Shine on Behalf of the Divine!

I’m still coming down off the gratitude cloud from last weekend’s OraclePalooza Virtual, and equally swimming in the searing truth of my best friend Doug’s crossing over the rainbow bridge a few short weeks ago. The entire weekend I was in two places as I stepped into one of many “firsts” without him. Being my wingman and emcee at OraclePalooza was the thing he loved best. It was strange to be without him although it was an important new beginning and I felt his spirit the entire time. 

I miss the brave, real, loving human though. In the flesh with me backstage eating gluten-free snacks and giggling about how lucky we were to do what we did, and him crying reminding me that not everyone’s stuff was for me to take on. God, I love that man. What a pair we were. 

Doug was with me for 16 deep meaningful and fun years of friendship, but what made it special is that we shared a mission. Those kinds of friends are gifts from the Divine.

Doug had a Facebook group for people who wanted to support him during his journey with cancer and he asked me if I would join it even though we never used it to communicate. He touched a lot of people. When I took myself out I thought how beautiful that my friend truly was, someone who knew how to shine on behalf of the Divine—the subject of this week’s reading. 

His podcast, Brave Real Loving Human, was to be a launching pad for a new brand of thought leadership. He would stay on as faculty with me and grow this idea. His aspirations came from his own myriad life experiences of self-acceptance and support for those struggling with their identity. The LGBTQIA community has a new shining star in the sky and we all share a bright blue guardian angel named Doug to call on. 

I talk a lot about “this and that” being true, “both, and” and lately I have been really living it. Maybe you have experienced a loss during the pandemic, of a person close to you, or perhaps you have tuned into the grief that accompanies great change that our world is calling for. Regardless, there is something transformative about the pain if you allow it to break you open instead of finding a way to escape it. It will come back to visit you anyway. 

Grief is never a one and done thing and doesn’t care about your schedule or your plans.  Life is messy. And still, we must take each step in the service we’re called to do no matter what. 

His memorial service was this past Saturday and it marked for me something profound and beautiful. I know I am moving forward with the spirit and legacy of this extraordinary man that I was so lucky to call my soul brother. Truly not a throwaway term or label. My feelings now are deep and private although you have to give some of that up when you become a public person, which is why I wrote this blog today instead of a chirpy “we can do it!!” message, or to share my book list of what has changed me this year. 

As I begin getting ready for a new semester of Oracle School, supporting people to discover their unique authentic inspired lives, to learn to let go of the stories that hold us hostage to the past, I only hope to be as real, brave, loving and human, as he was. 

 

 

 

Showing 83 comments
  • Dawn
    Reply

    That was beautiful. Thanks for sharing. There is so much grief and uncertainty in the world causing great sadness and loneliness.
    I will keep you in my prayers. I feel prayer and trying to get through each day is what keeps me going.
    Blessings to you always.

    • Anonymous
      Reply

      Truly beautiful and so from your soul xxxxx

      • Suzie Mapp
        Reply

        Your words have so resonated with me Colette ❤ I’m truly grateful for all you do for us your teaching and wisdom is so welcomed❤ I will keep you in my Prayers beautiful Colette your Light is shining so bright❤

        • jolanta
          Reply

          ❤❤❤

    • Kristine Valenti
      Reply

      I’m sorry for your loss. My friends passed away this weekend and I lost my best dog friend Moka on 6/3, one month after he was born 15 years ago. I’m doing my best with God to serve others, pray for all, and bring friendship and kindness to the world around me…

      God Bless you and all to find strength in these difficult times. 💗🤗🙏

    • Marie Kovitch
      Reply

      Thinking of you all ~ Oraclepalooza and Doug’s memorial and another beginning of oracle school that is brand new from other years ~ it’s a lot at one time, so much, and I send my love to all who were touched by Doug’s compassion and acceptance and to all who do so much to help us transform our lives through your OS. ♥️♥️♥️

    • Maria
      Reply

      Although I first met him during Personal Mastery in 2018, he left his mark as a caring, knowledgeable, and profound being. He was able to clarify where I may have been stuck. May he Rest In Peace and continue to share his light with us. Colette, thank you for sharing this blog. 🙏

      • Catherine Dianne Mini Jacques
        Reply

        A wise, funny and kind man. Met him and Cynthia Fontain when I enrolled in Personal Mastery /Oracle School in 2018. I could see the love, kinship of souls and respect you had for each other. Blessed to have you in my life. I’ve learned much from all of you…. And I know Doug your friend and soul brother will be right beside you whenever you think of him – tell a story about him – share a memory – laugh or cry when thinking of him. Please take care of yourself. Much love and light✨🌟⭐️💫❤️♥️ Mini Jacques from Port Elgin Ontario. Blessings to you and all of Doug’s friends and family.

