When Soulmates Bring Your to Your Knees!

Updated: February 19, 2018

Continuing the theme of exploring relationships this month I’ll ask this question. Do you remember a time when you thought you met “THE ONE” and felt so strongly that you had met your soulmate, only to see this special relationship go up in flames, and you on your knees sobbing and confused?

This can apply to best friendships too not just romantic relationships. I’ve befriended a few people I was convinced would be my friend for life only to see it all unravel and disintegrate in a short time. Perhaps this may have happened to you too?

The truth is these are soulmates of a different kind, harbingers of true healing and what I like to call Shadow teachers. Through these powerful connections we get to see how our unprocessed wound-patterns still can cause us to be in denial when we choose to follow through on our attractions.

Every relationship is a reflection on how aware we are about our stories and how we tell them, what we resonate with and what we are in denial about. I have no doubt that some of the people I have been close to and called soulmate, convinced they were infused with the sparkling magic of “The One”, were indeed that but not the one who would save me, or last forever. Instead they were in my life for the sole purpose of forcing me to see what I need to change in myself.

So before you start doubting your intuition, or getting angry at that psychic who fed you the “fake news” that this person was your soulmate, or even resenting and blaming the supposed “soulmate” who went on to betray you or themselves, or abandoned you, rejected you etc. look to the inherent lesson in the relationship.

What did you learn about yourself from this experience? How did this relationship reflect an unhealed wound or old pattern? What red flags did you ignore? How did you outgrow the relationship? Who did you become as a result of this relationship? How did it help you make better choices later on?

I can tell you that my most painful relationships made me 1000% stronger and more aware of my own hidden agendas and today I am eternally grateful to them. I can’t say what they learned but I sure know what I learned about myself.

If you are experiencing this now, or have experienced this kind of shocking disappointment in your past and have not faced it, consider this, the Universe is trying to get your attention in a BIG way when you find yourself in this soulmate dilemma.

Just remember this. Not all soulmates are hearts and flowers nor are they meant to last  forever. Sometimes the most powerful ones come into your life, bowl you over with the most juicy addictive and seductive energy, then kick you behind the knees so you can become the person you want to be, in the relationship that is truly in alignment with the life you really want!

The trick is to discover the lesson and do the healing as soon as you can so you don’t keep fostering the same energy. Respect these soulmates, for Shadow teachers leave us with the most valuable gifts.




Anything is possible when you open your connection to the Universe



Showing 52 comments
  • Anonymous

    I SO, agree w/ you, on this subject. Even after a longgg soulmate connection of 28 years & three years of pain after…what I learned was, that I had lost ME. So Happy, now,that I am back to me. I like me !
    The cards I chose for the week were:
    No Place Like Home, Observer & Happy Happy !
    Thank You, Collette & Blessings for a Magical Week !

    • Colette Baron-Reid

      hugs and blessings xooxo

    • Dee Janes

      As usual Colette you are spot on! I have had 2 such experiences, one with a BFF and one with my former spouse. I know now that there are no victims, just volunteers. I embrace that part of my ‘story’ .. and it’s pretty amazing to view it and realize without these 2 experiences I would not be where I am today or who I AM today!
      These folks helped guide me towards re discovering ME! And in turn, my teachers , namely you ❤️, who are showing me how to cocreate an amazing life in harmony with Spirit!! Love Dee (Janes)

    • Sharlyn Tollefson

      I can totally relate. I was with my husband for 36 years and after a very traumatic breakdown, I have spend the last 8 years healing and figuring out who I am. I know now that that relationship was killing me body and soul. I love the new me, so strong and expansive. Thanks Colette for being the blessing you are.


  • Valerie

    Yeah, I wince at some of those previous Shadow teaching relationships. But without them I wouldn’t have met the soulmate I have now. <3

  • Kamea Moonmaiden

    Perfect reading for me this week, thank you, Collette!

