So how do we navigate a space when we feel like we have no power and can’t control life outside of us?
The key is to recognize the huge difference between surrendering and giving up.
Surrendering to the Universe
We have to surrender to what we have no power over, what we can’t control. That doesn’t mean we say, “Oh yeah, what’s happening now is totally fine.” Or that we say, “Fine, I give up.” It doesn’t mean that we’re in denial about it either, like, “Oh, everything will be back to normal by Friday.” That’s not what I’m talking about!
What I’m talking about is the need to accept what’s going on outside of us in our current and immediate environment, and recognizing that there are certain things in our life that we have absolutely no power or control over.
For instance, there are certain things we don’t get to decide right now. We can’t say, “I think I’m gonna go visit my friend,” or “I want to go to the grocery store without waiting in line.” Those are pretty simple examples, but you know what I’m getting at. We can’t go and hug our neighbors, or visit our families, or things like that… we just can’t. So we have to accept those limitations.
Radical Acceptance and the Serenity Prayer
When we do what the Serenity Prayer says — accept the things we cannot change — that’s radical acceptance. But we also can’t stop there. We have to have the courage to change the things we can. And that’s our attitude, how we spend our time, where we place our attention, what we actually do… how we are in the world and determine what we’re willing to do to set things right when we see the flaws.
We also have to look at where we’ve been trying to exert control and where we’ve been fighting acceptance. Where are we bringing a bad attitude, or a purely selfish one? Where are we resisting? And when we discover those areas, we can course correct.
That’s ultimately what the Serenity Prayer offers us: Course correction, an opportunity to do things differently.
Now, let me be clear: When you discover places where you’ve been resisting or trying to exert control, it does NOT mean you’ve failed. It does NOT mean you don’t get another chance. We ALWAYS get another chance!
Every day we wake up, it’s another chance. Every hour is another chance! Every minute — you have a chance to change your attitude.
And we have to do this work again and again and again.
Changing Your Attitude
Here’s an example: I was feeling pretty ornery yesterday. I wanted to pick a fight with my husband, and I couldn’t immediately identify why I was feeling so ornery!
So instead of picking the fight or just glossing over it, I went deeper. I asked myself why I was feeling so prickly, and I realized I’m grieving. I had identified someone in my life that I had to cut off because of their negativity. Especially right now, negativity is something I can’t absorb. I have to show up at my best for my people… and that means saying no to negativity.
It wasn’t easy, and it made me feel deeply sad. But once I recognized where my orneriness was stemming from, I could recognize the grief and be gentle with myself. By accepting my feelings and recognizing them, I could move on. But not right away.
What does acceptance mean in grief?
Grief has her own timetable, and once you tune into her song you’ll discover that you may have been avoiding a greater grief, an existential one that forces you to be accountable and see the world as it is not the way you wish it to be. That can hurt like hell but it will be worth it if you allow it to wake you up.
If you’re dealing with grief, don’t resist or fight it. You can surrender to your grief. If your life has changed, maybe you’re afraid… then love that part of you that’s afraid! Turn it upside-down and instead of pushing it away, love the heck out of it. Really spend time in self-love and self-acceptance.
You cannot change what you’re denying. You cannot heal what you refuse to acknowledge that you have inside of you. Ignoring it doesn’t allow you to ask, “Okay, what’s my part in this? What do I own? What can I change, how can I be a better citizen of the world?”
Creating chaos is a way to refuse responsibility for our part in what needs to be done. We can also compound suffering from unnecessary friction. We can allow a current situation to trigger old pain. Something happens and we are suffering not because of what’s actually going on, but because of a story we tell ourselves. We put ourselves in the victim role. But when you see yourself only as a victim, you have no power. No choice. Yet you can’t blame the victim now can you? The way out is compassion and kindness and patience and the willingness to be willing to be willing.