    • Linda
      Reply

      What a loving tribute between and because of two gorgeous raw real souls.Thqnk you🙇‍♀️💜

    • Richard Aaron Jaraba
      Reply

      Priceless what a icon I wish I knew.How blessed you are to have a partner in good shananigins and hugged through your past historical innerstand shananigins. Cherish Angels. Gifts that Never Die. Hug😘😘🌻😇🐢👼

    • Joycelyn Deep
      Reply

      What a wonderful tribute
      💞💫🙏

    • Doreen Swan
      Reply

      The words and experiences you have kindly shared about your friend Doug are truly amazing, thank you. Having never met either of you, I can only hope that one day in another time I will have the privilege to meet such a wonderful soul. Loving thoughts are coming your way Xxx

  • Anonymous
    Reply

    Such a Beautiful tribute to your dearest Friend. I feel your pain & understand your gratitude that he was brought into you life. Please know that you are in my thoughts & prayers. Love, Beth

  • Allie Pace
    Reply

    Special people like Doug only come around once in a lifetime. We feel them so deeply because we let them in that deep, there was an inner knowing from hello. People like that never leave us, even in crossing over. He is now your wingman on the other side of the vail. He’s holding space for you when it’s your turn.
    Thank you for being so honest about your feelings. It is yet another gift for us to heal from losses of our own.
    Stay true to you.
    Much love, Allie

    • Anonymous
      Reply

      Such a beautiful tribute to your friend, Doug. Thank you Colette sharing your story and know that indeed, we have a new blue and shiny Angel named Doug that is ready to help us on our journey to “Shine through the Divine”.
      Much love to you, always.🙏💜😇

  • Anonymous
    Reply

    Sending love to you and Doug. Blessing to you knowing you are loved.

  • Kathryn
    Reply

    That was beautiful Colette.

    • Stephanie R Martinez
      Reply

      What a beautiful blog Colette. I love how your words can sink in and hit that proverbial cord inside us.
      The part where you said about learning to let go of the stories that keep us tied to the past, could we work more on that? I have a hard time letting go of that. And I see how it affects me.
      Thank you for all you do teaching us to be emissaries of the Divine.
      Sending you and Doug Love & Light.

  • Connie Baldwin
    Reply

    Doug really was a special man and I enjoyed getting to know him through Oracle School. Yours and his friendship and love for one another was evident. He will be missed! Thank you for sharing your true feelings! May you be blessed with comfort in your grief.

  • Darlene Vasser
    Reply

    Awe Colette, that was beautiful. I could feel your sadness the day you spoke about Doug’s death to your community. I can now feel your love and deep gratitude for having him in your life then and now as your angel. I wish I would have known him. He sounds like a hoot and my kind of man!

    I appreciate your message to us and look forward to our path forward as we experience new territory for our world.

    Take care of yourself and know your peeps love and care for you. You remind me so much of my beloved Aunt Jenny that I lost several years ago. She shared your enthusiasm for life and was very pretty like you too. Everybody wanted to be around her. You both share that too as we all want a piece of your zest!

    Your friend,

    Darlene Vasser

  • Janice Fletcher
    Reply

    Thank you for sharing with us. You being honest and real with all of us and saying it like it is drew me to you. You don’t hold back and we love the pirate in you.

    Blessings to all of you as you continue to remember all the lovely things Doug shared with you.

  • Mary Jane
    Reply

    I am so sorry for your loss! I was unable to do Oracle palooza this year but I am hoping to do so next time.

  • Bonnie
    Reply

    A beautiful tribute to your beloved friend, Colette! Your friendship was (and is) such a blessing.

