Amazing Grace (or, how a no complaining diet creates miracles!)!
Updated: October 19, 2014
Dearest amazing you,
We are past the midpoint of this mercury retrograde and heading into the tail end of the disruption and I’d love to hear how it’s been for you. I have to say it’s been extremely jammed with “stuff” for me but it’s also been strangely uplifting too.
I had committed to a “no complaining diet” for 30 days and I’d love to share with you how it’s changed my life.
I’m writing this from an airport (yup- again!) while my husband and the dogs are being swarmed by movers back at the house as they’re helping us pack for our total life move next week.
Love how I said “helping US pack”.
Other than slapping some stickers on a couple boxes and putting Do Not Touch signs on them the rest is all on Marc!
Not sure about you but packing and moving can create so much anxiety in me some days I think I’m going to spontaneously combust. Hence Spirit organizes my schedule so I have a speaking engagement conveniently smack dab in the middle of it all, then Omega the day after I move.
In the past my schedule would have had me moaning and groaning, triggered with anxiety about the house, the dogs, the birds, and all kinds of insecurities and my Chicken Little challenger self would be squawking about how the sky is falling OMG!
Not this time and here’s why. I made a promise to reframe my thoughts and perspective the minute I go to the default setting of worry that sits in my DNA.
What we all have to remember is that old patterns of challenging emotional states that are reinforced over time via the subconscious are wired into our brains. Self- compassion and willingness to do things differently provide us with the keys to get out of those old prisons.
The most important key is to actually do something different not just think about it.
It’s not that the difficult feelings are banished forever, nor is it that the actual life issues are easier. It’s that by not complaining about anything I have been able to trust the process more and see things from a very different perspective.
A good example is that I had to fly back and forth to the west coast twice within a couple weeks this month. I used to get bad jet lag and so in the past It’s as if I braced myself for the exhaustion, rehearsing it in my mind and body. I would also typically get a cold too.
This time I decided to see things with a sense of humor.
What if there were no planes and all I had was a covered wagon to get back and forth across the country?
Imagine how long it would have taken me to accomplish those 2 feats? I definitely would have missed my mark and likely would have been a year late for it if I hadn’t perished along the way!
Never mind how much do I love to watch the little cars move around on my Uber app when I need a ride to my hotel with a bathtub and clean running water! Whoa. No complaining also allows me to consider what I take for granted.
The result? No cold, and no jet lag! No kidding!
The experience of a positive perspective seems to flood all the other areas of life too. Yes things can go upside down. Nothing is the end of the world. Obviously as a medium I also know the big end isn’t the end either so it really hit me that keeping a positive attitude has kept me in a pretty consistent trusting relationship to Spirit in so many ways.
No matter that my drivers license expired (oops) and I forgot to pay a speeding ticket (oh oh) and that I managed to be unclear about the instructions for the guy painting my new house resulting in a higher bill and all the trim needing to be repainted. One thing after another too many (and too private) to share here but with this promise of no complaining it’s been such a trusting and hopeful time when in the past, well, never mind.
The truth is, complaining and reiterating stories of “he/she/it did that to me” keeps me in the wiring. Those victim stories that are based in memory are like extra barbed wire in the prison of the mind. I want out don’t you?
I want to share an important story with you that is delicate for me to tell but so meaningful.
I ran into someone yesterday from my past. He is a man that took part in one of the most shameful experiences when I was a drug addict in my early twenties. I have seen him maybe 6 times in the 34 years passed. Each time I would not be able to breathe, remembering how I gave my power away and stood like a deer caught in headlights frozen in fear and overcome with shame. His presence reminded me of every degrading experience I have ever had.
Years ago he was so handsome, deadly too, one of those bad boys that strutted around in the coolest places. He was popular too. Women swooned over him way back, which was why my experience was even more painful and embarrassing.
I stood this time, without fear, just observant.
He approached me and I saw him for who he was. He was older, paunchy, a little sleazy now, and no longer able to hold the old persona together. He had that haunted look of awareness of what he would never accomplish.
He said: “Wow you look incredible. You have not changed- it’s amazing.”
I said: “O but I have” and a genuine smile took over my whole being and I looked at him and wished him well and meant it.
I felt compassion and an honest shedding of all blame, all the shame was gone and finally understood that all the years of staying sober, surrendering to Spirit, and learning to love myself had paid off and it had nothing to do with my outsides.
Yes I had the initial catch in my throat that precedes the cascading of the old emotions but because I had been rehearsing the positivity perspective (I mean if you can’t complain you have to reframe yes?) I was already in the space of observance and humility, and the joy that comes along with that.
This is the amazing grace I want to wake up to every day but it’s up to me.
I think I will keep this no complaining thing going.
Love love love from ME!