6 Steps to Find Hope in a Hairball!!

Updated: June 8, 2020

I’ve been struggling with what to say as of late because there is so much going on in the world. Often, I feel like I’m trapped in a giant hairball of my personal emotions and the swirling assaulting energy of the collective I tune into as an empath. 

I wonder if it’s the same for you? Do you feel it? Does it help galvanize your desire to be part of the wave of change and social healing that is calling us awake? 

Maybe it moved. Too much, too little, rapid relentless movement and frozen all at the same time, stuck in that hairball that is now rolling down a giant hill like a wild tumbleweed gathering the best and worst of everything in its path. Maybe mine might get caught in a hole so I can get centered. 

Nope. Not gonna happen. The center has to be found on the fly, and on the roll. Dizzying to look at, but all of it is meaningful. 

I have been zeroing in on one particular thread in the ball though…that one is hope. I hold on, albeit not too tightly, lest its fragile fraying slender form snaps in my grasp. I close my ego’s eyes and allow my soul to guide me into the heart of it, where it will never break, where it’s woken up like a string in a harp, already reverberating in the key of F — the sound that wakes the energy of the heart. 

I find listening to the prompts of the heart reduces fear and anxiety swiftly. It also brings in a deep reminder of our humanity and our inherent connectivity to a Higher Power that ushers in a true sense of conscience. It’s the heart that knows the grace of stepping in and standing up. 

So, I am going to share with you some tips on what has worked for me. What I am doing now so I can show up daily without getting lost, with the hopes that it might give you some of your own ideas of what might work for you. 


Step One: Stay in 24 Hours. I know as an empath the first order of the day is to shrink everything into 24 hours. Turn that giant hairball/tumbleweed monster into something that can fit in the palm of our hands. I learned this trick many years ago and it made the impossible seem less overwhelming. 

Step Two: Repeat the Mantra “You Can Do it!” over and over again. Everything is possible when you open your connection to the Universe and most importantly to your heart. The BEST part of all this is you can 100% be a participant in these historic changes. 

Step Three: Accept this important challenge for what it is. You can handle it. 

Step Four: Remember to take one step at a time. Even a micro-step is good. Clean that inner chamber of conditioning! And, remember you are not equipped to solve all this alone or in one day. Also, stay awake. It’s not a dream that will go away when we “get back to normal”. This is the new normal. It is forever in front of you. 

Step Five: Compassion, compassion, compassion. Big changes in society all come from protest. And, (this and that is true) everyone has been stuck inside for so long on top of this, many people feel a whole lot of FEELINGS they want to SHARE. Nobody knows how to do this. 

Step Six: Keep your eye on the prize and your foot on the gas. Contribute and educate yourself. A better world awaits. 


Isn’t that why we’re here? 


Love to all,

Showing 39 comments
  • Lisa Bousson

    Colette, you’ve hit the nail on the head. Too many close losses in a short period of time with a few more making their transition, the hatred I’m seeing not only throughout the world but more closely my own family, the corruption, violence, and greed… This empath is on overload and grasping that thread for dear life.

    Thank you for your unending guidance and support. 💗

    • Mackie

      The only thing I take issue is with the phrase “This is the new normal.” I cringed when I first heard that months ago and I still have a viseral reaction to it today. What in our world that’s going on is NEW, NORMAL or FOREVER??? There’s been pandemics, protests, lootings, riots and crummy leadership before (Hitler, Stalin, Lenin, Mussolini) and none of it’s lasted forever because we’re here today on the good graces of changing things – especially the undesirable things. My wish is that expression would vanish completely. I actually consulted the Wisdom of the Oracle cards asking what I needed to know right now concerning that very issue for me. Guess what came up? I got lucky #27 EXHANGE GIFTS. I smiled and could’t wait to revisit what that card had to do with my inquiry (because of course the cards are always spot on.) In a nutshell it said, “My desires are effortlessly, fufilled now and to find joy in the present moment, whatever is happening, and be satisfied with things as they are. That I have chosen happiness over yearning for it because none of this is because of something outside of myself. Happiness is being one with spirit’s plan for life. The tide is in for now. Enjoy the playful splashing in it.” So guess what? The cards spoke the truth for me because I’ve been making the choice to really use this safer-at-home-time-we’re-all-in to get ahead on things I REALLY WANNA DO and it’s been wonderful. YES! I still care whats going on in the world but I’m not being driven off the road because of it. Life goes on folks no matter whats going on. For me I want to navigate my course better through it all smartly and safely and gain from this expereince rather be a victim of it.

      • Colette Baron-Reid

        I love this.. not being driven off the road – exactly! the terrain may have changed and may be so for a while but it must not derail you.