  • Paulette

    This was so insightful. Thank you for the clarity. I am a better human being for my encounter with a soul mate relationship ( romantic) three years ago yesterday we met. Yesterday ( twice this week) I walked out my soul purpose . I owe it All to that relationship that was riddled with heartbreak and disappointments. 🙏🏾. I got that lesson(s)

  • Joanne E Boulter

    Colette you hit the nail on the head!!!!! I was with mys soul mate for over 35 years and he kicked my knees out from underneath me often and it ended in a bad way. But, because of his weakness I came strong women beyond my dreams. He left my body sick and broken for life but that does not mean my spirit stayed that way. I know we both signed up for this before we came to earth. It was part of the plan for me and part of my journey. Who knows where it will go from here I just pray for a little peace now and for my four children. Life goes on! lol
    xoxo Jo

  • Lisa

    Colette, Great blog this week and sooo spot on! Thank you for sharing your lessons and truths with all of us!

  • Deborah

    So timely! Thank you 💙 and the new oracle deck comes out on my birthday… I guess I’ll be getting that one too!! 😁

  • Sharon Hiebert

    Wow! The truth is powerful. Recognizing that we are enough all by ourselves when that “soulmate” betrays our idea of the conditions of the relationship is key to staying healthy and happy throughout life (with Spirit at our side). We learn and grow with each experience – some good, some painful. Thanks for this important reminder, Colette!

  • Jayne Bernasconi

    OMG! I think you just read my life. This is happening to me right now. But, I am in such a dilemma and not sure I can or want to forgive my partner. He keeps apologizing and knows he was wrong to continue to email and keep conversations up with his ex-girlfriend of 9 years (who was still in love with him), while he was dating me for almost a year and she finally emailed me to spill the beans that they’ve continued to stay in contact because they missed each other’s conversations. ARGH!! He says he’s over her and promises to never contact her again. They were not physically together but I’ve lost the trust. Can I forgive and move on, or let him go? My gut tells me “how can I take him seriously anymore” but my heart still loves him.

    • Colette Baron-Reid

      this is something only time can heal. Building trust is important in a relationship. Stay close to your heart and out of your fear.

  • Joan Charters

    Your blog about soulmates opened my eyes about past relationships of all kinds. Instead of agonising over why’s and wherefores I shall look at the learning from those times and try to live with a more positive and focused outlook. Thank you.

  • Mimi Yost

    Thank you for too true words about Soul Mate. I’m currently learning my lessons. And really viewing them.

  • Dawne

    This past month I final took the steps to end a six year relationship with my “soul mate”. Filled with extraordinary highs but also extreme lows. I was afraid to leave for so many reasons, but most of all my personal belief that I did not deserve better.
    Colette, your course, your books, your blogs gave me knowledge and the tools to look at things differently and approach life in a new way. I am now single, but feel strong & more authentic, supported and ready to face my challenges and contribute in positive ways. I am ready to find true and real joy. Thank you.

  • Anonymous

    Is some one ..whispering in your ear? me and “the One”…..also ended our 7 year Relationship…i was so burned ..id never wanted love ever again…Now i met some one…20 years later,This person is opening me up ,like never before…we met on a social site…for 8 years we were friends….i have seen myself in a million ways..i did not see before….we are both weeping…not saying a word to each other ..but feeling and communicate telepathically..with each other too…this is so scare as it seems we can read each others minds….once again..it is a soulmate…..this time age is a problem…i learning my lessons in fast forward now….thanks for…putting the soulmate article on your blog <3

  • Paula Potgieter

    Is some one ..whispering in your ear? me and “the One”…..also ended our 7 year Relationship…i was so burned ..id never wanted love ever again…Now i met some one…20 years later,This person is opening me up ,like never before…we met on a social site…for 8 years we were friends….i have seen myself in a million ways..i did not see before….we are both weeping…not saying a word to each other ..but feeling and communicate telepathically..with each other too…this is so scare as it seems we can read each others minds….once again..it is a soulmate…..this time age is a problem…i learning my lessons in fast forward now….thanks for…putting the soulmate article on your blog <3

