Purrls of Wisdom – Thoughts from the Cocoon of Colette Baron-Reid – Part 1!
Updated: June 24, 2013
In honor of my beautiful pearly white Harley, Purrl, that is no longer, I thought it only fitting that I call these next blog posts Purrls of Wisdom. It feels appropriate given the impact of my motorcycle accident and all the pearls I’m discovering at the bottom of my own oceanic watery place of healing. I never did get to put the vanity plate on her that claimed her on the road, but I will find another purring engine to ride when I’m ready and likely christen her Purrl also. Don’t worry, I’m in no rush.
My last two blogs were about the details of what happened in my world outwardly and the beginning of what began to occur within me, due to a very serious motorcycle crash I had with my new bike. It began with a sharp S-turn and a granite post on the Seacoast highway here in NH just over two weeks ago. So if you’re scratching your head going HUH? You might be new to my tribe, or just didn’t read the previous posts yet. You might want to catch up- They’re called The Boot of Shame – Part 1 and Part 2.
I was truly amazed at how many of you wrote in about your own stories of being thrown off your caterpillar leaf-munching perches into the radically inconvenient and sometimes terrifying quickening of metamorphosis. As much as I felt so moved by the stories and deep pain you wrote about, I was humbled by your courage and willingness to be open to share. I know it made me feel less alone that’s for sure, and reminded me we are all works in progress, doing the best we can a day at a time.
I’m reminded that Grace is an unmerited gift, and that all things too shall pass.
I’ve been writing and speaking for quite some time about the quickening we’re all experiencing, and, when I was still on the air with my radio show, I frequently took calls from people who were in that in-between space of knowing they were not meant to be where they were anymore, but unsure of where they were going, and who they were to become.
From where I sat, my wisdom came from experience and I knew what I was talking about. Intellectually, philosophically, intuitively I was on track and had integrated the hardships and lessons I experienced 30 years ago. Surviving brutal rape, getting clean and sober, watching everything fall apart through financial hardship and tragic losses before the reshaping and rebuilding of the extraordinary life that brought me here! Wait just a minute! Wasn’t that supposed to be it?
The thing is, one never expects to be visited by the Spiral Dancer, feeling like you’ve fallen so far away from the rhythm of your life, invited back into a deeper layer of the vulnerability and self-deconstruction that has to happen with transformation.
It’s not an intellectual exercise. It’s visceral, tangible, and multi-sensory, and it defies language when you so desperately want to make sense of it. Who said it was supposed to be fair anyway?
I was faced with an inconvenient truth this weekend. When the accident first occurred, I had my office reschedule my appointments for two weeks. It takes terrific energy to enter into the intuitive space to access insight for clients. I had already considered making a big change in this department before the accident. I don’t even know what to call myself anymore since the labels I’ve relied on don’t do justice to my evolved service at all anymore. (more about that this summer)
This week I was to go back to work. I had a panic attack and knew I was not ready to re-enter my life. I had more surrendering to do to be of real service to people- because I had not yet integrated how best to be of service to myself.
It’s more than just the Monday-morning-reentry blues. It wasn’t what we feel at the end of a fabulous vacation. This was bigger and more powerful. Have you ever felt like you just couldn’t do it – it being your work, your contribution, the value you put out into the world? Did you take a break or did you forge ahead? What was the result of either course of action? I’d love to hear from anyone who dug their heels in and sat themselves down for a good, long look at their life and purpose.
In tomorrow’s Part 2 of this Purrl of Wisdom, I’ll share what happened when I took a long look at what was making me panic and the surrendering that followed. Please stay tuned.
Colette Baron Reid
The InVision Project
Founder, CEO
intuition-insight-influence
I’ve been on a long break and I have asked myself those questions many times.
Cocooning, even in Summer, can be a challenge, when everyone is busy doing “summer like” stuff. However, the importance is me. My goals, my values, my self-love.
So, yes a break is good, along with good friends, amazing supporters, and a whole “lotta” faith.
Bless you.
