Who’s REALLY in Charge?!

Updated: October 12, 2020

The other day, I woke up early and took my coffee out to our deck where I could just sit in silence with my dogs, letting emotions and thoughts wash over me. Lately, I’ve found myself pulled in different directions at once, and the tension has left me a bit (okay, a lot!) overwhelmed at times with so much going on around us. 

I see the challenges of the larger world we live in — the pain, the struggles, the imperfections — and part of me gets sucked into grief and sadness. But at the same time, I see the beauty that surrounds us: People standing up for each other and using their voices to lift each other up, the natural artistry of the changing seasons, and the Divine love that weaves through and connects us all, from the largest mountain to the smallest blade of grass or speck of pollen. It’s all connected, yet we seem so separate at times!   

A lot of my own personal journey has involved coming to terms (slowly!) that multiple contradictory things can be true at once. 

I can be hurting for our world… AND I can savor a latte on the back deck as I watch the birds in flight above me. 

I can feel injustice deeply… AND I can live in a space of hope and change. 

I can own my power as co-creator… AND I can accept that I am not always in charge!

Whew, that’s a lot to take in first thing in the morning, right? (Maybe I need a second cup of coffee!)

The past months have brought up a hugely important question: If I am a co-creator of my reality, why is so much going on that I don’t control? 

The answer is that we live on multiple levels at once. Yes, we have sovereignty over ourselves — what we think, what actions we take, how we interact with the world around us. But at the same time, there’s a larger universe that we’re part of, one that we impact but we don’t control. Things happen that we haven’t predicted and that we may not, in our limited view, even want. (Pandemic and social injustice for $500, Alex!) We wonder how these things can be part of the “highest good” for anyone… yet they’re what we’re going through as a collective right now. 

We’re like a ten-year-old who doesn’t get to choose the game the kids are playing at recess, so stomp off in a huff and say, “Fine, if I don’t get to be boss, I’m taking my ball and going home!” If we can’t control EVERYTHING, we’re not gonna play! As a result, we can start thinking that what we do has little or no impact on the larger story that’s unfolding around us.

But just because we can’t simply “mantra” the tough times away or wave a magic wand and see the obstacles dissolve, doesn’t mean that what we think, do, and believe has no effect. Just because we don’t control EVERYTHING doesn’t mean we can’t control ANYTHING. (See how dangerous all or nothing thinking can be?)

What it comes down to is what we believe about our relationship to our Higher Power and Divine will. 

What I’ve learned (after years and years of practice and work!), is that I have to know what’s my part to do and what is Spirit’s. I have to surrender my willfulness. I must focus on taking the next right action that is in my power and pray to be of service. I must hold my desire, yes, but loosely. I cannot be so focused on what I want that I lose sight of the larger picture. When I can do all this, that’s when life begins to unfold much more gently and easily. 

Virtually every spiritual practice asks the individual to let go of the self in order to become part of a larger collective whole. We are asked to release focus on ME to instead become part of WE. In doing so, the individual sees how all things are connected, one, interdependent. At the same time, though, the individual recognizes the unique role he or she plays in the larger collective. We are all needed and celebrated. Our small self can decide, choose, and act, but ultimately it’s in service of the Whole. 

As I journey further in my life, I see this truth more and more. When I look back on the adventures I’ve had, nothing that has occurred in my life has been according to any of my specific “here is exactly what I want” plans. Not one thing! The exact form was never the point, as I have experienced so much more than my limited thinking ( although you do have to start somewhere!). From my music career to my husband to where I live, it’s all been guided by a much wiser, loving hand that saw the big picture when I only saw the blurry dots right in front of my nose. Yes, I played a critical part in the journey, but if it had all been up to me, my life would have been much more limited and a lot less interesting! 

What I know for sure now is that when I lock onto one outcome like a heat-seeking missile, I miss the gifts and blessings intended for me. But when I focus loosely on an outcome and take step after step in faith, miracles happen. 

