Find Your Voice!

Updated: February 2, 2020


This week I noticed a theme that I picked up on during conversations with various people I thought I’d bring to you. I noticed there was a recurring discussion about speaking the truth, using your voice in a powerful way, and dealing with the consequences of what happens when you don’t speak out of fear.

Authenticity requires you to use your voice with a certain veracity– telling the truth, the absolute truth. Finding your voice takes courage, especially if you were raised to be seen and not heard, or you had to fight to be heard, or you were punished for telling the truth. Maybe all these things were implied while you were learning how to fit in, before finding out who you wanted to be.

This was always a tough one for me because being open and honest about my truth was dangerous. At least that’s what I learned from my mother.  For her entire life, she feared the worst and never allowed herself to be intimate with anyone lest that put her in danger. She survived the Holocaust in Nazi Germany by being hidden in a Christian family who later adopted her.  So there was an underlying message I learned early on about the possibility of grave consequences for being transparent.

Maybe that’s why I feel so passionate about transparency and speaking the truth.  It’s an honorable way to be with people, but mostly with myself.

Many times I’ve been riveted in fear: when speaking in front of people, or setting boundaries with someone who didn’t respect mine, or making amends and taking real ownership of my part in something that caused a rift in a friendship. Sometimes I’m so afraid to disappoint someone I feel sick to my stomach but I’ve learned the anxiety is something I inherited and not something that’s mine.

What about you? What have you inherited that makes it hard or easy to tell your truth? How have you overcome this? Have you said what you needed to say even if your hands were shaking?

Sure it’s scary, but the pay off is amazing.

You get freedom.  The freedom you feel when you own your truth, engage in self-evaluation, give voice to what inspires you and honor what you stand for regardless if people dislike you for it.

The velocity that leads you forward rapidly manifesting from a place of truth and honesty comes as if out of nowhere to sweep you up and forward on your destiny road.

Voicing what’s going on, telling your story, and letting yourself be heard is so freeing.

I invite you to spend some time thinking of one moment you can remember in which you said what you meant and not what you thought you were supposed to say. Bring that memory to mind. Savor it.

Having your voice heard is essential to your well-being. Speaking your truth even if your voice trembles and you trip over your tongue and you are the most inarticulate nerd on the planet…there is something so magical and freeing about speaking to what is.

So this week think about this. Your voice is key and veracity is the only thing that’s important.  Should you remember those two things, know this: truth-telling calls in miracles that happen with such velocity you will truly believe in magic.

Love to my community, I am listening for your voices.

Showing 48 comments
  • Bettymay

    Thank you for this. It was so much fun and it really rang my bells!

    • Anonymous

      I can’t believe little ole me is saying something. It took me years to speak my truth for sake of saving a family relationship. The aftermath was not good, but I learned boundaries. Thanks to my friends who recognized this. In hind site, I showed strength and am not a sheep following the ring leader(family to boot). Reading your blog Collette, reiterated the fears your mom had as I (maybe not to the same extent) but definitely there. Thank you

    • Julie Butler

      Thank you Beautiful lady for all your amazing work, it is always on point for me and totally resonates deep within my Soul. You Inspire me, you always speak to the very depths of my heart and Soul. It is an honour and a Blessing to have you in my life, you have gotten me through some of my darkest days, and for that reason alone I will always be eternally grateful to you. God Bless, Julie xx

  • Colleen Lynch

    WOW!. this is so appropriate for me today. When I pulled my daily card it was FEAR from Wisdom of Avalon! Now I really need to do some work and find out what I am afraid of and learn to use my voice to express my needs and Fears.

  • Amy J Matteson Zicafoose

    Thank you, Colette. I am grateful for the work you do to help make the world a brighter, healthier place. I am so thankful you chose recovery, and found your voice. You are a lighthouse to so many of us.

  • Starwalker

    This was perfectly timed for me, thank you. I think where I have been struggling lately is the line between speaking my truth but doing no harm with my words. Some people do not react well to hearing truths and I do not want to force truths upon them harmfully with my words. I haven’t yet found my harmony with this issue (and currently have a throat infection).