  • Cindy

    The title needs to be fixed – it reads
    When Soulmates Bring YouR to Your Knees…
    Sorry, I’m a proofreader😳
    Delete after reading…

    I’m also the person that will tell you if you have food on your teeth, lipstick is smudged, earring is falling out, zipper is open… with the hope others will do the same for me🙃

    Love your stuff…

  • Leanne

    Love this & Colette’s teachings. ♥ Just discovered her, nearly a year ago and I am grateful that I have. 🙏💖🙏 She is one of the best out there. 👌

  • Colette

    So so insightful Colette- I lost my soulmate 2 yrs. ago and was still fretting, in denial and felt like a lost wandering soul. I have finally discovered the answers to my questions and made my peace and I am back in control of myself.. I am putting the pieces back together after realizing that for years I have been the only one investing in the relationship.. I can now move forward with confidence and self assurance thanks to your weekly readings and also the oracle cards that so often hit home just when I need it. Thank you again for your unselfish giving of yourself to help us all…

  • Holly Rose

    Oy! Your words always resonate in Divine timing! Yep – after sooo many years of “singledom” I thought I had finally met the “One”. I also thought I had worked through my relationship issues…but it seems there are still a few cracks in the mirror looking back! Thank goodness for Oracle School, Shared Wisdom and our Tribe who are supporting me as I delve even deeper these last 10 weeks! Much love and appreciation~ 🙏🏻

  • Abbie


    I went through months, if not years, of being unaware I was alone in relationship. This wasn’t the first time, and I can now see how I kept pulling the wool over my own eyes. I asked for time apart, and that pretty much ended things early last summer.

    I’m doing my work, reconnecting with my own inner being. I’m healing old wounds, releasing old beliefs, and getting ready to be ready to be ready for the New/Now.

    Today’s cards are The Arrow Master in protection, The Dragon’s Duel, and The Web Weaver.

    Much of the work is done. It’s a new day, new life, new me. So much is there for me, and I can feel it. I’m putting my arrows away, listening to myself, and in no hurry.

    Deep Gratitude, Dear One!

  • Jules

    This essay was meant for me today. I have had many ‘shadow teachers’ over the years, but losing my best girlfriend was the hardest. We supported each other through children’s illnesses and our own, took yoga and meditation classes together. I might add that I never saw it coming. She said that I reminded her of too much pain and off she went. I hope she is happy, but that hurt has not healed yet. Ouch!

  • Tara

    Thanks Colette for this blogg, I have just gone through this, luckily in just a short period of time, but surprisingly it hurt the same no matter how long you invest your time in it, I didn’t trust my instincts or the red flags enough even though I saw them and kept reminding myself of them, I know I will be stronger and walk my path and no one else’s.

  • Mindy

    I never knew soul-mate lessons would be my painful life patterning. At this phase of my life ( second Saturn return) I believe that it will take me some time to heal but I’m on the path to healing and abstaining from relationships until I feel stable enough to love and respect myself and not settle for any more of the same ( pain). My question is maybe I was never meant to have an easy relationship in this lifetime? My relationship with my mother was always as difficult as all my relationships…this is going to take some contemplation and lots of healing. Thanks for your blog it helps to know that I’m not the only one feeling this way about soul-mates.

