for several weeks!

    • Colette Baron-Reid
      Reply

      it’s true isn’t it? expectation and assumptions can cause unnecessary troubles.

  • Stephanie Litwin
    Reply

    My youngest brother had his DNA done and there was Ashkenazi in his DNA. That was a surprise because all research he had done didn’t point to and Jewish blood. But, my great grandparents came to USA from Germany. Nobody in my family line is Jewish. Interestingly enough, I married a Jew of Russia decent.
    A few years after my brother did his DNA I decided to have mine done. The percentages were different, some more than others, between us. My Scandinavian is much higher than his and my Ashkenazi is much lower. All the rest matched the fascinating research done by my brother and my aunt. My first relatives came on the Mayflower and so much more. It’s fun to learn our history, but in the end, it really doesn’t matter. Who we are today is most important.

  • Diane
    Reply

    So interesting, Colette! My DNA test confirmed what I’d heard from my Jamaican father’s family – there were West African slaves in our background, mostly from modern-day Ghana and Nigeria. The results keep updating and the percentage changes a bit, but I’m 15-20% West African. Recently learned from cousins that my grandfather went to the “coloured seminary” (old British term) and my dad attended the “coloured boarding school” in Jamaica named for the main slaving port in Nigeria (and Jamaican town where the school was originally located). My father’s long dead, but I suspect he came to the States to start over as white. When my cousin did hers, the Sephardic Jews we’d heard were in our lineage showed up about equal to the West African (mine was a tiny percent), so yes, there’s definitely value in multiple family members testing their DNA. Hope to visit the Slave Coast of Africa one day and get back to Jamaica!

  • Chris
    Reply

    I can’t speak to the DNA test part of my family history since none of us have taken one, but I did discover how easy it is to make faulty assumptions about family history based on limited information. During some genealogy research, years ago, we discovered that my great uncle had been in the battle of Vimy Ridge and died the day after the Canadians took the Ridge. Because it seemed the only logical conclusion, we assumed that he had been gravely injured and like many soldiers had suffered for countless hours until finally succumbing to his injuries. We were totally convinced of this story we had manufactured by filling in the gaps. But then on the 100th anniversary of Vimy, they opened the vault, so to speak, and uploaded the military records, and … we got it wrong. He survived the battle. He was sent out on a mission the next day and was picked off by a Nazi sniper. Unlike our seemingly plausible story of wounded in battle and suffering for a day, he was in fact killed instantly (or quickly) and not in the battle at all. Which, in itself is tragic, to have survived a horrendous battle like that only to be killed the very next day. But that slight change in the story we took to be “our” story, made me realize how much of our family history is invented by our need to attach a story to what limited information we may have. If new information hadn’t been released we would have passed our inaccurate version of his story down for generations because we believed it to be true. In the end, I was glad for him that his death was much swifter than it was in our imagined story but it was a good lesson to me that our stories are usually about us, personally, and not necessarily reality. Happy Thanksgiving, Colette!

    • Colette Baron-Reid
      Reply

      its so true.. the facts give a new story and show the attachment to identity .. its a fascinating study in human nature..

  • Linda
    Reply

    I also had my DNA test done and the results actually pissed me right off! I know I’m Scottish, I’ve traced my father’s side right back to Papa Westray in the Orkney Islands. There was no Scottish ancestry in my DNA results at all. That led me to think …. found under a cabbage leaf, switched at birth, my father is not my father, my mother was hiding something? Totally jumped to conclusions. Then I figured it out, if none of my father’s side had their DNA done (they’re all dead) than how could it be linked. Questions I may never have answered. I’m not sure that the whole DNA testing is a good thing?

    • Colette Baron-Reid
      Reply

      I get it – love the found under a cabbage leaf – made me laugh so hard. It freaked me out too. I have learned its incomplete to do a test yourself!! You be Scottish!

  • Theresa
    Reply

    Colette, thank you for this Blog. I have not had a DNA test but bless my mother, she kept things silent. My niece was doing some Ancestry information on my grandmother’s heritage but never had the real last name. My mother gave us a different name and no information. We had no pictures and only little information on who and what her family. I feel there was a reason for this and I want not into spending funds trying to find my family tree and just bless her for this. I was just appreciative we had a home, food and love.