  • D'onna

    Cards drawn were spot on
    Slow down

  • Carmel Blore

    Wow! This totally resonated with me in so many ways.
    I am (to a degree) aware of why I sometimes don’t speak my truth.. and after reading this, can’t wait to sit and reflect further and try find ways to move past the fear.
    Thanks so much Colette.

  • Christy

    Thank you Colette!
    I experienced this very thing last Sat. night at dinner with my two sons, always right on topic you are. My 19 yo son currently is a skeptic ( as I was at his age) – there are no such things as ghosts and witches, psychics are frauds, etc.
    So I calmly explained to him the difference between real psychics and frauds and shared with him some of my communications with those from the other side. And as I was getting to the point that such communication is subtle, my 12 yo son jumped in to say “it is also complicated”. He is VERY sensitive/intuitive and knows about all of this woo woo stuff, without me ever teaching him. I think he is teaching me actually 🙂
    It felt sooooo good to speak so truthfully without being defensive or argumentative, and I could tell that my older son was just taking it in, esp. when the younger one chimed in on his own.
    thanks again and love to all!

  • Cheryl


  • Mary

    Such perfect timing .This has been a struggle for me and a goal I made a year ago . Yesterday I did just that and left the meeting a bit shocked at myself but please that I had spoken my truth.A class member even told me she was surprised to hear me say so much .Yes it was freeing LOL

  • Bonnie Lea Townsend

    Yes I’ve always thought of myself as little, not that I’m considered short, but the shortest one in my family. I was also raised that children should be seen and not heard. I’ve always had jobs where I was the support person or behind the scenes, quiet and patient, not that’s all bad. But I know I have things I want to share and say, and that energy is getting intense. I’m on my way to finding outlets to express what it is I want to say, because I believe in myself now, and discovered that others will give their support! Yay!

  • Jim

    Thank you.

  • Anthonia Bakker

    Beautifully said! Thank you!

  • Veroshka

    Thank you Colette, this so resonated with me. Sadly as a child, telling the truth meant that I was beaten and as a consequence rather kept quiet and take punishment for not speaking at all. Either way, the truth, a lie or silence meant punishment 😔 So I got to a point where no matter what, I speak the truth, even though at times I am so scared that I fear to lose control of every fibre of my body, that in that moment I believe that I will not survive that moment… to manage that fear, that awful experience which follows me like a dark shadow, have thought myself to slow my breath and take a moment before I speak, to slow my racing heart to a slow and steady rhythmic beat, and tell the truth no matter what; to be authentic is magical, even if just for oneself… thank you for this today 💞

  • Anonymous

    I think it’s important to tell the truth as it takes years to build up trust with people and if they reveal a secret or withhold information from they’re nearest and dearest it can be perceived as deceitful and the trust goes. Not telling the trust can damage relationships.

  • Renee Sugar

    Dear Colette;
    Thank you for the opportunity to share. This is a very special opportunity and I really do appreciate it. As a child of alcoholism, there was the “outer” and ” inner” reality. The “outer” was what you wanted others to see. It was a “performance” where you acted in a way that was more acceptable to those around you. Inside your emotions did not match your behavior. I recall a slogan from Al-Anon days for ACOA(adult children of alcoholics) ” Don’t trust, don’t talk, don’t feel.” As I began to attend meetings and heard others ” share” so openly, and honestly, I gradually learned to trust others. Each time I shared at a meeting there was this total silence and space where you were accepted, and welcomed so you could open the door to your heart. Mine was encased in cement at that time, only 19 years old or so. As I opened my ears, which were really always open as I was a very ” quiet” person. I grew to understand, to relate and to empathize. I also became acquainted with stranger who lived inside my body who hadn’t a clue how or what I felt. I will always be immensely grateful to the members of the first group I attended. Currently I am learning about boundaries now reading Nancy Levin’s newest book and am gaining a new perspective about the harm that I do when I don’t speak my truth. the greatest harm is to myself. ” Say what you mean and mean what you say, for those who matter won’t mind and those who mind don’t matter”.
    Thank you Dr. Seuss.

