Are You Reinforcing the Drama?!


Updated: April 22, 2013


You’re feeling stressed, annoyed, frustrated and you know it always helps to talk it out with your besties.  You pick up the phone or meet for a coffee and away you go.  It’s a complete download of the details and your emotions in one big ball of Ugh.

Whether you are sharing your angst or perpetuating a piece of gossip, the swirl of drama you are sharing is prolonging a whole lot of negativity.

Going to these negative places we bring fear and anxiety to our minds and our bodies.  You can talk about your problems to each and every friend you have and you may get some insight, but how often is a constructive resolution the outcome?  Don’t dump your garbage on your friends, instead set up your discussion with the intention of a resolution.

What about if instead of starting your call with, “I need to talk about this” you began with “I’d love to explore a solution to an issue?”  That’s a critical shift from reliving the fear, to creating a purposeful solution.

It benefits us to rehearse the good, rather than relive the bad.  Rehearse the sense of hope in finding a positive outcome and see things in a better light, rather than feeling stuck in the sludge.

I’m not suggesting you dismiss your hurt.  Rather, imagine your circumstances were exactly the same and you were rehearsing feelings that have nothing to do with hurt.  Focus on being hopeful until it becomes true for you.

For example, imagine the opposite of the circumstance.  Say you’re angry at your husband and instead you thought about what it would feel like if you were getting along with him.  Find yourself on the other end of it and then work your way back.  Imagine what it would look like being in that new place and by repeating those thoughts and feelings the subconscious mind would start to believe that it’s true.

Love and blessings,
Colette Baron-Reid
Intuitive Counselor

If you have a question you would like to ask Colette, write to her at [email protected]All published questions and answers will be anonymous – we honor and protect your privacy. (Please, Colette respectfully asks that you do not submit requests for readings to this email address.)

Showing 5 comments
  • Keeley Mancuso

    A good friend gave me excellent advice, if you don’t approach it as problem solving, you’re just gossiping about yourself!!!

  • Trish

    Wow…did I ever need that information at this time! I’ve been overwhelmed and frustrated and am tired of hearing myself not coming up with resolutions. Now, I’m going to do just that! Onward and forward! Thank you!

  • Karolyn

    I love this article on Reinforcing the Drama….. It is well said and so true… I myself have been caught up in it and it doesn’t feel good… Finding a resolution feels more positive and empowering….. Thank you for sharing and your insightful wisdom…..


  • Vickie Goodenough

    I’ve always practiced this, until recently have been so blocked and those thoughts came to me…it almost felt like I was feeling sorry for myself!! Just by reading this article, it has helped me acknowledge and start to turn it around again!! Thank you so much!! Now I can feel more confident when my clients come to me for guidance! Love~n~Blessings Always, Vickie

  • Theresa Crann

    It is great to hear this. A great reminder. I recently have problem-solved a health issue using this thought process. But it took me a couple of months to get there, because my head was so far up my butt! haha! Instead of thinking “what is wrong with me” and “I’m not going to be able to do this and that anymore because of how I feel”, I changed it to, “I have faith that my health is improving, and that I will attract the people and things into my life that will make me get better. My body is feeling better everyday.” Then, the solution came to me. Something that the doctors would have taken awhile to solve, as well. Thank you Universe!! And thank you Colette! This post further solidifies my beliefs that we inherently have the ability to solve all of our problems and to not get rapped up in the “isn’t it terrible” mindset.

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