Why Self Love is Key to Developing Your Intuition!

Updated: April 23, 2018

Learn How With These Three Simple Steps

Are you sometimes really hard on yourself? Do you have a tendency to dwell on your weaknesses or mistakes instead of what you’re proud or happy about? Are you sometimes easily defeated by setbacks or criticism? Have you ever felt like you can’t openly ask for what you need? If you answered yes to any of these questions, it’s time for a self-esteem tune up!

Practicing self love is integral to enhancing your intuition. When you feel good about yourself, your intuitive filters are clear and you’re fully connected to the Divine. You’re able to cast your net into the world around you and thus move forward on your highest path. Conversely, when you don’t approve of yourself, your Goblin ego takes over and whispers more harsh and judging thoughts. Lack of self-esteem keeps you separated from the world around you and disconnected to your intuition. The more you disapprove of yourself, the more you end up stuck in a prison of your own making. And, you don’t want that!

Self-esteem and self love involves making a choice to value and approve of yourself—no matter what. Many of us are so used to negativity that we’re more aware of our weaknesses than our strengths. While self-esteem isn’t about thinking you’re perfect— because nobody is — it involves knowing that you’re worthy of love, acceptance, and happiness. When you’re comfortable in your skin, you know you don’t have to prove yourself to anyone. When you find that esteem from within, you’re also able to forgive yourself and others for mistakes. You don’t berate yourself for your weaknesses, rather you’re able to laugh at yourself!

Ultimately, when you love and approve of yourself, you’re awake and fully connected to the world around you. When you make a choice to cultivate your self-esteem, you strengthen your intuition and step onto your highest path.

Steps for More Self Love:

Give Yourself a Pat on the Back!:  Self love involves celebrating your strengths and achievements. So, make a LONG list of all the things you’ve ever done that make you proud. Include even the things that seem “small,” such as anything you’ve done for another person, how well you manage your time or money, etc. Then include all the attributes and qualities you have that also make you feel proud. Look at the list everyday this week and give yourself a pat on the back!

Take Charge of Your Mind!:  Stop letting your mind dictate negative thoughts to you. Remember this is just your wounded small self trying to rain on your parade and get you in separation mode. So, pay close attention to how you talk to yourself and keep negative chatter to a minimum. Anytime you catch yourself thinking something that is disapproving, take a deep breath and challenge it. For example, let’s say you find yourself thinking you can’t do something because it scares you. Catch the thought and ask yourself to find examples of when you did something that scared you. Likewise, don’t feed your mind with gossip, judgment, anger and so on. This is also a good time to use Oracle Cards to have a new dialog with the Universe. The cards bring a totally new perspective that changes the directions of your thoughts.

Meditate: Quieting your mind by using your breath as a focal point is an extremely powerful way to stop negative chatter and connect with your intuition. So,  breathe deeply and naturally – imagine – in- out – in – out and even if you only do this for just 5 minutes in the morning and again in the evening, this will have a profound impact on your self-esteem as you stop the cycle of negative chatter.

And, please share your thoughts on self-esteem and approval! I’d love to hear what you’re most proud of—remember we’re all connected and learning from one another. And, I’d also like to invite you to let me know if there is a subject you’d like for me to write a blog on, as I am raring to write something meaningful for you. Just don’t ask me to write about cooking. (not my strong suit) Lololol

All my love always,




Anything is possible when you open your connection to the Universe



Showing 45 comments
  • Debbie

    Hello Dear Colette,

    I know I create my own reality, I am wondering if you would share your wisdom on allowing a loyal loving partnership? I have a wonderful man in my life, however in my deep fear of being abandoned for someone else still lurks and I am ready to let that go…. so so ready. I thought I had dealt with it and it is rearing it’s ugly head. I want to love myself and stop comparing and freaking myself out. Thank you so much

    • Colette Baron-Reid

      great topic @

      • Beth Guzman

        This is my first weekly email from you. I was gifted with the Shaman Oracle cards about a month ago. They spoke to me from the very beginning. I think I need to learn how to ask better questions.
        You mentioned a PDF on your website about asking better questions. I’m going to go try to find it. Thank you so much. You have lovely fun energy.

      • Rubilynn Tucker

        Thank you for all that u are doing! A lighthouse in trouble waters we are what we focus on. The new cards pull so many things together openness and getting out of our on way I’m so thankful to have your connection. My life was truly impacted by Louise Hay they say when one door closes another opens thank you for being that door.

