How to Open Yourself Up to More Love!

Updated: June 4, 2018

What do you see when you look into the mirror of love?

Yesterday I was out doing errands around town when I looked down and noticed one of those little sweetheart candies in the parking lot near my car. Curious to see what it said, I peered down to make out the faint pink letters. It said: Soul Mate. As I was driving home, I thought about the many soul mates I’ve had in my life (including my amazing husband Marc) and what I’ve learned from all of those relationships. Even in the midst of the letdowns and struggles, my relationships have invited me to take a hard look in the mirror and to grow, heal, and forgive.

All of your relationships are a reflection of who you are and who you could be. So, if you want to improve the relationship you have or find great love, you must take a close look in the mirror, be rigorously honest about what you see and what you’ve hidden and forgive.

Forgiveness is truly one of the best ways to open yourself up to more love. If you’re feeling any shame, bitterness, resentment, confusion, anger, impatience, or loneliness, those feelings exist inside of you, and like weeds that overtake a garden, they can choke the life out of what you desire for yourself.

Yes you may have had good reason to feel the pain and subsequent emotions, you may genuinely have experienced hardship, or hurt, or even abuse but when the emotions remain unprocessed, you become their hostage and so you retell the story anchoring it even deeper. Of course, you bring this naturally to your present circumstances- you can’t help it because they become so ingrained in your psyche you expect to see evidence supporting these ideas everywhere. This is the work we all need to consider.

So, if you still harbor any unresolved feelings about a previous partner, your current relationship, or even yourself, you will reanimate and energize the same experience over and over. To not forgive means that you’ll continue to re-feel those feelings. If you’re human I know that you may have had painful experiences when it comes to relationships. You may have been hurt and treated unfairly and wonder how on earth you can really forgive that situation or person. But, remember that forgiveness is not about condoning someone or something. It’s about releasing yourself from repeating the same feelings over and over. Forgiveness is about YOU! And it’s one of the keys to having an amazing relationship.

Romantic relationships are ignited by your soul. They are spiritual experiences meant to help you grow and heal. All the people on your path are teachers. So, if you’re judging any relationship as failed, I’d like to invite you to look at it as a teacher and healer for your soul.

What can you learn from your past and present partners? When you look into the mirror, who were you in that relationship? Who are you now? How can you grow from the relationship?

Remember that time is not linear. You can go back and heal the past. You can change your perception and experience gratitude for the present. Relationships have a way of reopening old wounds that haven’t been healed. The more we forgive, the more we raise our vibration to a more healthy and loving relationship.

A good relationship will support your growth and help your soul heal. Much as our culture loves fairy tales and romance novels, there will be challenges and times when life isn’t so rose-colored. Good conflict helps you grow. It’s also important to focus on accepting your partner the way he/she is right now rather than try to change them. Yes, you may not like the way he dresses or that she doesn’t share your hobbies, but love is about accepting someone.

If you’re single, and you want to be partnered, ask yourself if you have someone to forgive. What can you learn from your experience with them? Use your intuition on this. Maybe there were red flags that you didn’t want to see. But, you can vow to keep your eyes open for red flags now and trust your instincts.  And when you see all the green flags, but ‘he’s just not your type’, ask yourself, how has choosing ‘your type’ worked out for you. If that’s the case, time to really reflect to see where ‘your type’ has gotten you thus far.

Also, remember to forgive yourself. You cannot change the past or change who you were in the past. Send love to the “you” who experienced that situation and recognize that you did the best you could at the time. Love really is the answer to everything.


Anything is possible when you open your connection to the Universe




Showing 32 comments
  • Nancy

    Colette ,
    Thank you for touching my heart and soul yet again with this love, forgiveness, relationship blog. I love sharing your work, it shines so bright. I knew I wanted to teach more than Asana and your work is like the icing on my chocolate cake.
    Nancy Drope

    • Colette Baron-Reid

      love to you xoxoxo

    • Joanna

      This blog and card reading for this week sounds like it was written specifically for me, so accurate to what is happening in my life right now… Thanks for the wonderful advice 🙂
      Love Love to You…

  • Anonymous

    Love the weekly posts

  • Lauren

    You nailed this one perfectly!……now if we can just get everyone working on themselves there would be more Love in our world

  • Anonymous

    Hi Collette,

    You’re Great & your cards are beautiful! I bought your Mystical Shaman Deck & the cards are amazing. Haven’t used them in readings yet, but looking forward to doing so. My Personal picks today were: Exchanging Gifts – The Spiral – Higher Power.