  • Lisa
    Reply

    Colette, thank you for sharing your heartfelt feelings. Doug truly was a blessing to so many. ❤️

  • Holly Hilts
    Reply

    He sounds like an amazing soul and human being. Thank you for sharing your experience and memories of Doug. I feel like I’ve gotten a glimpse of his essence and hope I will get to meet him one day in another form or lifetime.

  • Colby Anne Thompson
    Reply

    Love you Colette. I so wish that I could have met Doug in person, the man I have enjoyed in Oracle School the past two semesters has left an impression on me for sure. I’m glad I have the old live calls from those times because he spoke to me on camera and a few times through the chat and he always made me feel so supported in my journey. Oracle School has definitely transformed my life, each time taking me to another level and this semester, having the experience of 10 months of studying your complete program, I feel myself being catapulted to a place I have only dreamed of and I still feel Doug’s support. Knowing that he is part of the ethereal , I am sure that this year will be something we shall never forget (I never thought in March I’d be saying that). You and your entire team have made 2020 a better place to be. Now isn’t that something?

  • Ashleigh
    Reply

    This is the perspective shift I need this morning. It was a true reminder of the beauty and peace a deep friendship can bring to our souls. I am going to send a message of thankfulness to each dear friend close to me right now.
    Thank you again for this nudge to remember that Spirit also acts through the people we love.

  • Kim
    Reply

    Beautiful, heartfelt memories of a wonderful friendship ~~ thank you for sharing, Colette ~~ Hugs and much love sent your way <3

  • Anja Pollenus
    Reply

    Gave me goosebumps all over. He was and is an amazing man and will be missed.
    Love the idea of a blue hair angel 💕💕💕
    Sending you a big hug 🧸🧸🧸

  • Glenn Mavor
    Reply

    I still feel the we can do it especially after this wonderful tribute and love filled continued connection. Thank you♥️ And to Doug, our Soul Minister 🙏🏼

  • Carol Atterbury
    Reply

    Truly beautiful, and your strength to still carry through with us in your time of grief, well appreciated, I did not get to meet Doug but I am certain the love you show for him he was an amazing man. Thank you for all you do and may Doug’s light keep shining.
    Love and Light 💞

  • Anonymous
    Reply

    There is nothing that can fill that loss and hole and no bigger love as your boths love for each other * Love you * besitos and a huuuuuuge Hug <3 Suza*

  • Debbie
    Reply

    Hugs to you Collette. I love that your post is so authentic! 🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞

  • Maxine Racanelli
    Reply

    I once read that when we are born, the Angel’s weep and when we pass, the Angel’s rejoice.
    Although we mourn the loss of loved ones, there is rejoicing on the other side because a brave warrior has come home.
    I didn’t know your friend, but it sounds as if he fought the good fight.
    Bright Blessings for a good journey home.

  • Dorothea Photinidis
    Reply

    Love and Hugs to you Colette for the passing of Doug. Grief is ever present in our hearts – it’s tandem brother is Love. Life and crossing over. One and the Same, ever present in the circle of life. I have the utmost admiration for your work and how you present it and have loved each and every single yet entirely different pack of cards you have created. Love and Blessings to you from Kefalonia, Greece.

  • Katrina Plumb
    Reply

    Thank you for writing about Doug, Colette. I was not aware of his presence but should have been. My father died at Easter, in an old people’s home that was not allowing visitors. Although I was never close to him during my life, I visited him a lot over the last year until regulations forbade it. Needless to say, I do not know what to say. Some people’s presence does not allow absence and I’m sure you’ll encompass Doug’s spirit, perhaps reciprocally.

  • Deborah Saunders
    Reply

    How blessed you are! He was certainly a gift from the Divine. I had one of those gifts as well. It was over 20+ years ago and reading your blog reminds me so much of my beloved friend Raymond. He was my husband in another lifetime, my uncle, my brother, my cheerleader. He would protect me from anybody if needed. He will never be forgotten and he will always be in my heart 💖.
    Doug will always be in your heart too. You did Oracle Palooza in a completely different way, successfully, and I’m sure he was there to cheer you on! Now, Doug is on the other side watching over you and added to his many wonderful qualities, now he’s your Angel. 😇

  • Kathy Reeser
    Reply

    Sending you big hugs and lots of love! Thank you for the beautiful message and for creating such a lovely school to guide us to remember how to shine on behalf of the Divine!