    • Deb

      Well, Deb read my mind – and I’m another Deb with a very similar request. I think I have a good understanding of today’s blog and self-love in general. But your posts lately have helped me look deeper and I think my block is feeling unworthy of a relationship. I have been taking a look back and trying to see what my pattern is. I think it comes down to feeling like no one is going to choose me, much less stay with me. None of my relationships have worked out, so that would make sense – but I remember back to my first serious relationship and I had that fear even then. I was married for 16 years, divorced now for 10 and have not had a healthy long term relationship since becoming single again. By the way – just for reference, my parents had a very loving, wonderful marriage and were together until my dad passed away, so I had a very healthy model of love growing up. My oracle card readings have been so helpful, by the way, I love working with them!

  • Nita Allsooo

    Thank you…your Oracle cards have been my connection to Source for many months and I really appreciate them

  • Anonymous

    I have been proud to step out of the box and put my true self out there with the completion of my book, past cable TV show, and radio appearances.

  • Beverley

    Amazing read today, thank you Collette, with blessings ❤️

  • carol

    that was really interesting, I some times find, if I put on nice clothing and go to go out of the house I have to change. because I am trying to learn how to take compliments. I have now started to take small steps by putting on mascara and lip gloss to protect my lips but also it adds a bit of colour..I was in a abusive relationship and still building up.. but I know deep inside I am a strong person. Love your cards and your blog.

  • Lee

    This helps as I’m getting older and was recently let go from my job so it’s really easy to think it’s you and not the ass you were working for! But you could take a stab at how to navigate the workforce after 50, not getting many bites!

  • Pirkko

    I am most proud of my children – and myself; I have managed to raise them so that they will survive in life 🙂 I would like to read about fear – or to be more precise – how to get rid of fears so that I can move forward in my life.

  • Kathleen

    OMG! Thank you for making the point about doing what you are scared of. I am a musician and have been judging myself for having performance anxiety for all my life, rather than for all the music I have shared despite being scared. What a revelation to me! Perfect timing, as letting go of being “hard” on myself is what I am working through at this time. Blessings and gratitude!

    • Colette Baron-Reid

      thanx for sharing!

      • Lauren

        Debbie: …because Colette is busy (understatement) and may not get to the topic of relationship with a partner for awhile….this topic has been covered very well by Laura Berman in her book “Quantum Love”

  • Courtney

    Thank you so much for your amazing insight. You are an inspiration to us all. I own a couple of your card decks and they help my life to make sense. I am so much so much happier when I can understand the situations in my life.

  • Bradley

    Self love is something I try to work on everyday. I have found Louis Hays’ affirmations extremely helpful. I have been practicing them for years. That is part of the reason I love The Good Tarot so much. An affirmational tarot deck? Brilliant! A topic that would be interesting to me is your process when creating a new deck(I know you can’t give too much away). I have a 40 card deck almost finished. I guess I’m just interested in the creative process. I am really enjoying Mystical Shaman(now that I’ve had time to work with it properly). Thanks for all you do!

    • Colette Baron-Reid

      you are so so welcome. Glad you are enjoying the Mystical Shaman deck. My process is so personal and I spent years developing the template so I don’t think I will offer that up BUT in each deck’s guidebook I share a little of it. But that said I will think about this!

  • Joanna K.

    My darlin Colette,

    Thank you for your blogs, I immensely appreciate them and any insight you may have to brings us all a little closer to our divine “higher” selves.

    I’d love to hear more about your thoughts on encountering “bad” circumstances in our lives and how to make peace with or make the best of what we thought was a terrible circumstances. I believe “everything happens for a reason” and that gets me through things. Though It’s easy to look at the good and be grateful but how do we make peace with the “bad stuff”. If you have any thoughts on this, please share your with us all ❤️

    P.s. I just bought one of your tarot decks for the first time and am so excited to start using them. 😄👍💫

    Love you!
    Joanna 😘

    • Colette Baron-Reid

      thanx for sharing and great blog idea xoxoxo love that you got one of my decks!

  • Courtney

    Dearest Colette,

    This blog couldn’t have come at a better time when I needed to read these things.

    I’ve had a devastating heartbreak this week and what makes it worse was it was perhaps something I could’ve prevented. But because I have not felt good about myself in 2 years or so, I lost myself in anger. I still have love for the person I got angry with but I didn’t have as much of a hold on myself and my esteem. Within the heartbreak I had an aha! moment of why it is I’ve been able to be triggered by others for so long. I realized the core of the issue and when I saw that….my goodness. It made me think of all the situations I could have handled differently, more mature, more from a place of self love and listening to my intuition etc. that’s a hard thing to swallow.

    But as Im sitting in my pain currently, I realize I abandoned myself along time ago when others brought me to feel I was not worthy and shouldn’t see myself in the best light. It started with the hyper criticism of my mother and kept going as I lived until it built up into the crescendo that’s happening right now. I’ve tried to run from the feelings that have been thrown my way and all I did was run from myself. I have a bit to go but I see where Im enough as I am although I still feel others judgements of me, which isn’t easy but no matter. I deserve love as I am. It’s taken me this long to realize I don’t need to do anything to prove I deserve love, but how many of us have done this and felt this way right?