      • Carrie

        I agree. We are in a transitionary and transformational period of time. I do not see it as “normal” either. The media created the phrase “the new normal.” They are doing a disservice to people, especially on a subconscious level. First of all, this phrase was created in response to a virus that no one can with certainty can say that it will continue to exist, therefore it is not creating anything “normal.” It would be more responsible of the media to say “This is a temporary situation which none of us knows how long this might last, therefore we must adapt however best we can” would be more truthful. Fortunately there are many reasons to be hopeful that there will be new positive changes, due to the worldwide effort to look at every possible treatment and solution. I see that as a positive in regards to the whole world working together.

        • Colette Baron-Reid

          ya I agree with you .. this is a temporary situation, and to perceive it otherwise does us all a disservice. I know hope is real about all this too. This too shall pass.

  • Val

    Thank you for sharing! I am also an Empath; quite weighed down by all the energies converging at the same time.
    Meditation and Mindfulness
    have been a saving Grace.
    Thank you.

    • Bernadette Flanagan

      Will I ever get my grandchildren

  • Marie

    Thank You . Beautiful words full of wisdon.

  • Shelley

    Hi Colette and all
    Yes! These changes are LONG due, and I am in 100% to do whatever is needed within my sphere of influence and beyond. Also, I trust that I will be clearly told what to do as needed. My action for the moment is to ensure that I am spiritually fit to serve.
    Thank you for holding the beautiful space you hold here which helps so many of us remain encouraged.
    With love,

  • Dawn Storey-Schaeffer

    Great authentic and real advice. Sometimes I feel paralyzed by events in the world and the people affected. Unable to get focused, staying in for 24 hours, meditating ,reflecting on my, thoughts really works for me.

  • Ginger P

    Perfect for today, as you said yesterday, take care of self, stay out of your head and obsessing over things. It hit me when I read this as an extreme empath and my wide open heart I have wanted to help everyone and can feel the world’s fear and anxiety. I took that on and it has dried me out. Great wisdom this morning. I am grateful.

  • Anonymous

    Thank you Colette for the advice and encouraging words.

  • Barbara Arbster

    Thank you for these steps … much love 💕

  • Conni Kremer

    Love the helpful tips and the hairball metaphor- “gathering the best and worst of everything in it’s path”! Yes, it certainly has been and is a wild ride. While I still have days where I feel like I’m in a fog of depression (and have had to remind myself that not all of it is mine), I’m grateful that on most days I feel Hope and Faith. Now, more than ever it is very helpful to be adaptable and flexible. We’ve been training for this powerful time our whole lives. Colette-you’ll never know how helpful the daily Woos have been. Thank you for “being there” for all of us. 💚💜💙

  • Mary Jane

    Thank you very much for that. I was feeling very overwhelmed . I think I am an empath and I am finding listening to the news is overwhelming. I live alone so not much other communication.

  • Andrea

    Thank you so much. 🤗💐

  • Lisa

    Bless you Colette for courageously moving forward. It is leading by example that actually inspires others. You continue to authentically contribute to dealing with the current circumstances by showing up as a teacher and a mentor for many. Sometimes you tell us that you don’t know the big answers (which makes it ok for others to admit they don’t know either) and then you offer an idea which could help us should we choose to implement the idea in the 24 hours we are in. It is a great thing to be shown how to live at ‘possibility junction’ and imagine the good that will surely be born. Thank you .. two wee words that are seemingly small but must suffice. xox

  • Ingmarie

    Is this why I felt so low in energy the last 2 weeks? I only do what I need to do and hardly even that. When weather is warm and sunny I feel better but I really have to push myself forward to get anything done. I am in a good mood but very low in energy right now. 🙏❤🥰

  • julie bell

    Ms Colette.
    First, thank you, yet again and always for opening up this messy multi-logue.

    For many days, have felt “nothing”. guess i just shut it all down and turned it off because it was too much, way too much for whoever I am – to handle. can’t just walk around crying all the time and not because i’m feeling sorry for myself – which is what most think.

    it’s not just one thing, it’s too many things. “hairball” is a great description.

    feels like global grief inside my personal “hairball” stuck in my throat that i can’t cough up.

    because it is everywhere, all at once, it’s like all 7 stages of this grief exist around us simultaneously and it is overwhelming. we’re not all in same stage of grief at the same time but we’re feeling everyone else’s as well as dealing with our own.

    i tuned into yesterdays spirit jam, but wasn’t really present at the time. same with the end of last weeks 11:11 because i felt too much from all of us there who are real and open and feeling it all. today i just let the flood gates open and let it out and let it in.