Hold Space for the Beauty
You are not trapped in your past story. You have to remind yourself that the voice you’re hearing that says the sky is falling is just a small, scared, conditioned part of yourself that got stuck in a lie that may have been true once but you get another chance to trust yourself. That self wants to protect you, and just like grief, it needs to be seen and it needs to be loved.
Love that lost piece of yourself. Fear is all it knows. When you feel like a victim, it’s simply the voice of your fearful part. It is small and vulnerable and easily soothed.
Our part is recognizing where we have a choice – and then making that choice. Asking ourselves, “What am I going to do with my time and my focus and my energy? Can I be strong in the torrential rain and do the really hard things? When this storm passes, do I allow myself to see a rainbow?”
We have to continue to hold space for the beauty that could come from this time, and at the same time, understand that we are dealing with complicated human emotions. We can recognize what we’re going through without getting overly invested in an old story, or in our own wounds or those of others without bypassing them. It is one helluva strange dance we’re doing. This is true, that is true, this is true, that is true.
Open Yourself to the Universe
The answer, or at least one that I know works is to be receptive to the Universe, to your Higher Power. Allow the possibility that you have everything you need inside of you right now.
You don’t have anything to prove to be wholly loved and supported, just as you are. Then help someone else who is less fortunate than you and keep doing that, and when you’re done find someone else. Keep asking “What would Love do?” keep surrendering and do that.
Resources for Radical Acceptance
If you want to explore the topic of radical acceptance in more depth, tune into my latest episode of my podcast Woo2 on INSIDE THE WOONIVERSE, where I’m talking about shifting from a mindset of lack, limitation and scarcity into one of abundance, opportunity and faith. In these short episodes, I’m taking the mic and sharing my insights and stories about all things Woo!
In times of uncertainty, there’s nothing more soothing and supportive than exploring our personal growth and relationship to Spirit in community with like-minded people.
That’s a big part of what we’ll be doing at my annual OraclePalooza Virtual event. A full weekend of the mystical, the magical, and the woo! It is a place to reignite your hope, trust your intuition, and reconnect to your Higher Purpose. Get on the waitlist to find out when the next OraclePalooza is here!
Thank you Colette, your blogs are the best.
I’m a true believer in the Serenity Prayer!
Colette, I would like to thank you and your crew for doing what you do on a daily basis. It has only been since this worldwide crisis of the coronavirus that I came across to you and started following you on Facebook. You have truly been a delight each and every day attending the 11:11 woo hour. I feel that I could not complement you any better than to state: when I first started attending your program I was nothing more than a speck of existence. But as weeks have went by and my overall holistic knowledge Has been growing as have I, I am currently cocooned almost ready to emerge as a Unique Butterfly. You have helped me find I treasure I hadn’t realized I had misplaced, Thank You All for All that you do, You do Matter and make a Difference 😉
Thank you so much. It’s always wonderful to be reminded of what I really know, but allow to get pushed to the back of my consciousness.
Very good to read what you wrote , makes feelings float around 🤙👁️🌈 ❤️😉
Oh, how beautifully said. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Someone recently wrote that FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. When one realizes that love is the opposite of fear, the world, both internal and external, changes dramatically. ❤️🙏🏻❤️
Colette, as always this was beautiful to read this morning. I can totally resonate to this with closing doors with people with negativity and always the same stories.
Bless you and Love,
Hi Colette,
I’ve been getting your Oracle card readings every time (which I enjoy) but for some reason not getting the next day astrological reading. I would like to please. Thank you.
Lori 🙂
thank you again for directly addressing what many feel right now. Radical acceptance is exactly what we need to know and put into conscious practice.
Namaste!
