The Spiritual Solution to Imposter Syndrome!

Do you ever get caught in the grips of Imposter Syndrome, right when something good happens?  Whether it’s achieving a dream goal, or starting a project you’ve always wanted to do, receiving a gift, or entering a room with people you admire?  

Recently something happened that made me think of all those times in the past (many, actually) where I fell prey to this. I like to call it the brain-sucking heart-stomping spell of that inner creature with the whiny voice that nattered away at my self-worth as soon as my eyes opened. 

 “See? You’re not good enough! You can’t do this! Who do you think you are anyway? You don’t deserve it! Quit now while you’re ahead!”

When I wrote my first book, Remembering the Future, in 2006 I literally popped a rib and had a full-blown panic attack listening to that awful voice and imagining that everyone could see I was a mistake and that my publisher, Hay House, should dump me ASAP!  

Thank goodness I had the wisdom of Hay House president Reid Tracy to whom I tearfully blubbered that I was afraid my ideas just were not original enough.  His response was reassuringly casual: “No one had any original ideas, just original ways of talking about similar things. Just be yourself!” 

That actually helped. 

And then I experienced what I thought was my lucky day when Louise Hay herself thought I was worth a shot and told me so when she came to my seminar and sat in the audience. But, then that Imposter voice got busy and pretty loud, shouting instructions in my head. The saliva police were obviously listening, as my mouth went dry as a bone and my upper lip stuck to my front teeth in the middle of a sentence. Then I let out the most cringey nervous laugh and forgot what I was saying. Sigh.  

Still, my environment was more than supportive. I was the one who had to catch up.  

Which I did! Took a while but over time, I let go of approval seeking, hustling for my worth, and comparing myself to others. Eventually, that voice visited me less and less.  

So, when my students ask me “How did you free yourself from Imposter Syndrome?”  

Most people expect me to waft poetically on self-love and self-compassion. While that is true I will say for me it also needed to be peppered with some defiance and rebellion.  

Holy Cannoli, a spiritual teacher using those words! 

The reason I am sharing this now is because a couple of weeks ago my old record company released the rights to all my music back to me. Twenty years is a long time to wait. (After countless phone calls over the years that always ended the same – buy yourself out for $250K and you can have your music.)   

You heard the song I released last week. (It was a career and now a hobby, something creative I can share with the people who might like it.) 

Thank god my awesome music biz lawyer had the intuitive wherewithal to add a clause that gave my deal an expiry date! Seriously, the original deal read that the record label would own the master recordings for the entire universe in perpetuity! (not an exaggeration) Can you believe they were still going to own my music on Mars when I reincarnate!?!  

 So of course, the new wonderful situation (you can have them back now, no money necessary!)  brought back all the memories, good and awful, of the amazing man who gave me a shot and some of the great characters I met. But, everything was weirdly tainted by the attitudes of an industry that saw me as too old, too fat, too different, and a zillion other too much or not enoughs (too many to mention).  

So as you know I ended up in the most fringey weird wondrous profession (when I started, this was not mainstream at all!). I’ve happily settled into it, although there was a huge chip on my shoulder for quite a while.  

I won’t bore you with that story. Plus here I am now, definitely not the same person. And definitely grateful beyond measure the other career tanked.  

So yes self love and compassion are keys to the sanctuary of inner peace. Yet, for me, the gritty truth is every time the Imposter starts yapping in my head in recent times, I also have to take a minute and think about my early days and what I learned from the best spiritual teachers I ever had.  

It was 38 years ago. I’m sitting in a circle with other drug addicts and alcoholics, sharing our stories, many of us newcomers filled with deep remorse and self-loathing. A man shares his recovery time at 2 years and after losing everything, he’s now happy, has a job, a relationship that was healed, and he also shares all that he’d been through to get to that room and it was way worse than I could ever imagine.  

He talked about that Imposter voice that taunted him about his new life and why he didn’t deserve it. How every morning he had to defy that voice within him, and refuse the outside projections of others. That was the voice that could make him pick up a drink. For us to drink or to drug again was a death sentence. Would we ever choose this?  

In recovery, our community was our survival. We were taught that our inner lives had to be strong and disciplined, centered around God, not things. Our focus was on our common good, not our differences, and I have remembered that every day since.  

God does not make junk. It’s not even about resistance. That takes too much effort. It’s about defiantly refusing to be told you’re less than, unworthy in any way, a has-been, a never will be, a too much or too little of anything. Be yourself in all your “too whatever” glory! 

The spiritual solution to Imposter Syndrome is simple. Refuse that voice, inside you and outside you. Gather your people who love and support you, find your common ground, and ignore the ones who won’t see you.  

Every day, when you open your eyes make a promise to remember you were born worthy and you are enough.  

Don’t let anyone tell you differently, especially the Imposter in your head.