    Im exhausted with trying to prove myself to others and it sometimes backfires because people eventually are going to think what they want anyway. I need to invest more in myself then worrying about the petty party out there lol

    Though I wish I did not have to go through such a painful heartache to get here, because I feel because my esteem was not its best or I didn’t know better, and have attracted heartbreak in the past. I don’t think I have it in me for another one as this one is affecting me across the board; job, living etc. But certainly, lesson learned that if one doesn’t invest love in oneself and listen to your higher wisdom, you end up doing questionable things, making decisions not always in your best interest and sometimes not seeing others for who they are as well. It is the most vital tool any person with a heart can have and the most important to teach others to reach their highest and best good.

    As for next topics Id be interested in knowing how to break the cycle of indecisiveness or when you’re not sure or don’t feel ideas are flooding your intuition when you need them to be, how would we access them?
    Blessings and sunshine to you Colette! 🙂

    • Colette Baron-Reid

      great blog idea and sending yo a big hug honey you are not alone!!

      • Courtney

        Xoxo Big hugs and big love back to you Colette ❤️
        I am grateful for your work!

  • Kathryn Gorman Lovelady

    What a fabulous reading! Miigwetch & n’ya:weh.

  • Deepaa

    Can you please write a blog on “How my journey as a living being started”. Thank you.

  • Anonymous

    Awesome Collette, thank you for the reminder to be brave and just do it. meditating is a good routine in need to get back into.

  • Tracy Leggett

    Awesome, thank you for the reminder Collette. I need to get back to meditating. it also encourages me as I am taking a huge step in approaching a guy that I like and hope it is reciprocal. only time will tell, but I am making the brave move and have approached him first. fingers crossed. T

  • Anonymous

    Thank you so much for your blog! I found it very helpful and insightful, you always manage to give us actual and real tools that we can put into practice right away!

  • Polly

    Your blog is great! I always find it very felpful and insightful, you manage to give us tools that are both efective and practic and that we can actually put into practice in a really simple way! xoxo
    I would like to read more about this same topic please! thank you! Xoxo

  • Kris

    Hi, Colette~ I have and absolutely love several of your card decks. I have The Good Tarot, Wisdom of the Oracle, Postcards from Spirit
    and your new Mystical Shaman deck. Really nice, by the way! I have been growing spiritually in leaps and bounds and just having a wonderful time. I have recently been doing my best to overcome my thoughts. I realized that I used my thoughts as an escape, sort of, is the only way I can describe it, so I’ve been trying to turn them around to be more positive and manifesting things, such as a wonderful relationship, to better hear my intuition, and to just know my Source on a deeper level. But it seems like some of the teachings I’m being led to are regarding being in the ‘now’ and not having any thoughts at all. I get confused sometimes! Are we supposed to think or not?! I know that sounds silly but you always explain things so clearly and I really understand you easily. Can you explain how we are to manifest things in our lives without thinking about them? Or is it really okay to imagine what it would be like to have a wonderful man sitting right here next to me, loving spiritual stuff the same as me. (I hope saying ‘spiritual stuff’ isn’t too lame, but I think you know what I mean!) Thank you so much and I really enjoy everything you do. I have several of your books, too! ~Kris

    • Colette Baron-Reid

      I believe we need to think for sure but more importantly we need to intend and imagine. Then surrendering the form to the universe and being grateful in advance is what I know works. Spiritual stuff is a good way to explain all of this for sure why not ?

  • Rose

    Loved reading this blog as my theme in class this week is loving kindness,
    I am proud of bringing 2 children up alone after an abusive marriage,being in a refuge, showed me I wanted a better life for myself and my children.
    I’ve always said in difficult times, “I’m being tested for Higher things”
    I can’t remember when or how that statement arrived in my mind, but it’s kept me going through the hard times, but you know,I am actually SO proud of YOU Colette after what you’ve been through and in adversity the gifts circumstances gave you,
    You ARE an inspiration and in the short time I’ve been in School, what a difference it’s made to me, and all the people I meet.
    You continue to inspire, to create, to learn and so down to earth and fun. That makes learning so much easier!
    I know you’ve found strength in connection with Spirit
    I would love to hear how you know you want to birth a new deck, is it guidance from Spirit, or do you see images, a blog about tapping into the creative process would be good. Having said that I’ve started I guess with the living oracle guided by your questions but would be interested in any methods to creating with Spirit in an arty way
    💖🙏🏼✨love and Gratitude for All you share⭐️💐💖

  • Michelle

    Hi Colette!
    I love your energy and the way you can speak right to people where they are. There are so many people out there who do things similar to you but it is not the same to me! I really connect with the things you say and I love your oracle decks!! they are so beautifully illustrated. The pictures really speak to me and the messages are always right on target! Thank you so much for all you do!