If you’re feeling like your efforts don’t matter right now, hear this: You are needed. Your gifts, your talents, the unique expression of the Divine that can only exist through you — we need all of it! Sing your song, and sing it loudly. Otherwise, the symphony of life will be missing the miracle that is YOU. 

Sending you love, peace, and hope… 


Showing 56 comments
  • Diane

    Beautifully said! It reminds me of being ‘in the world not of the world.’ I see the pain and send love and compassion. If I come to be with you and personally experience your pain, I am no longer able to lift you up.

    • Anonymous

      I was feeling the internal fatigue of both/and yesterday, and pulled Dove Spirit (upright) and Dolphin Spirit (in protection) as compass points. Dove: the reminder that peace lives eternally within; Dolphin the call to courage to remain flexible and *play* within the possibilities of “both/and” realities. I feel like our private thoughts, actions, intentions are most important, most called-for precisely when the outer world seems like it’s spinning out of control. Butterfly wings on one side of the world, changing weather patterns on the other side of the world — that sort of thing (only, our butterfly *kisses* are the harbingers of a world that works for EVERYONE!) I love Paramahansa Yogananda’s prayer to the Universe: “I will reason, I will will, and I will act. But guide Thou [Spirit] my reason, will, and activity to the right things I should do.”

      • Linda Pagenkopf


    • Linda Fighera

      That’s so sweet of you Colette! Thank you for tying to lift us up. That in itself is a great contribution to changing the world. Stay safe!

    • Roxie

      Thank you Colette for your timely words. It’s one thing to recognise where we are but means so much more when it’s expressed by another 💜

  • Kathryn

    Great blog! I know for me immersing myself into a new idea of who I am & want to be has opened me to being more flexible & loose rather than willful. I’ll leave the “how it will turn out” to the conscious Universe. We both have our roles to play for the highest good of all. Thank you Colette!

    • Jody Neff

      Absolutely beautiful. Thank you so much for this!!

  • Kathy

    This is exactly how I’ve been feeling lately, although you put it so eloquently.

    • Vicki B

      Thank you, Colette. Wisdom, wisdom, wisdom.. Thank you!

      • Tammy

        That’s exactly how I’ve been feeling lately since my dog 🐶 passed away two weeks ago 😢😢It’s very heartbreaking no I do see the messages that Jade’s taught me to open my heart up.💗I have lots of love 💜 to give. She left footprints on my heart and will remain a part of who I am now. Love.

  • Lori Barton

    Thanks Colette. You write so well.
    Happy Thanksgiving!
    Lori 🙂

  • Valerie

    Wow I really really needed this!!! I do the same thing as you … sit with coffee and my 2 dogs and soak up the peace and beauty around me but stress over the state of our country/world.

    • Tessa

      Thank you.
      I so needed to hear this today……

    • Suzie Mapp

      Thankyou Colette you have answered the question “if we are co- creators why Are things going on spinning out of control”
      This question has burned inside of me.
      A beautiful inspiring Blog full of hope and Love❤🦋❤

  • Tia

    Luv u darling …I need u

  • Michele S

    Thanks Colette! I really needed to hear this message today. Bless you!!!

  • Anne Barma Morin

    Hello Colette,

    Great blog. I love your words, ideas.
    Thank you

    AnneBarma Morin

  • Rosann

    Thank you Colette! I needed to hear that ❤

  • Anonymous

    Dear Colette, Thank you for your much needed wisdom, advice and reassurance….. We walk an everlasting road of intuition and confusion. I have no map, I only have what is left which is that I am here to be part of the light bringers. The journey has been darkened so many times by negative human behaviours; such un-kindess and deliberate cruelties are beyond my emotional intelligence. But alongside the pain, grief and despair lives a life before me, ongoing, never failing to remind our hearts that love (for my trees, feline family, my daughter) is the only food we have to sustain this intuitive journey. Go safely, Angela xxx

    • Melanie

      I identify completely with your words Colette. I wonder when all us loving souls, yearning for peace, reaching out with love and compassion, will tip the balance and the healing will be visible, whilst the hurt and destruction fade. Love and hope to everyone.