  • Sharon
    Reply

    That was a beautiful tribute Colette to a wonderful man. I certainly enjoyed meeting him through Oracle School. He was a special soul. As you stated, grief has no timeframe. It will always be there. My mom who was my best friend passed away last year, and I get these out of the blue moments of intense grief that just wash over me. But there are also those moments of love and gratitude that are experienced because you had the opportunity of having that person in your life. Then you remember all the joyous times together and the love they left behind that you hold in your heart. I pray you have peace knowing he will always be with you.

  • Michele S
    Reply

    Thank you, Colette, for opening your Soul to us once again on this deeply personal sadness. Today I learned of an untimely death of my friend’s husband. The profound sadness is the mirror of our profound love and caring. We count the many blessings of others who shared their hearts with us and take those lessons to live on through us. Sending hugs, prayers, healing thoughts!

  • Cynthia Eyer
    Reply

    You are just as courageous and brave as our loving, fun, witty, caring Doug. This change of energy is part of your own booklist of changes you experienced this year and through your grief, will continue to ask you to witness, question, seek, and re-witness what you thought was true. It’s been almost 17 years since my son ascended and I still sift, shift, and witness what I thought was true for me as I move through the life stages of my grief. I appreciate your message, for it helps me to offer myself memory gifts as I ponder how my son still touches so many lives beyond his mortality. Much Love MiLady.

  • Maryanne Graham
    Reply

    Thank you for this post. Doug was another loss for me. I am coping with trying to let go of what does not serve me as I too step up to the plate of human and spirit connection. Love transcends all planes.
    Hugs and love. Thank you, Colette for being uniquely inspiring human you. You are beautiful and simply amazing.

  • Anonymous
    Reply

    The physical loss of Doug was-a loss that effected the entire os community and beyond

  • Marianne K Keefer
    Reply

    It will come back to visit you anyway……..

    “Grief is like a drunken house guest, always coming back for one more goodbye hug.”
    -Stephen King

    “The Dance”

    Looking back on the memory of
    The dance we shared ‘neath the stars above
    For a moment all the world was right
    How could I have known that you’d ever say goodbye

    And now I’m glad I didn’t know
    The way it all would end the way it all would go
    Our lives are better left to chance
    I could have missed the pain
    But I’d have had to miss the dance

    Holding you I held everything
    For a moment wasn’t I a king
    But if I’d only known how the king would fall
    Hey who’s to say you know I might have changed it all

    And now I’m glad I didn’t know
    The way it all would end the way it all would go
    Our lives are better left to chance
    I could have missed the pain
    But I’d have had to miss the dance

    Yes my life is better left to chance
    I could have missed the pain
    But I’d have had to miss the dance

    Peace and love to you and Mark

  • Shivamaia
    Reply

    Love and blessings to you, Colette, and thank you for the deep and honest sharing as you go through the difficult steps of grieving your dear friend.
    I lost my soul sister very unexpectedly when she was only 33, many years ago, and can truly empathize with you. As you go through this time of acknowledgement and processing the time that you had with Doug in this reality, may you deeply feel the love that you both shared, and the knowledge that he is still with you,and loving you, though not in the body. I hope that there is some comfort for you in knowing how many people you touch, and who love and support you.

  • Debbie
    Reply

    Beautiful Colette, sending so much love to you 💖

  • Nancy MM
    Reply

    I am glad you are taking the time for yourself to be still, enjoy your beautiful home, nature and all the feelings you are feeling. Your community you have gathered is right here beside you and so grateful for all that you give. You do shine and Doug shines over you. I know you know that, so words really don’t seem adequate. May you find comfort in all you have created.

  • Anonymous
    Reply

    Thank you for your heartfelt inspiring words that filled my heart. Love, hugs and blessings 💞💞💞

  • Theresa
    Reply

    Colette, that was so beautiful and caring sharing this and the lost of Doug. It was fabulous and loved both your humor and fun in Oracle School. Love and Hugs.