Welcome back to your first week back 🙂 I wish I knew where to go from here, I understand, it is hard to start up again, I am finding it hard myself. Let me know how you get through it and I will follow your lead 🙂
Oh wow, I can really, truly relate to so many layers of this experience, Colette. Thank you for openly sharing. <3 I greatly appreciate your honesty and truth because when we "know" it's ultimately about surrender, we can allow grace, and trust, and faith to guide the way as we stand in the hallway, waiting for the next doorway to open. I've learned how vital self-care is during these transitions, but oh, how I fight it at times! I just finished sharing my own story about surrendering in big way and how life-changing it was, but ultimately vastly fulfilling and Divine. I find the synchronicity around this theme very validating. {the book is free right now on Kindle: "The Art of Trapeze: Soaring, Surrendering, and Awakening"}
Thank you for your openness and courage!! Look forward to your next post tomorrow!!
With gratitude,
Molly
congrats on your book bravo! .. love to you
I greatly appreciate you sharing your story…just a bit over two weeks I had a similar experience with my scooter…36 staples in my right leg above the knee (it wasn’t a wall but a very heavy old desk & no, I wasn’t riding my scooter through an office..LOL..it was sitting in the parking lot of our business…talk about symbolism there..LOL!!) …laceration 10″ across and 3-4″ deep..looks like an upside down smiley face or a rainbow above my knee..healing great! Yet, the whole experience has been an “eye-opener” too. It has shown me how I have been pushing myself too much and refusing to go with the flow & changes that are already happening. Thank you again. I wish you well…sending lots of love & healing mojo to you. Btw…You are one of my favorite authors! I admire your ability to just “be” you!!!!
o honey! healing vibes to you from me !! we do this transformation dance a teeny step at a time now but none of us do it alone! oxox
I just want to “raise my hand” and say I am in your tribe, as you have been in mine since probably 2005 or 2006!, sending you x’s and o’s and saying thanks for the purrls, looking forward to more & more : ) <3 Rita
Transformation arrives in many forms, whether it’s been invited into our lives or not. I feel that we rediscover who we are while we function in the world. Sometimes an accident, which is unfortunate, painful and limiting makes us re-examine our service to others. I appreciate your insight into your life on such a personal level. I have been struggling and found reaching out the most valuable tool to my growth, on every level. As you, I have discovered that we are NEVER alone, as lonely as it may feel sometimes. As an intuitive as well, we can’t predict anything in our future, we can follow our internal barometer and keep a daily spiritual practice but we are not immune. Growth can be painful, fun, interesting and it brings to us the unknown. I strongly believe and practice myself, sitting with my feelings, allowing them to bring to me the reward. That includes a multitude of emotions including fear, anger and love. Sit with it, allow it and don’t resist the beauty of growth.
Much love to you Collette.
Namaste,
Ursula
O my I remember you when you were just starting out Thanx for writing! I write about all of this so others can identify with me so glad you did too. And, of course the growth has to come with some resistance or the flowers would not be able to push up through the ground nor the butterfly be able to break open its cocoon. The real lesson is to know when to stay still, be slow, take it all in, then integrate it and allow for the right use of resistance to come only when we’re ready to push off. I am practicing slow languid… not planning on going anywhere too fast and am surrendered to knowing that the beauty of this growth is all about stillness. For now 😉
Its so great you have been taking the time you need to heal which is bringing you to the next part of your amazing soul journey. As you are finding your work is clarifing…your purpose for being clarifies and your amazing intuitive skills sharpened. Last Christmas I had a trigger happen that revealed a deep piece of damage that I had no idea I hadn’t cleared. It was very tough and painful what occurred but I was very grateful of the gift of the healing lessons. I stopped all of my intuitive healing facilitator work to clear this damage as I did not want any of it coming through into my work with clients…Because my personal perspective is the clearer we are as healing facilitators the better results for those we aid in their personal journey. Colette you are always so magnificent in your work with others so as you metamorph into this next phase of you on your path I can only anticipate the awe of what you will be accomplishing for so many as well as yourself. Thank you always for you…I am always grateful for your collaborative insights into helping me move forward on my path. I love you xo
thanx for sharing/writing !! xoox
I gave myself the biggest gift of an extended time-out, that I know saved my life. I had been “trying” to get clean and sober for more years than I care to admit, when I got fired from an awesome job because they could no longer look the other way and watch me self destruct. My employer of 8 years was more emotional about letting me go than I was…I was like, FINALLY, game over. I either die or get sober, but how? Within the first few days, my Higher Power clearly told me to take the next 6 months and make sobriety my full time job, which I did. It was not enough, I needed more time…I went to grad. school so I would have something to fill my resume, but continued to focus on recovery for 2 full years and it provided my foundation. Tomorrow, 6-25-13, is my 13th anniversay. Lesson I learned is that I gave myself permission and listened to what my soul needed. Infinite Love and Gratitude Collette!
such a beautiful letter !! Congrats on your 13 yr anniversary of many one days at a time! I feel like I felt 27 yrs ago again when I first got sober ( stayed clean and sober this whole time) but it was the complete and absolute surrender that was incredible and I am here again… listening to the soul’s needs… and acting on them.
