Sex & the Single Psychic: My Greatest Love Lessons… and a Few Laughs!


Updated: August 27, 2010

KissingFrogDo you ever think you might be cursed when it comes to love? Ever feel like your amazing partner might be trapped in a dungeon with no way of getting out to meet you?

I thought it was time for us to spice things up and have a few laughs! After all, it is Mercury Retrograde, and I think we all could use a few chuckles. So, I’m going to share some funny tales of my own experiences as a psychic intuitive and talk about a few of the lessons we can all keep in mind during life’s ups and downs. Today, let’s the tackle the spicy subjects—sex and love! Ready?

Before I met my husband Marc, I kissed my share of frogs. Just as my career started to take off and my phone started ringing off the hook, my love life took the most bizarre turn.

First there was the conservative Jewish guy who seemed nice and down to earth. We could chat for hours and had the same sense of humor. Even though I was raised Christian, I was still worthy of his interest since my mother was Jewish. When we first got around to discussing my work, I told him I was a psychic. But, things took a dramatic turn when a few months later I mentioned that I was teaching a “You Are Psychic” class and wouldn’t be able to meet him for dinner. He threw a bit of a tantrum and said his parents wouldn’t approve of my work. I never heard from him again.

Expressive runsBut don’t worry; I soon met a really hot firefighter. We saw each other from across the room just like in the movies, and that was it. He really, really liked me and he was cute. Yet, he turned into a frog the minute he saw some tarot cards on my kitchen table. He sped away saying that his mother also “saw” things and she was completely crazy.

Still I persevered! Next I met a wine steward. Though I’m a recovered alcoholic, I still somehow thought I could make it work. I mean he was so handsome and he did mention that he meditated and was into astrology; so of course we would fall madly in love. Ha! At first I thought it was great that he’d ask me about my abilities, but he and his friends soon began relating to me as if I was a 24/7 psychic hotline. He’d ask me what he was thinking or for insight at the most inopportune times. So, that was the end of that.

Then there was a smart and wonderful lawyer who would shower me with compliments, flowers, and chocolate. After several romantic dates, he invited me to his house in the Bahamas for the weekend. We sat at dinner planning our trip but things came to a dramatic halt when I mentioned I worked as a clairvoyant counselor. (Considering my recent dating experience at that point, I decided to avoid using the word “psychic” since it seemed to set off alarms!) The lawyer freaked out and I fled from the restaurant as he was insisting that he needed to save my soul.

And the singles parties! Don’t you love to hate singles parties? I usually avoided opportunities for small talk, but my well-meaning friend talked me into going to this swanky party one night. At this point, I was tired of the reactions people had to my work as a psychic. My friend said she told the other people I went to a private school growing up and had lived abroad for a bit. So, I tagged along. But then it curious partygoer got word that I was a recovered alcoholic who conversed with a giant angel and sometimes talked to dead people. All I could do after that was munch on the chips and pretend to be fascinated with a few pictures on the wall, until I could finally leave.

While talking with callers on my show, I often tell them to pay attention to red flags and the patterns in their lives. I’ve taught what I had to learn. At the time, the men I was attracting mirrored my inner conflict with being psychic and worthy of a stable committed man. You may also wonder how I missed the red flags. Indeed, my desire clouded my intuition. All of these frogs were also pushing me to do some work on myself. I go into detail of how you can clear you intuitive filters and get out of the haze of desire in my book Remembering the Future. When I finally paid attention and did that work, the payoff was beyond my greatest dreams.

C&MBy the time I had met my now husband Marc, I’d thrown my hands up in the air but was also comfortable with all of who I am. And, he was well worth the wait. Not only did he not run for the hills at the mention of the word psychic, he’s alright with doing dishes!

So, here are some of the lessons I’ve learned about love:

If you truly want an amazing healthy relationship, you need to love all of who you are.

When you keep attracting the same type of person, remember you are the common denominator. You have to take a look at YOU, not point fingers at them.

Have faith. Spirit knows what is in your highest good and has a plan for you that is yours alone.

Let go of attachment and trust. What is yours can never be taken away.

And, keep a sense of humor. Looking back, I wish I hadn’t taken all these men and their behavior so seriously.


What lessons have you learned about love? Take some time to journal about your partners, both past and present, and what message they have for you. Then look for a little humor in the experiences that didn’t turnout as you wanted.

Ask Spirit for a message: Close your eyes and get quiet for a few minutes. Then ask Spirit for a message for you about love. Write down whatever comes to mind through your intuition.

And, share your stories and lessons with us!

In service and love,


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  • Deborah Ann Filler

    Thank you for sharing this! I so appreciate you and your work. Blessing to you!

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