  • Beatrice Biancolin
    Reply

    Beautifully said Colette. Thank you for sharing. Sending you virtual hugs.

  • Amy J Matteson Zicafoose
    Reply

    The love between you and Doug was palpable; during each live call during Oracle School and Shared Wisdom you worked seamlessly. I was blessed be part of your last duet (on this side of the veil).

    I have recalled the reading you and Mark sharedd with me during S.W. often since his death. I recieved insight just this morning from that reading. What a gift!

    Thank you for sharing your grief so transparently. I expected no less from you. You are so very loved and supported by a community who is truly grateful for guidance, gentle confrontation, encouragement, and the amazing teaching you give us every day.

    Knowing you are never separated from love experienced and shared, makes the grief journey excruciating and deeply gratifying simultaneously.

    I will never forget you and Doug as a team, and the magic you shared with us all. Sending you and team CBR comfort and love.

  • Anonymous
    Reply

    I don’t know why but I cry everytime I see his face, the loss of his energy on the earth level. This affected me so deeply and I don’t feel like I have the right to feel that way because I didn’t know about his private FB page to help him thru his journey or like we were close. He may not even have remembered me (although I think he would just because of who he was) but he left such a deep imprint with me. I aspired and aspire to be more like him. I am sorry for your losing such a close friend. I know grief shows up in its own way and time. I can’t imagine your depth of heartache. Thanks for sharing Colette. I miss him too.

  • Pat Burrows
    Reply

    Such a beautiful tribute to the bravest, most loving and real, human angel I have ever known. He taught us all so much. I will be forever grateful to have had the benefit of his always uplifting wisdom, and to have experienced his Blue Bear hug that was so comforting and reassuring. As always, I will continue to hold him with love and gratitude in my heart.

  • Melinda
    Reply

    I am so sorry for the exquisite pain you have gone through with your friend transitioning. Thank you for pulling through to make Oracle Palooza happen despite your grief.

  • Trudy Moffat
    Reply

    Colette that was beautiful ❤.
    I didn’t know of Doug’s passing until I was shocked at Oracle Palooza! I didn’t see your post ☹. My deepest condolences.
    There is one snazzy dressed angel in heaven!
    Take care, Trudy

  • Patricia
    Reply

    A lovely sharing of the heart, full of strength and grief. Thank you for your insights.

  • Constance
    Reply

    I knew he would be with you throughout the weekend, he’s one of your angels 👼🏼 now. 🥰. Love 💕 Constance

  • Linda Seebohar
    Reply

    What a beautiful memory that you will always cherish. Doug sounds like an amazing soul that you will have close to your heart for an eternity! My sincere blessings to you, especially since you have opened up my mind and heart from your Oracle Palooza, love to you!!

  • Laura Boies
    Reply

    Sending love and hugs, Colette. I love Doug. I loved Oracle School (twice for me) and the way you two interacted. He was/is a kind, beautiful soul, and I learned a lot from him. I am so very sorry.

  • Maggie
    Reply

    Love and hugs Colette. I haven’t been around for some time now, and, I am just learning of Doug’s cancer battle and transition now. I loved the banter in Oracle School and equally loved Doug’s take on things. He had a great interpretation/message which always led me to further examine my situation/self. He will be missed.

  • Allyson O'Hara-Cribdon
    Reply

    Thank you for sharing, Colette. Love & magical hugs to you!

  • Allyson O'Hara-Cribdon
    Reply

    Thank you for sharing, Colette! Love & magical hugs to you.

  • Anonymous
    Reply

    Thank you for that message and don’t worry, you will be.

  • Dee
    Reply

    Words can’t express what I am feeling… Doug’s light shone so brightly, and we were all blessed by his wisdom , infectious joy, and his compassion…I only knew him from Oraclepallooza #1 and OS… I know the profound impact he has had on my life..and how grateful hw was in my life through you. . how lucky and blessed you are to have had him as your bestie ! Until it was his time I know he did not go gentle into that good night. Sending you love and profound peace Dee Janes

  • Deborah Tibbetts-Tumiel
    Reply

    🌸Two Beautiful Souls🌸One Dimension Apart🌸Always Together🌸Always Blessed🌸Always Loved💕

  • Jackie
    Reply

    Hugs to you Colette. Thanks for always sharing your authentic self. I’m glad I got to know Doug through OS. There’s nothing I can say to take your pain away but I appreciate this beautiful post.