  • Francine

    Right on Sister 👍😘…I think we’re all alchemizing our feelings for the ascension of the collective and this kind of thinking helps me going forward in life right now. Staying in the present, breathing and smiling are what I’m focusing on every time I feel overwhelmed, confused, sad, etc. At the end of the day I’m always counting my blessings that All Is Well and that we are all being guided by the Universe, God, the Angelic Reals, our Guides, etc. We are loved, honoured and we are doing IT! ♥️🇨🇦
    I love you 🥰

  • Anonymous

    Thank you….. That was beautiful and needed !

  • Sae

    Beautiful Every words sinking in.. 💜

  • Susan Henderson

    Beautiful and inspiring message, Colette. Perfect timing for what I needed to read this morning. Thank you.

  • Anonymous

    This is beautiful and just what I needed right now, Thank You Collette!

  • Anonymous

    Thank you!

  • Nancy

    Love You 😍 So needed to hear this today. Thank you.

  • Chloe Thonney

    Good morning Colette,
    Thank you, thank you, thank you for these words. I was ruminating over coffee just now feeling the overwhelm of my next move (actual move), attempting to let go of the need for control of it all and I read your words. How sweet and beautiful to be reminded that my dear partner, Spirit has my back, has my hand and will walk with me the magic of my journey. That there is a huge picture that I am part of, that I want to be part of, that I forget that I am part of. I love finding Spirit’s hand by my side, I feel so loved and the overwhelm melts away. And I love the freedom of joining others in the bigger picture, co-create our new lives with Spirit.

  • Mardie

    Colette😊🌷 The wisdom and insights you share with us are as equally impressive as the effective manner in which you communicate these concepts to us. I have heard you say that you love to teach. But I can’t help but think that your life purpose transcends oracle cards school and the like. You can be a voice of reason and calm and hope for so many. It seems like you could be leading and guiding and comforting and keeping so many people going on an even higher level. I want to recognize what an important contribution you are making to the community at large. Thank you for your gracious generosity. Blessings 🌸🙏🌸 to you 😊💖‼️

  • Jo Ellen Newman

    Thank you for sharing those beautifully inspiring, early morning coffee thoughts. I needed to hear them today. It was a reminder for me to loosen my reins on things too. Your cards are the voice of Spirit to me and they always give me goosebumps. I am so grateful that you were born to compose words and thoughts in just the right way that connect, empower and help me/us unfold in a gentler, healthier way as I journey this deep, beautiful mystery of life. I am forever grateful for this experience.

  • Stephanie

    I needed this! I feel that I feel and hear such wisdom in the morning (as long as I’m in my energetic space), and just as I feel secure, free and even accepting of my choices, a part of me flips out and puts on the breaks. I awoke feeling so discouraged, today.

  • Susan

    As I sit with my coffee and my thoughts this morning, and wonder, what is the block? Why do I find so many things to do, instead of create content for my website? I read this. Encouragement from the ethers..thank you.

  • Debbie Childress

    Thank you for this. I needed to hear this today❤️

  • Anonymous

    Being Transparent….Thank you for sharing! I learned long ago that even if I didn’t want to share, sometimes I needed to share. Sometimes I needed to just sit and listen. Somehow, I always got what I needed. And who knows? Maybe I helped someone a long the way… Enjoy your beautiful view of nature from your deck Colette! “Live & Let Live” and “Don’t forget the Java!” 🙂 JB

  • Anonymous

    Thank you Colette for this heart warming blog.
    Happy Thanksgiving
    Much blessings

  • Edith

    Wonderful words of wisdom! I am reminded of the words of my favorite person, the late Wayne Dyer, who said to ask “how may I serve”? He was all about letting go of our ego! Blessings to you!