  • Rose

    Wow this blog was perfect timing! After receiving the card a few times, I took it to be a different situation, was journaling what I had learned from past relationships
    When last week I was asked out on a date, everything I had written in my journal about the partner I would like to attract seemed to be manifest, someone open to spirituality ,who liked to dance and maybe into yoga, this guy was all of those things. I was drying my hair and kept hearing all that glitters, so I went to to Wisdom of the oracle cards, shuffled asking ,what do I need to know today about this connection, and OMG! I pulled that card out of the deck “ a need to see beyond the superficial…learn to recognize the masks people wear, and the motives underlying,
    “The real person becomes hidden behind sparkle and shine , look past the surface, use the eyes in your heart,
    I went in very open and quickly saw that all of the things I thought, were superficial as there was a very unhappy person inside and for 2 hours he talked about how bad things had been and was offensive about his x wife,
    I recognized my old self in him, and also the rescuer part of me of old…that wanted to help… I recognized it was Not for me and realized I Still had some healing from a relationship that I thought was the one, when journaling,my aha 💡moment I realized that the root cause of my wounds (abandonment) was when I had to go into hospital as a child and wasn’t told I was to have an operation, so when my parents went away I felt abandoned.. I had thought my relationship issues were something else, but after journaling the questions in your blog, all this stuff surfaced, so my pattern was reflected, I didn’t get hooked into a pattern of rescuing, I observed and reflected, this will SO help me move forwards, so the universe provided or I co created the perfect learning situation.
    Oracle school,personal mastery have changed me massively and I am continuing my journey and am in awe of how these synchronicities reveal what’s hidden 🗝unlocking the past.📦stepping outside of the box… perfect Divine timing,
    Thank you for your inspiration and wisdom Colette💖✨💖✨💖✨💖✨💖✨

  • Kelli

    Thank you Colette! The past two weeks have been super high emotional energy as I work thru deep seeded past trauma & pain, triggered by a soul mate. Learning the shadow side, dealing with the lessons needing to be learned & bringing it all up in the present to release & let go in knowing that I am my own value. So grateful for the spirit’s presence to gift me the healing. Listening to your tarot reading for this new week of my life has answered many personal questions and fitting more pieces into the puzzle. Blessing Colette! So grateful Spirit lead me to you!

  • Karen

    OH my, I’d like to write a long one, but I won’t. Mid Jan of 2017 my ‘soul mate’ GF hurt me so much. Then two more. I thought: what is going on? Then I realized that I was repeating repeating the same issues. 2018 has begun to be so abundant! Wonderful friendships have begun.
    I am so thankful for my 2017 teachers AND my in laws &( another time). But they taught me so much!

  • Anonymous

    Absolutely love this message. I never thought of a failed soul mate relationship in such a powerful way. I intend to spend time working through the questions and hope to gain some valuable insights so I can move on. Thank you so much.

  • Rolene

    Love this post SO much. I had that “he is the one” experience that brought me to my knees but also showed my my capacity for love and forgiveness and today we have an excellent friendship because I know my worth is not measured by how desirable I am to him but by the high standards I set for myself because I deserve them.

  • Chrissy Presto

    I love you Colette❣️ You always make me smile whenever I visit your website. I’m loving the Oracle Cards and looking forward on completing the rest

    Thank you for reminding me to always smile and expect the good


  • Mai

    I love it too how every time I pull a card from Postcards From Spirit always sync and wrap up what the cards from another deck, usually Wisdom of Oracles, say. I can hear “you can’t make this up” every time, but it’s so true.
    Thank you for these weekly readings Colette, what a great way to start the week!

  • Keith

    This week reading goes with the cards I pulled out from the Enchanted Map, but i have to look in side me, and it heard to see anything or hear anything. I see nothing like I’m sleeping. thanks again and have a great week

  • Ale

    Hi Colette, thank you for your program Messages From Spirit. My father passed away 2 months ago, and I had the opportunity to talk to him a month ago with the help of a medium. He told me he was murdered, and how they did it. He asked me to get his ashes from where they are right now. Apparently, his soul is not there, should I still go and get them? Is this crucial for him to rest in peace? Thank you for your advice. P.S. This was my first time working with a medium and your program helped me to process what the medium said about my father’s death.