    BTW: For some reason I wasn’t able to scroll down to read the card meanings using the browser “Opera”. I had to go to “Explorer” and continue picking your cards until I got the same cards to see my reading.

    Many Blessings to you.

  • Autumn

    Thanks you for this, Colette. I’ve been ‘taking a nap’ (oracle card’s recommendation) the past week from continually worrying about a relationship. On the tails of last week’s post about cledons, I asked for a general message on whatever I most needed to know – maybe it would be about the relationship, maybe something else in life. Not much popped up until last night, and in the span of 12 hours this post is the fourth in a series of messages, all different but all aligned, that are helping me reinterpret my understanding of the relationship and redirect my focus toward acceptance, forgiveness, and moving forward.

    Thanks again for sharing these words with us.

  • Trissy

    Thanks again for sharing what I needed to hear!!
    My 16 y.o. daughter and I have a typical mother-daughter-love-hate relationship, and her father and I are divorced so a little more drama there, but she’s a good kid. This past weekend, it’s summer break now, I allowed her to go to Daytona with a group of kids and stay in a hotel. I was a wreck all weekend, recalling my good old days spring-break-party-style in Daytona. So I went into a closet to find two dusty photo albums of my adventures between the ages of 15-24, which I had been hiding all these years. To my surprise, I was actually happy to go thru them. When looking at the photos thru my daughter’s eyes, I was not the “awful” person I had chose to remember, I was just a kid having fun. And my ex, her father, wasn’t so “horrible” either. There was a lot of good in those photos, the opposite of what I had chosen to remember! I felt a forgiveness of both my younger self and my ex-husband that I hadn’t yet experienced , and I have a whole new level of trust in my daughter. It felt like a heavy cloak falling off of me, it was very profound. I hope to have a much better relationship with her, seeing her as a reflection of my good, instead of my mistakes. Love and hugs

  • Suzanne lussier

    I Picked the same Card “here and now” this morning. I love your readings they are accurate.

  • Keith

    Thanks for the reading of the cards, I cant wait to see were this week takes me.

  • Cheree Pearse

    Thank you Collette
    I love reading your blogs, and your timing is always perfect.

  • Bunny

    Thanks Collette, the message felt like it was just for me! My 3 are Deep Knowing, By the Book and A Leg Up. I’ve gotten By the book for the last 3 weeks. Can you tell me where to find a good reference for the Laws of the Universe?

  • Judith

    You are Superb!

  • Judith

    You are Superb!

  • Anonymous

    Thank you for your amazing blog and practical oracle advice. You are amazing!
    Onward and upward!


  • Barbara

    Thank you for an amazing blog post that just resonated with me at this specific point in time. Sometimes the things we know, are aware of and have heard before come to us in a new way and penetrates deeper than before. That is what I felt right now with ‘retelling a story’ and ‘anchoring the pain and hurt’. I am ready to heal and let go of the old story. Thank you for your help through this blog post.

    PS. While reading this post I have been listening to ‘wind chimes music’ on spotify in shuffle mode and just as I was writing this answer a pop song that is a direct reminder of an ex suddenly played! Coincidence? I think not. And now spotify is back on wind chimes and healing music 😁

  • Ethel

    Thank you for your Article on ‘forgiveness’.yes I must go back in my past and forgive!!!

  • Anonymous

    This is very hard to do but I really believe you’ve made an amazing point.

  • Alex

    Great and timely blog post! Thank you….. 🙂

  • Nicole

    Colette this is so good. In 2012 I met a man who I swore was my Twin Flame and the breakup was devastating. I felt humiliated and ashamed that I didn’t protect myself more during the relationship…soon to leave my 30’s, I’m still single and never yet married but some study of astrology taught me I signed up to learn fairness in relationships, trusting myself to take care of myself and loving myself in relationships. TW was my greatest teacher and the impetus for me diving deep into allowing myself happiness, appreciating myself and valuing myself.

