Reclaiming Your Power When You Feel Like Life’s Out of Control!

Updated: April 20, 2020




Are you feeling frayed around the edges, like you’re not sure how much longer you can hold it all together? 

If so, you’re not alone!

A lot of us are starting to feel like we’re nearing the end of our rope. I mean, this has been going on for a long time now! The daily anxiety, the death counts, the news — it just seems to go on and on. 

Even those of us who started out really strong (or maybe just in denial!), and we thought, “This will be over soon…” Well, “soon” has come and gone and here we still are! Depending where you are in the world, you may not even have passed the peak yet, and you may be wondering how much more you can take.

The news wants to feed the Fear Virus and paint a picture of doom and gloom, and we have to counter it with signs of hope. Yes, there is devastation around us — I don’t want to ignore or downplay that. But I also want to remind you that there is a pattern here. And as hard as it is to believe, this too shall pass. 

Our job is to stay focused on what we can control and stay in alignment. We need to stay physically healthy for ourselves and our families, and maybe even more importantly, stay spiritually and mentally healthy. 

How we think, feel, and believe impacts our reality.

The reality in front of us is not the reality we are creating- this present condition did not begin now, it began in the past. Yes, We have the ability to respond or react to what is- and also to claim something even better before it happens!. That’s why even when we’re beset with money fears, health fears, financial issues, grief, and so on, the readings I’m doing these days keep saying, “Hey, you have to stay out of victim mentality today.”

And so, when we’re in this emotional hairball of fear and confinement and going a little stir-crazy (okay, maybe a LOT crazy!)… we have to remember that this is not the only reality. There is something that we’re being initiated into, and that transformation can be a little scary. But there is light on the other side. 

The patterns of the Universe tell us that there will come a time of respite, some form of a gift to come, even if we can’t see it right now. 

Think about all the caterpillars that got shoved into their cocoons. We know what’s coming out the other side because we’ve seen it happen before, but the poor caterpillar…! 

She is not having fun. She is not saying, “Oh, yippee, I’m going to become a butterfly!” No! She’s getting super ill inside that dark and confined cocoon. She’s a caterpillar and then a larva then a pupa and she’s losing all the fuzzy protected parts of herself. Parts are dying off while other parts are growing. Ouch!

If you could shine a light into the caterpillar’s psyche, you might be telling her, “Hey, buddy, you don’t have to just sit and eat leaves all day long with your fuzzy friends. Instead, you’re going to have wings. Isn’t that awesome? They’re going to be gorgeous and you’re going to FLY!” 

If you told the caterpillar that, she’d be like, “Are you effing kidding? Just let me go back to my leaf.”

That’s what a lot of us are saying right now! “Let us go back to our leaves! This is way too scary. I want to be a caterpillar again. Please let me go back there.” 

So when you look at it like this, it’s natural that our responses and our reactions in our time of confinement and change is NOT, “Oh, yippee! I’m transforming! Yay!” 

No, a lot of us are not going to be feeling like that. Instead, we’re ready for this time to be over. We even say that, “Okay, shouldn’t this be done by now? I want to get back to life. I need to get back to work, back to normal, or whatever. Screw the transformation, we have families that need tending to and more importantly rent to pay and a future to depend on! But we are powerless over what’s going on in the world. We can’t control when “this” is over any more than the caterpillar can. 

But we have an advantage over the caterpillar. We have a choice of how we want to be. 

We have to remind ourselves that we are discovering meaning. I don’t mean bullshitting yourself and telling yourself you have to be happy, joyous, and free. That’s a bunch of hogwash! This time is hard. But it’s also equally compelling and creative and beautiful and wondrous. We can take this time to consider what changes need to be made when that new normal appears. What kind of world do we want to live in? How do we contribute to that? 

Even in the hard times — especially in the hard times — we have to find meaning. We have to bring ourselves back to what’s in front of us right here and now, in this 24 hours, so we don’t buy into the Fear Virus. We can’t be Chicken Little and believe the sky is falling and everything’s going to crash on everyone and hope for something better at the same time. We can make different choices and remind ourselves of what we can control, our reactions and responses to what is directly in front of us. We can trust and do our part. 

And, at the same time,  we can hold compassionate space for things that we CAN’T control. There are things we are powerless over right now. We have to recognize when we have to surrender to life on life’s terms. We have to humbly surrender to what IS. And while we surrender, we can also foster peace and blessings, for ourselves and for others, even when we don’t feel like it. 

That’s the work: Surrendering to what is while embracing the knowledge that there’s more than what we’re capable of seeing. If I’m going to be the best I can be for other people, I have to be in both places. I have to recognize what’s really going on, and also realize, okay, there is a spiritual solution to maintaining a sense of equilibrium through this. 

I’ve talked before about the Stockdale Paradox. The prisoners of war in the Hanoi Hilton during the Vietnam War all managed to survive and come out the other side because they believed. They held a belief that one day, even if they died, that something beautiful would come. Peace would come. There would be blessings because of what they endured. 

They were powerless to change their outer circumstances, but they still chose their inner response. 