    yes, thank you. 24 hours. that’s all i need to start with and look at. focus. i needed the reminder that i CAN manage this. that i AM excited to be in this moment in the world and that i can DO something to help us all, starting with EDUCATING myself. one step at a time. not everything all at once.

    i’ve been walking through life for a long time letting only a small percentage of my emotions show. this is being “strong”, right?

    i don’t know exactly how i happened upon you. and i know you don’t do what you do for the praise or attention. out of all of the possibilities for guidance and learning that are available, you are the one who arrived.

    because you are not on a pedestal and out of reach. because you actually want connection of & to Spirit to grow in this world. because you make this possibility accessible to those who want to know how to “grow” this, i have to honor my own sense of gratitude and love, and that is all I’m doing when i say “thank you”.

    i feel intensely. i love passionately. i freak most people out. they don’t get that my feelings are pure. consequently, i have a lot of animals in my life 🙂 this is where i am coming from. and because i am able to be a part of a couple of the communities that have grown as a result of your own very real love and light, i now know that i am not the only one who feels this way. having your insights about how we can manage our overwhelming feelings in this “hairball” is like being given a burst of oxygen when all the air feels weighted down with pollution and we can’t get a deep breath.

    thank you for helping us all and for showing us ways we can help

  • Kathryn

    So true in what you wrote. I am becoming overwhelmed & need to take a step back. I read one article a day now so as not to overwhelm myself. I listen to the reactions of others & now I have a different response from listening to other facets of the diamond. This is a time of history when things change but harboring white racism is not going to be an easy road. At least it is a road that is more opened than ever to dialogue. This is where we all need to meet at the intersection to discuss, to open & to move forward in our different directions but now understanding what love & oneness can achieve more than ever.
    Thank you for being here for us!

  • Anonymous

    Such wise words . Feel the same . Thank you for putting in words .
    Feeling optimistic for the future .

  • Susan

    Your six steps are going to help me enormously Colette ❤ working on the frontline I see suffering daily with this horrible virus and the racism and rioting worldwide I feel so weighed down.
    Step one
    Stay in 24 hours
    Bless you Colette for being here for us

  • Veroshka

    Hi Colette
    Thank you for sharing your experience, hopes and guidance with us. I too feel weighed down with so much happening globally & also that of closer to home. 24 hours at a time & the song, “God teach me to take one step at a time” is a daily motto for me in this chaos. New friendships are borne whilst others are lost. In all this confusion & chaos there is such a deep emotion coming to life, one of hope, compassion, love and strength!
    Thank you 💗

  • Anonymous

    Hi Colette.
    This piece of information is imperative for many who loose the courage to observe the inner ability and the capability to focus meaningful agenda of their lives. In fact nothing else i can give you in return other than appreciating the great support and the encouragement you have provided here.
    A good idea how-far its short can change the live of many people who are discouraged and live a life compounded by worries.
    thank you

  • Sunny Lee

    Thank you Colette as always for your words of wisdom, and also for sharing your struggles and hope with us while we are finding our way together in this beautiful, safe community.
    Shelley, I needed to be reminded of what you wrote, “My action… is to ensure that I am spiritually fit to serve.” along with trusting that “I will be clearly told what to do as needed.”

    Sunny ☀️

  • Anonymous

    Thank you Colette for your guidance and inspirational messages! You are truly a weaver of dreams co-creating with spirit to guide me on my spiritual journey. Staying in the day and connecting with my Higher Power, I am ready for the adventures unfolding while I tend my garden, discarding the weeds and planting the new seeds! Gentle Gardener is the oracle card for this weeks reading for Leo. Message received!!💞🌠

  • Vera

    Thanks Colette, I too go inside and go to that place that I know inside of myself that is familiar and feels safe, totally away from the outside world in my own little cave and there I find strength and feel the trust and faith that ALL will be Okay, that Love will be the unifying force that will touch us all and make us feel who we really are again. Big xoxo to you.

  • Anne Morin

    Thank you Colette,

    As always your words are calming to my agitated mind.
    I wish I could see again , just one more time the two men that told me , years apart that I was an empath and that why I feel often overwhelm.
    My ” guide ‘ here in Quebec was Guy Caron. A shaman who hot is ‘ gift ‘ from his father.
    I loved Guy and Guy loved everybody.
    Anyway, I miss him

    Much love to you and you family.

  • Vickie Williams

    I have been feeling like I am suffocating in a giant ball of clear plastic. Watching everything unfold in front of me and wanting to run or fix it. Lately anger has been building up and I do not need that. As an empath this has been so difficult. Not sleeping, feeling like crap. I have been going to a park ever day just to be outside among nature. Not sure what else to do but pray and hold on.