  • Karin Green (Sweden)
    Reply

    Hi!
    I want to share an inner vision I had when I was about 14-15 (?). I saw my maternal grandmother standing, with my mother standing on her shoulders, and I finally on my mother’s shoulders. Both my grandmother and my mother were inside a huge pile of dung. Me too, but my head was in the open air. And I felt: “I am the first generation that is going to break the pattern of female oppression.” A powerful vision. 💜

  • Sophie Eldridge
    Reply

    Love you so much. Than you for sharing this amazing story with us xx

  • Sid Miller
    Reply

    I had received a request, from a man in the town, where my brother and sister were born. Come to find out, a younger brother of my father, had submitted a DNA test, and was in the data base. He hit in a leaf! Poor guy, his Mom wasn’t much help. His grandparents were! They remembered the 2 young men who bought the local Gas Station…A Texaco station. Long story short…….he called my Uncle one day, and in short he was told to ask me. Of course I agreed. Long story/ short…….. We all met up just two weeks ago! Myself, brother and sister now have a new half brother… and a great time was had by all! Lol! We are all in our 60’s! Thank You bunches for the chance to share♥️

  • Kelly
    Reply

    I learned from a DNA website, that members of the same family (siblings even) may not show the same DNA markers. I have not been able to have mine done, yet. I’m apprehensive about it.

    My brother and I are complete opposites. I’m average, blonde, and fair (my father’s side – Irish/British?) and he is tall, brunette, and darker complexion (which is my mother’s paternal side – Native American and ?)

    My mom’s family has a genealogy that is a direct lineage to George Gist – the Native American named Sequoyah. My sister-in-law confirmed and documented this with genealogical research and my niece is registered Cherokee. For all of my life, I have been so proud of this heritage. I would be devastated if my own DNA did not bear the markers! I had an Akashic Records reading not long ago where I asked if my ancestral lineage played an important role in my purpose this lifetime and was told, “not the physical lineage, but energetically, yes.” (Sequoyah’s mother was of the Red Paint Clan.)

    Perhaps I am assuming, too much, too?

  • Anonymous
    Reply

    Colette, I recently discovered your show and blog. I don’t watch Tv much but one night as I was channel surfing to just avoid a lot of other things I needed to be doing I found myself watching your wonderful show., I now pvr so I don’t have to watch commercials.
    I’ve now discovered your website and enjoying my time maneuvering it.
    Thank you for the messages I’m hearing from you in unexpected places. I loved your blog this week. I have a challenging week approaching and will keep an open mind with all the conversations that will be presented.
    During this Thanksgiving weekend it’s a great time to pause and take note of all that we need to be grateful for. I miss my Nan so much this particular holiday. She always challenged me to be open and to think differently.
    Thank you for sharing your stories , and so beautifully describing the gifts you received from your grandmother.
    Have a great week, Donna

    • Colette Baron-Reid
      Reply

      so thankful, doing that show was such an eye opener for me too and happy you found me. welcome!!

  • Leslie
    Reply

    Dear Colette
    Thank you very much for sharing your story with us, it reminded me of my own.
    I was born into an Orthodox Jewish Community in the 1940s. Neither parent would talk about the family. It was much much later in fact 2006 when I traced my family tree. It stretches back to the 1600s in Cornwall in England. Maternal Grandfather was born in Australia and converted to Judaism, Maternal Grandmother was born in Lithuania and came to Scotland with her mother to escape the pogroms. I have many cousins in Australia and America, there is still much to learn. Must do a DNA test. Thank you again.

  • Ann
    Reply

    Wow! This morning before getting out of bed I was thinking about how I want to be done with a person but realized they may not be ready for that & job wise wanted to be there already. Thinking it was so much easier when I was young & just trusted life & now I feel like I need to make decisions and feel clueless. I had not yet read this weeks blog or saw the videos for this week which I get up & watched both together. I picked card 3 which is Observer in protection & I am a Leo so got Between Worlds & Observer in protection with rising sign in Cancer so got Soul Mate in protection & Unfinished Symphony so Wow! I also loved the crystal as I need help with boundaries frequently, I struggle with being here for others and self care. Thank you so much for all you do & you are a gift to the world!