You are not alone, I am also facing a new level of surrender. You and I had a phone reading at the end of March – I have been super struggling with bulimia and you told me I was trouble. This denial has been much worse than the drugs and alcohol becasue it is easier to hide. I told you I had been searching for help and couldn’t find it, which added to the hoplessness and you cackled that awesome laugh and said, “After today, you will honey” Fast forward a couple of months and now I have, as I “mysteriously” found Darren. I know he has been very supportive for you over these past several weeks. In fact, I was at his lecture at the Expo in Chicago when he said you weren’t coming because of an accident. As I have been making the connections and realizing the interconnectness, I am amazed. I relate so much to your story, (except for the cool psychic medium stuff)! Funny, I just told Darren last week exerpts from our reading. I know this is more personal than you probably want to post, but I wanted to reach out and send you huge hugs and encourage you to take the time you need, your tribe will support and wait on you. Love you!
OMG I remember you of COURSE you found Darren!! you are in excellent hands. And remember what he says – these symptoms/ issues/ etc are gifts in strange wrapping paper. BRAVO YOU oxoxoxoox
I love how I was guided here this morning! First of all I wish you well in your physical recovery, and also add my heartfelt blessings to what this will yield to your accendence. I too went through something similar several years ago, and although I took the time out my soul was screaming for, I didn’t know how best to step back into my work life in response to serving my higher purpose and created one mess after another. I finally got the message that I wasn’t listening to my soul at all. I am so happy to hear you listened to your guidance given through the panic attack, and keenly await hearing what steps you take next. I have heard the phrase “baby steps” three times in two days….haven’t heard that since the movie ‘What About Bob” from several moons ago! As some who often jumps in boldly with giant leaps, I am taking this guidance to heart, and perhaps it will resonate with you as well at this time. It intrigues me that you were already asking “what’s next” in a profound way before the accident. Harsh as the experience was, it clearly seems to be an opportunity to be fully present for that question to be answered within you. I see the spiral you refer to having momentum in either direction, and you had already identified yourself as being in a state of accelerated expansion. For these times ahead, we need extraordinary leaders. Sounds to me like you are being called, Bigtime. xo
Thank you for sharing. I was in this place a few years ago struggling to complete a Ph.D. dissertation. I strongly believed in the concepts I was researching and wanted to share it, but I felt I was in a dark space when trying to communicate my thoughts. It took longer than expected and looking back, I can bless the experiences I went through as it gave me an opportunity to heal old grief (it interesting to note how writing on totally unrelated matters taps into our emotional core) and learn to set up boundaries. It was a balance of taking a break and then when I was ready, forge ahead, which happened rapidly. A personal reading with you saying you saw it completed and being much needed gave me the hope I needed. I am hold the vision that whatever is trying to birth through you will happen in a beautiful way according to Divine timing.