  • Denise Smith
    Reply

    Beautiful tribute. 🙏

  • Jane pickard
    Reply

    Sorry Collette for your loss best friends are so important I’ve just lost my best friend and that hurts so much

  • Pattie
    Reply

    Blessings to you Colette. You are amazing and inspiring . Thank you so much for all you do.
    Prayers for your peace and comfort.

  • Susan Phelan
    Reply

    Thank you for opening your heart and sharing that. It touched me. I understand that to die is inevitable and also that it is not the end. However, yes, knowing that you cannot hug that person physically is very difficult. Doug´s spirit will always be with you, guiding you and probably cajoling you when he feels you need it. I am truly sorry for your loss and inspired by your bravery in carrying on with the virtual event in the circumstances. Much love to you. xx

  • Fiona
    Reply

    Pure divine love from my heart to yours Colette.

  • Leslie Hoffman
    Reply

    Colette,
    This is beautiful.
    As I sat and watched his memorial, all I could think of was what an incredible strength and depth of a shining light Doug gave to everyone without hesitation. His seeds of inspiration will forever remain with people and flourish.

  • Susan Edwards
    Reply

    I’m so sorry for your, and our, loss of Doug. He was a big part of my learning experience in OS and I am very grateful to have had the benefit of his wisdom. Your blog is a beautiful tribute to him an his existence on this plain. May the Universe soothe your grief.

  • Anonymous
    Reply

    Your words highlight the need for us to live our authentic best lives in service to the universe and mankind. Doug was our loving teacher. We share in your grief and your hope for uplifting the individual being and the collective as a result. Thanks for all you do. We miss you Doug.

  • Aimee
    Reply

    Beautiful tribute and I am so sorry for your (and our) physical loss of Doug. I completed oracle school 2019 and fell in love with Doug, his spirit the warmth and clarity he brought to every class. I dreamed to someday work with him as my coach. Thank you, I will definitely call on him as one of my Spirit guides! Wishing you all the best at this time!

  • Diana
    Reply

    First of all:
    I am so very sorry for your loss,
    I am so very happy you were able to
    experience that profoundly deep
    friendship, and
    I can’t imagine a more beautiful tribute to
    someone so amazing.
    Thank you for sharing this.
    Much love to you at this time.

  • Lynette
    Reply

    Colette you are blessed to have known this wonderful being So sorry for your loss My thoughts healing prayers and and love going out to you🙏🏻💫💖

  • Christine Boukhalil
    Reply

    As a student of Oracle school, I very much enjoyed Doug’s energy and sensitivity during the classes, I would have loved to hug him and thank him for his presence. Bye bye dear Doug, see you again, who knows ! Thanks Colette for your deeply moving blog post ! Love you !

  • Janet
    Reply

    Beautifully expressed💙. Sending love and missing Doug’s big gentle presence. 🙏🏻💙🌀💫✨🌟

  • Veroshka
    Reply

    I am truly so deeply sorry for your loss and wish you exceptional healing through this very touching and heartbreaking experience! It is never an easy path to walk when we lose someone so special, that meant so much to you. Thank you for sharing your experience, for being so humble and vulnerable during this traumatic time. I wish I could have known, or have experienced Doug’s energy here on earth, he sounds super amazing and awesome! Thank you for sharing your deepest thoughts and feelings with us mere souls! Love always…

  • Monice
    Reply

    I have no words. I somehow missed the news of his passing with everything going on. He was indeed your wingman, we all saw that in Oracle School. As you remind us soul mates might come and go but they leave an indelible mark. I am so very sorry for your loss.

  • Jenny Perruzzi
    Reply

    So sorry to learn of Doug’s passing. His was a contagious energy, his love and caring for humankind always evident.

  • Jas
    Reply

    My deepest condolences on Doug’s passing. I will always remember his caring energy. May he Rest In Peace.

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