  • Cynthia Eyer

    Colette, thank you for being the observer you are and helping us to see with a different lens. Sometimes speaking my truth is a double-sided sword. I am reminded to also be kind to whom I’m speaking to as well as to myself. Sometimes emotions can take control instead of me being in control. I remind myself that if it isn’t expressed with kindness AND truly requires being said without benefit at the expense of another, then I shouldn’t say it. Sometimes my quiet silence holds more veracity in my truth than any words I could say that the other person isn’t “ready” maturely to receive. Fine line I’m finding in this.
    Much Love MiLady ❤️
    Lady Fae

  • Aria Squire

    Yes to all you shared so eloquently! I believe there is an energy rising that is calling for deeper authenticity speaking our truths gives us a solid foundation of integrity upon which to draw strength, courage and security! Women especially have deep often unconscious fears due to the historical past and somewhat present that shames or hinders and denies the power and need for women to speak. Here is to a new time where people of all ages and creeds learn to speak truth and to grace others the respect of listening

  • Jane Emily Mathers

    Thank you for this message. I will read it over, and over again. Very valuable message!

  • Anonymous

    Wow! Speaking my truth has been an overlying theme for the past few weeks! Thanks for your reminder. Blessings!

  • Jennifer Wentzlaff

    Thank you for this!! Perfect timing!! xo

  • Dana

    “Bring that memory to mind. Savor it.” What powerful wisdom! Thank you for the gift of being reminded of my strength.

  • Kaitlin Lewis

    Thank you so MUCH! I am working on trying to find my voice between my mom and my sister who are extremely dominating and it came be very hard to voice it when it comes to them. Even more so when they are fighting so much and my sister hates our mom.

    When I first got the Crystal Spirits one of the Cards was to stop running away from the problems more like I am trying to free myself from my situation and so I can have my own freedom and a place where I can kick them out when I have to. So I won’t feel so chain and build-up the courage to speak the truth but also get the help I need to do so.

  • Deanna Batte’

    Thank you for this beautiful reminder to stand free! We are all here for a purpose, Imagine if we all embraced that openly!

  • Anonymous

    Yes, i believe in telling the truth…
    If you can not talk about the truth you can get sick…
    Have a nice day!!🤗

  • Anonymous

    Thanks Colette. I have always struggled with speaking my truth .
    Lots of love

  • Donna Masotti

    Speaking my truth has been my mission for the last several years and it’s getting easier. I feel so empowered when I do; I’ve taken ownership for my thoughts and actions and don’t feel compelled to explain myself. It is definitely a freeing experience.

  • Theresa

    Thank you as this does explain what I have gone through in life.

  • Abigail

    I lost a best friend’s friendship of 38 years after speaking the truth (as uneloquent and fearful as I was when saying it- it was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done). I was devastated, but came to realize that her “response” to my honesty was defensive and in victim-voice; she never asked me how this happened, or how we could avert/understand this dynamic in the future. I realized then, that she really had no interest in repairing it – as she would’ve had to look at her own actions. I then decided that I only wanted friends who I could truly trust, who really had my back; which are the qualities I bring to a friendship. I’ve also made a pact with myself that moving forward, I will find the best way (calmly and clearly), to speak my heart, without worrying that I may “not be loved”, and will “lose” if I speak the truth. Onward and upward! Amen <3

  • Kate Lynch

    Thank you for this post!! As always, right on to what’s going on in my life. I’m struggling with telling my truth, but when I do-it’s truly magical!!