  • Ethel E. CLARKE
    Reply

    I am not asking “why?”, but your weekly readings are proving very accurate for me. I was feeling overwhelmed before I watched this week’s reading — too many bills and not enough money — until I saw your readings for this week. I am using the Wisdom of the Oracle deck I purchased, and I am following the Stars and Cards readings you do as well. Thank you for what you do!!!!! You are amazing!!!! Also, thank you for posting about your experience with DNA testing. My Dad’s family weren’t forthcoming with facts. Both he and my mother heard the tales told by his paternal and maternal grandfathers. Dad believed his paternal family came from Guernsey or Jersey Island, and there was supposed to have been an estate waiting for the fourth generation “David” in Scotland, Dad’s brother, who died in infancy. His maternal grandfather was said to have come from “near Aberdeen, Scotland” and that Grandfather’s grandparents were born in Scotland. The latter actually caused a bitter disagreement with a cousin of Dad’s researching the family tree who was basing information on documentation. I had to promise both my parents I would not listen to the cousin’s “lies”. Sadly, he wasn’t the one misrepresenting family history. Dad’s maternal grandfather and his siblings, and his parents were born in Nova Scotia. The DNA test I took supported the documentation — to a point — Guernsey was eliminated from my paternal history and I now have French and German added to Scotland, Ireland, England and, possibly, Wales. Contrary to family speculation, I do not have Indigenous ethnicity — unless my sister has her DNA tested and she does! Why did one build a fairy tale in Scotland ignoring the fact they were several generations in New Brunswick, and the other bury his roots so deeply that he only had one brother when he had multiple siblings? I may never know. The upside is I have several containers (two dr’s bags, at least one metal can, etc.) of the latter’s papers. Maybe buried somewhere in the deeds and documents there is a reason yet to be discovered. While I am enjoying the journey, I very much appreciated my father coming forward, in a very vivid dream, with my very angry mother, to resignedly approve of my plans to continue the research into the families’ histories. Dad was “tired from the journey” to see me, hurt, bewildered and disappointed that his Grandfathers don’t seem to have been peddling facts. Even Dad’s father failed to tell him he had more than two sisters and a nephew (raised as his brother). Dad didn’t know his own older brother’s full name or date of birth/death. In the dream, my Mom said nothing — just banged pots and pans going between the pantry and the stove — she baked, cooked and cleaned when she was angry. (Since I have no brothers, I am using a process of elimination to separate my father’s tree from my mother’s in my DNA relatives. My mother’s heritage has been well documented by one of my cousins.) I have jokingly said if I ever wanted to write fiction, I have lots of grist for the mill just in the details we weren’t told. What has been most enlightening for me is that I have found Dad’s maternal Grandmother’s mother’s family in England. Her father wrote everything in the Family Record in his Bible — except where he was born! He is an enigma. Pristine records for his wife, her parents, her siblings, their date of marriage, the children of the marriage, their marriages and deaths, etc. But his own roots and where he and his wife were married remain hidden. The search will continue as I am living in Dartmouth and have access to Pier 21, the Nova Scotia Archives and the Church of Latter Day Saints Family Search records. The DNA test was just the beginning of this odyssey and I look forward to learning as I go — with as open a mind as I can muster!

    • Colette Baron-Reid
      Reply

      wow that is so interesting! The stories that make us! An Odyssey indeed!

  • mary
    Reply

    Hi Colette – This is a response to “DNA doesn’t lie”. Haven’t read your whole blog but just thought you might like to know. I grew up (since ’52) in the home of the Lawrence Livermore National Research Laboratory who was pioneering DNA testing back in the mid-70’s. 2 friends actually worked in this Bio-research area. Recently when my nephew’s DNA test showed results that couldn’t possibly be true, I inquired with one friend (former PhD physicist) about how this could happen. He informed me that the science is still young, that original markers could be incorrect, and the groupings can be incorrect due to small sample sizes. His wife had a similar non-logical result due to her Norwegian background. Just an fyi……. and, Love your work!