    • Colette Baron-Reid

      honestly I am unclear about this. The soul drops the body and I don’t know why he’d want you to get his ashes unless he just wants you to have them? I don’t want to give you advice when I am not the one who connected. sending you lots of love

  • Courtney

    I’m going through this for the past 2 years and currently with my bf/ex (not sure which at this point, just know it isn’t working). Bare with me, bc I guess this hit a nerve in me. What makes me upset about this blog post is that I went through one of the most excruciatingly painful relationships of my life about 4 years ago. It was so detrimental, it almost ruined me for good. I was with this man for 5 years but it was horrendous. I thought I had learned most of what I needed to in that relationship and promised myself I’d never put myself through that again for anyone.

    I took 2 years off for myself, dusted myself off, got happy again and wasn’t even looking for someone when I met the person I’m with now. I made it a point to tell my current bf where I was at in life, what I needed to remain in a long term relationship etc. He agreed he wanted the same and it seemed we were head over heels on the same page. We dated long-distance for the 1st year with me visiting 1 week every month (he lived in the state next door to me). I thought he was very into me, until around the 8th month when something didn’t feel right. Turns out he was having emotional playtime online with some girl from his country for the entire 10 months I was with him. He claims bc it wasn’t full sex, I shouldn’t have a problem, even though we are exclusive. That was then. Now he admits it was a jerky move. Um….first MAJOR red flag. I gave him massive amounts of grief for it. It took a long time to trust him again but I felt like I had to go there and try it with him. He dropped the girl, took her off his social media etc. and a few months later, I moved in with him. Ever since then he isn’t anything like he said he would be, he always has an excuse as to why he doesn’t want to do things like, I don’t know, have sex?! That was a deal breaker for me in the past and I let him know it on our 2nd date so as not to waste both our times. I feel like I did everything to lay it all out on the table so as to avoid those kind of problems that happen when two people aren’t clear with each other.

    In this case, I guess this relationship is teaching me what the one before it did which is listen to my intuition and love myself more. I’m upset bc I didn’t feel like I had to go through all the things I did with the guy I live with now just to learn the same things again. I learned that in the relationship prior to this one. That’s what I don’t get. I feel like I could’ve been left alone and been just fine. I was bored before I met him that’s it. But I didn’t feel as unhappy as I do now. Yet we started in a way I was sure he was the one. I honestly don’t know that he ever was really into me or respects me. He claims he does, but we don’t even do the normal things people in relationships do. I’ve fought a lot with him over the way things have gone and it has affected our relationship for the worse. It just seems like I can’t get through to him and honestly in a way looking back, I’m not sure how we even attracted each other or stayed together for 3 years. I promised myself the next relationship I got into after that really bad one 5 years ago (luckily my other ones were much better in the past!) would only be for Thee One. That I didn’t want to waste my time but here I am again. Can’t spirit teach similar things without it having to hurt so bad? 🙂

  • Gunilla

    Thank you Colette, I needed those words RIGHT NOW!!!!!!

  • HealingBlessings

    This too has happened to me in the past. What I have learned is that there doesn’t always need to be a lesson in everything. Life is about unconditional love. Focusing When this happened to me with friends or one that I thought was a soulmate I have picked up the phone and simply said… Please forgive me.
    I’m so sorry.
    I love you.
    Thank you. This changed everything. Trust me, Love is the answer.

  • Andrea Keener

    Oh yes! I’ve been “left” and had to leave. But, each time I was on the outside of a relationship and had enough emotional distance, the lessons & blessings came! Growth came and replaced any blaming I was accessing. Thank you Colette!

  • Anonymous

    I find this topic amazing being that this morning I drew the soulmate card from the Wisdom of the Oracle deck #41. I had been pondering on the reading and then I ran across this on the web….wow
    Thanks for all your insight and knowlege that you so freely share. Thank You and know that you are truly loved!

    • Colette Baron-Reid

      aw! much love to you as well! happy that you find the things I share helpful! stay kind! 💗

Leave a Comment

Want more spiritual news and Oracle Card readings delivered to your inbox each week?


Start typing and press Enter to search