  • Diana Davis

    Bless you dear Colette. You are doing a herculean job helping all of your students to stay focus on the positive thoughts and emotions. Taking each day with the Serenity Prayer and living it. I find myself saying it often sence all of the unrest, and sickness across the world. I have a crystal grid set up for the healing of the world and also of humanity. I burn candles while I pray.
    It will be a while before all of the caos will calm down and there is peace. I say breathe deeply and release all that is not working for you.
    I love you dear friend. Hugs to all.
    Diana Davis

  • Sharon Lynch

    Thank you for helping me keep my sanity (mostly!). My awakening came suddenly at the beginning of the Covid panic. Finding you through a long lost friend who has been on this path for many years has been a huge blessing. I am trying my best but wow! There are so many things coming at me at once! Everyone be strong, we can do this!

  • Lisa Rose

    Thank you for this. I learn from you every week. With love x

  • Sandra Duckworth

    These are difficult extremely emotional times. One minute I’m soon and gloom overwhelmed with shadow and pain then flooded with gratitude and immense love. Your continued support is very important and invaluable to me Colette. I thank and bless you xx

  • julie

    Hi! uh… just re-read what I wrote and i see that i went a little to the way-side… apologies. it was a strange day… yikes! i 😮😲😬don’t share like this anywhere else, and never have before so maybe i get a little eager since it feels so ok to do in this group. aaaanywaaaay, thank you for your understanding 💜

  • Jenny Silva

    This is exactly what I have been focusing on and you put words to it. I always try to remember, in my microcosm in the physical, my energy work can help the collective as we are all part of the same light. When I project growth, love, understanding in my small world it then permeates to all in the collective energy. I fill myself with love and blast it out – even if I’m not using my words.

    Thank you Colette for holding this space. With big love, Jenny Silva

  • Barbara Stewart

    Thank you, Colette, for helping me stay on the road! I go from elated, grounded, and resolute to be the example of spirit, to the depths of anxiety and fear, all in a breath. I’m always asking myself why I am feeling such extremes. All is well with my immediate world but the ground is quivering beneath me. I know the changes to our world and our society are much needed and divinely guided for the greater good, but…
    Thank you for sharing your humanness. It is comforting to know that even you have those moments that shake you to the core!
    Much love to you!

  • Renee Sugar

    Thank you Colette as always for shining some light through the darkness. I resonated to what you wrote.
    An interesting translation of the chinese word for ‘crisis ‘ is dangerous/opportunity. The current global health pandemic is an opportunity to restructure, to create a new and more intelligent foundation for outmoded practices in health care. For every industry to align themselves and practice the guidelines that keep all of us safe and healthy.
    This time apart is an opportunity to take stock, reflect, imagine what possibilities are desired. As many of us were called home, to navigate through this time of crisis. I was laid off from a professional commitment which lasted 3 1/4
    years. I recall the feeling of shock when I received the call that delivered the news that the business was closing.
    As we were struggling before the tidal wave of this pandemic presented itself , it meant that there was no certainty the business would survive. So jobless I came home and from the very first day I made a decision to make the time an opportunity to consider other options. Even with so much confusion being bombarded with microscopic analyses of minute by minute changes in the development of how the system was coping with the influx of cases is enough to make the most grounded, intelligent person want to run. Where to run? It was intense, and very emotional, frightening, and definitely ‘not normal.’ In order to find a place of peace and sanity, I turned to the creative practices that I usually had very limited time to enjoy. In the first two months I painted 6 works, the most difficult and detailed ever before attempted. I learned and still continue to learn the musical work of a Canadian composer whose style I love. I cleaned everywhere, ripped up piles of old paper, released what wasn’t needed, began to reconnect with family and friends that I wasn’t in touch with too often. For the first time as it was necessary to have wi-fi installed in my home. Believe it or not as I live next store to a public library, access to desk top computers was always a service I could rely on. The public libraries closed at the beginning of March break. Having my own space even with limited square footage, was the place where I could grieve my losses, and begin to take a look at my life. What was my heart needing? As most of us are accustomed to our lives, the schedules, commitments, and stresses that are an integral part of the day to day, being forced to return home was not easy at first, but as the minutiae of the ongoing reports were limited to a minimum each day I began to relax a little more and arrived at a more comfortable, place to rest. Fortunately I do have everything I need and can even leave to visit a store, which has been so exciting!! Yes all of the amenities and conveniences that I never imagined would be inaccessible, are being restored, reopened in a carefully thoughtful way and timing. I was tuned in to listening to the radio because it kept me informed and aware of other people who were struggling and how they were they coping. Listen and Learn. Still not certain if the business where I worked will reopen, but am hopeful that ” All is well, everything is unfolding exactly as it should, out of this situation only good will come. We are safe.” Louise L. Hay

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