The Mirror of Love: Transform Your Relationships with Forgiveness!!


Updated: February 15, 2010


Listen to MJ’s Man in the Mirror while reading this post. If you’re a woman change the lyric to woman, simple. 😉

What do you see when you look into the mirror of love?

Yesterday I was out doing errands around town when I looked down and noticed one of those little sweetheart candies in the parking lot near my car. Curious to see what it said, I peered down to make out the faint pink letters. It said: Soul Mate. As I was driving home, I thought about the many soul mates I’ve had in my life (including my amazing husband Marc) and what I’ve learned from all of those relationships. Even in the midst of the letdowns and struggles, my relationships have invited me to take a hard look in the mirror and to grow, heal, and forgive.

All of your relationships are a reflection of who you are and who you could be. So, if you want to improve the relationship you have or find great love, you must take a close look in the mirror and forgive.

Forgiveness is truly one of the best ways to open yourself up to more love. If you’re feeling any shame, bitterness, resentment, confusion, anger, impatience, or loneliness, those feelings exist inside of you—not in the experiences that created them. And you bring them to your present circumstances. So, if you still harbor any unresolved feelings about a previous partner, your current relationship, or even yourself, you energize the same experience over and over. To not forgive means that you’ll continue to re-feel those feelings. That’s doesn’t sound very fun, does it?

I know that you may have had painful experiences when it comes to relationships. You may have been hurt and treated unfairly and wonder how on earth you can really forgive that situation or person. But, remember that forgiveness is not about condoning someone or something. It’s about releasing yourself from repeating the same feelings over and over. Forgiveness is about YOU! And it’s one of the keys to having an amazing relationship.

Romantic relationships are ignited by your soul. They are spiritual experiences meant to help you grow and heal. All the people on your path are teachers. So, if you’re judging any relationship as failed, I’d like to invite you to look at it as a teacher and healer for your soul.

What can you learn from your past and present partners? When you look into the mirror, who were you in that relationship? How can you grow from the relationship?

Remember that time is not linear. You can go back and heal the past. You can change your perception and experience gratitude for the present. Relationships have a way of re-opening old wounds that haven’t been healed. The more we forgive, the more we raise our vibration to a more healthy and loving relationship.

A good relationship will support your growth and help your soul heal. Much as our culture loves fairy tales and romance novels, there will be challenges and times when life isn’t so rose-colored. Good conflict helps you grow. It’s also important to focus on accepting your partner the way he/she is right now rather than try to change them. Yes, you may not like the way he dresses or that she doesn’t share your hobbies, but love is about accepting someone.

If you’re single, ask yourself if you have someone to forgive. What can you learn from your experience with them? Use your intuition on this. Maybe there were red flags that you didn’t want to see. But, you can vow to keep your eyes open for red flags now and trust your instincts.  And when you see all the green flags, but ‘he’s just not your type’, ask yourself, how has choosing ‘your type’ worked out for you. If that’s the case, time to really reflect to see where ‘your type’ has gotten you thus far.

NotMyTypeIn my next blog, I’ll go into some of the amazing scientific reasons why ‘your type’ is not really your type. Make sure you read it, it’ll change everything you’ve ever ‘felt’ about ‘your type’.

Also, remember to forgive yourself. You cannot change the past or change who you were in the past. Send love to the “you” who experienced that situation and recognize that you did the best you could at the time.

Download the FORGIVENESS meditation

Happy Post Valentine’s Day!!


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