I go back to the Serenity Prayer: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

This is our time to be wise, to recognize that peace is possible, even in the midst of turmoil. When the world appears to be falling apart in front of our faces, we can still have faith that there is something greater going on. And we can ask to be shown our next right action to make a better world. 

Remember that miracles aren’t always obvious to us, and when they do show up, they usually show up out of the blue. Make space for miracles, and don’t put a deadline on them. They’re coming, I promise. 

Showing 31 comments
  • Patty

    Thank you, Colette, for this post! I’ve read many posts but your’s really “hit home” today and very much what I needed to read TODAY. Thank you!

    • Astrid

      Beautiful and perfect timing!!! Blessings

    • Veroshka

      “We have to recognize when we have to surrender to life on life’s terms”. I struggled with this today and experienced a complete emotional meltdown. I completely lost the plot & spun out of orbit with my higher self. After lots of tears and feeling completely zapped of all energy, the message serves as such a powerful reminder – when you fight life’s terms you will lose the war; step back, observe, learn and you will win the battle… thank you for the amazing words today, your encouragement to stand tall & the serenity prayer… I needed the reminder, and to “hear” differently, not with sound but with soul 💗 Thank you so much Colette 💞💞
      Ps. Now am going to bed; nothing like a good night’s sleep to regenerate the batteries of a weary soul 😴😴💗💗

    • Anjali Devi Bhagan

      The serenity prayer is the exact prayer I need to hear and repeat out loud. To stay aligned while maintaining distance so I do my part in peace. Thus, comes the wisdom to know the difference. I get to choose who I want to be in the midst of chaos.
      Goddess blesses thee.

  • Anonymous

    Thanks Colette, as always, for voicing what I am feeling. Your beautiful analogy of the caterpillar just wanting to eat leaves and not knowing about its amazing potential to fly is delightful. The sun is shining today. It is cold but soon this too shall pass. Finding the joy in each moment is the gift. Looking forward to my beautifully coloured wings to unfold. Thank you for articulating so brilliantly what we are all feeling. Virtual hugs.

  • Anonymous

    Beautiful and very timely message Collette – I sure appreciate your gentle but oh so direct way of saying things. Thanks for being you!

  • Anonymous

    The fear virus is the real danger. If we are afraid to die, then we are not living as best we can. This too shall pass. I am an Aries sun and Ascendant, and Mars, so I want things to happen now! But I am going with the flow as that is the best way right now.

  • Linda Weller

    And so it will be. 🙂 Thank you!

  • Ginny

    Thank you again, Colette. Both last week’s and this week’s blog were so very uplifting – a soothing balm on our tired souls. I actually feel such a wonderful relief when I read your words and find perspective in them. It leads me to wonder, since you ARE such a beautiful butterfly, what amazing thing are you going to become next? What comes after the butterfly? Because you are definitely on the way there. Signed, ‘Cocooned but fluttering’.

  • Tracey

    Thank You so much 4 sharing this, as I really needed to read this today , to lift my spirits up! I am a pretty positive woman = the most part & doing my best to get through this!!

  • Robyn

    Thank you thank you thank you Colette!! EXACTLY what I needed to read right now. This shit is hard!!! But something better is coming! And I’m already starting to see transformation in my own life. Thank you for reminding me to stay true and stay present with it all, even the sticky bits.

  • Theresa

    Colette, I love this and the Butterflies.

  • Anonymous

    Thank you today I was feeling really bad and anxious.

  • Meredith

    Thank you, Colette. Your outlook helps to raise my outlook 🙂

  • Catherine

    Man created this; some say it came out of the lab, others the Wuhan wet markets. The bottom line is everything in life has a price. You can’t just do terrible things and not expect karma to come for you. The way those poor animals were treated, I truely believe the collective animal kingdom in spirit had enough. The outcome is they aren’t allowed to eat dogs and cats anymore in China or some of the other wild animals that were being sold. Fortunately, there are a lot of people coming out, using this opportunity to make it about China’s inhumane lack of animal rights! And there will be more viruses to come until man learns to respect and live alongside the animals and nature.
    It’s a positive that with this lockdown will it force people to make changes, some are going to painful (people realising truths about their relationships and jobs/careers).
    As someone whose family is all okay, who doesn’t have a business, and haven’t lost a job. My husband and I have been loved up and in a state of bliss, relaxing and enjoying, being slowed right down. I feel guilty openly expressing it, as obviously it’s impacted others greatly. At the same time, I’m not going to play the victim as I am safe and well. I have absolutely no reason to complain, so I choose gratitude and to be happy instead. Having said this, I’m getting more anxious as in July, I’m moving overseas and being in quarantine while my pets will be released from their quarantine before us is my biggest concern. But I’m positive that spirit has my back. Also, at the end of the day, it’s spirit that has the overview. As much as some psychics I were listening to, tried to say spirit can’t help us. I’m calling BS on that one! Spirit has the overview, they know what the answer is. Man might be powerless but spirit certainly isn’t. I’m sure they are influencing people and helping as much as they can. So try to ignore the media and experts, because they can’t do it all on their own. It will be over soon.

