How do we know when we’ve found ourselves?!

Updated: July 13, 2021

On the journey to self-actualization and becoming your highest self, there may come a point where you stop and wonder, “How do I know when I’ve found myself?”

It’s easy to get stuck in this way of thinking – the idea that your spiritual journey has an endpoint. That you aren’t your true, authentic self until one day, everything changes and you finally “arrive.” Instead, what you’ll most likely discover is that you will find yourself over and over again along the way. Finding yourself is more of a gradual unfolding or an organic blossoming than reaching a destination. 

There are these moments though, where you’ll discover a little bit more about yourself. Where you know more about life or you have more self compassion. Where you see yourself and your life through a new lens. And each of these is another point on the evolution of your blossoming. 

As you grow and transform, new parts of you are revealed. 

You get to feel happy and fulfilled on your path to finding yourself

As you journey into the path of self-exploration and try to figure out what authenticity means to you and how to be yourself, you might notice yourself getting stuck in the darkness at times. 

I think there can be a cultural story or belief that if you want to transform, if you want to find yourself, you need to be doing deep, heavy, serious inner-work all the time. This is absolutely one part of the journey toward self actualization and figuring out how to be yourself or how to be more authentic, but it’s far from the whole story! 

On your spiritual journey and your path to be the best version of you, you also get to have fun! You get to experience joy, playfulness, and moments of clarity. 

Sure, there will be times when you have to look at your shadow and do deep work, but that doesn’t have to define the entire journey. Your journey is all of it – all the messiness and beauty of life, all of it essential, none of it wasted. Joy dances with grief, laughter with tears. 

You look into your own soul and see the beauty there. You get to see your life experiences through a new lens and realize that all of your complexities and life experiences are perfect in their imperfection. 

Without bypassing what’s painful, you still get to know joy! 

What to do when the people in your life don’t support your transformation 

I like to call this little paradigm “crabs in a bucket.” This is the experience when you have made a decision to commit to changing your life, to going all in on your transformation and claiming the life you want – but the people in your life are uncomfortable with the idea of you changing. 


This can be one of the biggest obstacles on the path of personal growth. 

Just when you feel ready to go out, do the inner-work, find yourself, and commit to your self-compassion and self-worth, you get thrown off track by the people you love most. 

Their resistance to your change is innocent, but they are triggered by your growth and so when you start to crawl out of the bucket – they’ve gotta pull you back down! 

Sometimes, you can even become your own crab… the little voice in your head pulling you back down each time you make progress. 

Wherever it’s coming from, the root of this is that you or the people around you are afraid to see you change. Afraid you’ll leave them behind or you won’t be able to connect anymore. But when you commit to your growth, you make a decision. You decide to grow into the best version of you, even if it makes other people uncomfortable. And that’s what you have to keep coming back to. 

Your obstacles are part of the journey to your authentic self 

As you build your authentic life and claim the version of yourself you want to become, it’s important to remember that you become more resilient with every obstacle you face. 

If breakdowns happen in your life and you meet obstacles, it doesn’t mean that you are going backwards in your growth or transformation – it’s actually an essential part of the journey to finding yourself.

With each new challenge you face, you overcome and learn more about yourself. You build more compassion for yourself and others, and you become even closer to your highest self.

Then when you bump into an obstacle, when things don’t go the way you intended, or when you don’t manifest something the way you wanted to, instead of getting down on yourself, you can realize this is a chance for more growth. 

You can slow down and ask, “Okay, what can I learn about myself here? What do I need to see? How do I want to navigate this?” 

You can use your curiosity to see what information and clarity you can gain from this obstacle, and how it can bring you even closer to your essence. 

This is the journey of claiming your authentic self. You find yourself when you do the inner-work of going in and seeing what your life experiences can show you about who you are and who you’re meant to be. 

I know sometimes this can feel challenging to accomplish on your own! And I deeply believe in the magic that happens when we come together as a community to share our experiences and connect around our common desire to grow and transform. 

I have an amazing event coming up that is the perfect opportunity to invest in your spiritual growth and claim your authentic life. OraclePalooza Virtual is a three day live event with thousands of heart-centered, spiritual seekers from around the world. 

Over the course of the three days, you’ll be guided through a process to help you connect to your Divine inner-wisdom, lean into trusting Spirit, and claim the life that’s meant for you. If you’re looking for some extra energy and inspiration on your spiritual journey, I know you’re going to love it! Grab your ticket here…



Showing 3 comments
  • Kathryn

    This was a perfect blog of where I am now. Ready to go out & shine but something stops me from taking that next step to actualize it.
    “Okay, what can I learn about myself here? What do I need to see? How do I want to navigate this?”
    This is great advise & I’ll be asking the oracles to give me some insight into this. It definitely is a pattern I have.
    Thank again & see you at palooza!

    • Colette Baron-Reid

      glad that you loved this, Kathryn! see you at Oracle Palooza! it’s going to be a lot of fun!

  • Lisa McKay

    It’s so good to have a basic intention and understanding for OraclePalooza. I have so many issues that have become intentions for positive change-that are tying me up into anxious knots! My hope is that I will learn how to untie all of these internal conundrums!
    Thank you for this wonderful article and video!
    I am ready for the Palooza too!

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