  • Monica Scheuer Blichfeldt

    Thank you for these words of wisdom ❤️💚🥰

    As I write this, I just had an epiphany…
    I have been afraid of standing up in public all my life – in this life, that is…
    I just realised, that my fright stems from (a) previous life/lives, where people was prosecuted for their beliefs, if those beliefs didn’t correlate with the various priesthoods…

    In a previous life, I was burnt at the stake, and those memories still linger in me; today – in our part of the world people are no more prosecuted and executed for their beliefs; we might get ridiculed, yet that does not have a dangerous impact on our live and it won’t kill us 💚

    Now I have something specific to work with 😄👍

    Thank you for that from all of my heart ❤️💚🙏

  • Charlotte

    Wowwwwwww…been terrified of loss…so I don’t speak ast clearly as I need to, thank you

  • Reggie

    I was just writing about this, open up my email and here is your message. It’s a beautiful and inspiring piece, your truth and authenticity come through! Thank you!!!

  • Anonymous

    Thank you ❤

  • Maria

    It’s a powerful reminder of how much fear we inherit from others and the importance of liberating ourselves from it. When we authentically express our needs from a place of self-compassion and integrity, any negative reaction from others is for them to reflect on. Thank you for your post.

  • Sid

    I have struggled with this issue alot lately. I am ready to move on, with my plans to move back home, to help care for my Mother and be closer to my children. The relationship status that I came here for, no longer exists. When I state out loud that I’m leaving, he plays the, “Whoa is me/sickly junk”. You can imagine the rest of my story.

    One of these days soon( and I know my truth) it’s going to come roaring out! Any suggestions on how to politely ROAR?

    Thank You for all the wonderful inspiration you give!

  • Carolyn

    I think it’s important also to find your own truth. I realized recently my anger belongs to my mother, I’ve been carrying her anger all my life. Time to release and learn to better control being an empath so I can stop carrying others emotions. Colette do you have a seminar or book on this topic? Love you, love what you do! Thank you 🙂

  • Judith Robuliak

    Big smiles as I have been having this conversation with a number of people.

    Recently, I was in a camera store to have my camera diagnosed for repair. My shutter release button was no longer functioning. The function to receive images imploded while at a sacred indigenous fishing site. Last minute I grabbed a SD card that was full of pictures, strobes, ribbon and orb light configurations, that I received during my time caregiving my mother. Upon inspection of my camera, my disclosure when it stopped working, and the SD card contents, the customer service person offered me a dismissive side look. In checking the review function, he glanced at a couple of images on the SD card.
    “I guess you are going to tell me this is paranormal.”
    I smiled.
    “I am a science guy. There has to be proof and reasoning.”
    I smiled.
    This theme continued for awhile. I now know his education and university degrees.

    Although vocally quiet in my response, my authentic self showed up composed and confident. My empath self wanted to ease his discomfort. I didn’t. I listened as he and theorized out loud to himself as he was inputting my information into the computer, no eye contact, staring at the screen, he mumbled to himself,
    “Perhaps I need to be more open to the possibilities of proof of something I do not understand.”
    I smiled.

    My body language through the encounter was my authentic voice. I gave my empath voice another job. Life lesson reversal moment. I am not here to make everyone comfortable. I am here to be grounded and empowered in my authentic voice. That makes me smile.

    • Brenna

      Yeah! This: “ I am not here to make everyone comfortable. I am here to be grounded and empowered in my authentic voice.“. 😊

  • Brenna

    Thank you, from inside the spiritual closet! (If I ever get out of here, I’m gonna write a book!😄)
    My oracle cards from various decks have been all about this for the past few weeks. Speaking your truth, living with integrity…At some point, NOT speaking your truth just gets far more painful than would be the consequences of speaking up.
    Lots of love to you, Colette!