  • Anonymous

    Dear Colette, Thank you for reminding me if Who I can be no matter what obstacle are around. Fear IS our Biggest enemy for darn sure. Im always preaching this, when I hear others falling apart at the Seams of FEAR.
    Believe in Miracles and they will happen. It has happened to me today, and for that I am ever Greatful to our Father in Heaven.
    Amen. Be in the Light, not in the Darkness! We are in this Together!

  • Gail

    Well said Colette. Thank you for your honesty based on what you see or get that we don’t.

  • Anonymous

    Thank you Collette. ‘This too shall pass’. This has been my mantra for the past month! And it shall. Hang in there folks!

  • Anonymous

    Thank you so much Colette
    Your words and directness provide a wonderful support to me, which helps me move through the fear, when it arises.
    Peace and Strength to everyone

  • Shelley

    Dear Colette and All
    I completely resonate with your perspective. This period of self isolation IS hard, sometimes, and sometimes it’s quite peaceful. I do have the belief that something new is being birthed. I have some ideas of what that may be but these are just guesses – I really don’t know. It’s not in my hands to know, but I trust Spirit ( God, Goddess, etc) and I believe that the outcome will be positive if I continue to ask to see/ be shown the highest perspective.
    There is such an outpouring of help, of love , of sharing resources and yes, even empathy to those grieving. I see the world more and more aware that we are in this together, that we have such immense power in unity. I mean, look at the 99 yr old military veteran who raised literally millions of dollars to assist healthcare just by walking around his yard?! And the wonderful online Global concert which took place on the past weekend?! How cool was that?!
    I am choosing to focus on the good right now, and I see it everywhere. I particularly want to thank you and your team, Colette, for YOUR collective generosity with connecting with us daily in your 11:11 FB lives. These are an extraordinary act of love and generosity, and I appreciate this offering very deeply.
    Peace and gratitude to all.

    • Colette Baron-Reid

      awwwwwwwww happy you come !! and yes the concert was awesome

      • Kath

        Hi Colette,
        Thank you, as always, for a beautiful post. I love the analogy of the month to butterfly, as I too feel that, at the end of the day, we will see the many ways our world has been changed for the positive. In fact, I would love to share this to social.
        The struggle I’m currently having though is I think that perhaps some, in not wanting to feed the fear, are continuing to socialize in unhealthy ways, potentially risking both themselves and others. I do think there is a fine line between acting responsibly and consistently, vs acting and living from fear. Do you agree?

  • Laurie B Jones

    Hi Colette! Thanks for getting me back on the blog! For weeks I have picked the Between Worlds card (#2) this week- or the Leo card in reverse-etc. so I now laugh that I CAN”T GET OUT! Hello Hecate!! Pick her too! I have been here a year for several different reasons-new challenges with different people-a pain forum! Basically, I am just tired of sh&t! Deserve to be treated better! What a great reading for this week-I am BLESSED and grateful for this-STILL Between Worlds-Yang baby-New Life-Yin to receive it and Community-maybe.heehee. I need a new community. How did you get Yin/Yang eclipsing New Life?? You are card Maestro! Can’t wait to see what that will bring! Love you!

  • Vida

    Last night I was walking with my dog, Josephine and I saw this flickering light on the ground in front of me. I was so excited!! Yes. The first firefly of the season flickering his light for his mate!! I wonder if he saw me flickering with joy!! Such hope❤️ From Baton Rouge, LA

  • Wendy

    We’re all equal and in this together. Thankyou. Much love.

  • Ellen M Santistevan

    I’m so glad you posted this today. I have been mostly fine but after a month of no work, and no help yet, I started to feel moments of terror. Like the caterpillar, I have no idea what is going to come out of this — what kind of changes will manifest. I hope to be able to trust more in my own evolution.

  • Karen Dickson

    Thank you so much Colette! You always say things so beautifully. You are an Angel. 🥰💜

  • Kathryn

    First time I’ve listened to the weekly reading at the end of the week. It is so true for what has transpired for me this past week. Time to pick up the phone & jump in! Thank you for all you do for us!

  • Anonymous

    Bonjour Colette, i just wanted to write to you to say THANK YOU. I do hope you get this thank you as this is a personal message to you directly. I could not find any other way to send a message to you so hoping this makes it to your hears xxo
    I have a few of your decks and this week i have been feeling out of sink. So, I used the WISDOM of the Hidden Realms deck to get answers.
    ‘ Why am i so confused/uncomfortable/anxious’ and funny enough i got #39 The Altar Priestess in the Challenger position – ironic as this is the cover of the box but it did speak to me.
    I have then asked ‘AND THEN WHAT’ and got #40 The Fire Prince in the Ally position.
    All to say i now know what i have to do to find peace again. It will be lot’s of work and challenging but spirit with be with me and guide me to bring everything to fruition and make me a better version of myself and be able to share my gifts. Outch… i have said it…, i have written it to you…
    NAMASTE Colette!!!!!!!!

    Spirit i am listening. Please be my guide to bring everything to fruition as it is meant to be. I am opening to the possibilities, allowing the boundaries to fall. Que sera cera – what ever will be will be
    NAMASTE to Spirit

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