    • Colette Baron-Reid
      Reply

      I know it freaked me out completely. My Mongolian markers were there but less than I expected but there nonetheless. I was like was I adopted lol

  • Tamara Herbst
    Reply

    Dear Colette, our ancestors have such fascinating stories of trials and tribulations, joy and love stories, that we are looking for and hopefully enjoy and appreciate. Wonder if a few generations from now family will do the same, by looking us up, wanting to know us, hope they gain insight and understanding from what they find. To be truthful, today it seems we are surviving and not contributing to our lives, would be interesting to hear what future family sees.
    My mom had health issues , and as time grew nearer, the opportunity to ask her about her life was presented. It was something I had not thought to ask, because she was my mom, and I knew her, I thought. It was a special time to learn about my mom, the young girl, the young wife and mother. Not everything is as you think it is. Assuming can be detrimental.
    Thank you for sharing, blessings to you and your family.

  • Rose
    Reply

    Hi Colette, great story thanks for sharing. DNA is so interesting, I had someone show up as a 4th cousin but neither of us could see the connect. Then after digging a bit deeper I found we were 8th cousin on both sides of the family. Our genetic code holds all DNA from our ancestors but only certain ones are turned on, which makes us uniquely us in this lifetime, hence siblings having such different percentages of ethnicity and sharing more/less or no DNA with other relatives. There is a site called GED MATCH that you can load raw DNA into so you can compare your DNA results with other companies 23me, family tree, Ancestry etc. Also building a family tree in familyserch.org is super helpful when search for relatives and their connect. Looking forward to see what another 10 to 20 years will tell us about our DNA and who we are.

  • debi
    Reply

    Thanks so much for sharing your story Colette! Why do I wanna yell *PLOT TWIST*? *Ü* I had my OWN plot twist, and YOU were a part of it haha. You gave me a reading on Hayhouse a couple years ago and brought through my Dad whom I thought had crossed over. I had everything you said validated by my mom and you were SPOT ON!!! The PLOT TWIST happened when my daughter did a DNA test through Ancestry and accidentally found my Dad… the one whom I though I had passed! I didn’t believe it at first until my *new cousin* who was the connection on Ancestry, told her that yes… My dad was her Uncle! So… long story short, I contacted my Dad… He was living only 40 min. from me in Carmel, and went to see him. We had 13 crazy months of trying to get to know each other before he passed at the age of 86 last month. Because of DNA testing I found all kinds of interesting tidbits of where I came from AND… I now have an amazing biography of my family’s history whom all came from Norway. Now to get to the *assumption* part. I assumed through my entire life (since I was 3… I’m now 64) that my Dad had kidnapped my brother, sister and me and took us out of the country to Hawaii, before Hawaii became a state. Hearing what my new siblings told me (another PLOT TWIST…. AND they grew up in my hometown and went to my high school!) he told them that he was so mad at my mom for divorcing him and remarrying, that when he came to pick us up for a scheduled visit, he didn’t bring us back cuz he was in fear that he’d never see us again. (you told me that he didn’t see it as kidnapping. Another validation!) Ironically, after he passed, my new sister found 71 home movies he took of his life, and in amongst them was one of my siblings and me with him and my mom in 1958 at DISNEYLAND!!! Crazy, huh??? (I wonder if that’s why I’ve always loved Disneyland? Such a happy time with him and my mom) 7 months later is when he took us and that was the last time I saw him. Anyway, I’m really working on not making assumptions! (but it’s soooo hard!) Anyway… sorry for the rambling… Really did enjoy your story! Thanks so much for being you! :3

    • Colette Baron-Reid
      Reply

      you know what is so interesting, sometimes I can connect with someone who we think has crossed but is still alive and its weirdly like mind reading, or reading their akashic records. What a wonderful story !!!

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