I can say that I haven’t worked in almost two years. I was a graduate student and working part time as an aid with special education students. I noticed that I started to get restless with my job about a fourth year in. I felt my job had no growth, which it didn’t. I couldn’t move up in my job and I was tired of working with teachers who just didn’t see the wonderful potential of a lot of the students that we were working with in the class, also dealing with administrators who were trying to find ways to get me in trouble and always seemed to have issues with the way I dressed. I didn’t dress inappropriately and it was beginning to be hard on me. I was being told it was because of envy because I was young and pretty but I was like who knows? I was eventually so stressed out my doctors put me on leave and I was transferred to another school and I was like finally a fresh start. Boy was I wrong. I was put with a teacher who didn’t let me do my job and wanted to control her class room with an iron fist. I was thinking to myself “why am I here?” she wasn’t letting me do my job eventually I was placed in another class room and put with a teacher who I later found out had some serious emotional issues and I mean drinking problems. I was like what is going on? Even though I had administrators down my throat I always managed to get good reviews over all. Strange huh? Yeah some of the teachers I worked with told me I knew my job pretty well and worked well with students. But it was just that last year and half I struggled. I was ready to quite I needed a break and the frustration was bothering me to the point where I would go home and cry. I was getting bad evaluations, dealing with teachers and administrators who had power trips and it was just getting to me. I finally made the choice and with support of my family and I quite. The next day I slept in and it felt SO GOOD! My schooling was no longer suffering and I felt peaceful. It is the one thing I do not regret doing and that is leaving that job! I felt I was pushed in that direction even if was hard. For a while I wasn’t ready to work but now that I have finished school I am so ready to. But when it is time to go it’s time to go and what a difference in energy I felt for myself. I was happy and lighter. We all have to do what we feel is right for our selves and we need to listen to that or we will be miserable.
great story .. glad you wrote in! Its so true we do need to do what’s right for us!
Publicly admitting to setbacks is a form of therapy. My life has been a roller coaster of ups and downs. I’m new to your books and website, but love them dearly. Just gave a copy of your book, The Map, to my best friend for her fiftieth birthday and she was thrilled. Over the past fifty-seven years, I have risen above abuse by a schizophrenic mother, the loss of my only baby and alcoholism in my husband’s family. I’ve learned that I can only work on improving myself, not others and that is where I am concentrating at the moment. My writing career has had its ups and downs as well, but I feel that I am finally on the right path, thanks to you, Colette and your wonderful guidance. I hope you are feeling much better soon and take the time that is needed to heal inside and out before you step back into your life.
Hello Colette! What a scare that most have being for u? It’s nice to knw u r better. Yes, I do wonder sometimes what the heck Am I doing here? I’ve being on a very long vacation ready to get back out in the working filed, but I catch myself wondering,where do I start? I’m not even sure what to do? My life-experiences have been my school, & I wish to use those contrasting challenges to reach others, but as you mentioned, how can you do that when your not ready yourself? where you still need to find the answers within yourself that has come up. Ever since I was a little girl I’ve known & felt like I didn’t belong in the family I’ve chosen,that a felt & was different. I looked @ things in life very differently from those around me. I sensed, felt, saw, known, & even smelled things,people, places & energies differently, stronger. I actually felt I was loosing my mind. Now I’am in a point in my life I’ve accepted myself. I like to assist,support & listen to others during their own contrasting times. Where do I start? How do I know that this is what I’am ment to do? Is this my true life-purpose? These & more r the questions I ask myself. I worked in the medical field for a while as a surgical technologist, I began havin anxiety & panic attacks, not sure what trig them. Now I’m not sure if I should go back into the medical filed? More questions 🙁 Anyway hope you continue to write these amazing blogs, that are so inspiring & helpful. Be Well!
For me, it was like being struck by lightning–powerful, Divine, and prit near impossible to put into words–what it does to the physical! It’s almost as if you need an injury as an entry point, to put a whole in the fabric so to speak, for the grace to break through to this level. It’s real. It’s hard for others to know what you’re going through unless they’ve had it happen to them as well–or yet. Back in the day, you just got zapped, like Saul aka Paul. BAM! We still do I guess. I know how eggs feel when scrambled?–ha-ha.
As for re-entry, I kept waiting and waiting, and knowing it just wasn’t time–yet trusting and knowing I was swathed in light, love, healing, protection, though also feeling vulnerable, unsafe, unsteady. Jennifer Farmer said I was under spiritual house arrest/quarantine. All I can say is Goddess knows best. I found a shiny penny yesterday on the bathroom sill at work yesterday, heads up: Honest Abe, In God We Trust, Liberty, 2004. On the B side: E Pluribus Unum–it’s all perfect. Rest. Rest. Rest some more. To be honest, I still feel in the healing process. Never the same, never the same. Surrender and merge some more.
love this
I am so grateful and pleased beyond words to discover that others are feeling the same way. Phew! To be frank, the feeling is awful. I understand the panic attack that comes out of nowhere when I am scheduled to be of service. I have been in service for decades, I can only surmise, yet again I am at square one, the beginning of the next level of my existence.
