What do you see when you look into the mirror of love?
Yesterday I was out doing errands around town when I looked down and noticed one of those little sweetheart candies in the parking lot near my car. Curious to see what it said, I peered down to make out the faint pink letters. It said: Soul Mate. As I was driving home, I thought about the many soul mates I’ve had in my life (including my amazing husband Marc) and what I’ve learned from all of those relationships. Even in the midst of the letdowns and struggles, my relationships have invited me to take a hard look in the mirror and to grow, heal, and forgive.
All of your relationships are a reflection of who you are and who you could be. So, if you want to improve the relationship you have or find great love, you must take a close look in the mirror, be rigorously honest about what you see and what you’ve hidden and forgive.
Forgiveness is truly one of the best ways to open yourself up to more love. If you’re feeling any shame, bitterness, resentment, confusion, anger, impatience, or loneliness, those feelings exist inside of you, and like weeds that overtake a garden, they can choke the life out of what you desire for yourself.
Yes you may have had good reason to feel the pain and subsequent emotions, you may genuinely have experienced hardship, or hurt, or even abuse but when the emotions remain unprocessed, you become their hostage and so you retell the story anchoring it even deeper. Of course, you bring this naturally to your present circumstances- you can’t help it because they become so ingrained in your psyche you expect to see evidence supporting these ideas everywhere. This is the work we all need to consider.
So, if you still harbor any unresolved feelings about a previous partner, your current relationship, or even yourself, you will reanimate and energize the same experience over and over. To not forgive means that you’ll continue to re-feel those feelings. If you’re human I know that you may have had painful experiences when it comes to relationships. You may have been hurt and treated unfairly and wonder how on earth you can really forgive that situation or person. But, remember that forgiveness is not about condoning someone or something. It’s about releasing yourself from repeating the same feelings over and over. Forgiveness is about YOU! And it’s one of the keys to having an amazing relationship.
Romantic relationships are ignited by your soul. They are spiritual experiences meant to help you grow and heal. All the people on your path are teachers. So, if you’re judging any relationship as failed, I’d like to invite you to look at it as a teacher and healer for your soul.
What can you learn from your past and present partners? When you look into the mirror, who were you in that relationship? Who are you now? How can you grow from the relationship?
Remember that time is not linear. You can go back and heal the past. You can change your perception and experience gratitude for the present. Relationships have a way of reopening old wounds that haven’t been healed. The more we forgive, the more we raise our vibration to a more healthy and loving relationship.
A good relationship will support your growth and help your soul heal. Much as our culture loves fairy tales and romance novels, there will be challenges and times when life isn’t so rose-colored. Good conflict helps you grow. It’s also important to focus on accepting your partner the way he/she is right now rather than try to change them. Yes, you may not like the way he dresses or that she doesn’t share your hobbies, but love is about accepting someone.
If you’re single, and you want to be partnered, ask yourself if you have someone to forgive. What can you learn from your experience with them? Use your intuition on this. Maybe there were red flags that you didn’t want to see. But, you can vow to keep your eyes open for red flags now and trust your instincts. And when you see all the green flags, but ‘he’s just not your type’, ask yourself, how has choosing ‘your type’ worked out for you. If that’s the case, time to really reflect to see where ‘your type’ has gotten you thus far.
Also, remember to forgive yourself. You cannot change the past or change who you were in the past. Send love to the “you” who experienced that situation and recognize that you did the best you could at the time. Love really is the answer to everything.
“ Anything is possible when you open your connection to the Universe”
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