  • Renee Sugar

    Thank you Colette for this topic.
    Recently I noticed a sign in a store. Usually that means to pay attention. It read; “ I don’t make mistakes; just variations”. Well I loved this!! Almost as much as the term “risk-takes”. As someone who has aimed for perfection most of my life; until I discovered that perfection wasn’t attainable; Always measuring and evaluating my performance and judging this by the end result was a
    way to always find fault and miss the mark leading to self-critique, low self-esteem and often feelings of inadequacy , or less than worthy. It is noble to aim toward excellence, motivated by the intention to do my very best whatever the task. This has led me to explore so many interesting doorways throughout my life. What I have learned is that the end result is not the measuring gauge to use. Acknowledging the process, and directing my attention to the HOW, is a really important facet of the sense of pride that is part of doing something well. It isn’t about how many people approve or disapprove. Not about applause; or recognition. One of my favorite quotes

    “ When an archer is shooting for nothing, he/she has all of his skills. When he/she shoots for a brass buckle he/she is already nervous. The prize divides him. He cares. He thinks more of winning than of shooting; and his need to win drains him of his power. “ Shunryu Suzuki

  • Jennifer

    Hello, Colette! I only recently came to know of you through your show on Amazon. That eventually led me to Hay House and to your lovely new Mystical Shaman deck, which I now own. This is all so new to me, and yet also so familar, as I never thought of myself as intuitive. The only time I visited a church growing up was when someone was getting married or buried, so I’ve never been a religious person, but always a spiritual one. It was from my father who always longed to know more about and connect with his Native American roots that my spiritual views were first shaped, so the Mystical Shaman deck spoke to me immediately. I have always spoken to God and knew that I was heard, but the oracle cards have given me a new perspective on how I view the conversations I’ve been having with God all my life.

    I think a helpful blog topic that might cover a lot of the issues addressed in the comments here would be to cover the difficulties we all seem to have with receiving. I don’t relate directly to the types of relationship difficulties that a lot of people here would like you to address, but my own sense is that many of us here are probably good at giving, but struggle more so with being open to receiving that which is given back to us in return. I know this is something I struggle with, even though I feel I have a very good sense of self-worth and self-forgiveness. I discovered your “St. Francis Prayer Meditation,” which I try to listen to every day. Even though I always add to the prayer that the actions of “me” and “I” are as a conduit of Spirit, I feel that my reflections on this prayer also may be keeping me in an unbalanced mindset that strongly favors giving over receiving. So even though I do feel worthy to receive blessings for myself, how do I learn to hold on to some of those blessings without feeling the desire to constantly pass them on to others? I am very good at self-forgiveness (I think), but I think there is still always a tug of universal guilt in knowing that there are others less fortunate. How do we find the balance of knowing how to be both good servants to others through Spirit and also good recipients of the blessings of Spirit when they are directed back to us?

    In “One Spirit Medicine,” Villoldo (whom I’ve also just discovered) offers an answer to this by explaining that when we recognize we are all part of One Spirit, we can come to realize that focusing on ourselves isn’t selfish but is actually an act of giving back to the One Spirit that we are all a part of. What are some things that all of us could do to internalize this message and be more open to receiving?

    Colette, you are radiant and beautiful and if you actually read all of this then God bless you for taking the time. You are truly appreciated.

  • Alvise

    Dear Colette, I am currently living a difficult moment, as in I need to learn how to live my life without a person who meant so much to me. Was wondering if you could share your wisdom and teach some steps to help me (as well as many others) getting through the loss of a loved one. Death seems to be still a topic that scares most, me included. I would be very grateful for your suggestion. Many thanks.
    PS – loving your oracle cards and your work. 🙂👍

  • Juanita "Abby"

    I am most proud of my ability to recognize that my spirit is strong and that it is time for my ego to move over so that my spirit can drive.

    A subject t I would love to hear you chime in on is “Permission”. Recently, I have begun to realize that I have an issue with needing permission to xyz. It is a very deep thing that may even go back to my childhood. I am searching for a way to either manage this or blow it out of the water all together. Your thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

  • Lisa

    Those are great tips, Colette! I so often forget the pat-your-back tip and am only looking at the big pile I didn’t get accomplished! Thanks!

    ….and I can’t WAIT to see you in BASEL!!!!


  • Mary Joe Nicosia

    Colette, YOU ARE LOVE! ALL WARM AND FUZZY! You are so human! And that is what draws me to you and your tribe! This love opens my heart with the possibility that I DO BELONG IN YOUR TRIBE! Self esteem is in short order now, however you shine the light of love for me to try to find the path back to loving myself! Thank you! BLESSINGS AND GREAT HEALTH TO YOU AND MARC AND YOUR FUR BABIES!
    Namaste, Mary Joe

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