  • Karen

    I am honest and I stand up for myself these days, (which people don’t like), because I have to for my spirit.
    No more second guessing or feeling horrible about myself. I’m SO done with that.
    I’ve lost who I thought were friends, and I’ve realized in the past few months that it is necessary for my well being.
    I’m 57 and I wasn’t ready to do this when I was 20, 30, 40 or early 50’s.
    It’s self love for me now.
    Thankyou for this message. Perfect timing for me.🦋

  • Laurie Jones

    Hi Colette!
    Thank you for being so responsive to your peeps! When I read your blog I felt that you knew exactly where I have been lately as I have said before. For me, it is trying to find the “new” relationship with my mom and sisters, you know, after all the stuff dies Morrighan style! When you pick her daily you just know you have to let all that was with all its pain and ugliness go. We have lost so much in the last year -both families (mine very German) in order to heal abusive pasts and my 21 yr. old cat Angel too! I mourn her the most for that is where unconditional love is and teaches us that nothing means more. About speaking up, this is how we ended up where we are now. My daughter said enough and we followed her into the unknown. As a Leo sun AND Leo moon child with Libra rising, speaking up is something I cannot resist and have paid dearly for it my whole life. I will stop anywhere, anytime if I think an animal or child is being injured even to my own detriment. I call senators and everyone since they make me so mad lately-my husband is always ready for someone to show up and haul me away! I am the example of what can and does happen when we speak up, so much so that I think twice, really quick of course, heehee, before I do it. AND if you are writing something, always reread and wait a little before you send. You will always make changes after you take the emotion out and leave the professional sounding sh&t-what you will be PROUD of-since yes Colette, speaking up does something great for your soul. My mother lost her mother at age 10 in childbirth and raised her younger brothers, through rough times. We can understand ,maybe, why they are disassociated as they are, but at some point we have to put our hearts that have been battered over years from their inability to get help for themselves-first. My mom is still doing hurtful things-I don’t think she knows any different but she was a counselor so she should. As I see how it has affected my kids as I made excuses and felt sorry for my family as they are perpetually single, I started speaking up for us…and in a strong German family, hair is flying! I have been labeled “a walking billboard for psychiatric disease” last week so speak up and get ready!! Now I have to consider a Cease and Desist order since I want to get into the community for my book. This is speaking up at a new level for me and yes, I am hesitating. Love you Colette-one of your best yet!! Go Hay House girl!!!

  • Anonymous

    Dear Colette, Thank you once again for this amazingly healing forum. We are not alone, we are always loved, Divinely guided and protected. It is beautiful to use the wisdom and words from your cards. Blessings to all of us who have lost our voices but through your gentle guidance and truth telling, we are finding that authentic voice that lies like a hidden jewel within each of us. This is truly a safe place to heal. In love and gratitude

  • Susan Walker

    Thank you Colette xx

  • Anonymous

    It was difficult to do, to tell him not to use ME as his scape-goat while telling jokes to others, whether they were friends or strangers. This was about MY integrity at stake. So, I decided to tell him, by “truth-telling” on my behalf. My standing there while he told his jokes, then others laughing, put me into a humiliation. It felt WONDERFUL to speak up. He promised to never do that again ! Thanks for the opportunity to share this, for no one should ever stand back and think it’s ok to feel humiliation. love to you, Colette, for all that you do ! You always invite us to be authentic.

  • Tiziana Amagda Morgana

    Truth is a big issue in my family. There are a lot of secrets and there have always been. I tried to tell only the truth in the past, in any field and circumstance, but was punished or left alone by friends. So I tend not to speak, for not telling lies. I did a little search in my “past lives” too… burnt on the stake as heretic or witch, and perhaps also victim of hexes and black magic (and in this lifetime too). Sometimes I feel like Cassandra, condamned to not being believed. So, I don’t talk. I keep the truth for myself. And it is not good for my wellness and my life in general. But I don’t know how I can break this pattern. I don’t know whom I can trust.

  • Adiyanto

    Thank you, Colette and Victoria. I got Serendipity card. This is not only serendipity for me, regarding for what you are talking about (Having your voice heard), because that already happened to me recently. Since I believe no such things as “Serendipity” but more to be “God intervention”, so thank you again for showing me God’s present, helper and angels are always be with me.

    Be blessed and have a wondrous life in All – Ways!

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