As for now I don’t know what it will look like going back into service, I know I am to BE with ME, I trust what is on the other side will be even more spectacular and more valuable than the current me could envision.
Please all of you take good care of yourselves, when you do, you are taking care of us all. There is only one of us. Fiat Lux (let there be light).
I was very happily engaged until about 3 months ago. It was a huge shock that I didn’t see coming, so I’ve definitely had my panic moments of feeling like I can’t keep going. However, I do push ahead, and keep going. I feel like if I stop, even for a little break, I won’t be able to go on anymore. I don’t know if it’s the best way, but I’m still going!
Another one I missed. But Divine timing.
I just told a friend on the phone last night, that I was cocooning. I didn’t know anyone cocooned in the summer. As others have mentioned , summer stuff is coming all around. And I sit on this bed……………
Quite honestly, I don’t really even want to go to my “surprise” birthday party next Sunday. I live in the Monadnock Region now, due to the separation, and the party is in your neck of the woods. Not thrilled about making the drive……….. Just thinking of excuses, I guess.
The surprise would be on them, if I didn’t show, which really makes me chuckle!!
I am pleased beyond words to know that I am not the only one cocooning. I am lost without my animals to take care of , but I know they are doing well! Just feelso lost being the only Pet Whisperer without animals of my own to “whisper” to. I kind of feel like it has taken my identity. I guess that is why I have cocooned.
I do feel beautiful changes are coming. September, I think.
Thanks for letting me ramble on…………Must be a Cancer thing, huh?
Love ya lots,
Karen xoxox
Oh my! I am in my second time of huge transition and cocooning in my life.12 years ago, I went through a nervous breakdown (nice way of saying everything fell apart in my life) that forced me to take a year off of work. No simple thing for a single self supporting person! This past year, I could feel some of those old tapes running and I realized that there were still some loose ends that needed tying up in my life. So I am taking the summer to deal with those “loose ends” and hopefully, I can close the door on that part of my life and move forward. I hope that by proactively dealing with my emotional issues of the heart, I can slow down or totally avoid the physical attacks on my heart/body. I’ve been hit by the cosmic 2X4 before and it hurt!!! It caused me to really pay attention to my life and how I wanted to live it. Now it’s transition time again and this one packs a punch too! Not sure where I’ll exactly end up, but I am envisioning a wonderful life full of purposeful, healthy living!!! Now to lay the foundation and build….. 🙂 I am following your journey as I travel on mine….many blessings to you!!!
And so, I see that you are leading the boston event. do you have clearance to be on your feet? O will the event be, standing on our hands? I was at your scottsdale meeting with the MAP. What should I do to prepare for boston? Do you need workers? I am trying to get financing before the spaces run out. In Sept, 2012 I had a stroke went back to work on Dec.5th of02012. The company was sold and the LV location closed. So that leaves me needing a job. Do you think I can benefit from this event? Mary jo
you can register directly on the websiste. It will be an amazing weekend. thanx for the offer of work but we’re good. I will be teaching from a chair! xoox
oh, last year I lost my beloved cheerleader father on July 3,2012. we had the wake on my 60th birthday, July6,2012. 2012 was one crummy year.
With havin so much content do you ever run into any problems of
plagorism or copyright infringement? My website has a lot of
completely unique content I’ve either authored myself or outsourced but it seems a lot of it is popping it up all over the web without my authorization. Do you know any solutions to help reduce content from being ripped off? I’d genuinely appreciate it.
hey there Kenton, this is a good subject. My work is all subject to copyright and trademark. There is no way really to tell if anyone is ripping you off unless you find out about it. Trademark services give notice when there is a misuse of trademark but in a way with this freedom of connection on the internet one only hopes people will give credit where credit is due. My stuff is everywhere too. People need to make their own art. It’s one thing to be inspired by us it’s another to plagiarize. Sometimes people do it without thinking others because they want to make money off our ideas. It’s kind of like what happened with the music business. MOst of the time if people use our stuff and we ask them to quote us they will. Sometimes they will be weird about it. Whatever. It’s the sign of the times. …. thanx for writing xoox
Thank you for sharing my original photo “Pearls of Wisdom I” on your website. Please let your viewers know they can purchase prints of my original work here: http://fineartamerica.com/featured/pearls-of-wisdom-i-jai-johnson.html
–Jai Johnson, Photographer