  • Marcella O'Brien

    Beautiful Colette, Thank you 🥰

  • Anonymous

    Thank you so much for sharing… I am struggling with my sadness…letting it go. Strange that ever since my beloved Jack (furbaby) went home in January, I have flowing tears that come at will, anytime, anywhere… Your words are so true today. Have a blessed day

  • ATG

    I very much appreciate this wisdom Colette. The ME and WE dilemma, and finding balance between surrender vs co-create are so challenging, especially today. As you say, the HOW is not up to us…only the choice. So grateful for your words. Thank you ❤

  • Joyce

    Thank you so much for sharing.
    Very powerful 💜💫💙

  • Sandra

    Great blog. Sometimes its good to know that I’m not the only one struggling. I’m always trying to go with the flow and offer no resistance to what’s happening in my life. Thanks for your kind words and encouragement.

  • Shelley

    Wow. I’ve been thinking of this especially this last week. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and support. Your work is reaching and helping so many!

  • Renee Sugar

    Such a thought inspiring blog. Thank you Colette.
    So much ‘under construction’ thinking occurring at
    this transformational time in our lives. Old paradigms breaking down,
    new visions emerging in their place. Time for reflection, self-assessment,
    consciousness. So much to understand. It can feel overwhelming how
    all encompassing this shift is. We are being prepared to release our attachments
    to the rear-view mirror version. We are being called to replace the values that
    don’t serve our health/well-being. Every time we change our mind, it has an impact on others.
    Each thought alters the neuro-circuitry in our brains. It is truly astonishing how much
    power we have to participate in this transformation. Everyone is included, and needed
    right now to step up and to respond. There is so much evidence and hope for transformation.
    “Don’t look back, because you aren’t going that way”
    Wishing you , Marc and your furry family many blessings for Thanksgiving.

  • Susan McLeod

    Thank you, Colette, very timely words I needed to read. I’ve been focussing on the troubled areas in the world, especially war zones and feeling pretty powerless. But reflecting on your words about us all being connected I wonder if I heal the inner battles with myself could that possibly help transform the external warring energy? Wouldn’t that be great, it would mean that we’re not powerless at all!

  • Anonymous

    Exactly Colette! Go with the flow and do my part, while holding loosely unto my desires and the world. Trust in Spirit, but do the flow too…

  • Heather Cowap

    Perfectly said – after all the greater whole that is going on is the weavings of each individual’s choices, actions and beliefs. It will take every individual’s best choices to re-weave the collective whole:)

  • Donna Criqui

    So eloquently spoken and very true. My spirit feels so unified with your words Colette! I have felt this completely, at the same time not many people seeing their is a big wisdom. For me I choose to anchor more closely to God’s rhythm and direction.

    Love every words in this blog 💜💜💜💜

    Blessing to you and your gorgeous path Colette. Thanks for all you are.

    Donna Criqui

  • Gayle

    Man! That is so on point Colette. Thank you so much. I totally understand where you are coming from. And yes, we don’t always see the bigger picture, unless we are one of the lucky ones, lol.

    Sending you so much love and sparkly rainbow blessings,
    Gayle xx <3 <3 <3

  • Linda Wampler Miller

    Thank you so much!

  • Anonymous

    Wow, wow, wow… this is exactly how I have been feeling for months. Thank you for sharing from my thoughts to your words. I feel like a little stone being thrown into a giant river at times, but with every ripple that I send out I fill it with positive thoughts and vibrations.

  • Maria Martorana

    Thank you Colette. I am reminded once again why even though I have gotten off track a few times, I continue to come back to Oracle School. I have been struggling with the whole ‘light and love” thing that I have clung to for so many years. For a year or so I have been trying to find out where I land with all of this. It is so easy to fall into spiritual bypassing, but then again, it can become to easy to fall away from owning who we are in this universe and become depressed and cynical. You keep things real, grounded and still letting us not “poo poo the woo woo!” Much thanks and love!!

  • Christie

    That last paragraph was absolutely beautiful! Thank u Colette <3

  • Anonymous

    Beautiful share <3

  • Lori

    Wise words. Our thinking is very much the same on this. Thank you!

  • Connie Baldwin

    Beautifully written! You have the ability to express thoughts that resonate with many and I am thankful for your wisdom, encouragement, kindness and willingness to share. Thank you for being a true blessing!

  • Maria

    Colette you put into words what I have been trying to reconcile within me. Thank you so much.

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