  • Renee Sugar

    “Yes it’s true, I am happy to be stuck with you “. “If you can’t be with the one you love; love the one you are with. Here I go again with lyrics, but they pop into my head all the time!! It has been a life long journey to get to know this soul I live with called me. So many layers, and facets to understand and become aware of the why? and how? they cohabit my mind, body and spirit; sometimes consciously and
    often unconsciously. The most difficult aspect of forgiveness is about directing the self-compassion , self-awareness, respect, and loving kindness first toward the self. Then and only then is there the opportunity to extend these practices to others. It is not a realistic prospect to expect someone to understand us when that awareness hasn’t been nurtured from the inside out. As a child of sexual abuse, and the daughter of an alcoholic, I was fortunate early in my life to align myself with an Al-Anon group where I began to listen to others, and see glimmerings of my shadow, and critic all around the circle. What an eye-opening experience that was. In my family home everyday was a masquerade where we didn’t know what would happen next. Trying to maintain this façade of all is well when it surely was nowhere near that, was an exhausting exercise in frustration, anger and resentment. I have heard depression described as anger turned inward.
    The journey to discover this soul that had been buried under the weight of so much shame, and self-punishment has brought me to a place where I am happy to be “stuck with me” and I have grown to appreciate the many qualities that are assets and character building. I haven’t met the love in a special relationship, but I have grown to celebrate, and understand what drives me, what inspires me, what angers me and why. No longer a stranger to myself, nor estranged, I have become my best friend, and ally. My aim is to extend what I have learned to others and to grow in compassionate awareness of others limitations, and humanity without the
    judgment or harsh criticism that I once directed toward my actions, behavior.
    “Let it begin with me.”

  • Bradley

    That was beautiful. Thank you so much<3

  • Karen

    A few years ago I was so miserable and angry at everyone who hurt me. Through a lot of work, I forgave myself and everything that happened between me and everyone . There were valuable lessons that took a rather long time for me to realize. I didn’t have the tools.
    I’m thankful for them and today, I have my ears and eyes and heart open now for the lessons. I feel I’m a much better person; I’m so happy, content and peaceful. I’m the person I am today because of the past. I am receiving loving relationships that are real and genuine.
    Hope everyone has a wonderful week

  • Trace

    Reading your blog was awesome. I found a small red velvet heart one day. I had gotten out of my vehicle and dropped a box of items off. I didn’t see a red heart. When i turned around & went back to my vehicle i noticed the red velvet toy heart. I looked around to see if someone had dropped it, a child maybe, it looked like a toy. I picked it up and said thank you. A red velvet heart just for me! Love! A reminder to love myself, from my inner child?!

    To Colette & staff

    ‘To you from me with Love’

    British Columbia

  • Becca


    Thank you so much for writing this blog post. I really needed it! I have been working on an intimacy and relationship “inventory” recently. As I review my past behaviors and character defects, I’ve been really, really struggling to move past my shame and self-criticism. It’s hard work!

    Thank you for this message and reminding me that it’s okay to make amends with myself too and forgive!


  • Tricia

    This is really one of your Best Messages Ever!!
    Who doesn’t have someone to forgive, including forgiving ourselves. Realizing that these relationships were all for our Soul’s growth is a first step in forgiving.
    Thank you for making this all so beautifully clear, in a loving way.
    Colette, YOU are so loved!!

    Tricia from the Catskill Mountains (near Woodstock & Omega!)

  • Anonymous

    Colette, your blog this week touched me deeply. Thank you for reminding us that we can heal the past & send love to our younger selves for what we went through. Maybe they’re doing the best they can under the circumstances, is something I would think myself of others, but I wasn’t that genereous to myself. Suck it up, be strong, don’t go down with the ship, was my mantra. Your lessons about shifting perspectives & being compassionate with ourselves is so healing, so loving. I thank you! xo Deb

  • Christopher

    Only you can fix you. To empower is to not give away your power to someone or something that will never manifest. For the last six years, I deluded myself into the belief that I had met my soulmate and that somehow, it would simply manifest itself, when in reality this was never the case. What the situation did show me is that there is no easy fixes in the ‘cards’ or a psychics ‘word’ on the situation. No, it was a a wake up call for me to fix me by looking deep into myself and find room to forgive myself, and others.

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