This is amazing and very true and can relate with closing off someone that does not serve your highest good. It is a very painful process, grieving for that loss appropriate. We have choices to make, and some of them really challenge our core being, but they have to be made. Surrendering totally in the trust that Spirit has my back and laying my path ahead – difficult, but do-able. Thank you for your wisdom and guidance 💗
Thankyou Colette for todays comments…my husband had heart surgery and has had numerous problems and has been in and out of hospitals and critical care centers ever since….and I have had a very hard time staying on the path….I know the way inside my Self… but as you have stated there is pain and greif ….it has helped me to have reinforcement and has truely resonated with my soul
Hi Colette! Grief has been a very willing actor in these times for sure. I believe it is supposed to be so. We had a visitation from Gaia this week in which she apologized for having to do some things to save herself. She loves us all so much and has tried to minimize the damage, but this is necessary now in order for the whole human race to survive. It is a physical and mental state virus which is why they cannot understand it. To only treat the physical won’t be enough. We are in a time of extreme self inventory and choosing who we want to be. No more sitting on the fence is allowed. Many will choose to leave and those of us who stay will be encountering some real negativity as the others lay open their wounds maybe for the first time ever. I agree, though, that we do not have to be punching bags-need to put on protection every day like clothes-we do not deserve to be dragged back into our victimhood which we have worked so hard to leave behind. They are just beginning and sometimes seeing us happy when we “shouldn’t” be sends daggers so armor up guys and stay happy! Great reading-always on spot!
Dear Collette, I have been following you for about 5 years and so much of what you have said and done resonates with me, but I have never written to you or commented until today when I read this blog and it spoke directly to my soul to such an extent that I am compelled body and soul to tell you about it. Let me preface this with the fact that I have worked consistently as a registered nurse for the last 35 years and have been reading the research and speaking to other professionals about COVID-19 for months. My conclusion is that once the physicians realized that a mass infection with the virus has a different effect on the lungs and oxygen, not a pressurized dose of it from a ventilator, and what is needed is pure oxygen –and heat, I knew that it would have no more effect on people than the regular flu does every year, and me and mine have no fear of it.
My real issue is that the day before yesterday I ended a friendship based on the constant and persistent negativity of the individual and the subsequent chaos it generated. As a humanitarian Aquarian and an empath, breaking ties with this person was one of the most difficult things I have ever done. And try as I might, the situation had reduced my typically high joy level to nil—until I read this blog. So I wish to thank you from the bottom of my joyful heart.
I have been a learner in the metaphysical world for over 20 years. I have studied the teachers and discarded many over the years for various reasons until I have essentially been left with Dolores Cannon, Louise Hay, Wayne Dwyer, Laura Silva, and you. I feel that you are the “real deal”. Thank you for all you do to spread The Light. Jacqueline Mosqueda
agree with all you say! and bless you for such a lovely note
Hi Colette,
Thank you so much. This was a great read and divinely timed. I have loved your woo woo breaks and also your posts and messages. They have brought me comfort during these unprecedented times.
Sending love and hugs,
Angela
Absolutely perfect – so many are getting weary of the restrictions and find it hard to stay loving with those they are quarantined with at home… when I do weddings, I remind the couple that it’s the small things which make or break a relationship, and not to let the little irritations explode into something catastrophic and irreversible. Thanks Colette. Your words are so needed, so timely. Bright blessings to you and yours…
Dear Colette,
This is a beautifully and lovingly expressed piece of work. Thank you for lighting the way for so many. You are a treasure.
With wishes to you of peace, love, joy and eternal thanks.
Thank you very much for writing this. I’m about to embark on writing/ tidying up an old article on the “Wisdom in the not knowing”, and your offering has prompted me to do it soon.
For one year, I had the mantra, “Achievement through surrender” guide me.
I’m no longer receiving or able to find the astrology readings for the last two weeks. Anyone else having that problem?
check on my FB page, or Youtube, you might have to resubscribe.
Hello Colette, your are a great person, so human, down to earth…I love listen your Wooo times every weekday, sunday and mondays, and read you everytime you send us a mail as this one.
Thank you so much, hugs from Mexico City, I am so glad I met you 3 years ago in one of those Hay House Summit, since then, I´ve been following and understanding your messages.
Thank you so much for being so lovenly present.
Fernando
big hug to you !!!